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tv   The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon  NBC  January 6, 2016 11:34pm-12:37am EST

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[ cheers and applause ] >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center in the heart of new york city, it's "the tonight show starring jimmy fallon."
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guests -- billy joel, j.k. simmons, and featuring the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: 394. >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey. oh! that's the best crowd right there. oh, my goodness. that's a great new york city crowd, right here tonight. welcome, everybody.
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thank you so much for being here. thank you for watching. here's what people are talking about. since the first primaries are about a month away, and the candidates are really starting to -- yeah. i mean, the fact that at a a rally in new hampshire, bernie sanders mocked donald trump for thinking that climate change is a hoax created by the chinese. [ laughter ] so, at this point, most people are starting to feel like trump is a hoax created by the chinese. [ laughter and applause ] that's not real. no, he's real. he's real. he's real. >> steve: wall. >> jimmy: bernie sanders gave another speech here in new york city yesterday and ended up speaking for almost an hour. we can't show you the whole speech, but we condensed it down to what bernie really wanted to say. >> [ bleep ] big banks and [ bleep ] wall street. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: simple. in and out. >> steve: in, out, boom. >> jimmy: ten seconds. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: the other big news is
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north korea announced yesterday that it has successfully carrying out it's first hydrogen bomb test. either that, or they just got their first chipotle. matter. something happened. i don't remember. i didn't read the whole article. >> steve: how is that even a a thing? >> jimmy: i didn't read the whole article. some more news from overseas. members of the british parliament are going to meet later this month to debate whether or not to ban donald trump from entering the u.k. one member of parliament said, "look, we have enough guys with ridiculous looking things on their heads making sure nobody gets over a fence. and that's right. [ laughter and applause ] you can take that to the bank. of course, we're a week into the new year. and a lot of us have new year's resolutions. even mark zuckerberg posted on facebook that one of his new year's resolutions is to run 365 miles in 2016. yeah, that's right. just had a baby and he's getting into running. so if there's ever a time to un-friend zuckerberg on facebook, it's now. [ laughter and applause ]
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congratulations." "i just ran a 5k, dedicated to my baby girl." [ laughter ] there are reports that twitter is going to increase its character limit from 140 characters to 10,000 characters. you hear that? [ audience boos ] they said they've already been testing it out on the internet. i gotta say, i really don't know if people should be writing longer tweets. let's look at some examples here. this first one says -- with the 140 character limit, this person tweeted, "can't wait to try the new thai restaurant that opened in my neighborhood. #excited." with the 10,000 character limit, the same person tweeted, "can't wait to try the new thai restaurant that opened in my neighborhood. i've never been to thailand. i've never been to a hockey [ laughter ] my cousin got hit in the hair with a puck once. almost hit his head, but just hit his hair. close call. #excited." [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: too much. >> jimmy: take a look at this one here. with the 140 character limit, the person tweeted, "help,
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morning, so comfortable, #lol." with the 10,000 character limit, that same person tweeted, "help, can't get out of bed this morning, so comfortable. it's because my pillow is goose down. i never got into a pillow fight, or a food fight. my cousin got into a food fight once. him. it hit him in the hair. just his hair got hurt. #lol." [ applause ] you see what i'm saying? you guys want one more example? >> audience: yeah! >> steve: a lot of hair stuff! >> jimmy: you sure about that? >> audience: yeah! >> jimmy: look, here's a a 140 character limit. the person tweeted, "high temp is 18 degrees today. #wtf." with 10,000 character limit, the same person tweeted, "high temp of 18 degrees today. sure is cold. at least it's not snowing. i've never been hit by a a snowball. [ laughter ] my cousin got hit by a snowball once. some kid threw it at his head, but it hit him in the hair. #wtf." you see, the 10,000 character limit is obviously a big mistake. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: a lot of hair.
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>> jimmy: his cousin almost -- had a close call. >> steve: yeah, that's a close call when you get hit in the hair. >> jimmy: absolutely. guys, this is pretty exciting here. gem experts in sri lanka said they've discovered the biggest blue star sapphire they ever found. it's worth over $100 million. unfortunately, last night, some old lady threw it off the back of a boat. [ laughter and applause ] "he drew me like a french girl." [ laughter ] >> steve: near. far. >> jimmy: you just threw that jewelry. >> steve: i did not. >> jimmy: i didn't know what i was doing. [ laughter ] >> steve: mrs. sandler. >> jimmy: we risked our lives looking for this jewel. you could have said something. oh, i didn't know. i thought -- near far wherever you are [ applause ]
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>> steve: lunch lady! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: guys, finally, this is pretty cool here. several companies are working together to replace thousands of pay phones here in new york city with free wi-fi hotspots. [ cheers and applause ] officials say that new yorkers need a more modern, more technologically advanced thing to pee on when they're drunk. [ laughter and applause ] that's right. we have a great show tonight. [ cheers and applause ] we really do. give it up for the roots. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: get ready for some fun tonight. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: oh, it's going to be fun. it's been a great week so far. there's more ahead. he gives an incredible performance in the new movie "spotlight." did you see that one yet, higgins? >> steve: yeah, it's fantastic. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. emmy award winner mark ruffalo
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[ cheers and applause ] >> steve: lovely man. >> jimmy: also joining us tomorrow night, he's nominated 11. >> steve: 11. >> jimmy: kendrick lamar will [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: yes! >> jimmy: 11 grammy awards. we're going to talk to him and he's going to perform for us. it's gonna be fun. and on friday, we got my man >> steve: come on. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: plus, the star of netflix's "narcos," wagner moura will be dropping [ cheers and applause ] "narcos." >> steve: "narcos." yeah, and we've got great stand-up from comedian iliza shlesinger. she's gonna be here on friday night. she's always -- always crushes. guys, i'm just so excited about tonight. i mean this is good. right? you feel it? [ cheers and applause ] this guy is just fun. you feel it, you know when it's happening. it's just -- i mean. he's one of the greatest musicians of all time. i can already see the standing ovation happening now. he's a great new yorker. a great performer. billy joel is in the house tonight.
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my goodness. he's at madison square garden. he's doing this thing, every couple months. every month. i think it's four shows. every show better than the last. it's unbelievable. it's record-breaking. he's just the greatest. and tonight, he's going to perform a fun song. i should also say, we have another guest on the show. he's one of the voices in "kung fu panda 3," academy award-winner j.k. simmons is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: lovely man. lovely, lovely man. >> jimmy: was it "whiplash?" >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: he was just fantastic in that. then we're going to close out the show with a billy joel song that he's never performed on a a show ever. on television. [ cheers and applause ] yeah. but he should. he should have. >> steve: he should have. >> jimmy: he should have. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: that's good. yeah, you're going to freak out. [ light laughter ] >> questlove: what is it? i can't tell you what it is. that's because that would give away the secret of the fun.
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>> jimmy: it's a fun surprise. >> steve: yeah. fun surprise. >> jimmy: hey, guys, the nfl wild card playoff games are this weekend. are you psyched for this? [ cheers and applause ] this sunday's big matchup is between the minnesota vikings and the seattle seahawks. [ cheers and applause ] now, as you know, at the end of every season, they give out awards like most valuable player. they also give out awards during the season. they're sort of like the ones in the high school yearbooks, like most likely to succeed, class clown, stuff like that. so with that in mind, it's time for "tonight show superlatives." here we go. tonight show superlatives >> jimmy: our first player is michael bennett. he's a defensive end for the seattle seahawks. he was voted most likely to be the love child of ice cube and a sheep. [ cheers and applause ] he won that. >> steve: he won that award. >> jimmy: big deal. >> steve: not ba-ah-ad. >> jimmy: next up from the seahawks is tight end
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luke willson, he was voted most likely to disappoint men when he turns around. [ laughter and applause ] hey. how you doing? luke! you all good? that's cool. >> steve: you got a tight end. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: next up from the seahawks, marshawn lynch. >> steve: oh, yeah. [ laughter ] wait for it. >> jimmy: he was voted most likely to see the new "star wars" movie in 6d. [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: really? i did not know that. >> jimmy: they must have a a special theater. in seattle. we have -- next up, minnesota vikings' punter jeff locke. he was voted most likely to have sneezed himself into puberty. [ laughter ] >> steve: hello. >> jimmy: hello, hi. i can't take your call right now. [ laughter ] >> steve: hello, cathy? >> jimmy: mom, get out of my room. >> jimmy: next from the seahawks is starting quarterback russell wilson. he was voted most likely to
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[ laughter and applause ] >> steve: that's an award? >> jimmy: yeah. he won that. next up. oh, my man, j.r. sweezy. [ laughter ] from the seahawks. he was voted most likely to have never seen "making a a murderer", but somehow know all the details. [ laughter and applause ] next up, from the seahawks is will tukuafu. he was voted most likely to make this face when his mommy tried to spoon feed him. [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: come on. airplane goes in. >> jimmy: next up from the vikings is austin shepherd. he was voted most likely to just have felt the chipotle kick in. [ laughter and applause ] [ laughter ] >> steve: oh. >> jimmy: next, from the vikings, is linval joseph. he was voted most likely to
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a canary fly out. [ laughter and applause ] like a bird in his mouth. next up from the vikings is jason trusnik. he was voted most likely to wear a pringles can as a a helmet. [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: that can't be an award. >> jimmy: that can't be real. >> steve: does pringles sponsor that award? >> jimmy: i don't know, man. >> steve: that's crazy. >> jimmy: once you pop your helmet, you can't stop your helmet. you've got to take it off. >> steve: you've got that can on it. >> jimmy: finally, we have blair walsh from the vikings. he was voted most likely to look like every men of "one direction" combined. [ cheers and applause ] superlatives." we'll be right back with billy joel. [ cheers and applause ] sfx: rocket blasting off (ding) (dong) (ding) (ding)
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, it's happening. here we go. we are joined right now by one of the all-time greatest song writers and composers of popular music. he's an official franchise at madison square garden where his monthly shows have sold out for over two years now. wow.
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please welcome back to the show one of the best to ever do it. here's billy joel, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: come on. billy joel! they love you. that's right. that's right. oh. that's what happens -- does that happen to billy joel, if you go to a restaurant, they all stand up? a standing ovation all the time? >> no. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: well, it happened yeah, thank you so much for being here. we love you. absolutely. i'm shaking your hand, i'm hugging you. i'm very excited. you've had a great year.
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congratulations on getting married, say congratulations on your new little baby. >> yeah. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. [ cheers and applause ] how old is the little baby now? >> she'll be five months in a a couple days. >> jimmy: five months already. >> yeah. >> jimmy: that happened quickly. >> happens real fast. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. your oldest daughter, alexa. >> alexa. >> jimmy: i know she's singing and playing. she's at the carlisle. she's phenomenal. >> she just turned 30. >> jimmy: 30 years old. >> yeah, she's 30 years old. >> jimmy: it happens so quickly. are those two -- are you going to get them started in a group? [ light laughter ] you gotta start now. this is the perfect time. >> that's not a bad idea. >> jimmy: it's not a bad idea. the baby is five months. this is perfect. you can get a good harmony. are they learning harmony? are you teaching them harmony? >> alexa knows harmony from years and years of playing music. she's really talented. >> jimmy: do you guys get together and play together? >> yes, we do. every time she comes to the house, we just sit around, play the piano, and sing. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah. >> jimmy: and you know the same songs? >> no. [ light laughter ]
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stuff i don't know, but she knows a lot of old stuff that i do know. and we -- she loves to harmonize. >> jimmy: that's what i did with my dad, too. i would just get into his -- i would. [ light laughter ] the same thing. i'm going to do it with my daughters, too, because they're going to be listening to -- your 5-month-old is going to listen to like -- bleep, blorp, blee, bing, boing. [ laughter ] and that's going to be the new thing. you're like, oh, i love that song. >> she's already digging music, i can tell. >> jimmy: she is? >> yeah. but you and your dad were good together. you know a lot of harmony stuff. >> jimmy: yeah, we -- we bum rushed you at your show once at the garden. >> well, i went on late for the show because me and jimmy and his dad were just doing doo-wop backstage. [ light laughter ] and the crew is going, "you know you're supposed to be on stage now?" now, wait a minute. wait, wait, wait. >> jimmy: but that's what happens when -- my dad. he just loves doo-wop. i know you love doo-wop. so we got together. any song you mentioned, my dad knows. he's like an encyclopedia of doo-wop music. when we got here, i'm like -- i don't know how he even started -- i don't know how he got backstage, my dad. [ light laughter ]
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have a pass or anything. no, he just kind of ends up there. like, "hey, what's up, guys?" yeah. >> he was fun. >> jimmy: yeah, he started singing with you. >> i would have kept going. >> jimmy: yeah. i got to say, there's two things i want to talk about tonight. announcements. one is the billy joel channel which i love. it's coming back. you're relaunching it january >> yeah. >> jimmy: january 15th. the billy joel channel will be on sirius. i loved it last time. but it's different now this time. >> well, i'm going to be more involved. last time, i didn't get a a chance to really be on-air when they were playing stuff. i wanted to be more involved. we took a break and we're going to redo it again. it's not just gonna be me. it's going to be stuff that i like, too. >> jimmy: will you dj? will you appear on the thing, be like, "hey, it's billy joel counting down." >> it's bj the dj, coming up. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: that's right, bj the dj here. coming in at number four, we got beethoven. >> now, do you remember like, wew fm? >> jimmy: yeah.
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cousin bruce. >> cousin brucie. >> jimmy: cousin brucie. wcbs fm [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's my jam. remember, we went to a party once, and we just -- >> howard stern's house. >> jimmy: we cornered each other, or i cornered you, really. [ laughter ] i started talking about doo-wop music or something, and then -- >> there was a piano. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and there were all these famous people. and we ignored everybody and just sang. >> jimmy: yeah. >> yeah. >> jimmy: we sang for like the whole party. [ laughter ] i mean, it was so fun. >> i didn't even eat. >> jimmy: no, me, either. we kept saying, do you know this song, that song. oh, it'll be fun. then we talked about maybe showing up at this radio station, wlng. >> in sag harbor. >> jimmy: in sag harbor, new york. >> raiding them at midnight. >> jimmy: yeah. >> taking over the stage. >> jimmy: taking over the me and you. going, "what's up guys? we're going to start, i got jimmy and bj the dj, and we're [ light laughter ] >> it would be fun. let's do it. >> jimmy: let's do it. you're down?
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>> jimmy: wlng, get ready, we're going to show up. we know where the station is. [ cheers and applause ] we're going to just show up. >> we'll be there. it will be fun. >> jimmy: madison square garden. you're there tomorrow night as well. i have seen -- >> are you coming? >> jimmy: yeah, of course, i'm coming. i'm there. >> we'll do something onstage. >> jimmy: yeah? >> yeah. >> jimmy: really? [ cheers and applause ] >> yeah. >> jimmy: don't get involved. hey, quest, don't get jealous. don't get jealous. don't get jealous. we can do something fun. we'll do doo-wop now. >> whatever you want to do. we can do it all. >> jimmy: all right, i got a a night to think about this. >> okay. >> jimmy: because it's amazing. have you seen billy joel in [ cheers and applause ] this is good. if you haven't, you are in for such a treat. it's the most fun thing ever. you don't see me when i'm there, though, right? if i'm in the audience, do you? >> umm -- >> jimmy: how far do you see? >> i see about six rows back >> jimmy: good. you don't see me then because i'm in the nose bleeds. way. [ laughter ] >> any time, jimmy.
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another announcement, you're adding another show. july 20th is going to go on sale. this will be your 31st consecutive show in a row at the garden in this run at the garden. that's crazy. >> it is crazy. >> jimmy: 31 shows. >> i didn't know it was going to go this long. if there's still a ticket demand, i'm going to keep playing. >> jimmy: you won't stop. [ cheers and applause ] it's the most fun -- it's the most fun night. >> it may go on for the rest of my natural life. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: it's the most fun, and you guys are going to get a a taste of what this is all about. more with billy joel when we come back with "the tonight show," everybody.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: everybody, we're back with the one and only billy joel. there was a piano here.
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the piano. it would appear you just showed up because the piano is here. you just ended up sitting behind the piano. >> that's where i usually go to work. >> jimmy: yeah, exactly. was there a note you always pressed when sit behind a a piano? >> middle c. >> jimmy: middle c is the -- >> that's where it all starts. it's the first note you learn when you take a piano lesson. middle c. >> jimmy: i don't know -- i can't do piano stuff. but i can -- no, but you don't even want me to. i'm hosting the show and you're here. [ laughter ] oh, you know what, citi field, by the way, that was a a beautiful thing. i don't know if you guys saw the world series. the mets were in the world series and they were at citi field. [ applause ] and i guess during the eighth inning, they always play "piano man" at citi field. >> yeah, i heard that. >> jimmy: and then you go there, and you have never been -- seen it live actually happening. >> no, they were singing, and i went out. "what do i do now? they're doing it." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: "that's my thing!" yeah. >> the mets won that night,
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supposed to be a jinx. i sang two other songs at met world series games, and they lost. "billy joel's singing. they're going to lose." they actually won that night. >> jimmy: they did win that night. >> we broke the curse. >> jimmy: but i mean, everybody is singing "piano man." you don't really know what to do because that is your song. you're like, "thank you." you know how the song goes. >> yeah. kinda. of you. it's kind of a cool thing. here it is. everybody is singing. put bread in my jar and say man what are you doing here la da da di di da sing us a song you're the piano man [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's what i love. "yeah, i know the words. i got to sing along." that's a great song to sing to. >> that's strange, man. >> jimmy: i've never seen that in the world series of them just not talking, like, "they're warming up the bullpen."
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whoever didn't say a word. they just let you sing "piano man" for like -- and it was fantastic. >> it was great. >> jimmy: we were talking during the commercial. we thought of something fun, because we were going to talk, and then i said, "well, we should maybe do a song, like if we were at a party or something. [ laughter ] >> okay. >> jimmy: what song would we do? so -- rolling stones -- because we don't have to do your song, right? >> stones are great. >> jimmy: "beast of burden"? >> jimmy: in g? in g? [ cheers and applause ] i'll never be your beast of burden [ cheers and applause ] back is broad but it's hurting all i want is for you to make love to me >> you take it. [ cheers and applause ] i'll never be your beast
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i've walked for miles my feet are hurting all i want is for you to make love to me [ cheers and applause ] am i hard enough am i rough enough am i rich enough i'm not too blind to see i'll never be your beast of burden so let's go home and draw the curtains music on the radio come on baby make sweet love to me [ cheers and applause ] am i hard enough am i rough enough am i rich enough i'm not too blind to see [ cheers and applause ] you're a pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty
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pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty girl come on baby please please please [ cheers and applause ] you can put me out on the street put me out with no shoes on my feet put me out put me out put me out of misery i'll never be your beast of burden i'll never be your beast of burden never ever never ever never never never be [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: billy joel, everyone. billy joel is going to perform "scenes from an italian restaurant" to close the show tonight. you don't want to miss it. j.k. simmons joins me after the break.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how fun was that? that was so fun. i mean, come on. billy joel, once again, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] oh, i love our next guest, too. he's a golden globe and academy award-winning actor. oh, he had a great speech. he lends his voice to the new animated film "kung fu panda 3" which hits theaters nationwide january 29th. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome j.k. simmons. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: they know talent when
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they're a great audience out there. absolutely. you can't mess with them. [ cheers and applause ] >> they're going to be with you the whole year, right? >> jimmy: yeah, they're with me ev -- they've been here 31 consecutive shows in a row. it's a record-breaking thing. [ cheers ] so happy to have them. don't leave. don't leave. [ cheers and applause ] >> at some point, you're going to bring in some food. there will be some food later. >> jimmy: there will be some food later, yeah. [ cheers ] one of those tiny snack packs with crackers, and you spread the cheese on it. [ laughter ] the plastic thing. >> they eat get one? >> jimmy: let's not jump to conclusions. we'll figure it out. [ laughter ] welcome back to the show. how exciting. we got you. we got billy joel. that's all you need. >> that's like a demographic thing you're doing with bald, white guys with beards. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, no, no, no. that's next week. we're doing all bald, white guys with bears. >> i'll be back. >> jimmy: you'll be back. but i'm so happy you're here. i want to say congrats on the oscar. i am not going to say i called it, but i called it. [ cheers and applause ] it was all me.
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you were so great in "whiplash." oh, my gosh. i'm watching the academy awards, and i'm just going, "oh, my gosh." i was just so excited for you. then you won. >> did you notice i head butted lupita when i took the award? >> jimmy: no. >> you got to play that back in slow motion sometime because i went in to get the thing, and i was thinking about what am i going to say and everything. oh, i have to take the thing from her and hand shake or a a hug. i wasn't sure. so i went for the hand shake and a kiss on the cheek, and bump! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, no. >> totally head-butted lupita. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah yeah. that's good luck. you won and then, you head-butted lupita. then you went on to say this great speech, which i don't know word for word, but i remember the one part, you said, "call your mom. right now, call your mom." [ applause ] it was the best way. >> i got dad in there, too. >> jimmy: what's that? >> i got dad in there, too. too. and you said, "hey, if you're lucky enough to have a mother and father that love you and they're around, call them. don't e-mail them, don't text
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>> you did memorize it. >> jimmy: i did. i kind of did. i have it tattooed on my lower back. [ laughter ] i want you to look at it later just to make sure i got it word for word. but then, you went on. it was just beautiful. it was a good way -- it's a a classy night, the academy awards. it was just a classy way to start it off. that was nice of you to do that, and then of course, you thanked your beautiful wife, who you've married almost 20 years now, is that correct? >> it'll be 20 years in september, yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: now, i know why she would fall for a guy like you. i go, "oh, he's talented." then i saw a picture of where you first met. you met doing "peter pan" on broadway. >> yes, we did. >> jimmy: yeah, and you were -- oh, man. this is really cool. here's you and your wife. [ audience aws ] [ cheers and applause ] come on. look at that right there. yeah. there she is. there you go. there you go. >> i was getting a little handsy, there. >> jimmy: you got a little handsy, yeah. >> yeah. >> jimmy: but that's sweet. you just met.
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>> we had the same hair, so -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: ah, well, you got a a good voice. you got the best voice for theater. but also, that's why these guys want you in the animated movies, because you've got a a good voice. so here you are in the new "kung fu panda 3." this is angelina jolie, jack black, obviously. everyone is coming back. but you're new. kate hudson is new, and bryan cranston is new. >> mm-hmm. >> jimmy: and you play kai? you're a villain. >> i'm the scary bad guy. >> jimmy: oh, okay, yeah. i was like, "do you play kai?" [ laughter ] you're a cute little -- >> no, yeah. you don't know what kai is. >> jimmy: you're a litle baby panda. yeah, yeah, no. no, you're not the baby. >> no, cranston gets to be a a panda. i'm a giant scary-looking ox thing. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. would you change your voice for that? >> well, i mean, when they first asked me to do it, the only question i asked was, "it all the same team?" you know, the writers and directors and producers. and it is. and i thought the first two movies were so good, and the actors. >> jimmy: your voice is a a friendly voice.
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a villain. >> well, but at least i got the low voice. >> jimmy: "yeah. i'm a bull." [ light laughter ] >> so that was my thought. i would go to my james earl jones darth vader land. >> jimmy: yeah! >> see if that was kind of what they were looking for. >> jimmy: nice reference! i love that. yeah, i know that one. i want to show a clip. here's j.k. simmons as the villain, kai, in "kung fu panda 3." check this out. >> kai has returned! >> who? >> kai. general kai. supreme war lord of all china. >> i don't know. >> the jade slayer. master of pain. >> eh. >> okay, i used to work with oogway. >> oh, oogway! >> great warrior. >> we've heard of master oogway. >> okay, okay. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i knew your were like a villain, but you're friendly. a lovable villain. that's our pal, j.k. simmons right there.
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theaters everywhere january 29th. billy joel performs for us next. stick around. turn your tvs up. it's good, it's good, it's good. [ cheers and applause ] i absolutely love my new york apartment, but the rent is outrageous. good thing geico offers affordable renters insurance. with great coverage it protects my personal belongings should they get damaged, stolen or destroyed. [doorbell] uh, excuse me. delivery. hey. lo mein, szechwan chicken, chopsticks, soy sauce and you got some fortune cookies. have a good one. ah, these small new york apartments... protect your belongings. let geico help you with renters insurance. dunkin' donuts k-cups are available here at the grocery store. and people seem to be really excited about it. like, really excited. have a good one.
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available where you buy groceries. meet marvin. marvin thinks you have to be a brainiac to do your own taxes. so we brought in world-renowned brainiac, doctor s. james gates junior, to help him get started. marvin. you got a w-2. uh, yeah. i do. you got a finger. yes. take the finger and press it right here. [camera shutter] yay, you got it.
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intuit turbo tax. taxes done smarter. (air horn, trap door opening) rootmetrics, in the nation's largest independent study, tested wireless performance across the country. verizon won big with one hundred fifty three state wins. at+t got thirty-eight, sprint got two, and t mobile got zero. verizon also won first in the us for data, call speed, and reliability. at+t got text. stuck on an average network? join verizon and we'll cover your costs to switch. when you're on vacation, it's time to play. so at hilton we say play hooky from your regular monday. and while you're at it, play hooky from the ordinary. the uninspired. the routine. but mostly, just play. when you plan a vacation at any one of hilton's 12 distinct brands, you always get the lowest price.
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at the all-new tacoma.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, get ready. get ready. get ready. this is going to be fun tonight. performing his classic "scenes from an italian restaurant." once again, billy joel. [ cheers and applause ] a bottle of white a bottle of red perhaps a bottle of rose instead we'll get a table near the street
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you and i face to face a bottle of red a bottle of white it all depends on your appetite i'll meet you any time you want
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things are okay with me these days got a good job got a good office got a new wife got a new life and the family's fine we lost touch long ago you lost weight i did not know you could ever look so nice after so much time do you remember those days hanging out at the village green engineer boots leather jackets and tight blue jeans drop a dime in the box play the song about new orleans cold beer hot lights my sweet romantic teenage
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brenda and eddie were the popular steadies and the king and the queen of the prom riding around with the car top down and the radio on nobody looked any finer or was more of a hit at the parkway diner we never knew we could
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than that out of life surely brenda and eddie would always know how to survive brenda and eddie were still going steady in the summer of '75 when they decided the marriage would be at the end of july everyone said they were crazy brenda you know you're much too lazy eddie could never afford to live that kind of life but there we were waving brenda and eddie goodbye they got an apartment with deep pile carpet and a couple of paintings from sears a big waterbed that they bought with the bread they had saved for a couple of years they started to fight when the money got tight
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they lived for a while in a very nice style but it's always the same in the end they got a divorce as a matter of course and they parted the closest of friends then the king and the queen went back to the green but you can never go back there again brenda and eddie had had it already by the summer of '75 from the high to the low to the end of the show for the rest of their lives they couldn't go back to the greasers the best they could do was
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we always knew they would both find a way to get by that's all i heard about brenda and eddie can't tell you more than i told you already and here we are waving brenda
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a bottle of red a bottle of white whatever kind of mood you're in tonight i'll meet you anytime you want
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh! oh! destruction. destruction. oh, the best. billy joel. tickets for his 31st madison square garden show go on sale friday, january 15th.
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[ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to billy joel. [ cheers and applause ] j.k. simmons. [ cheers and applause ] and the roots right there from philadelphia, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching. have a great night. hope to see you tomorrow.
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[ cheers and applause ]
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