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tv   Late Night With Seth Meyers  NBC  January 19, 2022 12:37am-1:37am PST

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[ cheers and applause ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers. tonight -- jeremy irons - star of "how i met your father," actress hilary duff. comedian jeff wright featuring the 8g band with daniel fang. ♪ [ cheers and applause and now, seth meyers >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night. we're back in the studio we hope you're doing well, and now we're going to get to the news president biden is reportedly planning to communicate more directly with the american people in an effort to increase
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his poll numbers, so you might want to switch to the unlimited plan uh-huh, yeah build back better, right no, okay yeah, yeah no, amtrak's great listen, i have to be, like, up in like four hours [ laughter ] house democrats are reportedly urging party leaders to abandon president biden's build back better bill and instead break up the proposals into a series of smaller defeats. [ laughter ] the senate today took up debate on a house-passed voting rights package that combines the freedom to vote act and the john r. lewis voting rights advancement act. of course, it's already dead in the water thanks to can't act and won't act. [ laughter ] in a new interview, political strategist james carville said democrats should, quote, "just quit being a whiny party and get out there and fight and tell people what you did. said democrats, "eh, that sounds hard!" [ laughter ] former new york mayor bill de blasio announced today that he will not run for governor he then announced something
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else, but no one heard it over the thunderous applause. [ laughter ] a video gained attention online over the weekend of oklahoma pastor mike todd spitting in his hand and rubbing it onto his brother's eyes during a sermon which is weird for a pastor, but very on-brand for an older brother. [ laughter ] health officials in greece yesterday imposed a vaccine mandate for all citizens over 60 years old. so, if you're a 60-year-old in greece, you're rizzo [ light laughter ] [ laughter ] i had a very depressing thing just happen where i -- you know, there was one person enthusiastically liked it and i'm like, "well, at least there's one audience member here worth their salt!" [ laughter ] then i turned around, and it was amber. [ laughter ] it was -- it was our writer, amber ruffin and now i'm starting to think you didn't even laugh at the joke
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knowing amber, you were laughing at how it went you're out of the pink ladies! [ laughter ] alright, i never do this during the show, but we're going to stop it all down and make everybody watch "grease. [ laughter ] a man -- [ laughs a man in south dakota was arrested recently after his mother served brownies that he made with marijuana butter at a senior center. caretakers became suspicious when that night's comedian got laughs [ laughter ] the fda last week approved the first treatment to control arthritis pain for cats. it will replace the old treatment -- a brick and a burlap sack. [ laughter and boos we gotta clear the palate! [ laughter ] and fi -- [ laughs ]
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and finally, according to a new study, men who live alone for years are at a greater risk of developing inflammation. it's just a lot of stress to put on one wrist [ laughter ] makes you reassess the dead cat joke, though [ laughter ] that was a monologue we got a great show for you tonight! [ cheers and applause we got a great show. he is an oscar, emmy, and tony-winning actor never won a grammy, though [ laughter ] let's just not bring it up tonight. he's currently starring in "munich: the edge of war," which is out now the fantastic jeremy irons will be back on the show. [ cheers and applause you know her from "lizzie mcguire" and "younger. she stars in the new series "how i met your father. hilary duff will be joining us [ cheers and applause you guys, we are very deeply
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excited about tonight's stand-up he's a writer here on our show, and you may have also seen him on "the amber ruffin show" on peacock. jeff wright will be performing for us but before we get to all that, we do not always have enough time to cover all of the recent news, so here with the recap is one of our writers, amber ruffin, in a segment we call "amber says what? ♪ [ cheers and applause >> hey, you guys things have been crazy okay, so everyone was like, "covid is slowing down, you can hang out with your friends." and i was like, "what?!" then omicron hit and they were like, "stop hanging out with your friends." and i was like, "what?!" omicron got everybody, especially in late-night james corden got it, and i was like, "what?!" jimmy fallon got it, and i was like, "what?!" then seth meyers got it, and i was like "whaaaaa? seth, were you kissing jimmy fallon [ laughter ]
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>> seth: mind ya business. >> i knew it then while we were all working from home, everyone we loved died, and i'm barely exaggerating betty white died, and i was like, "what?!" sidney poitier died, and i was like, "what?!" then bob saget died, and i was like, "what?"! oh, my gosh, all of our favorites are dying. then robert durst was like, "i died too," and i was like, "no, robert durst this is not about you! do not try to sneak in there while we're mourning beloved americans. shame on you!" then machine gun kelly and megan fox got engaged, and i was like, "what? that's fantastic!" i for one cannot wait to see pictures of their smooth, angular children then i read about it and they were like, "we got engaged and then we drank each other's blood. and i was like, "what?!" [ laughter ] why do you have to ruin everything you don't need each other's blood. what is wrong with you you might [ bleep ] around and get a taste for human blood. is that what you want? just reckless.
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i wouldn't let someone drink some of my margarita, let alone some of my blood which, by the way, is mostly margarita. then something horrible happened jason momoa and lisa bonet split after being together for 16 years and i was like, "what?!" i'm devastated but not for them -- for me like all americans, i desperately wanted them to make me the third in their open marriage. and now i am in mourning did somebody say mourning? not now, robert durst! also, let's talk about lisa bonet's extremely high standards. she married lenny kravitz and then jason momoa who is she going to marry next a beam of light? lucky beam of light. then new york mayor eric adams hired his brother to be in charge of security, and everyone was like, "what?!" but i was like, "what? my sister lacey is the head of my security detail she's keeping me secure right now. >> hey
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you want me to throw this guy out of here? >> seth: it's my show. >> no, lacey, he's my little friend >> oh, yay >> yay then the golden globes happened and i was like, "what? where? when and, most importantly, what?!" why was it a secret, and who won? i looked it up, and you're never gonna believe it best actress - amber mildred ruffin and then best supporting actress went to amber mildred ruffin best late-night segment went to "amber says what," which beat "a closer look" by 6,547 votes. >> seth: hey >> don't make me throw you out of here. >> seth: alright, okay okay, lacey. >> then speaking of award shows, okay, so after three years of going without a host, the oscars are finally going to get one yay! and as the winner of the golden globe for hostiest host, i think i should be the one to do it. shoot, if christian siriano makes me a dress, i'll do that [ bleep ] for free hear me, christian call me!
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then, you will never guess what happened they put maya angelou on the quarter! i saw that and was like, "what, what?! yes! they put a woman on the quarter. it better not be worth 20 cents. now, i cannot wait to get my maya angelou quarter it really is like she always said - [ as angelou ] "people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget you're on a shiny coin in their pocket." [ laughter ] then the fda deregulated french dressing, and i was like, "what? why were they regulating french dressing in the first place? so, it turns out there were certain ingredients you had to have to qualify as french dressing, but now anything goes. and i'm like, "whoo, what? wait, what are they going to put in it, something illegal so if that's true, i demand the illegal version. it is my right to have pure, uncut french dressing, and i'll settle for nothing less.
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then i found out that a huge asteroid is going to pass extremely close to earth today, and i was like, "what?!" and i just want to say that if this is our last day of existence, i'mma be so sad because i don't want to die without trying that uncut french dressing i want it! then i watched the new season of "euphoria" and i was like -- [ cheers and applause oh, i know i was like, "what a smart decision i made to not have children." [ laughter ] those gross little children. the only thing those babies should be putting up their noses is a covid test. then everyone has been doing bits about "euphoria" on twitter, talking about how those kids dress like, "this is how i dress for school," and then it's them normal clothes and then they're like, "this is how i dress for school at euphoria high," and it's them dressed to go to the club. and, oh, those were so funny that we were going to do a bit about it, but then i decided we're not. >> seth: we're not [ laughter ] >> no. >> seth: well, why didn't you tell me? >> that's it
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you're out of here >> seth: alright >> this has been "amber says what?" [ cheers and applause >> seth: amber ruffin, everyone. check out "the amber ruffin show" on peacock new episodes return after the olympics we'll be -- i just have to do this part. we'll be right back with jeremy irons >> i said go >> seth: alright, i'm going! [ cheers and applause ♪ six days of the week, when you steal a fry from your friend,
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♪ [ cheers and applause >> seth: give it up for the fantastic 8g band. back with us tonight, he's an exciting young drummer from baltimore, maryland, and a founding member of the punk bands turnstile, angel dust, and praise hailed as one of the best talents of 2021 by "rolling stone," npr, and more, be sure to check out turnstile's new record "glow on. daniel fang is here with us. thanks so much for being with us, daniel our first guest tonight is an oscar, emmy, and tony-winning actor you know from movies like "reversal of fortune" and "the lion king" as well as shows like "brideshead revisited" and "watchmen. he stars in "munich: the edge of war," which is in theaters now and available on netflix january 21st let's take a look. >> every time i -- pass a war memorial or visit one of those vast cemeteries in france where so many of my friends lie buried, i vow that if i find myself in the position where i can prevent such a catastrophe
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from happening again, i shall do anything sacrifice anything >> seth: please welcome back to the show jeremy irons. how are you, jeremy? >> i'm good, seth. very nice to see you >> seth: it's wonderful to see you, too i will admit, i was holding out hope that you would be zooming with us from your castle in ireland. we discussed this last time you were on. i hope you don't mind. i don't know many people with castles, so i hope you don't mind >> i'm sorry, seth yeah, i would have gone over there, but - no, i'm at an unknown location in london, separated from you by a lot of water, sadly. i would like to be there with you to get the full impact of that smile >> seth: thank you >> but, no, i'm here >> seth: i know, my smile does wane a little bit over zoom, but it's in full force >> no, it's good >> seth: for those who don't know, these are beautiful photos of your castle in ireland that were in "vanity fair."
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and i do hope it's a real dog of yours, and not just a prop dog >> it's a real dog in fact, she's here. yeah, she's outside looking at the foxes, or trying to catch a fox. >> seth: that's why. that would be what i would want them to do now, this is a very exciting development. jeremy, let me be clear. for most people i would be very jealous that they have their own castle, but i'm very happy that you have your own. >> thank you, seth >> seth: and now, you've also bought an island near the castle >> how do you know that? >> seth: i was on zillow for islands. >> all right yes, i have. a very small island with a little cottage on it i can just about swim there from the castle it's about 100 meters. >> seth: i would say just about is the worst possible distance >> well, yeah, i - well, my wife can swim there >> seth: okay. as long as there's someone to throw you a line from close enough >> yeah. >> seth: and are you gonna put livestock on your island
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>> i am. i'm gonna put some carey ponies and some galloway cattle just to sort of eat it down. so, i'm farming a little bit more now than acting, but -- >> seth: as long as you find time for both, we're very satisfied. >> yeah. by the way, i've just finished work with your brother -- with mike >> seth: oh, well, mike is not my brother, but -- >> no, he is he said he was >> seth: he did say he was >> he did, he did. when he rang me up and asked me to do his show -- it's called -- he said, "i'm seth's brother." i said, "oh, hello, mike yeah, right. and that was why i did it -- because i thought he was your -- but he's not >> seth: he's a distant brother. >> is he >> seth: twice removed >> well, that's the only reason i did it >> seth: well, it's too late now, sir >> all right okay, okay you look very alike. >> seth: yeah, we're very similar. >> yeah. >> seth: very similar. here is my final question -- i
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promise, this is my final question about the castle. but i imagine there's a lot of upkeep you deal with a lot of local tradespeople are they aware that you are an actor? are they aware of your work? >> they are. >> seth: okay. >> they are. i remember when we were building it - we built the castellation on the top. that's the bit that goes up and down, you know and we very carefully planned it, and we'd done models, and all of that. and when i looked at it -- when it was finally built and i looked at it, i thought, "it's wrong. it's too small." so, one of my friends said, "well, i'm not telling the builder. you go up there. so, i climbed up 13 floors of scaffolding, and i got to the top and i said, "this is wonderful, guys. this is wonderful, what you've built, but actually, take it down." we've got to make it bigger, because it's not strong enough it doesn't look strong enough. and he looked at me, and he said, "you know, the trouble with working with bloody actors are the bloody rehearsals. and he did -- he knocked it down, and we built it again.
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so, they do know they do know i'm an actor. they put up with it, though. >> seth: now, this is a wonderful film you played neville chamberlin -- prime minister neville chamberlin during the munich conference. this is obviously a very famous, historical moment, and yet, i feel like we see so many films about winston churchill, and almost none with neville chamberlin this is perhaps a kinder portrayal of him and how he was strategizing about dealing with hitler than we've seen before. did that make it more interesting, that it was a different neville chamberlin >> yeah, it did. you see, we know about neville chamberlin because of what churchill's written churchill wrote the history of the war, and he and neville were -- they were competitors, politically. and churchill always wanted to go to war in '37, '38. chamberlin knew we weren't ready and so was trying to put it off, put it off, trying to make peace. after all, the first world war had only been 20 years before.
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they didn't want to go to war again. so, as a result, churchill thought of him as a weak man; as an appeaser; as somebody who was taken in by hitler whereas, in fact, he was a strategist, and he gave us another year so we could build up more of an air force; so we could discover radar during that year, which really helped us win. with your help - not yours personally, but, you know >> seth: oh, thank you jeremy, thank you! >> your parents knew get-up-and-go americans like seth meyers and mike meyers. >> seth: yeah, exactly >> so, really, had he not appeased -- had he not had the munich conference -- we would have gone to war a year earlier. we probably would have lost immediately, because we had no real defenses at that point. >> seth: well, it's a fascinating story, and when we come back, i have some questions
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about your past and how you were almost - >> where are you going >> seth: what's that >> you said you would come back. from where where are you going? >> seth: well, i miss my brother, and i want to call him. >> okay, okay. >> seth: we'll be right back with more from jeremy irons. [ cheers and applause ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ it wasn't me by shaggy ♪
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we had a sort of cadet corps, and i got to the top i was, can you believe, a regimental sergeant major, which was the real gear. loads of stuff hanging off me, and epaulets and sashes and things and i was extremely fierce, and so they thought, "he'll go into the paratroopers or something, and fall out of airplanes. but i didn't want to what they hadn't realized was the only reason i did this cadet training was it got me away from school it got me out in the mountains in fact, there was one time when they -- i'd left, 'cause you could leave when you were 16 or something. and i was 16 and a half and they said, "listen, would you come back to this camp? will you run this summer camp in brecon beacons, which are mountains in wales?" and i said, "oh, god." i said, "i'll do a deal. if you give me a jeep and a section of about seven men, and let me be a sort of terrorist for all your great, great
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operations" -- where thousands of boys have to sort of walk on their stomachs through brush and in the middle of the night - it's horrible, and with rifles and things -- i said, "if you let me break up that and capture people and take them off in the jeep, i'll do that." and we had a most wonderful week wonderful week [ laughter ] but it was just really to get away from school that was why i went. >> seth: that is one of the most loveliest, sadistic stories i've ever heard [ light laughter ] >> yeah, yeah, well -- >> seth: so you also -- you also looked at a life in the circus >> i wanted -- i wanted to be a gypsy. i didn't want to spend any more time with the sort of people i'd been educated with, who were all going on to be bankers or military or businesspeople, and i thought, "i can't bear these people." and so, "i want to be a gypsy. i want to travel."
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and i played guitar, and i used to busk in london's west end, and earn my money that way and i thought, "the circus or the carnival, maybe that would be great i can travel around with this group of colorful people and ride horses or be a trapeze artist or something. and so then i went and i looked at the accommodation i went to a circus and i went to a carnival and looked at where they lived and they live in these sort of caravans which had doors at the side, and you go up these steps and go in and there's four people one, two, three, four. that's where they lived. i said, "well, i'm too middle-class for this. i -- need a house. i need a mortgage, i think." [ laughter ] so then i looked at the theater, and i got a job in a theater and saw how i liked that and it was sort of similar, in a way, in that you worked odd hours. you know, you worked in the evening. but i love the people, i love the smells, and so then i thought i better go and learn to
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do it. so then i went off to theater school >> seth: when they showed you the housing at the circus, did you say, "i was hoping for something a little bit more -- [ laughter ] a little bit more like --" >> yeah, that's right. >> seth: you mentioned busking and playing guitar in the west end. you know, that's a way to make money, but what were you doing you were just sort of walking around, or were you in one location, did you move around? >> no, it was very hard because the location you have to get there early, and then people come and kick you off sometimes. but it's cinema queues, basically, i would do. cinema queue, you could make sort of five pounds, six pounds. and in those days i was earning two pounds, 10 a week. so, to earn five pounds in half an hour was like nirvana, and it was, of course, also a wonderful way to pick up girls >> seth: oh, perfect >> meet girls anyway >> seth: i haven't gotten a chance to speak to you since sort of the show of a couple years ago, "watchmen," finished. >> right
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>> seth: and it was such a wonderful show, and i'm wondering -- you know, for someone like you, who maybe didn't know the comic book, did you understand what you were getting into when you took on that role? >> i didn't have a clue. i had no clue, from beginning to end, what i was doing. i met our writer, our showrunner, fantastic man. we had a lunch in los angeles, and he talked for two hours, and i understood nothing of what he was saying [ laughter ] but what i saw was huge enthusiasm and huge intelligence and huge imagination i thought, "well, i don't know what we're going to do, but this is going to be really interesting. it was not going to be boring. i could tell that. so i said, "yes, i'll do it. but while we were shooting, i had not a clue actually, when i watched it, i didn't understand much of it, either [ laughter ] >> seth: as someone who understood it, i just thought you were fantastic [ laughter ] >> oh, good. >> seth: hey, thank you for being here, jeremy it's always such a pleasure. next time, in person >> yes, sir. take care. good night, good night >> seth: jeremy irons, everybody.
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"munich: the edge of war" is in theaters now and available on netflix january 21st we'll be right back with hilary duff. [ cheers and applause ♪ ♪ ♪making your way in the world today♪ ♪takes everything you've got♪ ♪ ♪taking a break from all your worries ♪ ♪sure would help a lot ♪ ♪wouldn't you like to get away? ♪ ♪ ♪ sometimes you want to go ♪ ♪where everybody knows your name ♪ ♪ ♪and they're always glad you came ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause >> seth: our next guest is a talented musician and actress you know from shows such as "lizzie mcguire" and "younger. she both produces -- [ cheers and applause yeah "brideshead revisited" didn't do as hot [ laughter ] she both produces and stars in "how i met your father," which is available on hulu, with new episodes releasing on tuesday. let's take a look. >> oh, i'm so happy you're home! i missed you so much >> we don't have time for "i miss yous. how was your date with ian was he tall? >> yes >> was he a good listener?
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>> yes >> were his eyes as kind as his photo? >> yes >> whoo-oo why aren't you jumping >> because he's moving to australia. yeah >> soph, i am so sorry did you bang one out anyway? >> seth: please welcome back to the show hilary duff hello, hilary! [ cheers and applause >> hi, seth meyers how are you? >> seth: it's so lovely to see you. >> oh, my gosh, thank you so much. so happy to be on the show again. what took you four years to invite me back, huh? >> seth: i know. it's really odd. i'm gonna take it up with the talent department. i'm pretty upset [ laughter ] you haven't -- let me just say this it's been four years you haven't aged a day you look fantastic [ cheers and applause >> i had a lot of hair and makeup to help with that, but i definitely have. >> seth: well, one thing, in the four years since i've last seen you, you have added two more children
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congratulations on that. [ cheers and applause >> yeah, yeah. sometimes i ask myself why, but for the most part, it's good you just added one, too, right >> seth: yes, so, we've got a 4-month-old, and i think that is the conversation my wife and i have every day, which is we love her but we're also, "why?" >> yeah, you can't not love them like, they're insanely cute and lovable but, you know, you're like, "wait, we had a good thing going here what were we thinking? [ laughs ] >> seth: your oldest now is 9? is that right? >> he is he is. >> seth: how is he with having two babies around? he'll be 10 in march >> seth: or two little ones around >> how is with it? >> seth: yeah. >> he's, honestly, the best. >> seth: that's great. >> he loves babies, he loves little kids. he's so good with the girls. but he's my child that's just, like, all good inside. and my middle daughter, like, probably the house is gonna burn down at some point like, she's just a wild one. but we love her, and it's so much fun.
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it's just, you know, the no sleep. like, i heard you don't get your sleep back until your youngest child is 6 you start recouping sleep, and that sounds, like, really faraway away >> seth: yeah, i had my kids later in life, so i think, in six years, i won't be regaining sleep. i'll just be starting to die [ laughter ] >> yeah, maybe that's what's gonna happen to you. >> seth: so i heard -- you know, i'm very fascinated by the skills people picked up during the pandemic guitar -- is this true >> it's totally true that i started taking zoom online guitar lessons shout-out to teague. what's up? miss you, buddy. my husband had bought me a guitar for my birthday my 30th birthday and i didn't pick it up for three years. and then i started playing, and i can't remember anything. but if i took a class, i think it would still be in there so, we started with funny, like, theme songs to old movies and tv shows, so i can play, like,
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"batman" and "mission: impossible" and very easy, simple, simple things. and i learned the white stripes song [ imitating guitar ] >> seth: yeah, the "nation army." >> "seven nation army. >> seth: how many nations? one of them. a number of nations. >> but please don't ask me to do it for you, because i will fail miserably right now. >> seth: well, very exciting there's a stranger in your house, and he's about to hand you a guitar [ laughter ] i heard -- this is very exciting you made an appearance on a very popular show that is dear to you, "the bachelor." >> yeah, yeah, it is very dear to my heart. it's not yours >> seth: how did it come about that you got to appear on "the bachelor" >> um, you know what i think it was just promo for the show it was, like, tossed out there with the promo packet, if you will, of, like, options. and my publicist was like, "i'm sure you're not gonna be so into this." and i was like, "what? why would you think that like, you don't know me at
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all?!" like, i actually love "the bachelor," and i haven't watched in about a year, but we can blame my youngest child for that but, yeah, i've been fascinated by "the bachelor" for a really long time. so getting to go and be on set and have them, like, take my phone away from me, i felt really cool. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> it's just top -- everything is top secret. there's -- maybe 75 producers, like, running around with, like, ear things in and -- but everything is just unfolding naturally. like, i don't know i thought there was gonna be, like, a script and a this. it's not really like that. it is a, like, social experiment maybe we're all in a simulation. i don't know it was fascinating [ light laughter ] >> seth: i only watched one season, and i got in way too deep [ light laughter ] i was way too emotionally invested, and i realized i don't think i'm prepared to take this journey again. [ laughter ]
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>> was it "the bachelor" or "the bachelorette" that you watched? >> seth: i think i watched a "bachelorette" season. and i think -- >> both equally as satisfying, so you can't really go wrong it's just, can you get in and can you stay there >> seth: "satisfying" isn't a word i'd use [ laughter ] >> oh, okay, okay. >> seth: like, i found -- like, the way -- i feel like - i don't know i feel like, i've never done crack, but i feel like if i did, i wouldn't say like, "that was very satisfying. [ laughter ] it's, like, addictive. >> i'm with you there, i'm with you there. i maybe used the wrong word. i also have not used crack, but sometimes watching "the bachelor" does feel that way >> seth: well, it seems like we have our resolutions for next year [ laughter ] so "how i met your father. i think a lot of people might assume from the title this is a reboot of "how i met your mother." but is it safe to say it's a sequel of sorts? >> i think so. i think that's kind of how we're presenting it, because it's a completely original cast, and
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you know, we're not, like, picking up where they left off we're not -- you know, my character isn't ted mosby. like, we are new people going on our new life adventure, figuring out things at 30, but it ends the episode in a really cool way that i think people will understand our take on the show. and you know, obviously, borrowing -- it's such a great concept to be telling your kid the story of how you met their parent, and now it's being told from the female perspective. and, yeah, we play with a lot of, like, flashbacks and flash-forwards, which tells a story, like, very quickly and brings a great energy. but it really is its own show, and you know, it's about 30-year-olds doing life at 30 and what that looks like now in the age of online dating and limitless options and being, like, swipeable. it's just completely stressful
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but also, you know, it's a love story between a group of friends that are kind of a pack of weirdos that all love and accept each other and are just -- you know, trying to figure out their 30s and what they want out of life. >> seth: you have a very cool narrator in the show that was obviously a big part of "how i met your mother," as well, and it's kim cattrall, who is one of the coolest people in the world. did you actually get to hang out with her since she was sort of a narrator role? >> yeah, i spent a little bit of time with her, and she's a beast, man she shot like 10 episodes in one day. like, all of her stuff was really fast, but she just showed up and kind of schooled us all it was like, "oh, damn, that's how you do it," you know she's such an icon and i wasn't supposed to be at work, and i'm like, "oh, come hell or high water, i'm showing up." like, "out of my way where's kim? [ laughter ] and you know, it's really cool to have her play the future sophie and tell that story
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she's really witty, but she's, like, warm and open. and there's something comforting about having her tell the story and actually seeing her, because, i don't know about you, but it would be so nice to see the future me and know that i turned out okay. i made some good choices that got me to the right places in life at that point so there's that, like, comfort in that part of the show, which she's obviously a big part of. so, also, the show takes place in new york, and when i think of kim, i think of new york city. >> seth: yes >> so it's a cool element. >> seth: hey, thank you so much for being here i do hope, next time, we can get you back in the city >> um, well, i really hope that next time you actually invite me to go day-drinking with you. that's what i really want. >> seth: alright, but here's the thing. wait a second. >> i also haven't gotten that invitation >> seth: alright, hilary, but i think a lot of people want to do day-drinking they think, "oh, it's fake or phony, and you do shots of water. this is a real thing >> i don't think you know me very well, seth. let's go it's on. [ cheers and applause >> seth: hilary duff, everybody.
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new episodes of "how i met your father" are available tuesdays on hulu we'll be right back with comedy from our very own jeff wright. [ cheers and applause ♪ on my travels across the country i came across this house with water dripping from the ceiling. you never know when something like this will happen. so let the geico insurance agency help you with homeowners insurance and protect yourself from things like fire, theft, or in this case, water damage. now if i had to guess i'd say somewhere upstairs there's a broken pipe. geico. save even more when you bundle home and car insurance at ♪♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause >> seth: our next guest is a very funny comedian and actor who is also a writer here at "late night. please welcome to the show jeff wright! [ cheers and applause ♪ >> i am happy to be here if you can't tell by this big, goofy smile on my face, i got a smiley face. i smile a lot, but that doesn't mean i'm happy all the time. it is just my default face, which is annoying, because it makes it hard to look like i can
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keep a secret, you know? anyone that smiles this much looks like they always have something to say like i walk around with a constant look on my face like, "man, you ain't gonna believe this." it's annoying. i'll just be smiling, and everyone just assumes i'm flirting i told everyone at work "good morning" with a smile, and now i have seven girlfriends, three boyfriends, and a meeting with hr it's bad this smile is why i couldn't become a doctor. you can't give bad news with a smile like this. imagine bad news like, "excuse me, sir, we did the best we could. that's your dad, right yeah, he not gonna make it." i am from orlando, florida [ cheering and applause there we go. a lot of people -- like, everyone assumes anyone from florida is crazy, and that's annoying, because it's true.
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it's hard to deny that we're not crazy when we have florida man and florida man is a lot like covid in the sense you can't see him, but you know he's out there. i think new yorkers are crazy, too. they just don't acknowledge it they just say, "that's new york." that's not how you deal with crazy. i moved here to new york and i saw a homeless man arguing with a dog on a subway platform and right as i went to get help, the dog stopped me and was like, "chill." and i was like, "wait, no way! this dog can talk? and the homeless man was like, "yeah, that's new york." i moved to new york because i work here now on "late night with seth meyers." and it is honestly one of the best and easiest jobs i've ever had. all i gotta do is be black at first, it was a little challenging, but i'm starting to get the hang of it now i just walk around the office for no reason with a fist in the air. i love it here it's like a family i call seth meyers my uncle, but
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that's because where i'm from, anyone that pays you that much money, you gotta call him something. i'll be honest when i first started, i didn't recognize seth all that well but then, i got that first paycheck, and i was like, "oh, that is seth adam meyers born december 28, 1973 according to me and my bank account, that is the greatest of all time, right there. he's the g.o.a.t he's the g.o.a.t " it's like a family here, and i have a lot of interesting family members. take, for example, my grandfather. real interesting guy i love my grandpa. i told myself, "i want to be on tv before my grandfather dies," and i've done that so he can go now i love him, though he's an interesting guy. this man literally wakes up from naps like, "huh? who? what? when? why?! and i'm like, "grandpa, where -- are you pants? and you need therapy you can't keep scaring yourself awake. i been trying to convince all my family members to get therapy, right?
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i told my grandpa, i said, "hey, look, i'm thinking about going to therapy." he was like, "come on, now black people don't do that you don't need therapy just play basketball." imagine every time you got sad, someone handed you a basketball, because that's what he did to me i brought home a bad report card, he was like, "here's a basketball." i was like, "what am i supposed to do with this? he's like, "you gonna need a scholarship. after my first breakup, he was like, "here's a basketball." i was like, "what you want me to do, dunk on her? after the first 30 minutes of the movie "up," he was like, "here's a basketball." i told my mom, i was like, "mom, you think i should go to therapy? she was like, "no, you don't need therapy all you need is church." so we get in the car she's driving. i'm in the passenger's seat. mind you, the passenger's seat is a major responsibility in the black community, because that means i'm the deejay so i'm deejaying, right? and the radio decides to play ludacris' "move. you guys know ludacris "move." "move, trick get out the way. get out the way, trick get out the way.
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but the radio didn't say "trick." it said the "b" word my mama heard the "b" word and said, "excuse me?" i said, "no, mama, it's not me it's the radio." it should have said "trick." it should have said "move, trick. she said, "don't worry about it." we get to church we have a beautiful time we get home. i'm waking towards the door, and a sandal flies by my face. i turn around. another sandal hits me dead in the face i don't think some of y'all understand apparently, the first sandal was a distraction to get me to turn around after i take the sandal out of my mouth, i said, "mama, why'd you hit me?" she said, "you should have moved, trick, and got out the way. that honestly made me sad. but then, my grandpa came out and was like, "here's a basketball." i'm jeff wright. thank you guys so much >> seth: jeff wright, everybody. we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ♪
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[ cheers and applause >> seth: i want to thank jeremy irons, hilary duff, jeff wright, everybody [ cheers and applause i want to thank daniel fang and the 8g band. stay safe, get vaccinated, get boosted. we love you guys [ cheers and applause ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ tonight the shock has not worn off from new york city to fremont to san francisco. friends, family and strange


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