tv Late Night With Seth Meyers NBC June 15, 2022 12:37am-1:37am PDT
[ cheers and applause ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers. tonight -- miles teller - star of "girls5eva" actress busy philipps -- from "rutherford falls" actress and writer jana schmieding - featuring the 8gand with jordyn blakely ♪ [ cheers and applause and now, seth meyers >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night. we hope you're doing well tonight. and now we're gonna get to the news in an interview with cnn last night, white house press secretary karine jean-pierre was asked if president biden's age or stamina will be a challenge in his re-election bid
said jean-pierre, "no, everything else will." [ laughter ] president biden criticized large corporations for keeping prices high to boost profits, in a speech last week, and said, "exxon made more money than god last year. worst, they made it by selling a natural resource so that's technically god's money. during her opening statement at yesterday's hearing on the capitol attack, republican representative liz cheney said that an "apparently inebriated rudy giuliani told former president trump to falsely claim he won on election night to be fair, his legal advice doesn't get any better when he's sober. [ laughter ] "are you drunk again?" "trust me, it's just as bad. [ laughter ] during yesterday's congressional hearing, it was revealed that donald trump jr.'s fiancee, kimberly guilfoyle, was paid $60,000 to speak at the rally before the capitol attack. well, technically, $20,000 to speak and then $40,000 to
"please, stop. [ laughter ] when asked if he will support the bipartisan gun legislation framework, republican senator mike braun said he was open to it, but added he was, "interested to see where the nra is on it," which is a little like saying you're open to eating healthier but are interested to see how oreos feel about it first [ laughter ] house speaker nancy pelosi over the weekend appeared on an episode of "rupaul's drag race all stars. either that or she didn't, and that person should win [ laughter ] i mean - [ laughter and applause come on. mick jagger announced yesterday he tested positive for the coronavirus, and keith richards announced that's the only thing he's tested negative for [ laughter ] beyonce recently deleted her profile pictures on all social-media platforms i just hope i can remember what
beyoncelooks like. former president trump turned 76 today, so now he's really asking everyone to stop the count [ laughter ] that's right, today was former president donald trump's 76th birthday pretty impressive. 76, and he can still get an insurrection [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause wow. that man was our president [ laughter ] and finally, rapper snoop dogg recently tweeted that the full-time blunt roller he hired now makes up to $50,000 a year, which has to be the smallest salary she's ever made [ laughter ] i bet they're beautifully rolled i bet they're beautifully, artisanally rolled that was the monologue, everybody. we got a great show for you tonight. [ cheers and applause he's a very busy man right now,
starring in "top gun: maverick," "the offer" on paramount plus, and "spiderhead" on netflix. miles teller is back on the show, everybody. [ cheers and applause you know her from "freaks and geeks" and "cougar town." currently, she's one of the stars of "girls5eva" on peacock. our friend busy philipps is here [ cheers and applause and she is a very funny actress and writer who is currently starring in "rutherford falls. jana schmieding will also be joining us [ cheers and applause but before we get to all that, police in idaho on saturday arrested 31 people who are allegedly members of the white-supremacist group the patriot front after they were caught outside a pride parade. the group was hiding inside a u-haul truck, wearing riot gear, and was apparently planning to attack the event >> police were tipped off by what they called a concerned citizen who said they witnessed what looked like a little army. the group hopped into a u-haul in the back of a hotel parking lot, wearing masks, shields, and shin guards. all 31 members were charged with
conspiracy to riot >> seth: one of my writers, jenny hagel, is gay, and she's here to comment. [ cheers and applause >> thanks, seth. this news is really upsetting. pride events should be joyful celebrations, not targets for hate and violence. the people arrested this weekend are awful human beings also, they're a bunch of dorks [ laughter ] >> seth: i'm sorry, "dorks"? >> yeah. they were going to attack a pride parade in idaho, an event attended by literally hundreds [ laughter ] okay, tough guys the only place with fewer queer people is a talbots. [ laughter ] come try that [bleep] at the pride parade in new york, attended by 2 million people who spend the rest of the year at the gym. [ laughter ] also, these idiots got arrested before they even committed the crime. what a bunch of nerds! [ laughter ] when i was in high school, i got grounded for staying at denny's past curfew, but at least i got
to the denny's [ laughter ] these guys weren't even found out by the police or the fbi they were caught when a random citizen called in a tip. that is the dorkiest thing i've ever heard that's like trying to rob a bank and getting stopped by a crossing guard [ laughter ] i will say one thing, though the thing that really upset me about this attack was how personal it was. they really got us in the place that was most vulnerable >> seth: you mean pride month? >> no, i mean a u-haul [ laughter ] they tried to attack queer women by jumping out of a u-haul, the chosen form of transportation for lesbians [ laughter ] >> seth: wait. and i'm sorry, why is that, again? >> because we move in together very quickly we've been over this, seth >> seth: okay, yeah, sorry, sorry. i'm sorry. continue >> but the worst part of this whole thing is that these guys were gonna attack in khakis. that's our uniform
that's like if the nazis tried to catch the von trapps while wearing curtains [ laughter ] truly a low blow look, here's the thing it's pride month, and it's easy to feel sometimes like the fight for lgbtq-plus rights is over. but the arrest this weekend reminds us that queer people still need protection from state and federal governments and from our allies it shows us that there are people out there who think america is for a small, dorky few, instead of for everyone and worst of all, it shows us that you can't always trust a u-haul [ laughter ] >> seth: jenny hagel, everybody! [ cheers and applause thank you so much, jenny [ cheers and applause the first day of summer is june 21st, and tsa officials are predicting record-breaking travel while most people plan to -- >> ahh >> seth: aah i'm so sorry this is one of my writers, lutz. lutz, what are you doing >> i'm relaxing after a long day at working here at "late night."
i invited you to join me didn't you get the invite? >> seth: what invite >> check your phone. >> seth: i don't have my phone on me right now. >> weird wally, you got the invite, right? >> you bet your sweet bippy, i did. [ laughter ] >> seth: "you bet your sweet bippy" >> seth, it's what all the cool kids are saying >> come on, seth, let's have a heineken it's after work. >> seth: it is most definitely not after work we just started the show >> we did? >> seth: yeah? do you not see the audience? >> yeah, but i thought wally just invited all of them to hang, too. >> seth: you thought wally invited an entire audience to have a beer with just you guys >> yeah. [ cheers and applause hey, hey, hey! it seems like they wanted to do it, yes! whoo >> seth: please, i'm begging you, don't cheer for him >> aw, seth, come on i'm just trying to help you out. when you schedule time to block your calendar after work with up to three friends, heineken may send you some beer money via venmo towards your first round
that way, you can combat endless summer meetings and open some work life-balance on them. >> seth: that does sound pretty good >> you bet your sweet bippy. >> seth: oh, my god. [ laughter ] but maybe we could do this whole thing after the show >> or how about at the commercial break >> seth: alright, fine visit heineken.com/closer for beer money via venmo, plus other surprises for you and your friends this summer. >> and be cool like me wink [ cheers and applause and me wink >> seth: you guys don't need - i keep telling you, you don't need to say "wink" if you actually wink. >> oh. [ light laughter ] >> seth: we'll be right back with more "late night. [ cheers and applause ♪ attention please. millions of at&t and verizon customers are suffering from unexpected price hikes
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♪ [ cheers and applause >> seth: give it up for the 8g band, right over there, everybody! [ cheers and applause sitting in on drums with us this week, she's a multi-instrumentalist who recently toured with bartees strange and is featured on his new album, "farm to table." check out "bye for now," the latest e.p. from her own group, smile machine. for more information, find her over on instagram. jordyn blakely is here, everybody. thanks for being with us, jordyn [ cheers and applause
our first guest tonight is a very talented actor you know from movies such as "whiplash," the "divergent" franchise, and "top gun: maverick." you can see him in the limited series "the offer," which is streaming now on paramount plus, and also stars in "spiderhead," which begins streaming on netflix, june 17th let's take a look. >> mark, i mean, look man, i've been on some crazy-ass project teams, right but this one - this one doesn't feel right. >> jeff, you know, i sympathize, but only to a point. listen, i got to take off my friendship hat for a second, remind you, your presence in this facility, while technically a punishment, is a privilege, is it not you applied for it you were approved for it you'd just as easily be at stake with the general pop, and you really would be playing "pitch and catch" - in your case, catch -- with the likes of rogan. you don't even want to know what he did in his last prison. >> seth: please welcome back to the show miles teller, everybody. [ cheers and applause ♪
♪ >> seth: welcome back to the show, miles. i'm glad you're here >> how are we doing? >> seth: you have so many projects to talk about but i want to start, you had a real honor you grew up in south jersey, and you got to throw out a first pitch at a phillies game >> i did >> seth: were you nervous? >> i was pretty nervous. i tried to cancel it at the last minute >> seth: okay. >> because i was like, "i've done it before it just really adds another layer of stress to the day because you're doing interviews and you're --" >> seth: absolutely. i would say, to the week i did it exactly one time, and i would never, ever do it again. >> this is my second time. but i threw from the rubber, which that's a big thing >> seth: the first time, did you do front >> i did the rubber both times >> seth: the rubber is a big deal, to go from the rubber. >> and the photo they get is always like -- [ cheers and applause no, you don't have to clap on that. [ laughter ] it's just always - i always think of, like, judd apatow's photo and just the amount of, like, because you're
so nervous and you're trying so hard to -- >> seth: yeah, also, it's a face you very rarely see actual pitchers have. [ laughter ] i want to stress, mine is worse than this. i'm not judging. >> but i notice you didn't bring your photo >> seth: no, i didn't. [ laughter ] them's the rules [ talking over each other when you get to host, you don't bring the photos i'll tell you what i didn't get. was the bobblehead given out at the game you threw out the pitch? >> it was, yeah. >> now, that's pretty cool, right here you got a "top gun" bobblehead [ laughter ] i mean, just the co-branding [ cheers and applause >> i know. i know, that was pretty -- that was pretty sweet. as a diehard baseball fan and kind of that little bit of crossover was very nice. >> seth: there's some real nice details to it. and congrats on this movie, which -- you know, so "top gun," you finished in 2019, and i think it's been well-reported on that it was -- it was delayed until people could go back and see it in theaters. >> yeah. >> seth: did it feel great knowing you had this really exciting thing that people were eventually going to see? or were you just, like, chomping
at the bit, desperate for people to see it? >> i'd done a good amount of movies beforehand, and so i didn't i didn't feel like i needed this movie to ensure future work. [ laughter ] but some of the actors in it, you know, this was such a big showcase for them. and if anything, i really was just bummed for the fans, because the fans, we found, are just, like, insane they're so ravenous, and they've been waiting [ cheers and applause looks like we got some here. >> seth: yeah. >> i knew i could feel the "top gun" fans in the audience warmed up a little bit but, no, so, really, i was just bummed for the fans, and i couldn't wait for them to see it, because i knew -- as you've seen the movie, it's just been like it's been a rocket. >> seth: you're actually - [ cheers and applause again, much has been written about the fact that you guys were actually -- i had jon hamm here. he did not go up in a plane, he did nothing. >> he was in loafers i know. i know >> seth: but you were in these planes >> oh, yeah. >> seth: and was it awful? >> it was -- i'm not signing up to do it. even, like, i was at the
indy 500, and you know, the thunderbirds, who are amazing -- they fly in formation. everybody wants to take me up now and fly, and i'm like -- they go, "we can take you up when you're in las vegas." and i go, "honestly, there's not a place i'd want to go less than, like, not las vegas, but i'm saying i would not want to go up in your jet and fly in formation after being in las vegas. >> seth: that's a good point, right. you stay out late, and you're like, "what am i doing this morning? oh, no." >> yeah, yeah. [ light laughter ] oh, i forgot i said yes to that thing. that's not going to be good. >> seth: did you think you could fly a plane now, after being up there with pilots? i know you weren't doing the actual flying. >> it depends on who's in the plane. >> seth: yeah, that's a good point, right >> you know, like, if it's by myself and i had to, i'll bet onit but if i had to, like -- if it was my wife or, you know, my dog or my mom or something, i wouldn't want that responsibility, seth >> seth: i don't think i would be able to do it with my mom in the plane, just because i think she'd have a lot of like, "no, no, no." >> yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. [ laughter ]
it's like, "i did it in a movie, mom relax. >> seth: "you should relax you're going too fast! >> "fanboy," "fanboy." >> seth: what was your - didn't you have, like, an allergic reaction to a plane or something? >> i told you that in private, seth [ laughter ] no, i thought that's what we - yeah, i landed we got done -- they're called a sortie, basically, when you go up and you do some stuff. and so we landed, i'm just like, "i'm not feeling too good. and i was like, getting -- i was really hot, and i just started itching like crazy so i get out of the jet, and i'm just covered in hives, like, head to toe. i go to a doctor i do, like, a blood analysis now, whatever. i'm in an oatmeal bath that night. like, i have sensitive skin anyway, truth be told. like, irish-scottish skin. [ laughter ] no dyes, no nothing. just basic -anet some sun. >> seth: you get a little sun, yeah [ light laughter ] >> it's "top gun," baby. [ laughter ] >> seth: whoo! so, anyway, so, i go to the
doctor and my bloodwork comes back, and i have flame-retardant, pesticides, and jet fuel in my blood >> seth: oh, my god. >> so that's what i thought. but then i thought, "wait a second this is actually kinda cool. so then i go to set the next day, and tom's like, "so, how did it go, miles what did they find?" i was like, "well, tom, it turns out i have jet fuel in my blood. [ laughter ] and without even skipping a beat, tom just goes, "yeah, i was born with it, kid. [ laughter ] >> seth: there's your top gun. >> yeah. >> so, that was, like, a very tom moment for me. >> seth: now, your director also directed "spiderhead," correct which is really cool >> joseph kosinski >> seth: obviously did a great job with that. this is a very different kind of film this is based on a george saunders short story. one i love a great deal. >> yeah, so, it's based on the george saunders short story in "the new yorker," "escape from spiderhead." it's myself, it's chris hemsworth, it's jurnee smollett. joseph kosinski directing it and we filmed it during covid in
australia.llis a facility he's kind of half hippie, half mad scientist. all the inmates in this facility voluntarily go there instead of kind of going and serving prison time they're all criminals. and we are under the experimentation of chris hemsworth and a lot of different drugs. [ laughter ] and some are fun, some are terrifying and so that's kind of the premise, how we deal with inmates, too, and how we should deal with criminals. and if it's really about reformation, why are we putting them in a prison system where they don't - i don't think they come out of prison being, you know, model citizens i don't think that's really what our prison system is doing so there's some larger themes there. but, yeah, i mean, that's kind of the nuts and bolts. >> seth: yeah, it's a really -- it's really cool [ cheers and applause and like we said with the introduction, you've been so busy "the offer," i'm enjoying a great deal this is about the making of "the godfather." and it's incredible, this movie
i've seen so many times, how little i knew about all the hurdles leading up to making it. it must have been such a cool project. going into it, did you know this backstory? >> not really. i think i knew a little bit about how they didn't want al pacino, but i didn't know they didn't want francis ford coppola, they didn't want marlon brando. >> seth: studio executives sometimes nail it, yeah. [ laughter ] >> and so it was just, yeah, there were a lot of obstacles. but the biggest one that i realized was the mob the mafia, to shoot in new york, they really did control all the teamsters. they were the teamsters in new york so they talk about they would go into a building, like in little italy or whatever it is, they'd come out and all their equipment would be gone. so you really did kind of have to have, like, a handshake with the mafia, because they didn't want "the godfather" to be made, because they said the mafia is a word that's, you know, keeping italian-american immigrants down you know, in this movie, it's only going to make us look like savages. we're not. we're proud people and et cetera, et cetera
so, also in the movie, the word "mafia" doesn't exist one time they took that out of the script, and that was a big reason why they were able to get it made, actually. >> seth: that's incredible, because you definitely knew it was about the mafia, even without the word in there. >> yeah. [ laughter ] i know >> seth: yeah, they were like, "don't worry, i took care of it. nobody's gonna know. [ laughter ] it's a great show. you're wonderful in it hey, thanks so much for making time for us. >> my pleasure >> seth: we really appreciate it. [ cheers and applause miles teller, everybody. the finale of "the offer" will be released thursday on paramount plus, and "spiderhead" begins streaming june 17th on netflix. we'll be right back with busy phillipps [ cheers and applause ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ (sha bop sha bop) ♪ ♪ are the stars out tonight? (sha bop sha bop) ♪ ♪ ♪
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she stars in the second season of "girls5eva," which is streaming now on peacock let's take a look. >> kev i'm going on a tour. you're gonna stay with stevia. >> no, i'm not to be trusted >> you'll figure it out. just like i had to when you went to tampa hey! listen to me be her best friend, not her parent win her heart through possessions. and find out what she's up to by posing as an older, very cool, cgi shapewear ceo on tiktok. i'll give you the account and the password i made up also - >> can i get paper >> seth: please welcome back to the show our friend busy philipps, everybody [ cheers and applause ♪ ♪ >> hi! >> seth: busy, i'm so happy to have you back. >> oh, my god, i'm so happy to
be here. >> seth: and you're a new yorker this time. >> this is it, seth. i live in new york >> seth: you live in new york city now. >> i do! [ cheers and applause >> seth: because we last talked via zoom in 2020, and you were still a los angelino >> here's what i'm gonna say >> seth: yeah. >> none of this was on my bingo card >> seth: okay. >> if you had paid anyone that knows me millions of dollars to say, "will busy ever live in new york," they would say no >> seth: yeah. >> and they would lose the bet, but here we are. because tina fey called me and said, "do you want to do this tv show? and i was like, "yeah, obviously. [ light laughter ] >> seth: and then you -- i mean, you could have gone back in between seasons. you dug it >> well -- >> seth: admit you dig it. >> here's what i'm gonna say we have teens now, like preteen teenagers. >> seth: yeah. >> and i really feel like new york offers a thing that los angeles doesn't, which isn't to say that l.a. doesn't have culture, but it's just a different culture.
do you know what i mean? >> seth: i think the thing about new york culture is if you just walk down the street, you're gonna get a fair share of it >> you get it. i've gotten it in my face. >> seth: yep >> i've gotten it on my shoes. i kicked a rat once, i mean. >> seth: you did did you apologize? >> oh, always. "sir, sir, i'm so sorry, sir." >> seth: because the rats in your neighborhood know the other rats, and then if you get a bad reputation - >> yeah. >> seth: now, your kids, birdie and cricket. >> yes >> seth: so, they are enjoying it >> yeah, they love it. >> seth: okay. they don't miss l.a. >> no, they actually, like, don't miss l.a >> seth: that's really nice. >> yeah, it is nice. >> seth: do they -- i've asked about this, and have you introduced them to past work i mean, do they watch "girls5eva"? >> yeah. well, no well, okay so, you guys know -- i mean, i've been an actor since i was like a kid, basically. i was 19 years old when i did "freaks and geeks. [ cheers and applause i am about to turn 43! and that's true.
that's true, i'm about to turn 43 do you find that, like -- i just almost said 41 because i turned 40 right before the pandemic, and in my head i just was like, i'm about to turn 41 and you wouldn't have known, and i could have just done it. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> anyway. >> seth: they should have passed a law that none of the birthdays during the pandemic counted. >> i don't think they did! >> seth: yeah. >> i mean, they didn't count >> seth: everybody's like, "forgive student loans." forgive my two birthdays >> seth! forgive my two birthdays so, i'm about to turn 41, i've been acting since i was 19, and i have these two kids. and i've been trying - my kids love tv. they love shows. and birdie, especially if you have a teenager, you know this -- like, they love to watch old shows. >> and i'm like, "guess what i'm on?" [ laughter ] i'm on "dawson's creek" and "freaks and geeks. [ cheers and applause not interested not interested >> seth: no, really? >> no, no. >> seth: because they don't like the show or because they don't want to see you? >> it's me >> seth: okay. >> 100% it's me. i tried to show cricket, who's
our almost 9-year-old, "girls5eva." she watched it for two seconds you guys just saw the clip i hope you're watching the show because it's really funny. and she said, "your voice is really weird on this i don't like it at all." and i was like, "okay. but so anyways, so birdie's been like, emphatically no, has watched -- the last time we talked, it was birdie's birthday in the pandemic, and i got all my friends who are on "brooklyn nine-nine" to, like, do a little video for birdie at home that's because i've been in tv since i was a child. i know everyone. >> seth: that's very nice. >> anyway. and like, yeah, so she's watched "the office," "brooklyn nine-nine," "parks and rec." she loves you. she loves everyone except for, like, hasn't watched anything i'm on [ laughter ] and i've tried, and she won't do it, and then last night -- they won't do it last night, birdie had a friend over and i invited them to come down for dinner, and they did, and of course sat in front of the tv. and i was, like, preparing
things in the kitchen and then i heard the theme from "freaks and geeks. >> seth: wow >> and i was like, "is it happening? [ laughter ] like, "be cool, be cool. "what are you guys watching!?" and birdie was like, "bevan wanted to see you on tv, so we turned on "freaks and geeks. and i was like, "that's cool, yeah." [ laughter ] and it was so weird. that's me. i was 19 and birdie goes -- and i'm not kidding you -- "you talk really weird on this show." [ laughter ] and i was like, "okay. and so anyway, they watched it, and then at a certain point, the girl came to do my nails for your show. and i was like, "okay, i got to go get my nails done." and birdie just took the controller and was like, "we've seen enough. [ laughter ] >> seth: you've got to wait for you to leave you were leaving the room anyway wait for you to leave. >> it was the point! you know, the cruelty is the point! >> seth: oh, yes i hope -- well, you know, hopefully she's gonna look past the fact that she hates seeing
you on tv to watch me tonight, and will hear that you're being very mean to your mother [ laughter ] now, you know, one of -- we talked about culture, but obviously broadway and i'm wondering if birdie or cricket likes going to broadway shows and if you take them >> well, i would, but again, it's been a pandemic and so, and i've been on a tv show and i don't want to get people sick with covid >> seth: right, of course. >> but i did -- like, things are opening back up and we actually got covid, so now i feel a little bit better about it and you know that feel - i mean, you all know that feeling, right [ laughter ] >> seth: well, the right after is pretty not bad. >> well, that's what it -- that's where we're at. >> seth: oh, you're the right after. oh, my god, live your best life, yeah >> so, i've been wanting to see "a strange loop," which is this amazing show that just won a tony >> seth: yeah. [ applause ] >> and i knew nothing about it, but i was like, just got to see the show, and so i bought tickets and i'm like, "birdie, we're going to the show on saturday night." and i saw on instagram that sara bareilles, who's on "girls5eva" with me and also is just a big star in her own right, and i just follow her on
instagram for that reason, was at the show. and so i texted her, "oh, i'm so excited. i'm taking birdie tonight. and sara wrote back, "dot, dot, dot. and i was like, "what's that mean?" and sara was like, "do you know what it's about, babe? like, "it's, like, pretty mature." and i was like, "well, birdie's like a teenager. it's going to be fine. and then sara calls me and she's like, "uh, no, busy. like, in the show, in the first song, they say there's going to be butt [bleep] onstage, and they deliver." [ laughter ] >> seth: they don't over-promise >> they don't disappoint and i was like, "oh. oh, no well, what do i do?" well, birdie watches "bridgerton," but not with me. so i had this whole dilemma. and so then i was like, you know what communication is key i'm like, "birdie, the show that i'm really excited to take you to, this is the situation. sara bareilles told me that this happens onstage, and birdie's like, "yeah, no, we're good. i'm not going to go to that with
you. [ light laughter ] >> seth: yeah. that was it? >> and that was it and then i took my friend, and it was great >> seth: that's great. >> it's an amazing show. >> seth: alright that's great but maybe not for new teenagers. >> well, i would just say that like we don't watch "bridgerton" sitting next to each other do you know what i mean? >> seth: yeah. >> no child, no matter how - like, evolved and communicative you are with your teenagers, wants to watch sex with your mom, even if your mom is me and you're so cool [ laughter ] >> seth: well, if there's any message to take away, let it be that that's parenting advice from busy philipps, everybody "girls5eva" is available now on peacock. we'll be right back with more "late night. [ applause ] ♪ in our world. pet dinosaur? i'll take care of you. ♪ ♪ [ growling ] [ screaming ] [ growling ]
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it's anna gomez! who? our first gigillionaire! with at&t fiber, anna's got the fastest internet with hyper-gig speeds. i didn't know you went to this school. we have a lot in common. live like a gigillionaire with at&t fiber. now with speeds up to 5-gigs. limited availability. ♪♪ ♪♪ tú tienes el toque... now go and deja tu huella. it's a cheetos thing. ♪ [ cheers and applause >> seth: welcome back to "late night," everybody. you know, a lot of news agencies provide the best and worst case
scenarios for various news stories, but rarely do they provide a scenario that involves swarms of deadly bees attacking humanity well, we here at "late night" have solved that problem with our new segment, "best-case scenario, worst-case scenario, and one with bees. [ laughter ] first topic, the midterm elections. the best case for democrats, the party is able to overcome the polls and limit their expected losses while maintaining a hold on the house and the senate. worst case, the party loses congressional control and dooms biden's agenda for the remainder of his term. or - ♪ [ laughter ] the bees come. first, it's just a single bee attacking a farmer in decatur. then a swarm, and another swarm, and another, until bees are pouring from the skies cities everywhere are besieged by bees. it is unsafe to leave the house. there is no one outside. nothing. only bees. [ laughter ]
next topic, elon musk's plan to buy twitter. best case for musk, he's able to buy twitter for a price lower than his $44 billion bid worst case, musk ends up in a protracted battle with twitter's board, endangering both his funding and tesla's stock. or bees. [ laughter ] ♪ bees everywhere. bees in streets, bees in schools, bees in fields. the sun is blotted out by scores of bees. military-grade pesticide slows them down, briefly but they return. faster and deadlier. they amass into a behemoth and face the full might of the u.s. army. explosions, carnage, mayhem. and then - nothing. [ laughter ] [ bees buzzing ] only buzzing ceaseless buzzing. the melody of doom [ bees buzzing ]
next up, new covid variants. best case, like the 1918 flu pandemic, covid-19 mutates into a seasonal variant that, most years, isn't too deadly. worst case, more highly transmissible variants emerge that increasingly evade antiviral treatments or, 19 years ♪ [ laughter ] 19 years have passed since the bees came. the survivors move through tunnels, sustaining themselves on expired cans of beans and drippings of raw honey from the surface world. there is no hope until henry. young henry, a boy evolved with the power of flight, a waxy exoskeleton, and a stinger he must journey to the supreme hive, because maybe he can finally end this waking nightmare. next up, the e.u. just imposed a partial embargo on russian crude oil and petroleum products
best case scenario, the oil embargo manages to end the conflict in ukraine while also serving as a wake-up call for western governments to invest in developing renewable energy. worst case, the embargo results in larger economic slumps and upheavals, which ultimately emboldens putin. or, the supreme hive ♪ [ light laughter ] henry has arrived, but he is not alone. the bee butcher of davenport, the man who's killed millions of bee-kind -- he knows this is a suicide mission, but he wasn't going to let the kid come alone. our heroes make their way into the prismatic den to face the queen. in an instant, she beckons thousands of bees to attack henry, but the butcher the butcher jumps in front of him. the butcher incinerates thousands of bees, but he can only hold them off for so long before they overtake him the butcher! the bees have taken him, like they have taken so much. damn you, you winged freaks! henry flies at the queen, and she at him, stingers exposed [ laughter ] this is it two stings
for a moment, it is unclear, and then the queen falls from the air. she is dead. millions of leaderless drones collapse to the ground their reign is over. henry knows that without a stinger, there is only so long he can live. he has saved mankind but as he looks at his fallen comrade, he realizes that, while the butcher may have taught him to become a man, did he not also learn how to become a bee? [ laughter ] and before it all fades, he lets out one final breath buzzzzzzzzzzz. buzzzzzzzzzzz. ♪ this was "best case, worst case, and one with bees.
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[ cheers and applause ♪ >> seth: our next guest is a talented writer and actress who stars in "rutherford falls" on peacock. all episodes of the second season premiere thursday, june 16th. let's take a look. >> i'm not drinking all this this is like a kiddie pool >> there's all kinds of life hacks to help you optimize - cold showers, random sprints, calibrating chews per bite i'll send you some articles. >> the last thing i need is homework telling me how to do more homework. i need a real support staff. i'm doing the work of three people >> the revamp drained us we should be cutting budgets, not expanding them but i might have something that could solve your problems. >> is it the water >> the water, yes. >> mm-hmm. >> seth: please welcome to the show jana schmieding, everybody!
[ cheers and applause ♪ ♪ >> seth: hi, jana! i'm so happy you're here >> oh, my gosh i'm so happy to be here. this is wild >> seth: this is very exciting what do you have >> i have a gift for you >> seth: oh, my god, that's so nice >> i consulted your friend and my e.p. of "rutherford falls," mike schur >> seth: mike schur, who created this show and many others. >> yes, many others. and he said you were a boston red sox fan, so i beaded you - >> seth: you beaded me a hat look at that it's gorgeous. now, is beading -- [ cheers and applause is beading something that you often do, and did you take to it right away gorgeous >> ugh, it looks so dang good. >> seth: so dang good. look at that >> god yes, i am an avid beader i have been beading since i was eight years old. it is a traditional art form that the lot of native people do and i am -
>> seth: were you good at it right away as an 8-year-old? >> no! >> seth: okay. >> i don't even think i'm that good at it now >> seth: oh. well, then i don't want this [ laughter ] >> yeah! it's trash >> seth: so, "rutherford falls" is a show that has not only native representation in the writer's room but on camera, and i think what's unique about it is it represents native people in a modern setting, because i feel like more often than not when we see native people on screen, it's about the past. >> yes, we as a people are often trapped by the industry in the past, and are depicted through sort of a white lens as existing in the past, and it's actually, the statistics are pretty staggering about what america knows about native people, about indigenous populations i think it's something like 80% of people don't know that native people still exist that's the -- yeah, it's wild.
it's bad >> seth: what happens -- do you find that there is sort of a uniform reaction when you tell people that you are native >> yeah, well, a lot of people like to say, "me too." [ laughter ] "so am i." >> seth: i'm sorry, and this is white people >> yeah. >> seth: oh, no. >> uh-huh, uh-huh. a lot of white people. i'm not going to take a poll in here, but i bet half of you believe you're cherokee. [ laughter ] >> seth: is cherokee the go-to for white people who - >> it is i don't -- i feel so bad for the cherokee nation. [ laughs ] they have a lot of, you know, sort of self-identifying members of their tribal nation >> seth: the other amazing thing is you were hired as a writer on this show first, yes and then you were cast as the lead in this show, and the co-lead with ed helms, i should say. and also i read that this was going to be it for you you were about to hang it up and leave l.a. >> oh, yeah.
i moved to l.a. from new york in the attempt to write for television, and all of my samples, my writing samples centered around a native woman protagonist, and it wasn't getting anywhere i mean, i was applying for all of the fellowships, sending my script to austin film festival, being like, "oh, this is getting in, baby!" [ light laughter ] i was so confident, and didn't get a single bite. and so, by 2019, late 2019, i was really frustrated. i was starting to, like, internalize the messaging that i was getting that either i'm not a good writer or people aren't interested in native women in comedy and i was like, "if i don't get staffed, you know, in early 2020, i'm throwing in the towel, man! i'm packing it up. and i was planning to just move back to oregon with my parents and, i don't know, work at a bar? >> seth: wow well, this worked out fantastic. >> it really did >> seth: it should be noted that on your way, like a lot of
people on your journey to try to make it in this business, you were in new york for a while, and you were trying to make comedy and also teaching in the bronx. what kind of teacher were you? >> i was a humanities teacher in middle school and high school. >> seth: alright >> yeah. [ cheers and applause >> seth: did your students know their teacher was trying to have a career in comedy at the time >> well, yes i kind of kept it private for the most part while i was a teacher, but in the last year i was sort of like, "whatever, man, i'm trying to be a star, guys." [ laughter ] >> seth: well, i'm very glad that it worked out, and that maybe you weren't the best teacher, but i think they will see you as a message >> it's so true. >> seth: that anybody can be what they dream to be. >> that's right. i wasn't the best teacher. [ laughter ] >> seth: well, obviously, you have found the path that is best suited to you, and thank you so much for being here. it's such a delight, and thank you for the hat! >> thank you >> seth: you guys, that's jana schmieding. all episodes of the second season of "rutherford falls" with her and ed helms, premiere
thursday, june 16th. we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ♪ and now most admired alum! get up there. this is so embarrassing. there's no way it's me. you know her.... you love her.... ruh roh. what are you doing here? it's anna gomez! who? our first gigillionaire! with at&t fiber, anna's got the fastest internet with hyper-gig speeds. i didn't know you went to this school. we have a lot in common. live like a gigillionaire with at&t fiber.
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