are you staying here in hollywood? >> yes. >> jimmy: yes, okay. and you were expecting hollywood to be beautiful and glamorous? >> yes. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] well, sorry about that. [ laughter ] guillermo has an all-american gift for you, an apple pie. do you like pie? all right, there you go. enjoy ar apple pie. [ cheers and applause ] made from american apples here in america. all right. 1 for 1. let's see who else is out on the boulevard. all right. all right, now we have a gentleman here, his hair is leading me -- i don't know, that could go either way. the nose piercing, though -- i don't know yet makes me think foreigner, we have those here in the united states. let get a look at his shoes if we can. oftentimes those are the window to the soul. [ laughter ] looks like stan smith adidas type of thing we got going there. again, that could be either -- oh, that's tough too. huh. no markings. [ laughter ] what are you thinking, guillermo? do you have any opinions on this? >> guillermo: no, jimmy, you're by ufryourself on this one. [ laugh

i'm beaming in from the hollywood halloween depot! right down here at 6612 hollywood boulevard! >> jimmy: yes, i mentioned that a minute ago. >> where the only thing scarier than the costumes are our low, low prices! >> jimmy: are people scared by low prices? >> well, i sure am! but that's probably because my father was bludgeoned to death with a waffle iron at a home goods store on black friday. >> jimmy: oh, my god, that's horrible. >> i'm over it. so what can i do ya for? >> jimmy: i was just mentioning that people are still looking for costumes, and i was wondering what kind of stuff you still have in stock. >> well, we sold out of the good stuff, the classics, early. we sold out of the witches and the demonic clowns and the squid gamers and what have you. >> jimmy: uh-huh? >> but there are a few costumes that for some reason are still for sale. >> jimmy: okay, great, like what? >> well, like this. hey, hey, hey! it's bill cosby! dr. cliff huxtable, america's dad! put your pants on, theo! jell-o, jell-o, jell-o, jell-o. remember that gag? what a gas! >> jimmy: yeah. bill cos

. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- serena williams. and music from j balvin. and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, thank you. thank you, everyone. thanks. thank you, thank you. hi, guys. well, that's very nice. thanks. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching and thank you for joining us here in -- wow, it was a beautiful day here in sunny southern california, where as of yesterday we started giving the vaccine to kids aged 5 and up. [ cheers ] finally, our kids will be able to go to bars and nightclubs again. [ laughter ] isn't that great? this has been a very bittersweet week for children. on sunday, you get a bag full of candy. three days later, you get a needle in your arm. [ laughter ] welcome to life, kids! the white house is doing their part to get shots in us. team biden today announced that more than 100 million american workers are required to be fully vaccinated by january 4th. and if i know my fellow american workers, everyone's going to be super chill about that. [ laugh

. >> announcer: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight, tessa thompson, mark rober and mrbeast, and music from lainey wilson, and now, jimmy kimmel! >> jimmy: hello. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. i hope you had a happy halloween. we did something fun. we took the kids trick-or-treating. ever do this? and i had a revelation. if your kids don't say "thank you" when they get candy, you did a bad job. that's how you know. my dad was at the house yesterday. we had an interesting conversation. my father grew up in brooklyn. i was getting the kids ready. i was painting my daughter's face, and he said, "i miss what we used to do on halloween." i said, "what did you do?" he said, "we would go across the street to the apartment complex. ring the bells. you'd fill up your sack with cady. then we'd go out in the street and hit each other over the head with socks filled with chalk." what? you'd hit each other with socks filled with chalk? "yeah." why? to leave a chalk mark? "yeah, they were black socks. you were

. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- ryan reynolds -- "science bob" pflugfelder -- and music from ryan hurd and maren morris. and now, jimmy kimmel! >> jimmy: hello. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you. that's very kind, i appreciate it. i'm jimmy kimmel, i'm the host. thank you for watching. thank you for coming. tonight is a big night for country music here on abc. the cma awards. you picked a good night to stay up. we've got ryan reynolds, science bob pflugfelder, and music from ryan hurd and maren morris. the real ones. the ones you saw at the cmas tonight in nashville were clones. the real ones are with us. [ laughter ] one cool thing about the cma awards is you can watch without any fear that kanye is gonna interrupt an acceptance speech. [ laughter ] odds are very low. country music, for the most part, either you're in or you're out. it's the most popular genre of music in the country. here in l.a. for years, we didn't even have a country music radio stat

dan: have a g >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- benedict cumberbatch -- kevin garnett -- and rob riggle -- and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: well, thanks. hi, everyone. thank you, thank you, thank you. i appreciate it. wow, it's very nice. welcome. thank you. hi, everybody. well, i appreciate it. i'm jimmy, i'm the host. thanks for watching and thanks for coming. it is veterans day here in the united states. the day on which we honor the men and women who served and fought in wars to defend our country so the rest of us can fight on facebook. [ laughter ] we thank them for their sacrifice. one of our writers here at the show has a brother who is stationed overseas, in germany. he's a lieutenant colonel in the army. his wife had a baby girl last week, which is exciting, congratulations to them. [ cheers and applause ] he's an american citizen on a military base. he had to report the birth of his daughter to the u.s. embassy in germany. and when he went to the website, this is what he found -- on

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that's hollywood for you right there. probably chasing the guy who took his shirt or something. [ laughter ] back to the thing. we had some solid responses. one of them is correct. what is this thing? a neti pot, a magic trick thing, an enema, or a bong? of course, everyone says "bong." and the answer is? >> you're absolutely right, it's an antique neti pot. >> i was thinking, where could that possibly go? >> jimmy: it goes in your ear? in your nose? all right. let's see what we have next. >> what is this thing? >> that's like a soap dispenser. >> a urine sample. >> maybe a jell-o shot injector? >> date rape drug. what the hell? i mean, it's a little syringe, you know, you just walk by somebody's drink, that's why i take my drink with me everywhere i go because of this [ bleep ] right here, thank you. >> jimmy: all right, okay, interesting. what do you think? soap dispenser, urine sample, jell-o shot injector, date rape drug? soap soap dispenser? >> it's anti-wrinkle eye creek. >> probably [ bleep ] your face up, it's ora

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[inspirational music] >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- halle berry. elle fanning. and music from little simz. and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thanks. great. ip appreciate that. hi, everyone. how are you doing? i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thanks for braving the heat to be here tonight. it was -- it was almost -- here in l.a. it was almost 100 degrees this weekend. crazy, right guillermo? >> guillermo: very crazy. >> jimmy: and while a lot of people might chalk it up to global warming, i can't help but feel that all the hot excitement had something to do with britney spears finally being freed from her father's clutches. [ cheers and applause ] is it just me, or does it feel like britney's been freed three times already this year? [ laughter ] how free does one person need to be? donald trump is also free for the time being. where is that case in new york already? wasn't he supposed to be like in jail like eight months ago? [ cheers and applause ] get to work on that. it would seem that there

. >> announcer: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- sandra bullock. bill burr. and music from lizzy mcalpine. and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hello, i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for joining us in southern california, where something pretty crazy happened not too far south of us on interstate 5 friday. an armored truck was full of money, somehow the door swung open while it was on the highway. and money started pouring out onto the road. this was the scene in carlsbad. it was a literal money grab. people were pulling over. how the door to an armored truck flies open, i do not know. the drivers had to be high, right? these police got hand cuffed. but for most of these people, it was the greatest thing ever. look at the celebrations! but it's a federal crime to take it. all those people who posted videos with the money are wanted by the police. it's illegal to pick up litter now? seems to me, if there's loose cash all over the road that falls under the finders-keepers clause of the constitution, rig

. >> >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- nick offerman. aunjanue ellis. and music from alessia cara. and now -- jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, thank you. hi, everyone. thanks. gentlemen. guillermo. hi, i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thanks for watching. thank you for joining us on a night when things are literally looking up. if you are watching this show on tv right now, you might be missing a once-in-a-lifetime event. the lengthiest partial lunar eclipse in almost 600 years is happening at this moment. but you don't have to run out immediately, because it's three hours and 28 minutes long. longer than the movie "dune." by an hour. [ laughter ] so you can go out, and take a bunch of blurry pictures you'll never look at after the show. when the sun, the earth, and a full moon line up, it's called, i learned this today, a syzygy. which is a term that was first coined when a cat walked across an astronomer's keyboard. [ laughter ] i tell you something, if jfk doesn't come back tonight, he's not coming ever, right? [ che

right >> dicky: from hollywood, it's “jimmy kimmel live”! tonight -- tom hanks, and june diane raphael. and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thanks. thank you guys for coming. that's very nice, thank you. i appreciate that. i'm jimmy. i'm the host. thanks for watching. thanks for coming. please, relax, we have a lot to get to tonight. it's election day. a guy cried about his jacket on "the bachelorette." we have a lot of important news today. [ laughter ] we'll get to all of it. but first i want to take a moment to share something that has me a little bit disturbed and certainly puzzled. the story goes like this. one of our producers, let's call her maggie, because that's her name, maggie. [ laughter ] let's call her that. maggie was at a wedding in greenwich, connecticut, over the weekend. she was staying at a hyatt regency hotel and it was friday night. she got back from the rehearsal dinner and turned on our show. which, by the way, maggie, i appreciate. [ laughter ] she tuned into the local abc affiliate on the ca

>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- gwyneth paltrow, kal penn, and music from hardy. and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you. hi, everybody. thank you, thank you, thank you. that's great. i appreciate that, thanks. welcome, hi. thank you very much. thank you, guillermo. hi, i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. [ cheers and applause ] thanks for watching at home. wow, quite a difference, right? tell you what. we have almost a whole audience. we have been bumped up from 50 to 75% capacity. [ cheers and applause ] that's you guys. i've been told that all 125 members of our studio audience are tested, vaccinated and sexually aroused. is that the case? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i appreciate it. i love that you had an extra hour of sleep last night, theoretically. did you get an extra hour? >> guillermo: yeah, everybody did. >> jimmy: you did? i didn't, not me. [ laughter ] i did not enjoy an extra hour of sleep because i have a 4-year-old maniac living at my house who love

>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- michael keaton. john wilson. and music from the war on drugs. and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi. thank you, thank you. hi, everybody. hi. welcome. mu muchos gracias. very nice. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for all the clapping. by the way, thank you for joining us on national unfriend day. national unfriend day, or "nud" for short is an occasion that i concocted 11 years ago. it is a day on which i urge americans to purge. to remove those randos on facebook who are not your "friends." [ laughter ] of course, this was before arguments over vaccines and donald trump removed our friends for us. [ laughter ] it was a simpler time. here's a good way to tell if you shouldn't still be facebook friends with someone -- if they are still on facebook, that's it, really. [ laughter ] [ applause ] happy nud. i will say this. your only real friends are your dogs anyway. this is an invention that i'm not sure how to feel about. a professor in glasgow has de

ama: >> dicky: from hollywood it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- jon bernthal, the bachelorette michelle young, and music from parker mccollum. and now - jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, everyone. thank you. oh, it's very nice. thank you. hi, everybody. that's very fine, i appreciate it. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thanks for watching. thanks for coming. i'm glad you're here. jon bernthal and michelle, the bachelorette, are with us tonight on "bachelorette" night here in the usa. are you watching "the bachelorette" this season? [ cheers and applause ] i feel half of you are lying but that's all right. [ laughter ] we are getting a sense of what we may have to look forward to in the race for president, in 2024. why we're talking about the race for president in 2024, i have no idea. but since we are, joe biden was asked and says he expects to run again. even though he will be 82 years old. he's planning to either run for re-election or take out a reverse mortgage on the white house. [ laughter ] some democra

>> guillermo: from hollywood, it is your favorite, it is the best, it is the guillermo show and now, here is your host, guillermo! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, i'm guillermo, and this is "the guillermo show." [ cheers and applause ] please welcome my first guest. he is a handsome. he is a movie star. he is a bryan reynolds! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: wait -- ♪ >> hi. >> guillermo: how is it going? >> good, guillermo, great to see you. >> guillermo: i'm making a margarita just for you. >> jimmy: hold on, guillermo, what are you doing? >> guillermo: what does it look like? i'm doing my show, jimmy. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you have ryan reynolds on your show? >> guillermo: are you bryan reynolds? [ laughter ] >> ryan, yes. yes, i'm ryan reynolds. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: ryan, why are you there and not here on my show with gal and dwayne? >> well, you know. >> hi. >> hi, guys. >> hey, ryan. we miss you here. >> yeah. >> yeah? i miss you guys too. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, no -- i was thinking it would be fun if we had all three of you here together, you know? >