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tv   Late Night With Seth Meyers  CBS  February 17, 2016 12:37am-1:37am EST

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i'm seth meyers. this is "late night!" how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that is wonderful to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. the grammys were held last night and included a performance from the hollywood vampires, consisting of alice cooper, joe perry and johnny depp. and while they might not look like your average rock band they definitely sounded like an average rock band. [ laughter ] marco rubio is being criticized for opening his new campaign ad with the slogan "it's morning again in america," but showing stock footage images of vancouver, canada. [ laughter ] of course, he's not the only candidate forcing people to take a closer look at canada. [ laughter ] several political experts -- [ cheers and applause ] several political experts have put together a short list of who they believe president obama is considering for the supreme court nomination. meanwhile, the gop has put together their own short list.
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will he -- would he do it? according to the latest national poll, hillary clinton's lead over bernie sanders has narrowed to ten points. also narrowed, hillary clinton's eyes. [ laughter ] a new poll has found that 31% of donald trump supporters in south carolina would support a ban of homosexuals immigrating to the u.s. oh, yeah, 'cause that's what all cool gay europeans dream of -- south carolina. [ laughter ] we made it! [ applause ] cnn has released an article comparing the republican candidates to used cars, which likened john kasich to a family-friendly minivan. and here are some of the other candidates. ben carson is a prius. you can hardly hear it running. [ laughter ] ted cruz is a gremlin. jeb bush -- and of course, donald trump.
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[ laughter ] [ applause ] the townhouse next door to famous director woody allen is on the real estate market for $27 million, but i'd be surprised if it went for anything over 18. [ laughter ] [ audience oohs ] seems like you're on the fence. [ laughter ] and finally, nerf has come out with a new toy gun that can shoot foam darts up to 68 miles per hour. and when you're done playing with it, you can play pirates. [ laughter ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a fantastic show for you tonight! [ cheers and applause ] he's one of the stars of the abc comedy "black-ish," anthony anderson is in the house tonight. [ cheers ] she's the star of the new film "jack of the red hearts." famke janssen is in the house tohight. [ cheers ] also we have music -- you're gonna recognize her from sitting in on guitar with the 8g band. tonight, she's here to perform for us. eleanor friedberger is here.
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i can't wait for that. but before we get to all that business, republican front-runner donald trump has opened up a new line of attack in the gop primary over the legacy of president george w. bush, specifically as it relates to the iraq war and 9/11. for more on this, it's time for "a closer look." [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: so for years it's been taken as an article of faith among republicans that george w. bush kept us safe after 9/11 and that despite bush's mistakes in iraq, the chaos that's taken hold there since 2008 is actually president obama's fault. but then, at the gop debate on saturday donald trump said this. >> obviously the war in iraq was a big, fat mistake, all right? george bush made a mistake. we can make mistakes, but that one was a beauty. we should have never been in iraq. we have destabilized the middle east. there were no weapons of mass destruction. [ booing ] >> okay. all right. >> seth: look how angry trump is. his skin is so red it looks like
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[ laughter ] but this is truly stunning. critics of the iraq war have been saying for years that george w. bush misled the nation into the rush to war. but for the republican party's own frontrunner to make that case, it's a big deal. but that wasn't even trump's biggest violation of republican orthodoxy, because this happened next. >> while donald trump was building a reality tv show, my brother was building a security apparatus to keep us safe, and i'm proud of what he did. [ cheering ] and he's had the gall to go after -- >> the world trade center came down during your brother's reign. remember that. [ booing ] >> hold on, let me finish. >> seth: that's right. after months of trump making racist comments at republican debates, he finally got booed for saying george w. bush was president on 9/11. you can't do that at a republican debate. that's one of those things, everyone knows is true, but no one is allowed to say out loud. like how you're not allowed to say that when your hot cousin was studying abroad she was
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[ laughter ] but yesterday jeb responded to trump's attacks with a slam of his own. >> some of the dialogue back and forth made me wonder. i closed my eyes and i thought it was michael moore on the stage. >> seth: "also when i closed my eyes i pretended i wasn't running for president anymore. [ light laughter ] i was back home in florida where no one ever tweets mean things about me and hurts my feelings." [ light laughter ] but trump was not backing down. and in a press conference on monday he went even harder at george w. bush, lambasting him for his management of the iraq war. >> shouldn't have been there, shouldn't have gotten out the way we got out. but if the president went to the beach, we would have been better off, believe me. saddam hussein was a bad guy. but one thing about him, he killed terrorists. now iraq is harvard for terrorism. >> seth: iraq harvard. that's ridiculous. both bushes went there. it's definitely yale. [ light laughter ] but of course, even when trump is right he finds a way to be wrong. because trump has been claiming for months during this campaign
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when it first started in 2003, not just later when the war turned out to be a disaster. yet independent fact checkers have been able to find no evidence trump was ever critical of the war before it began. in fact, he was confronted about it sunday on "meet the press." >> none of us have been able to find any instance where, before the invasion, you came out against this war. why is that? >> well, i did it in 2003. i said it before then. don't forget, i wasn't a politician. >> seth: i'm sorry, you guys. i'm just remembering back when he wasn't a politician. [ light laughter ] those were the good old days. [ laughter and applause ] what's amazing about this entire episode is that no one knows how republican voters will react to trump's attack. in general, the war remains very unpopular with 59% of americans and even 44% of republicans saying it wasn't worth it. still george w. bush remains personally well-liked by republican primary voters. so just how shocked was the gop establishment at trump's attack? well, one gop consultant told politico yesterday, quote,
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political strategies suggests that trump's decision to attack george w. bush will backfire, and if it doesn't backfire, then it will be official -- nothing can stop him." it will stop him! or it won't. and then nothing will, or maybe not. i don't know, just stop asking me questions about him! [ light laughter ] so far there's no evidence that the attacks on the bush legacy are hurting trump. one south carolina voter told msnbc he agreed with jeb, but was still leaning towards trump, adding, "if jeb had told him to [ bleep ] off he'd get my vote." [ laughter ] i know you think you want to hear jeb say that, but he wouldn't be good at it. you'd see him working up the nerve, but then he'd lose confidence halfway and bail. like, "hey, man! [ quietly ] [ bleep ] off." [ laughter ] "what did you say?" [ very quietly ] "[ bleep ] off." [ laughter ] so it's a jeb-trump fight in the spotlight and the stage was set for george w. bush himself to enter the fray. bush joined his brother jeb in south carolina monday, his first campaign appearance in years, and he took a shot at trump, george w. style.
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name-calling going on, but i want to remind you what our good dad told me one time. labels are for soup cans. [ laughter ] >> seth: what? what was happening when your dad said "labels are for soup cans?" [ laughter ] were you tormenting jeb with a labelmaker? [ laughter ] that wasn't the only blast from the past yesterday because there was another member of the bush administration who crawled out of the woodwork to slam trump, and if you suddenly feel a cold wind blowing through you, you didn't leave the window open. dick cheney is back. >> donald trump accused president bush and his team of purposely lying the country into war in iraq, saying, "i will tell you they lied. they said there were weapons of mass destruction, there were none. they knew there were none." your response? >> um -- he sounds like a liberal democrat to me, brett. >> seth: finally, someone who's not afraid to snarl back at trump. remember, cheney's always gonna have the upper hand.
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someone and get away with it. cheney did it. [ laughter ] so it will be interesting to see how gop voters respond to this debate over the bush legacy, but trump hasn't only been critical of bush's handling of the iraq war, he also has his own well-thought out plan for fighting terrorism. >> i would bomb the [ bleep ] out of 'em. [ laughter ] >> seth: oh, my god. every plan is terrible. this has been "a closer look." [ applause ] we'll be right back with more "late night." [ cheers and applause ] life as spokesbox is great. people love me for saving them over half a grand when they switch to progressive. so i'm dabbling in new ventures. it was board-game night with the dalai lama. great guy. terrible player. go paperless don't stress, girl i got the discounts that you need it's a balancing act, but i got to give the people what they want --
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[ cheers and applause ] seth: welcome back, everybody. please give it up for the 8g band. [ cheers and applause ] also back with us on drums tonight, fred armisen is in the house. thank you for being here, fred. >> fred: thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: you can check out fred, "portlandia" season six is airing right now on ifc and he's also very funny in the movie "zoolander 2." always such a pleasure to have fred here. not just because he's my friend, but also we talk backstage and one of my complaints about television right now, is there's too much good tv. there are too many shows. i can't keep up. fred on the other hand tells me every day that he does not have that problem because he watches [ laughter ] true? >> fred: it's very true. >> seth: okay. that means it's time once again for fred armisen's extremely
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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: okay. so this is to prove you know every show on television, fred. i'm gonna give you the title of a show and you're gonna tell me what it's about. all right? >> fred: okay. >> seth: okay, "colony" on usa. >> fred: oh, "colony." so this a really -- it's a really funny show. >> seth: okay. >> fred: it's like a crazy, crazy -- it's this comedy. >> seth: okay. i got that from it's a really funny show. >> fred: yeah, it's really -- really, really funny. it's so funny. it's just like -- >> seth: okay. >> fred: i mean, have you seen it? >> seth: no. >> fred: oh, there's a lot of inside jokes. a lot of inside jokes have -- >> seth: for people who've seen other episodes? >> fred: well, from the book. the colony book? [ laughter ] and they're like -- it's, like, comic, you know? did you ever read "colony?" >> seth: what, no. again, i can't stress enough, i don't know anything about "colony." >> fred: oh, so it's really funny. and so the characters on there -- they're just -- like it's crazy. so there's -- [ laughter ] you know froo-froo. there's big mikey.
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>> fred: don. the wizard twins. [ laughter ] dr. maclenon. it's so funny and they're just like, they just run around. i mean, it's a lot of inside jokes. they're like there's -- they have these raisins and they're throwing raisins. you wouldn't understand the joke. [ light laughter ] you don't get it but, they throw these raisins around and like finally, they sort of like, the doctor comes out and he's like, you guys have to stop wasting raisins. it's food. and the joke is, like, well we're not eating them. [ laughter ] you have to read the comic book. that's all i have to say. >> seth: so, basically there's no point in watching the show if you haven't read all the comic books leading up to it? >> fred: you should read the comic books. >> seth: okay, how many comic books -- how many "colony" comic books are there? >> fred: oh, it's been around since the '50s. [ laughter ] oh, what it is? what's the number? the -- i don't, 50? 50? does anyone know? [ laughter ] >> seth: are you asking the audience? >> fred: yeah, yeah. no one? >> seth: all right fred, i'm sorry to do this, but i'm gonna read the description according to tv guide for "colony." >> fred: okay. >> seth: set in the future, a mysterious totalitarian
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la and imprisoned the citizens within giant metallic walls. >> fred: so funny. so funny. yeah. [ laughter ] >> seth: it does -- it does go on to say that the citizens' names are froo- froo, big mikey -- >> fred: yeah. >> seth: don, and dr. mcclendon. [ laughter ] >> fred: good. good. >> seth: thank you so much, everybody. give it up for fred. >> fred: thank you. thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: now, i'm not sure if you guys are familiar with these dog shaming websites. the way it works is people take a picture of their dog looking guilty next to a little sign that says what the dog did. here's an example. i like to hide tennis balls around the house. pretty cute. right? here's another one. i eat my daddy's wooden furniture. adorable. these are all minor offenses. after searching on the internet we found some websites featuring dogs that have done much, much worse things. we'd like to show them to you now in a segment we call "extreme dog shaming." [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: extreme, indeed. so let's take a look at our first dog. this guy's adorable. can't imagine he'd do anything too bad.
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[ laughter ] the worst. everybody hates that. bad dog. who do we have next? awe, he looks pretty cute. i was in charge of adele's audio at the grammys. [ laughter ] you gotta double-check that. it's, like the most important. who do we have next? oh, i like this guy. i'm a bartender, but i insist on being called a mixologist. [ laughter ] bad dog. get over yourself. bad dog. who do we have next? what an adorable little puppers. i don't think the oscars are white enough. [ laughter ] bad dog. who's next? oh! she's an adorable little cutie. once there is a cure for the zika virus i plan to buy it and jack up the price 5,000%. [ laughter ] bad dog! who do we have next? oh a collie. i love a collie. kitty fell down the well. oh, my god. [ laughter ] that's not bad. thank you so much for warning us. oh wait. no, i'm sorry, there's more. i pushed him. oh!
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bad dog. who's up next? oh, what a good little dude. what could he have done? at weddings i flirt with the bride a little just to see where her head's at. [ laughter ] i like your style. bad dog. [ laughter ] who do we have next? oh, big guy. i love a big old dog. unlike the bear from the revenant, when i maul a guy in the woods i get the job done. [ light laughter ] bad dog. cinephial dog. who do we have next? oh, that's all i can say. what could he have done? bill cosby, innocent! [ laughter ] that was a repeat from kanye's dog. who's next? this is a perfect little pooch. for valentine's day i put a bow on my dick and said "you're welcome." [ laughter and applause ]
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[ laughter ] who do we have next? oh, wait a minute, this is my dog frisbee. frisbee what did you do? every night i wonder, seriously, who got seth's wife pregnant? [ laughter ] frisbee! that was extreme dog shaming. we'll be right back with
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folks, you can't make this stuff up. four bandits chose a prius as their getaway car. bravo-niner, in pursuit of a toyota prius. over. how hard is it to catch a prius? over. this thing is actually pretty fast. over. very funny. oh look, a farmer's market. we should get some flowers for the car. yeah! holly!
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sfx: cell phone vibrates. yeah? (sigh) you're okay... he's okay, he made it! jason.. what do you mean? we were very bad boys. alexa what's in the news? alexa: here's the news, "alecbaldwin and jason schwartzman were seen mooning paparazzi.baldwin threw his shoe at photographers before making arun for it". my poor cashmere socks... alexa, will you order another pair of brescianis. reordering bresciani socks. okay listen... can you send some lawyers or something? (moaning)
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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: our first guest tonight is an emmy-nominated actor and comedian, who stars in the popular family comedy series, "black-ish." new episodes air wednesday night on abc. let's take a look. >> what's going on? >> they're about to announce the verdict of the police brutality trial. >> oh, i think i've heard about that. >> what do you mean you think you heard about that? it's been all over the news. >> it's the one where they shot the kid in the middle of the street, right? >> unh-unh! that was chicago. >> oh, is this the guy that got shot in front of the college at the traffic stop? >> no, that was charleston. >> no, charleston was the unarmed guy who got shot in the back. sinsey was the traffic stop. >> whoa, whoa, wait.
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who was selling cigarettes that got choked. >> cigarettes! >> yeah, this is the unarmed guy who was selling dvd's that got tased 37 times. >> wow, is he okay? >> he got tased 37 times so, you know, he's not great. [ laughter ] >> seth: please welcome to the show, anthony anderson. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: very nice to see you, my friend. >> very nice to see you. >> seth: this is very exciting. i had jason sudeikis on last night. >> yes. >> seth: he was your teammate. >> yeah. >> seth: in at the nbc -- nba celebrity all-star game. >> i love how you slipped nbc in on that. >> seth: yeah, i wanted to get -- nbc -- only here on espn. but you got to play in the all-star game. how did you play? >> if that's what you want to call what i did. >> seth: i'm glad you brought that up because we actually have a clip of something you did, and i was very impressed because this, to me, is strategy.
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they just want to play their skills. you -- explain what you did real quick. you didn't wait to get called into the game. >> no, no, i checked myself in the game -- [ laughter ] during the game -- >> seth: during the game. >> as the play was being drawn -- as the opposing team was running the play, i just decided to check in just hop out on the court. >> seth: and it's very important to know that when you checked in, no one checked out. >> no one checked out, no. >> seth: let's take a look because i was very impressed with this. all right, there you go. you run in -- [ laughter ] all right. you steal it. >> look at that! look at that! look at that! that is the flowest breakaway ever! [ laughter ] and i score. [ cheers ] there you go! >> seth: and then you just go back to your seat. that's awesome! [ laughter ] >> seth: well done. the -- >> the only bucket i scored in that game. >> seth: was that the only -- and sudeikis had a big game. >> you know what, man? we call him "white curry." >> seth: white curry? >> yeah, white curry. that's sudeikis' new nickname. >> seth: because he's the steph curry of white people.
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>> he was raining threes all day. >> seth: yeah, it was really exciting. >> we had a great time. we had a great time. >> seth: now i have another sports question for you. >> talk to me. >> seth: sam jackson was on the show. >> yes. >> seth: sam jackson got into a little twitter beef with donald trump. donald trump claimed that he had never golfed with sam jackson. he wrote, "i don't know samuel l. jackson to the best of my -- there you go. "to the best of my knowledge. i haven't played golf with him and think he does too many tv commercials. boring, not a fan." you came -- you came to the defense of sam jackson immediately. donald trump. you played golf with we also had lunch together, shrimp and hot dogs. sound familiar?" [ laughter ] >> seth: so, you did -- the three of you golfed together? >> we golfed together at trump's course in bedminster, and had a great time. >> seth: yeah. >> i don't understand how somebody can say they do not -- they're not a fan of sam jackson? fan of sam jackson? >> how can you not be a fan of samuel l. jackson? >> seth: and wanna run this country? >> exactly. [ light laughter ]
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russia and not like sam jackson. >> but not the president of the united states of america. >> seth: how was it golfing with trump? >> you know what? trump is a great golfer. >> seth: mm-hmm. >> i'm not gonna say trump cheats, okay. his caddy cheats for him. [ laughter ] >> seth: okay. >> all right. but if you own the golf course, i guess, you know, that's a prerequisite. you gonna cheat and make sure the boss always has great lines. >> seth: how -- did you notice the cheating happening? >> oh, yes. several times. >> seth: okay. >> yeah, several times. >> i hit -- miss hit a ball. it hooked a little left about 20 yards. trump hit the exact same shot but went 20 yards further left than mine. i could not find my ball in this trash. trump's ball had the fluffiest lie in the middle of the fairway. [ laughter ] >> seth: it somehow bounced down? >> yeah, but like i say, i didn't see trump cheat 'cause he was on the tee box with me, but his ball was right there in the middle of the fairway. >> seth: i like his style. >> yeah, so do i. i'm not mad at him. >> seth: now, one of the things, -- obviously, he's running for president. i'm gonna guess despite his golf
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have you decided who you're gonna vote for? >> i have not. i know who i'm not gonna vote for. >> seth: who's that? >> the black guy. [ laughter ] >> seth: okay, you're not gonna vor for dr. ben carson? >> yeah, yeah, i mean, you know, 'cause a lot of people said, you know, "i and, uh, a lot of the people in the african-american community only voted for barack obama because he was black." >> seth: right. >> that theory does not hold any weight because i don't know any negro that's voting for ben carson. [ laughter ] i mean, his wife isn't even voting for him. i saw her with a go hilary button on the other day. >> seth: that's not a good sign. >> yeah, no. >> seth: now you -- another thing that -- you know coming up obviously soon, is the oscars. >> yes. >> seth: and you have had some criticisms of the diversity issue in the oscars. >> yeah. >> seth: i think rightfully so. >> a little bit. >> seth: but you're also concerned about over course corrections going into next year as well? >> i don't want the oscars to start giving awards out of guilt for what they did this year and last year, you know? i would hate to see, you know,
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[ laughter ] >> seth: right. >> you know, we don't want that >> seth: that wouldn't fix the problem. >> that wouldn't fix it, no. kevin hart in lieu of an oscar, same size. [ laughter ] they are the same size. >> seth: that's an actual size. >> yeah. [ applause ] >> seth: now i want to talk about "black-ish," which is such a fantastic show. and as we can see from the clip, one of the things you guys do is you address real issues. you know, earlier in the season -- your season premiere, this year was about use the n-word. >> yes. >> seth: and then we see, there clip -- you know, actually a funny clip about police brutality, which isn't necessarily -- or of course, not all a funny issue. like, how do you guys approach doing this issue-based comedy and still making it light enough to sort of be a family show? >> well, you know, we always prided ourselves on, you know, being timely and topical about the things that are happening in our community. these are issues that we wanted to tackle first season, but we looked at it as low-hanging fruit. we wanted to establish the
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point of view and in particular, my character, andre johnson's, point of view. so, when we did tackle these issues, you saw where he was coming from. you know, like many other black youth in the community, i was a victim of police brutality. so, you know, we're not just ripping this from the headlines, you know? we are speaking from personal experience, as well. and, you know, it's also -- you know, you can get your point across with a teaspoon of sugar better than you can with a teaspoon of salt. and so, we find those comedic elements to add to it and add some levity to it, but, you know, it is a serious topic. >> seth: now, you are a father in real life as well? you have kids? >> yes. >> seth: now, you're in a family comedy. is there ever anything in the show that you take from your real life, and then, does that make your children upset? >> a lot -- a lot of the first season was taking from my life my partner, miss kenya barris. it's loosely -- i shouldn't say loosely. with our family and our children and our wives. i had to clear up one episode
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it was the sex talk episode when my son was caught masturbating by his mother. >> seth: on the show? >> on the show. and you know, a lot of people know that the show is about our family and my children. they say like, "ah, my son's name is nate. that's cold-blooded, nate. your mama caught you." [ laughter ] so, i had to come out and publically say, "that was not a particular incident in the household. that was actually me as a child being caught by my mother, masturbating." >> seth: oh, no. [ laughter ] >> yeah, but -- >> seth: was that cathartic? >> it was cathartic. i had to put it out there and put it off on my son. so, i'm pointing this up again. that was not my son who did, it was me. >> seth: i want you to give you a chance to clear something else up because you were on "law & order," a show that i still watch constantly. >> yes, okay. >> seth: always wonderful to see you on it, and for years, you -- you blamed your co-star for something -- >> i know where you're going with this. >> seth: please tell the story because s. epatha merkerson, just a fantastic actress. >> yes, okay. so everybody at home and in the
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epatha merkerson, myself, and jeremy sisco in a scene. and i don't know what i had for lunch that day, but i had the bubble guts. [ laughter ] and i was holding it in and this entire scene, it was like a five-minute scene, and i held it in. and as i left the room, i left something in the room. [ laughter ] >> seth: yep. >> right? >> seth: all been there. >> and jeremy sisco was coming in to do his part of the scene. this was all on camera, and you could see -- [ laughter ] s. epatha merkerson -- just see and it started to just burn! [ laughter ] and she was, like, "wait a minute! wait a minute! cut! which one of you all mother [ bleep ] farted?" [ laughter ] "that is some nasty [ bleep ]!" which one of you mother [ bleep ] did this!" so, s. epatha merkerson, jeremy cisco, i would like to apologize to you both. one, epatha, for letting that go in the scene. and jeremy, for allowing you to
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[ laughter ] so -- >> seth: he was a stand-up partner. >> he was a stand-up partner. he did not snitch. he did not snitch, but he couldn't -- he didn't know it was me. we had other cameramen around. it could have been a cameraman. >> seth: that's true. and you don't wanna blame the crew for that. >> no, you don't wanna blame the crew. so nobody said anything, but it was me. [ laughter ] >> seth: you're a big man for doing that. that's very kind of you. give it up for anthony anderson, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] "black-ish" airs wednesday nights on abc.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everybody. you know our next guest from her work in the "x-men" franchise hit show, "hemlock grove." her new film, "jack of the red hearts" opens in select theaters on february 26th. let's take a look. [ whining ] >> hey! >> are you okay? [ whining ] >> what happened? what happened? >> where is -- >> i don't know. >> what, um? >> the tube stick. remember? we went over this. she needs something to chew on while we're getting her dressed. okay. sweetie, there you go. good girl. good girl. we went over this. panties, undershirt, then pants, then shirt. don't ask me why the order matters, but it does. okay? >> all right. i'm sorry. >> all right. that's a good girl. what are we gonna do now? >> seth: please welcome to the show, famke janssen.
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>> thank you. >> seth: how are you? >> i'm great, how are you? >> seth: so wonderful to have you here. >> thank you for having me. >> seth: so, i want to start by asking you this. you are dutch? >> i am dutch. >> seth: and you're from amsterdam, yes? >> mm-hmm. >> seth: i lived there for a couple of years, and i wanted to ask someone who is a celebrity from there, it seems like the dutch have a completely different relationship with celebrity than in america. they don't seem as into it. >> at all. i don't come from a culture where celebrity is somehow put on a pedestal. so, when they see somebody, they say, "okay, look over there. it's seth meyers, but pretend you don't know who he is." >> seth: yeah. >> it's that kind of stuff. >> seth: absolutely, but it even goes so far as to like, "i might even walk by and make a big deal of not noticing him to, like, really bring him back down to size." >> oh, yeah, yeah. you want to make sure because you don't -- you can't be that special. >> seth: now, even this is even true of a dutch celebrity who, like, comes to the states and has a career. like, when you go back -- >> they don't discriminate. >> seth: yeah, they're just not into anybody. >> you're just not into anybody because you just have to be normal like everybody else. you don't get any -- >> seth: they're like, "yeah. i drive a truck, and that is also a job." [ laughter ]
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>> seth: yeah, sorry i shouldn't have done dutch. >> yeah, i was gonna ask you, do you -- seth: dutch person sort of speak like this? i shouldn't do it in front of dutch person. >> no, not at all. [ laughter ] i hope i don't sound like that. >> seth: meanwhile, here, you're doing an excellent american accent, and i'm butchering you. >> well, 87% of dutch people apparently speak english. >> seth: i believe that. >> i just learned that fact. >> seth: and i will tell this, the other thing i found out is -- because i tried, and i did not succeed. when i tried to learn a little bit of dutch -- like, even when you go and try to, like, order something -- >> yes. >> seth: they can immediately clock that you speak english, and they just switch. because they're, like, "don't, please don't butcher our language." [ light laughter ] >> right, don't do it. >> seth: yeah, "you sound awful doing it." >> can you say anything in dutch at all? [ speaking foreign language ] [ laughter ] >> seth: that wasn't bad. >> no wonder. [ laughter ] pizza is what you want. coffee? >> seth: yeah, that was me ordering a coffee. and that was me doing it sexy. [ laughter ] >> oh, that was sexy? oh, you got me. >> seth: so, you came straight from amsterdam to new york, right? >> i did.
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that happened. mean, i wasn't that young, but i was probably 20 years old or something, but i was very naive. >> seth: and were you scared of >> i was very scared of new york american movies, and they tend to be on the violent side. so when i first came to new york, i -- it turned out i stayed in the most fancy part of new york, but i had no idea. i was so scared -- >> seth: where were you? >> that was on the upper east side. >> seth: okay. >> the fanciest hotel you can possibly imagine. i was a model. so of course i'm gonna put you up at some great place. i didn't know. i just was petrified to leave my hotel thinking everybody is going be out there shooting guns and whatever. >> seth: yes. >> it's gonna be al pacino and robert de niro >> seth: exactly. it's the whole mugger industry. >> exactly. so i finally get up the courage. i go outside and whenever somebody reached into their pocket, i'm, like, "oh, no! it's happening!" [ laughter ] >> seth: oh, my god. all of the muggers look like old jewish ladies. it's terrifying. >> right. yeah. >> seth: and have you ever had any -- when you've had family
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are they worried about things? >> yeah, i think, i mean, it's just when you grow up with that culture. so, my niece actually came to visit one summer to my then-boyfriend who lived in l.a., and she was staying at the house and she was home alone one night. and she was on the phone with her boyfriend who is an ex-marine. and she said "oh, my god. i hear something, and it's coming from upstairs and there's nobody in the house." and he goes, "get under the bed now!" so he must have watched "taken" probably a few times. [ laughter ] >> seth: "taken" is an ex-marine training video, yes. >> exaclty. all three of them. so she goes under the bed, and he goes, "i'm gonna call 911." so he calls 911, loops her into the call. and they go, "what's your emergency?" and she's saying, "well, there's somebody in the house and they're upstairs. and she goes, "okay, where are you now?" and she goes, "under the bed." she goes, "oh, okay. stay there. are there guns in the house?" and she goes, "i don't think so." she goes, "good, because they can be used against you, so, you know, we're gonna --" >> seth: don't give her something negative to think about when she's already under the bed. [ laughter ] >> exactly. so, she's now under the bed, on
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they're gonna knock on the door, so, you know, "do you hear the helicopters yet?" and so she now hears helicopters over the house. >> seth: police helicopters. they sent police helicopters? >> police helicopters. >> seth: oh, my goodness. >> oh, yes. so, now, the police helicopter's there they knock on the door. she runs. and the woman says, "i'll stay on the phone with you." and so now, you know, six cops are coming out with guns drawn. and they go, "okay, where is the noise?" >> seth: yeah. >> and they're going upstairs, and they kick open the door, and that's where my then-boyfriend was in his little undies. >> seth: oh, no. >> asleep, in the house. >> she heard -- >> seth: she heard a noise from >> who owened the house. >> seth: oh, that's -- >> so now, they're having, you guns drawn, going "who are you?" and he said, "i'm the owner of the house." and they go, "can you prove it?" now, he's in his little underwear. >> seth: yeah. nobody breaks into a house, strips down to their underwear, and goes to bed. [ laughter ] >> so now, she has to, you
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"did you know -- this is my niece. is this your uncle." now she has to go upstairs, and, you know, she's coming -- comes upstairs, and he's there with all of these cops with guns drawn on him. and she goes, "yes, that's my uncle." >> seth: oh, no. i feel like she went back to holland, and they said, "what was america like?" she said, "exactly what you think." [ laughter ] "it's exactly as good as the movies." >> no, it's better because then, they go downstairs, and the cop is like, "oh, wow! i like what you've done with the house with the decorations. i like the wallpaper." >> seth: at least they saw the other side of the american police force. >> exactly. >> seth: it's like -- like -- like -- architecture. >> mm-hmm. >> seth: congrats on this film. >> thank you. >> seth: this is about autism and sort of a realistic take on autism, which, i think, is important because many times in hollywood films, autism is seen as something that almost gives people powers, magical powers. >> the rainman kind of way. >> seth: exactly, the rainman, thing. was it important to you to make a film that was sort of a bit more honest about the affliction of autism? >> very much so, and it's really wonderful because the director,
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jennifer deaton, are both women who have firsthand experience with autistic children. so, they know the ins and outs of what that's like. and they've given -- it's a really honest portrayal. it's very much a family -- it's a movie about love, family and parenting. and, so, it's really not about autism. it's really just about a family falling apart. and in this case, it's a woman who comes into our lives who is an imposter because she is a pretends to be a caretaker, but she knows nothing about autistic children, let alone children. she's really a child, herself. and so, she has a really big influence on the child, ultimately. and we all become very close, and then, we find out who she is. >> seth: it's very nice that it's a film about a family as well because i feel like that is who you know -- everyone has to go through that together, so it's wonderful that you made this film. i also want to ask you, doing an arc on "how to get away with murder" with shonda rimes. >> right. >> seth: these shows are very -- you're not allowed to give away any spoilers on these things. >> no. >> seth: you can't say anything about --
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viola davis' lesbian lover, but before that, no. >> seth: you couldn't say anything? >> nothing. >> seth: and you had practice with this with "x-men"? >> oh, yes. >> seth: so, like, when you did those movies, what was harder -- >> i die in every "x-men" movie, i think. and every single time, they had to find a way to bring me back. and i couldn't tell anybody. >> seth: so obviously, because your character is dead, you couldn't say, "i'm going to shoot the new 'x-men' movie." what would you tell people? >> "i'm really not feeling well for six months." [ laughter ] "and don't call me anymore." i don't know. >> seth: who was stricter on spoilers? shonda or marvel? and who were you -- >> that's a really -- that's a tough one. i think that the only thing i've learned from this entire experience is i can keep secrets really well. very well. >> seth: that is a good thing. that is a good thing to have learned about yourself. thank you so much for being here. >> thank you so much for having me. >> seth: congratulations. famke janssen, everybody! "jack of the red hearts" will opens in theaters on february 26th. we'll be right back with music from eleanor friedberger.
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okay, what is this? it's chewy. really icy. wooh. that's intense! it just hits you. its gum. no. it's totally a mint! it's disappearing as i am chewing it. where did it go? it's not a gum. not a mint. it's a breakthrough in cool. ice breakers cool blasts. it's a taste so bold, yet so smooth, it could only be called, black silk, from folgers. a taste you could enjoy, fresh brewed, or one cup at a time. black silk, from folgers. [alarm bell ringing] oh no, the car! told ya somebody should've waited in the car. it says there's a black car three minutes away! i'm not taking one of those. that one! they gave authorities the slip, in a prius. now the four most-wanted men in the world are stealing our hearts. is that us? i think that's us! public support is at a fever pitch. what started as an amateur heist is now a global phenomenon. one does have to wonder, how long can this chase go on? look, we're trending! let me see that. we're famous!
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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everybody. in support of her recently released third solo album, "new view," tonight's musical guest will kick off a north american tour this thursday at new york bowery ballroom performing "because i asked you." please welcome to the show, eleanor friedberger. [ cheers and applause ] why would you want to take it slow hold
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or treat me like a tennis pro why would you want to do that why would you want to do that why would you want to dim the light or let that record play all night or scramble yolk in with the white why would you want to do that why would you want to do that because i asked you because i asked you to why would you want to tell the truth or furnish me with mathematical proof or jump with me off of the roof why would you want to do that why would you want to do that why would you want to hold me tight talk me out of my stage fright or help with out with my rewrites why would you want to do that why would you want to do that
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because i asked you to i'll look in your eyes i am so polite think about it i'll be here all night why would you want to let me sleep or look before you cross the street into my dreams, between my sheets why would you want
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you want to do that why would you want to take it slow or tell me something i don't know and when i say so, let it go& why would you want to do that why would you want to do that because i asked you because i asked you to because i asked you because i love you i'll look in your eyes i am so polite think about it i'll
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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: eleanor friedberger folks. the album "new view" is out now. for tour dates go to
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[ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: my thanks to anthony anderson, famke janssen, eleanor friedberger, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] and of course the 8g band, fred armisen. stay tuned for "carson daly." we'll see you tomorrow!
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>> carson: welcome to "last call" from the skylark in new york city. i'm carson daly, thanks so much for joining us and staying up late. coming up tonight, unknown mortal orchestra is gonna perform from the fonda. we're gonna shine our spotlight tonight on the cast of the new comedy series called "those who can't." but we'll start things off with a former pro basketball star, espn analyst, podcast host, and the author of "gotta give the people what they want." from bar marmont this is jalen rose on "last call." >> you're a basketball player, why do you always have a bat? [ laughter ] >> what's going on with the bat, jalen? >> i carry a bat for protection, actually. it initially started when i was going back and forth with a


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