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tv   The Late Show With Stephen Colbert  CBS  July 27, 2021 11:35pm-12:36am PDT

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sor lindsey grahasgo twar ov chick-fil-a after some notre dame students asked the university not to add chick-fil- a to their campus over its anti- l.g.b.t.q. stance. the senator tweeted... ♪ >> we will not chew salads into the night! we will not taste fruit when we bite! we are going to eat whoppers! with a side of chicken fries. ( cheers and applause )
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>> they may take our lives, but they'll never take our filet-of-fish! ( cheers and applause ) >> this is subway! ♪ >> announcer: it's "the late show with stephen colbert!" tonight: coup close for comfort! plus, stephen welcomes: hugh jackman. and musical guest lorde. featuring jon batiste and "stay human." and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hello, everybody! oh, you're trying to sneak up on me! good to see ya! good to see ya!
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hello. hello. hello. ( piano riff ) thank you! thank you, ladies and gentlemen. welcome to "the late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert. and-- talkinoun li applause )tot, company: former president lollacolluda. ( laughter ) naturally, we all want to forget about that guy. since the day he went out and lied about the election on november 5th, okay, since that day, i try not to say his name. we don't show his name on air. i don't do my impression because haven't you suffered enough? ( laughter ) ( applause ) ( cheering )
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but there are just are times when you have to slap yourself in the face, put a little cold water on the back f your neck, reourseljustow was by repeating out loud the simple fact: "donald trump is a fascist." ( cheers and applause ) that's not just me flapping my gums, that's chairman of the joint chiefs mark milley, seen here at defcon eyebrow. ( laughter ) in a new book, milley reveals that, following the election night, he thought the ex- president "was stoking unrest, possibly in hopes of an excuse to invoke the insurrection act and call out the military," saying, "this is a reichstag moment." no surprise. the last president was pretty popular with thelt.
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( laughter ) of course, the reichstag fire was in 1930s germany, when an attack on the country's what the maga crowd did this year was totally different, because it was in english. ( laughter ) milley says that he was alerted that the former president and his allies were trying to "overturn the government" by a call from "an old friend." the friend also sent a text: "the orange eggplant is a knot-z clown. we are in deep doo doo." ( laughter ) ( cheers and applause )>>oney'r now, the general was confident the coup attempt would fail, telling aides, "they may try, but they're not going to (bleep) succeed. you can't do this without the te c.i.a. and the f.b.i. we're the guys with the guns." general, that is not as reassuring as you think.
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( laughter ) may i remind you, this is america. we're all the guys with guns. i don't own any guns, and i think i do. ( laughter ) but it is refreshing that our country was saved because, for once, the c.i.a. didn't want to destabilize a democracy. milley didn't relax after the january 6 insurrection was thwarted. in the run-up to biden's inauguration, he wanted the military to lock down washington, d.c., telling his troops, "here's the deal, guys: these guys are nazis. they're boogaloo boys, they're proud boys. these are the same people we fought in world war ii." oh, come on. they're insurrectionists, but what makes you think these guys are nazis? ( laughter ) ( cheers and applause ) clearly-- those are actual photos. >> jon: that's a real photo! >> stephen: clearly, the former president didn't like the tea
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that milley spill-y, because earlier today, he released a statement declaring, "i'm not into coups!" adding, "if i was going to do a coup, one of the last people i would want to do it with is general mark milley." ( cheers and applause ) okay, you've clearly put some thought into this thing you're not into. (as husband) "honey, come on, i am not into three-ways. but if i was, i wouldn't do it with our neighbor alice! your sister is way hotter. ( laughter ) you know what would be funny, if we just-- okay. ( laughter f.b.i.till trackdown l the ownshirts whft i'll tell you all about it in tonight's "seditionist round-up roundup." ♪ >> i can't four-stomach these idiots!
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>> stephen: cows have four stomachs. ( laughter ) first up, we all remember this guy, photographed hanging from the senate balcony. he's like spiderman if he got bitten by a radioactive idiot. ( laughter ) turns out, he's iowa resident josiah colt, seen here preparing to audition for the musketeers. ( laughter ) colt appeared in court yesterday, where prosecutors explained how he and his buddies came to d.c. strapped to the teeth, with a glock 43 pistol, two magazines of ammunition, a handheld taser stun gun, knives, gas mask, body armor, an expandable baton, walkie-talkies and bear mace. they brought bear mace to a "stop the steal" rally? what did they think was being stolen, a pic-a-nic basket? ( laughter ) hey, boo-boo! hey, little buddy! hey, boo! hey, yogi, hey, yog, let's storm
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the capitol! ( laughter ) ( applause ) like a lot of these dinguses, colt seemed confused about where he was. even though he was spelunking in the senate, he apparently believed he was in the house. i, is that an accurate summary?" colt said, yes. ( laughter ) so he had no idea where he was. for his next heist, he's going to break into the vault at joseph a. bank. ( laughter ) steal one suit, get a second suit free. ( laughter ) ( applause ) that's a deal. they make quality, quality menswear. a couple of days before the insurrection, one of colt's dumb friends posted this photo of colt in bed with a gun, to which colt commented, "ready for any battle" with the crying laughing emoji.
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when the judge asked him about it, colt said "the picture posted was actually a joke. it was kind of like a funny joke." as a professional in the biz we call "show," you know what we call something that's "kind of like a funny joke"? he's a better joke for mr. colt: "knock, knock." >> audience: who's there? >> stephen: "it's the f.b.i., you're going to jail." ( laughter ) ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: oh! oh! ( applause ) >> stephen: not every insurrectionist on january 6th was a lone wolf. for some, it's in the gene pool. like the five members of a texas family who were arrested for the capitol attack. evidently, january 6th was "take your kid to hang mike pence day." ( laughter ) the family was caught on capitol surveillance cameras. there's the dad, tom munn. his wife dawn. and three of his adult children: josh, kristi, and kayli.
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tough to get caught like that, but at least they have this year's christmas card. "treason's greetings!" ( cheers and applause ) not bad. that's not bad. not bad. that's not bad. earlier this week, i had the chance to sit down with the world's newest astronaut, billionaire and cruise magician hitting on your wife, sir richard branson. this weekend, we all watched branson fly to the edge of space on his virgin galactic rocket ship, but now there's a controversy threatening to tear the whole thing apart. on the morning of the launch, livestream viewers saw this video of branson riding his bike through the new mexico desert up to the space port to greet his fellow crew members. so cute, so wholesome. billionaires: they're just like multi-millionaires. ( laughter ) it "fed" the video of
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branson's pre-launch bike ride. ( booing ) what? it was all fake? what else are you lying about? is that rocket even a real virgin? ( laughter ) ( applause ) in a statement, a virgin galactic spokesperson backpedaled on cyclegate: "the footage of sir richard branson shown during the event sunday was pre-recorded, and misidentified in the broadcast." okay, it was just misidentified. there's no reason anyone should actually believe that richard branson arrived on a bicycle. right, richard branson in that same livestream? >> so awesome to arrive on bicycle across this beautiful new mexico countryside. ( laughter ) >> stephen: oh, sorry i'm late! i, uh-- i just, uh... ( cheers and applause ) ( piano riff ) --just, just took a quick spin
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around the block on my bike also, it's pretty bold to lie when you're literally in a town called truth or consequences, new mexico. ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, i wish it ended there. but i have personally uncovered another scandal surrounding the virgin galactic space launch. you see, branson was our guest on tuesday night, and he gave me a picture that he said he took with him to space. take a look. >> i promised to take this person to space. so we're taking out a picture of this person up. we don't want it to weigh too much because every little bit of weight counts. put him in my top pocket. one small photo for stephen colbert, one giant leap for mankind. this has been to space, and i would like to-- >> stephen: thank you. ( cheers and applause ) that was really a lovely moment for me, because it was a culmination of my childhood dreams. or was it?
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because, jim-- can you punch in on that video branson showed? there he is, cutting my photo off right under the chin! freeze it there! now put up the photo he gave me! ( audience reacts ) clearly-- clearly-- >> jon: oh! oh! oh! come on!myhest. that's not my space picture! truth or consequences, sir richard. did this picture go to space? or am i just another bike ride to you? ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: aaahhh! aaahhh! >> stephen: we've got to find out! i give the man a benefit of the doubt-- either i've been lied to, or there's a simpler explanation: the man who gave me that photo is not the real richard branson. when he went to space, he was replaced by the richard branson from the mirror universe from that "star trek" episode with spock and evil spock. think about it: ever since
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branson returned from space, he's had that ridiculous goatee. we've got a great show for you tonight. ( cheers and applause ) my guest is hugh jackman. and later, a special performance on the roof of the ed sullivan by lorde. but when we come back, it's "meanwhile!" liberty mutual customizes car insurance so you only pay for what you need. how much money can liberty mutual save you? one! two! three! four! five! 72,807! 72,808... dollars.
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( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> stephen: hey, everybody! give it up for jon batiste and "stan"
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( cheers and applause ) >> jon: yeah! oh! >> stephen: cheers. >> jon: he's on fire! he's on fire! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: this? what are we shooting for? ( cheers and applause ) ( laughter ) >> stephen: folks, ladies and gentlemen, you know i spend a lot of time delicately whittling a melange of the day's most pressing story timbers, precisely measuring the necks, ribs, and backs of the news, employing only the most sophisticated and topical purfling, then laying 15 exquisite coats of insight onto the ornate yet robust stradivarius violin that is my monologue. but sometimes, sometimes, folks, i gather up frayed electrical wire from a burnt-out bowling alley, tape it to a termite-
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infested 2x4, then shove one end into a discarded chum bucket to make the appalachian drifter's banjo of news that is my segment: >> "meanwhile!" ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: there you go. a trying to for the-- a delight for the eyes. meanwhile, the olympics are set to be one of the hottest in history, but team u.s.a. has a secret weapon to keep cool: air- conditioned jackets, that contain a battery-powered device placed on the back of the jacket, blasting the wearer's neck with cold air in a similar way to how computers are kept cool. just be careful not to knock your coffee onto your olympian or you'll have to buy a whole new athlete, and the company will not pay for it. the i.t. guy just sent out an email about this. ( laughter ) meanwhile, van leeuwen and kraft are debuting a mac and cheese- flavored ice cream.
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okay. fine. you know what? i'm in the ice cream biz. okay? ( cheers and applause ) i will not be outdone! what the hell, since clearly nothing means anything anymore, ben and jerry's and i are teaming up with hungry man to create "americone dinners." premium ice cream that tastes like things that you don't want in your ice cream. with flavors like homestyle mint chocolate meatloaf, and boneless ham-stachio. the kraft-van leeuwen flavor merger was announced via instagram, with a picture of the ice cream with the caption: "it's happening." which is also what'le ruing to m moments after eating this ice cream. ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: come on, van leeuwen. >> stephen: meanwhile, in subterranean recreation news, a michigan man found 160 bowling balls under his home.
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oh my god! you know what that means? his house is built on an anciene of theorre possessed by the ghost of the shoe rental guy! ( laughter ) meanwhile, popeyes' chicken sandwich is so popular, it's adding nuggets to the menu. wait, wait, popeyes chicken did not already have chicken nuggets? next you're going to tell me the burger king isn't actually royalty-- what?! a head that big has to be from centuries of inbreeding! ( laughter ) meanwhile, over in europe, an italian artist sold an invisible sculpture for $18,000. which... ( cheers and applause ) prove i didn't!
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i tell you what, i don't want this to block the camera, so i'll move this over here next to my good friend frodo baggins. ( laughter ) but, there may be a problem with my new purchase. apparently, another artist is "threatening to sue the artist whose invisible sculpture sold for $18,000, saying he came up with the idea first." wait, are you telling me that my brand new, $18,000 invisible sculpture might be a fake? apparently, artist tom miller says he made an invisible sculpture in 2016, and he is demanding visibility." ( cheers and applause ) really? really? demanding visibility for your clearly you don't "get i ok ting agube physical space and nonexistence
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that speaks to a primordial need within the artist to "get cash." ( cheers and applause ) meanwhile-- both those guys look like a lot of fun. ( laughter ) meanwhile, "17 million gallons of sewage were dumped into santa monica bay," and as of this week, "beaches from el segundo to the dockweiler r.v. park were closed for swimming." too bad. i know when i wat to swim in pure, toxin-free waters, i always look for the nearest r.v. park. ( laughter ) officials say the spill was due to a nearby processing facility triggering "an emergency dump." ( laughter ) also, i'm guessing, what's triggered by kraft mac and cheese ice cream. ( cheers and applause ) you know what? you know what? i'm being unfair. >> jon: i like that! >> stephen: you know what, jon? i am being unfair. after making so much fun of this
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ice cream, let's give it a whirl. ( applause ) there's the actual ice cream. there we go. there we go. give it a shake. give it a shake. it's happening! we'll be right back with hugh jackman. ( cheers and applause ) ♪ ♪ ♪ welcome to allstate. where everything just seems to go your way. ♪ ♪ you're in good hands with allstate. click or call for a lower auto rate today. start your day with crest 3d white and from mochaccinos to merlot, you're in good hands with allstate. your smile will always be brilliant. crest 3d white brilliance. 100% stain removal, 24 hour stain resistance to lock in your whitest smile. crest. the #1 toothpaste brand in america.
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( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> stephen: welcome back, everybody! my guest tonight-- ( cheers and applause ) i'm excited, too. ladies and gentlemen, my guest this evening is a tony and emmy
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award-winning actor you know from "x-men," "les mis," and "the greatest showman." he now stars in the new movie, "reminiscence." ( grunting sounds ) ( grunting sounds ) ( arm snapping ) >> stephen: please welcome back to "the late show" hugh jackman! ( cheers and applause )
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♪ >> thank you! >> stephen: wow! ( cheers and applause ) >> wow! >> stephen: good to see you again. >> wow! whoo! >> stephen: welcome. welcome. >> that's something coming out of the pandemic. this is the first i've had-- the first ever all of you. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: what an honor. it feels good. >> stephen: so, okay, we have not spoken since the pandemic began. >> yeah. >> stephen: we haven't spoken since before. how fared you during the pandemic? obviously, it was never a great situation. >> no. >> stephen: but, what did you do with yourself? >> i was here, you were here.
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>> stephen: no. but you were in new york? >> i was in new york, so i was here the whole time, and it was-- oh, pick an adjective. it was everything. it was frightening, it was weird, it was strange. i had my 16-year-old and 21- year-old with me all the time, hating it all the time. >> stephen: because they're stuck with you. >> right, what 16-year-old and 21-year-old wants to have nine months with their parents? and the parents are, like, monopoly! >> stephen: let's do a puzzle! let's make some bread! literally, oh, this is the worst. but, you know, it was such a bizarre situation, and, you know, being here -- i just was filled with such gratitude for the people who were going at it every single day making it possible. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: the essential workers, hospital workers. >> yeah. >> stephen: did you go back to-- how long before you went back to australia? >> well, i just went down now. australia is completely different. i mean, they're having a bit of
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an outbreak right now, but for many months, there was not one case, zero cases across the country. i actually had to go into a hotel quarantine for two weeks when i went down there. so everyone arrives, goes into a hotel-- >> stephen: what did you learn about yourself in that quarantine? because it's like an isolation chamber. >> yeah. >> stephen: what does hugh jackman learn about hugh jackman? >> i'm really boring. ( laughter ) it turns out-- like, you know, i say, oh, my wife is the best thing about me-- it's true. literally, without her there, it's, like, just tell me some stories. it was a little weird. >> stephen: if you're in a hotel room and bored of being hugh jackman, you should check out the pay-per-view movies because there are some really good hugh jackman movies on pay-per-view. >> of course, i watched them, but that's, like, ten hours a day. after that, what do yo? i made my kids watch all my movies. my kids watch them. that's normal, right. >> stephen:
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>> stephen: i make them watch my show. >> i know you do. >> stephen: when broadway gets back up, it's one of the more exciting things i'm looking forward to this fall is when, come september, broadway's going to open back up, and-- ( cheers and applause ) and one of the things i'm most excited about is i look out one of my office windows, i look out at a billboard. at you. >> right. >> stephen: as harold hill from "the music man," because you're going to be at the winter garden this winter as "the music man." >> just over there, right. >> stephen: just over there, exactly. >> we could do a jump swap, it's like two blocks away. >> stephen: sure. ( singing ) ♪ ♪ good night ladies ♪ >> you're ahead of me! ♪ good night ladies ♪
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>> howh >> stephen: that's all i know. >> he's a music man, he sells drum bones. the pick aloe. the shiny gold braid on the coat. i don't know much about bands but you can't make a living selling big trombones. i don't know how he does it but he lives like a king and when a a man dances, the pipe bass said yes, sir, yes, sir! that's it. yes, sir, yes, sir! that's it. >> stephen: that is officially-- i want you to know this is your return to broadway tonight. ( cheers app♪ >> we're done. >> stephen: done. have you ever played this part before? because you seem like a natural
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for harold hill. >> the first thing i did in high school is "the music man." i was salesman number two. >> stephen: who's salesman number two? the one harold hill keeps ruining? >> "he's a what? he's a what?" >> stephen: oh, that guy. >> "music man." that's it. a lot of standing there with. ♪ oh the wells fargo wagon is a comin' down ♪ ( laughter ) >> stephen: we have some footage, this is you working on the old tap dance. haesn'tlook e.
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what do you have to train harder for? harold hill and "the music man," or "wolverine"? different training, obviously. >> i'm still going to say "wolverine," probably. >> stephen: really. i have really been going a year and a half. we kept rehearsing. it's been a year and a half we have been rehearsing for this. so it certainly takes me a lot longer. i'm not like a trained dancer. i wasn't a trained singer. >> stephen: you're not a trained dancer, from oz and all that? >> i'm just pretending. >> stephen: you're acting like a dancer? >> as a kid i wasn't. i've learned as an adult, so i have to do that all the time. i sing every day. i have singing lessons every week. yeah, i'm literally faking it all. i'm faking all day. >> stephen: we have to take a quick break, but when we come back i'll ask you what part you wanted to play, if he got to play any part he wanted to play. ( laughter ) ♪
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>> stephen: hey, everybody! we're here with the lovely and talented hugh jackman! i'm going to ask you about some actors that you've learned from. obviously, our dear friend and yours, ian mckellen, obviously, magneto for many years, him and patrick stewart, you called them your deniro and pacino.
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what have you learned from them by sharing the screen? >> ian is a theatrical beast, so i was brought up in the theater as well. it was one of my very first films and he says, hugh, dear boy, it's going to feel really uncomfortable. when you're on acting on film feels uncomfortable but it will look right, just go with it. i always remember that because when you begin in film, it's stop-start, it's very weird. you're never acting more than a minute at a time. you have people in your face, camera, lights, it feels weird. patrick, i learned so much from patrick, the greatest tip he gave me about life itself, not so much acting, he said i learned when i was about 16, wish i had learned i was younger, i give myself time at the beginning. if he has a 5:00 call, he wakes up at 4:00, wakes up with a cup
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of tea, comes back with his favorite book, he says, i just read a book like a novel, so i know that no matter what happens for the rest of the day, i've had a half hour. because everyone thinks, oh, i'll do it after work or go home, but life always gets away from you. so i do that, my wife and i wake up every morning and we go get a cup of tea, coffee for me, and we sit in bed and we just read. >> stephen: that's lovely. >> you look at me like you don't believe me. >> stephen: no, i totally believe you. i want to do it, i just don't want to get up early. >> it's great advice. >> stephen: ian, there's a lot of talk about ian is going to play hamlet at age 82, with i is obviously it's a young man's part, but people are so excited to see his interpretation. >> right. >> stephen: if you could play any part, regardless of age or gender or what we think of would
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be a normal cast in this part, what would you-- >> he's 82, who's playing his mother? that's going to be impressive. ( laughter ) >> stephen: sure. lillian gish. ( laughter ) >> any part i would like to play... >> stephen: yes. >> king lear is the one for me. >> stephen: i could see that. >> that would be the one for me. ( applause ) and bill murray's character in "caddyshack," that's the other one. ( laughter ) >> stephen: sure, dalai lama. absolutely. which would be more challenging, king lear or the grounds keeper? >> the grounds keeper. ( laughter ) when i was auditioning for drama school, you do a modern classic which would be shakespeare and a modern piece. >> stephen: you're about to tell me something i can't believe. >> there were 17 of us in a room and this guy gets up and says,
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yes, i'm going to do the groundskeeper from "caddyshack," and everyone is giggling, and the guy goes, no, it's a classic. he goes, dude, have you seen that movie? it's a classic! ( laughter ) he almost got in on the spot. >> stephen: i love it. the new movie is called "reminiscence," written and directed by lisa joy, who is one of the creators of "westworld." >> yes. >> stephen: what's the movie about? >> has anyone here seen "westworld?" >> stephen: everyone. mart, so it's got a lot of that tone, very smart, sci-fi, but it's got action, as you saw, a little bit of a love story and a suspense thriller, set in the future. i'm like a private investigator of the mind. a reminiscent machine allows you to go and relive memories, literally touch and feel. >> stephen: so you could give them to me. >> but i have to guide you in so
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you don't go into dark territory and you safely arrive at that memory, not something else, and that's my job. very early on a woman comes in played by rebecca ferguson. she's literally using the machine to get her lost car keys. she said, i just want to find them. i instantly fall in love and start a romance, and she disappears, and that's the end. no, that's early on in the movie. and then my trying to find out what happened is really what the story is about. i go into this dark part of the world, and the world itself is miami in the future. it's pretty much underwater. climate change affected the climate so that everyone lives at night. so the underworld happens in the broad, dark, starlight. it will be like nothing you've ever seen. >> stephen: lovely to see you. thank you so much for being here! ( cheers and applause )
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>> good to see you, man. >> stephen: "reminiscence" will be in theaters and on hbo max on august 20! the man is hugh jackman, everybody! we'll be right back with a special rooftop performance by lorde! ( cheers and applause ) come in for mambo sauce, leave queen of the cookout. what we value most, shouldn't cost more. alright, guys, no insurance talk on beach day. -i'm down. -yes, please. [ chuckles ] don't get me wrong, i love my rv, but insuring it is such a hassle. same with my boat. the insurance bills are through the roof. -[ sighs ] -be cool. i wish i could group my insurance stuff. -[ coughs ] bundle. -the house, the car, the rv. like a cluster. an insurance cluster. -wooh. -[ coughs ] bundle. -the hou-[ chuckles ]the rv. -i doubt that exists. -it's a bundle! it's a bundle, and it saves you money!
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hi. i'm flo from progressive, and i couldn't help but overhear... super fun beach day, everybody. it's dry. there's no dry time. makes us wonder why we booked fifteen second ad slots. itchy? there scratchy?time. family not getting clean? get charmin ultra strong. it just cleans better, so your family can use less. hello clean bottom! enjoy the go with charmin. whoa, susan! ohhh... i'm looking for coupon codes. well, capital one shopping instantly searches for available coupon codes and automatically applies them. save me some cheddar! capital one shopping. it's kinda genius. what's in your wallet? for people who could use a lift new neutrogena® rapid firming. a triple-lift serum with pure collagen. 92% saw visibly firmer skin in just 4 weeks.
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neutrogena® for people with skin. ♪ can i get ten large fries please? i'm gonna need like ten egg mcmuffin sandwich things? night, or the next morning, you've been loyal. mymcdonald's rewards is for you. now, every order earns points redeemable for free mcdonald's.
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there's an america we build and one we explore. one that's been paved and one that's forever wild. but freedom means you don't have to choose just one adventure. you get both. introducing the wildly civilized all-new 3-row jeep grand cherokee l i've got moderate to severe plaque psoriasis. now, there's skyrizi. ♪ things are getting clearer. ♪ ♪ i feel free to bare my skin yeah, that's all me. ♪ ♪ nothing and me go hand in hand nothing on my skin, ♪ ♪ that's my new plan. ♪ ♪ nothing is everything. ♪ achieve clearer skin with skyrizi.
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of those, nearly 9 out of 10 sustained it through 1 year. and skyrizi is 4 doses a year, after 2 starter doses. ♪ i see nothing in a different way it's my moment ♪ ♪ so i just gotta say... ♪ ♪ nothing is everything. ♪ skyrizi may increase your risk of infections and lower your ability to fight them. before treatment, your doctor should check you for infections and tuberculosis. tell your doctor if you have an infection or symptoms such as fevers, sweats, chills, muscle aches, or coughs or if you plan to or recently received a vaccine. ♪ nothing is everything. ♪ now is the time to ask your dermatologist about skyrizi. this is what freedom sounds like. and this. this is what freedom smells like. ♪ nothing is everything. ♪ ahhh, enjoy 30 days of open-road freshness. febreze car. la, la, la, la, la welcome to allstate. where our new auto rates are so low, ♪ you'll jump for joy.
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♪ here, better protection costs a whole lot less. you're in good hands with allstate. click or call for a lower auto rate today. you know when you're at ross you're in good hands and all those brands have her like... yes! ...and all those prices have you like... yes! that's yes for less! you've got this school year, and we've got you with the best bargains ever at ross. get your yes for less at our new store in east san mateo. this guy here is busy working on our state's recovery. you see he lives in california and by vacationing in california he's supporting our businesses and communities. which means every fruity skewer is like another sweet nail in the rebuilding of our economy. hammer away craftsman. calling all californians. keep your vacation here and help our state get back to work. and please travel responsibly.
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you know when you're at ross and find just what you need... to make any space your space? (sighs) yes! that's yes for less. get the best bargains ever for every room and every budget. at ross. yes for less. >> stephen: and now, debuting the title track from her album "solar power" here on the roof of the ed sullivan theater, lorde! ♪ i hate the winter can't stand the cold ♪ i tend to cancel all the plans ♪ but when the heat comes something takes a hold ♪ can i kick it? yeah, i can
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♪ my cheeks in high colour overripe peaches ♪ no shirt, no shoes only my features ♪ my boy behind me he's taking pictures ♪ lead the boys and girls onto the beaches ♪ come one, come all i'll tell you my secrets ♪ i'm kinda like a prettier jesus ♪ forget all of the tears that you've cried ♪ it's over over, over, over, over ♪ it's a new state of mind are you coming, my baby? ♪ acid green aquamarine ♪ the girls are dancing in the sand ♪nd i t ♪ can you reach me?
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no, you can't aha ♪ my cheeks in high colour overripe peaches ♪ no shirt, no shoes only my features ♪ my boy behind me he's taking pictures taking pictures ♪ lead the boys and girls onto the beaches ♪ come one, come all i'll tell you my secrets ♪ i'm kinda like a prettier jesus ♪ turn it on in a new kind of bright ♪ it's solar solar, solar, solar, solar ♪ come on and let the bliss begin ♪ blink three times when you feel it kicking in, that ♪ solar-olar-olar power ♪ solar-olar-olar
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power ♪ solar-olar-olar power ♪ solar-olar-olar power ♪ solar-olar-olar power ♪ solar-olar-olar power ♪ >> stephen: her album, "solar power," comes out august 20. lorde, everybody! ( applause )
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i'm morgan, and there's more to me than hiv. more love, more adventure, more community. but with my hiv treatment, there's not more medicines in my pill. i talked to my doctor and switched to fewer medicines with dovato. dovato is for some adults who are starting hiv-1 treatment or replacing their current hiv-1 regimen. with just 2 medicines in 1 pill, dovato is as effective as a 3-drug regimen... to help you reach and stay undetectable.
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research shows people who take hiv treatment as prescribed and get to and stay undetectable can no longer transmit hiv through sex. don't take dovato if you're allergic to its ingredients or if you take dofetilide. taking dovato with dofetilide can cause serious or life-threatening side effects. hepatitis b can become harder to treat while on dovato. don't stop dovato without talking to your doctor, as your hepatitis b may worsen or become life-threatening. serious or life-threatening side effects can occur, including allergic reactions, lactic acid buildup, and liver problems. if you have a rash and other symptoms of an allergic reaction, stop dovato and get medical help right away. tell your doctor if you have kidney or liver problems, or if you are, may be, or plan to be pregnant. dovato may harm your unborn baby. use effective birth control while on dovato. do not breastfeed while taking dovato. ommon side effectsreus, diar, trouble sleeping, tiredness, and anxiety. so much goes into who i am.
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hiv medicine is one part of it. ask your doctor about dovato-i did. ♪ did you steal my cheetos again? ♪ to keep ya own stash you have to hide it better ♪ ♪ if she asks where they are say you forgetter ♪ ♪ never admit to a word but please don't upset her ♪ ♪ and if she keeps on snackin' ♪ ♪ ah i guess you let her ♪ it's a cheetos thing. need better sleep? try nature's bounty sleep 3 a unique tri layer supplement, that calms you helps you fall a sleep faster and stay a sleep longer. great sleep comes naturally with sleep 3 only from nature's bounty >> stephen: that's it for "the late show." good night, everybody. ♪ >> stephen: they drove all the way from texas to washington, d.c., classic family road trip. okay, everyone go to the bathroom before we left? no? good. save it to mere on the walls. ( laughter )
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why is the car going back and forth so much? oh, because i'm driving like this? i learned to drive by watching a sketch comedy show. captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org captioning sponsored by cbs ♪ the late late show-oh-oh the late late show, woo! ♪ the late late show-oh,-oh the late late show oh! oh! ♪ it's the late late show ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ r

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