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tv   Late Night With Seth Meyers  NBC  January 5, 2022 12:37am-1:37am PST

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♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers. tonight -- will forte author and comedian david baddiel. seth and will forte go day drinking featuring the 8g band with fred armisen ♪ [ cheers and applause and now, seth meyers [ cheers and applause >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. and this is "late night. we hope you're doing well tonight. now let's get to the news. president biden spoke on the phone yesterday with west virginia senator joe manchin, and they were able to work out an agreement it's now president manchin and senator biden.
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[ laughter ] when asked by reporters after speaking with president biden about the $2 trillion spending bill, if the measure will pass this year, west virginia senator joe manchin said, "anything's possible here. okay, but to be clear, that's not good news. when someone says, "hey, come to my party tonight, anything's possible," you're leaving in handcuffs without your pants according to newly released records, donald trump jr. texted then-white house chief of staff mark meadows during january's capitol attack, urging him to make president trump condemn the violence then he texted again, saying, "fine. i'll tell him myself just give me his number. the records show that then-white house chief of staff mark meadows also received a text from fox news host brian kilmeade that said, "please get him on tv, destroying everything you've accomplished." that is a shocking revelation. they had to beg trump to go on tv?! fox news host
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laura gr --ingraham -- excuse me -- also texted meadows during the capitol attack and said president trump needed to tell the rioters to go home mostly because her show comes on at 10:00, and they're her target audience [ laughter ] it's been a few weeks since the world health organization designated omicron as a new covid variant of concern, and it appears to be rapidly spreading around the globe but there are still a lot of uncertainties about how dangerous it is. so let's take a look at what we know so far in a segment called "getting to know the omicron variant. ♪ >> seth: it was first identified by scientists in botswana and south africa contains a significant number of mutations in its spike protein was originally planning to show up sooner, but it didn't want to bump with adele's new album. [ laughter ] finds the word "mutated" offensive. prefers the term "differently infectious." [ laughter ] is often incorrectly pronounced "omnicron," but is fine with either pronunciation, unlike your friend lara
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[ laughter ] no, it does not want to see your spotify wrapped. can't believe people bitch about masks being uncomfortable, but can only survive by living in your snot. if you rearrange the letters in "omicron variant," it spells "ovarian corn mint." it doesn't mean anything, but it's a fun thing to do instead of just sitting around worrying about it it's also writing a book about the trump administration [ laughter ] doesn't really like the name omicron variant. prefers to go by "coronavirus (taylor's version)." [ laughter ] and, finally, hasn't the "succession" season finale yet, so please stop talking about it. this has been "getting to know the omicron variant. [ cheers and applause according to a new study, rocket scientists and brain surgeons are not smarter than the general public the study consisted of two photographs. [ laughter ] during yesterday's white house press briefing, fox news reporter peter doocy said that the recent christmas tree fire outside of the network's
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new york office caused a half-million dollars worth of damage that tree cost fox news half-a-million dollars did they decorate it or sexually harass it? [ laughter ] and, finally, according to the latest numbers, apple is set to become the world's first company with a market value of more than $3 trillion. and almost $2 trillion of that comes from chargers left in hotel rooms. [ laughter ] and that was a monologue, everybody. we have a great show for you tonight. [ cheers and applause he is my dear friend from "snl," and his excellent new show, "macgruber," premieres on peacock thursday will forte will be here in studio [ cheers and applause and he is a comedian and writer whose book, "jews don't count," is available now david baddiel will be here he argues that they do [ laughter ] just fyi but before we get to all that, from time to time, i've done a segment on this show called "day drinking" where i get hammered in broad daylight with
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friends. i've done it with kelly clarkson, lorde, and my best friend, rihanna it's always a blast. last sunday, i went to peter mcmanus cafe on 7th avenue with will forte. take a look. ♪ >> seth: hey, everybody. i'm at mcmanus cafe here in new york city with one of the nicest people, the most talented writers, and funniest human beings i've ever had the pleasure of working with, bill hader >> [ bleep ] you [ laughter ] >> seth: it's will forte, everybody. >> hi. >> seth: uh-oh it's time for "day drinking. ♪ >> hey >> seth: you're either a fan of the 2010 film "macgruber" or you're dead to me! we're gonna play the "macgruber" drinking game. we have three buckets -- one with an alcohol, one with a mixer, and one with a wild card. will pulls them out. i get him the stuff. we drink it together it's super-fun we have 30 seconds to make the drink and try it all right. ready? >> yes >> seth: set, go
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♪ >> moonshine give me a moonshine. grenadine. tropical mix kool-aid power. >> seth: there you go, macgruber. >> powder. >> seth: 13 seconds, macgruber >> 13 seconds. we have enough for whiskey whiskey! >> seth: you don't have to shake it, macgruber! >> i know. >> seth: hurry up, macgruber 5 seconds! 4, 3, 2 -- not bad. [ laughter ] all right, we're gonna do our second drink let's go, macgruber. >> vintage bordeaux. >> seth: here you go, macgruber! >> orange juice, please. >> seth: here you are, my friend >> jar of maraschino cherries? awesome! >> seth: 17 seconds, macgruber >> rumple minze! rumple minze >> seth: 5, 4, 3, 2 -- ♪ >> oh, that's the worst of the worst. >> seth: last one. >> okay. uh, uh, shake and toss me that can of beer. [ bleep ]. >> seth: here you go, macgruber! >> okay. let's just do everything else, too. >> seth: cold brew, macgruber! >> cold-brew coffee. >> seth: here's some milk, macgruber! >> milk.
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>> seth: maple syrup, macgruber! >> maple syrup >> seth: here's hot sauce, macgruber. >> hot sauce >> seth: here's some shaving cream. shaving cream. it's whipped cream, macgruber. >> oh, that's cheez whiz that's cheez whiz. >> seth: oh, it's cheez whiz 3 seconds, macgruber >> [ screams ] >> seth: let's drink from it together cheers all right, so, we're gonna play some drinking games, my friend >> okay. >> seth: "last man on earth" and, in general, your sketch work, i feel like you're one of our great facial hair comedians. >> thank you >> seth: you're welcome. here's how this is gonna work. i'm gonna show a picture of just the facial hair. >> okay. >> seth: if you get the character or the actor right, i will do a shot if you're wrong, you will do a shot >> that sounds fair. >> seth: all right, ready? >> yeah. that's wolverine >> seth: that's correct. >> hugh jackman. >> seth: nice job. >> questlove ugh! you are sucking at this game that is adam duritz? >> seth: jay-z >> aw!
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i was gonna say -- i mean, they're -- that is frederick douglass >> seth: no! >> karl marx?! [ bleep ] you. [ laughter ] >> seth: oh, this is a good one. >> is that salvador dali ahh! [ laughs ] >> seth: all right, we're gonna move on to another game. >> okay, great >> seth: now i'm gonna show you photos of you from different film roles of yours. >> oh, okay. >> seth: but each photo is gonna get progressively closer to make it harder for you to know what it is. >> okay. oh, my god this is bad. >> seth: this is you in a movie. >> this is me in a movie i know the era i know that this would have been like probably 2016 >> seth: do you separate your career into eras [ laughter ] >> no, i don't i don't. >> seth: can i tell you what it is >> "a futile and stupid gesture. >> seth: okay, it was "booksmart." >> "booksmart. [ bleep >> seth: all right, so, that's one. >> that's right after
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"last man on earth" was canceled >> seth: okay, but it was just weird that i felt happy that you got it wrong, and then you immediately made it like, "oh, then my show got canceled. [ light laughter ] >> i mean, it was a hard time. go on to the next one. [ bleep i'm gonna be bad at this game. okay, i'm going to guess - >> seth: 5, 4 -- >> i don't know. god. >> seth: "good boys. >> "good boys" [ bleep >> seth: all right, ready? oh, this is really good. >> "brothers solomon." >> seth: yes, you are right. correct. this is getting really unfair to you now. >> oh, my god. [ laughter ] >> seth: you know that's -- this seems easy to me why is this taking you so long >> it's an animated movie. >> seth: yeah. the eyes aren't giving it away for you? >> you got me drunk. i mean, i'm already kind of -- "the willoughbys." >> seth: "lego movie." >> "lego movie." [ bleep that's abraham lincoln oh, you're right [ laughter ] >> "nebraska." >> seth: yep "nebraska. >> black and white
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>> seth: what a film "nebraska" was. >> oscar-nominated >> seth: with bruce dern >> yeah. he played a small part >> seth: what were the kind of acting questions bruce dern would ask you on set >> "how do i do it what do i do how do i do this just tell me where to -- tell me what to do from the start. >> seth: all right, well, i think we should -- should we move on to the next? >> yes >> seth: we worked together at "snl" for a long time. >> we did? >> seth: yes i was the guy three offices down on the left. so, you were incredible characters, an amazing sketch writer maybe not, like, the best impressionist i ever worked with >> thank you >> seth: but we're gonna play the impression game now. these are all people you and i know >> okay. "hey, buddy, i got a soccer game i'm putting together this weekend. um, yeah, if you want to come out and play soccer with us, yeah, it's, uh --" >> seth: are you [ bleep ] kidding me samberg? >> i don't know. we play soccer
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>> seth: what? >> getting it back with -- geez "hi. [ laughter ] it's already really bad. "i wear glasses and i was on 'weekend update' with you. and my name rhymes with rina gay >> seth: tina fey wasn't on "update" with me >> she was not she was and that's what the call was about. like -- yeah, she was, like, fact-checking you. by the way, do you remember, we did a sketch once that was - you might have written it. it was all christopher walken impersonations >> seth: i did write it, yeah. >> you did write it. >> seth: i did >> and everyone did really bad christopher walken impersonations and i got cut from the sketch, 'cause my christopher walken impersonation was so bad that you just -- it just was unusable >> seth: like, you are the top-level comedy performer that you could possibly ever see, and, yet, you cannot do a christopher walken you cannot do an airable christopher walken >> "what are you talking about, seth?" [ laughter ]
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>> seth: do it again do walken. >> "this -- this sketch you're talking about. what are you talking about?" i suck so bad. i should be -- >> seth: let's do a shot >> i should be murdered. >> seth: let's do a shot i love you >> i love you. >> seth: i also want to say something. you did me a huge solid. i started doing the show in my in-laws' house, and i realized there was a sea captain painting behind me. >> yeah. >> seth: and i knew, based on your skills, that you'd be the perfect voice for the sea captain. >> hey, seth back in high school, my nickname was demon seaman >> seth: what? all right, so, here's the new game i'll show you the painting and then you have to do the voice. you have to hold it in front of your face. >> okay. oh, hey, am i smiling enough is this -- can you register the amount of smile that i'm using because i'm trying to be very subtle with it
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oh, my [ bleep ] ears! it's so bad! i like [ bleep ] well, there's some psychological stuff going on, but i [ bleep cut it off, and it hurts but i did it to myself i did it to myself i did it to myself [ mumbling ] [ laughter ] [ mumbling ] great, huh [ soft vocalizing >> seth: can i give you one note >> yeah. >> seth: go for it [ soft vocalizing
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[ screaming >> seth: i always said about you that no one can make people break better than will forte, because you yourself never broke. but your fearlessness made people break so - >> thank you >> seth: if you make me break right now, i will do a shot. >> okay. [ laughter ] hi >> seth: wait. just start over. i'll do a shot, but then he's gonna do it again. round 2. >> okay. >> seth: forte can't make me break. >> you know that earlier that i -- going across the table? i'm not gonna do that now.
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[ laughter ] you wouldn't have to kiss me [ laughter ] >> seth: all right, hold on. i'll do another shot we'll do it again. hold on. all right, it's round 3, will forte can't break me. [ laughter ] >> so, how's your day going? [ laughter ] [ bleep ]. [ growls ]
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[ laughter ] i'm seriously now -- now i'm just back to being will. and i'm so [ bleep ] proud of you as a dad and as a husband. that you have -- what you have done in your life, providing love for your family makes me so proud of you i'm proud of you for not breaking right now i'm gonna say, i'm on the side that i thought you would have broken by now. but you [ bleep ] are so [ bleep ]. how could i not break you now? [ laughter ] you got -- i cheated on my wife there. [ laughter ] >> seth: we're gonna end tonight with the wheel of karaoke. no matter what song it ends on, will's gonna have to sing it
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"just once" it is. [ light laughter ] ♪ ♪ ooh, ooh, ooh i did my bes but i guess my bes wasn't good enough ♪ ♪ 'cause here we ar back where w were before ♪ ♪ seems nothin' ever changes we're back t being strangers ♪ ♪ wondering if we ought to sta or head on out the doo ooh ♪ ♪ just once♪ [ cheers and applause ♪ >> seth: we'll be right back with will forte, everybody [ cheers and applause ♪ what is... an overpass? come on!
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[ cheers and applause ♪ >> seth: our first guest tonight is an emmy-nominated actor and writer who you know from his work on "saturday night live," "the last man on earth," and as the voice of the sea captain he stars in the highly anticipated action-comedy series "macgruber," which begins streaming on peacock december 16th. please welcome back to the show my very good friend will forte, everybody! [ cheers and applause ♪ >> seth: hi, buddy
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>> hi. how are you? >> seth: good. how have you recovered are you doing all right? >> i went to the corner bistro after that and got a delicious burger what i didn't know is, i was already full before i went there, so i was like, i couldn't -- i basically couldn't breathe till midnight that night. we did this on sunday. >> seth: yeah, well, we walked -- we had some, like, fried chicken that was on set. and i feel like we ate a lot of that because we were so drunk that we were just talking and eating way too much chicken. >> but we didn't eat the chicken until 12 tequila shots in or something like that. >> seth: so it just was floating it wasn't even, like, being able to be processed. >> yeah. >> seth: i would like to say, we had a lot of big, grand plans of getting together that night. we were very stereotypically drunk, because we were like, "let's get dinner later. and you're like, "i'll text you. and i was like, "i'll text you." and then we both went home and didn't talk again until today. [ laughter ] >> but i thought about you the whole time >> seth: i did, too. >> yes ll >> seth: well, i -- my wife
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is one of your biggest fans. and one of the great memories i have of getting to be on set for "macgruber," in 2010, the film, is that you shot it in new mexico, as you did with the series my wife lives -- grew up, i should say, in new mexico. and so we got to hang out, you, me, and my soon-to-be in-laws, because we were just dating then >> yes, you guys were dating this was -- i don't know i would say maybe a year into your relationship. >> seth: two years my wife -- based on where you're going, i want to clarify it was two years. >> okay, this is two years, which makes this story better. >> seth: yeah, worse for me, better to tell, yeah >> okay. and i apologize, ariel, your sister-in-law, is, like, an unwilling participant in this stor >> seth: yeah. >> back in the day, i was a single man >> seth: yeah. >> and ariel was a single woman. >> seth: yeah. >> we had, one night, gone to your in-laws -- your in-laws-to-be house. and we all had a little tequila. that was another, you know, tequila night. and, you know, we had a little -- ariel and i had a little make-out session.
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>> seth: you guys made out [ audience oohs >> yeah. so, it was very innocent but then we woke up the next day. we all stayed at the house, in separate quarters, everyone, except -- even you you were very chaste back then >> seth: i was very chaste [ laughter ] >> anyway, we woke up and then we went to this place called bobcat and as we were driving, ariel and i were in the front seat you guys, two years into your relationship, were into the back and you had, at this point, not yet told alexi that you loved her. >> seth: i had not that is correct. >> yeah. >> seth: and i did not realize, but ariel had told you that when i wasn't there so this was a piece of information that you had that i did not know that you had. >> yes and i seized upon that information. and so i made a very big deal of professing my love to ariel. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> in the front seat, just like, "ariel, i'm just going to say it when it's time, it's time. and, you know, you are so special. and i just think i'm ready to tell you right away that i love you. [ laughter ]
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any person who just feels strongly about somebody will tell them they love them, and i just want to do this." and you're in the back seat going, "you son of a gun." >> seth: and then, i'd like to point out, that wasn't my only terrible heel-dragging so, then we were together five years, and i still hadn't proposed >> okay. >> seth: and at an "snl" -- i was at an "snl" after party. you'd left "snl. and i was at "snl. >> screw that place. who needs it, right? >> seth: i know. i didn't want you to get into all that >> best job ever would not be here without it i love you, lorne. i love everything about it >> seth: all right so, i'm at a table, at the after party, with alexi and ariel again. >> yeah. >> seth: and you walk in i didn't even know you were coming you see us beeline over, take a knee. [ laughter ] >> i forgot this >> seth: take a knee to ariel, and you're like, "i want to say something that i have waited way too long to say. ariel, i love you. will you marry me? >> seth: and i was like, "you mother --" twice >> well, you're married now with three kids, right?
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>> seth: with three kids, yeah >> and i'd like to think that i have a little -- part of that action that's a weird way to say that >> seth: you do have a part of that action. >> yeah. it's all about action to me and being a part of the action you're either a part of the action or you're not yeah >> seth: you -- this is so exciting so, this was a sketch, a beloved sketch that became a movie that i think we can be honest about the fact that is beloved now people who have discovered the film in the last 10 years. >> thank you for saying that >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> yeah. >> seth: we all know - >> it was not -- it was not beloved at the time. or maybe -- you know, maybe the people who saw it liked it >> seth: i think they did. >> but definitely not a lot of people saw it. we can agree on that for sure. >> seth: yes, let's just drill down and say, like, box office-wise it did not set the world on fire. >> [ bleep ] the bed [ laughter ] just like -- i mean, the bed was -- at the end of that was more [ bleep ] than bed. yeah [ laughter ] >> seth: so it's very exciting for the fans of this that it's now not just back, it's not a sequel, it's a new series. it's eight episodes.
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what i've seen of it is so exciting, being a huge fan of the film did you always -- in the back of your head, did you and jorma and john solomon think like, "you know what? maybe one day, we'll make more of these." >> we pretty immediately after -- you know, when the dust settled in our head after a couple of weeks, it's hard to go through a situation like that. but early on, we said, "you know what we're proud of this thing. nobody wants a sequel, but let's give them one. [ laughter ] let's just frickin' do it. and we were like, "even if we have to shoot it on iphones, let's just -- let's do it. so we immediately started thinking of titles we came up with the dumbest titles >> seth: what were some of the rejected - >> "macgruber 2: [ bleep ] infested waters. [ laughter ] another one -- jorma, i think, had "hawaiian gold macgruber 2: the search for hawaiian gold. [ laughter ] val kilmer had -- he had a simple one "mctwober.
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>> seth: "mctwober." >> yeah. and then wiig, i think, said "macgruber part deux part -- wait "macgruber part deux-deux. just so it could get "doo-doo" in there >> seth: i also -- yeah, somebody pitched at the time "macgruber goes number 2" as a sequel >> oh, that was wiig also. >> seth: yeah, that was a really good one, as well. this is very exciting. we're going to show a clip of it and then talk more about it when we come back with more from will forte after this. [ cheers and applause ♪ ♪ i'm the latest hashtag challenge. and everyone on social media is trying me. i'm trending so hard that “hashtag common sense” can't keep up. this is going to get tens and tens of views. ♪ but if you don't have the right auto insurance coverage, you could be left to pay for this... yourself.
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>> i made some mistakes. >> are you referring to when you blamed me for cunth's death at your trial >> yes >> and you tried to persuade the jury that it was premeditated and i planned the whole thing? >> uh, uh, yes >> and then when you pushed for the death penalty for me >> look, we're getting in the weeds here i'm not proud of what i did. but if it's any consolation, i
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thought about you every single second i was in jail and i understand why you never came to visit or called. and i truly except your apology. >> i didn't apologize. >> thanks. >> seth: welcome back to "late night. we're here with will forte [ cheers and applause that was a clip from "macgruber" on peacock >> it must be very hard to find clips from this thing. >> seth: well, that's the thing. i think, sometimes, people think peacock is nbc peacock is not nbc peacock is a streamer. this is very mature adults it was impossible to find a clip without either terrible language or male nudity, you being the male in question >> yes [ laughter ] i was naked for -- well, the entire second episode, i'm naked -- >> seth: the whole second episode, you're naked. >> the entire second episode, yeah >> seth: and this is -- this is a good example of what macgruber is going through in episode 2. [ laughter ] were you aware -- i mean, again, you co-wrote this. did you know what you were getting into like, on the day, did you think, "oh, man"? >> well, you definitely -- you
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you know, we're all writing this stuff together, so i can't even remember if i pitched the nudity or who it was. but, like, you're like, "yeah, whatever it calls for, whatever the scene calls for. and then you kind of forget that you actually have to do it and i'm not, like, super-nervous about stuff like that, but you think about it a little bit. >> seth: yeah. >> yeah. >> seth: hey, i want to congratulate you on something very exciting. you had a baby girl. congratulations. 10 months old. [ cheers and applause >> she is the sweetest oh, my god, it's - >> seth: i mean, i'm going to show a photo this seems very unfair, and i feel like, one day, you're gonna have to apologize on my behalf but somebody sent you "macgruber" clothes for a baby >> our "macgruber" wardrobe department -- sandra, kia, kurtis, and aura -- had this little -- as a wrap gift, made a little baby version of the "macgruber" outfit and so we put it on her. >> seth: so i'm really psyched to show this for the first time on the show. lookit [ laughter ] [ audience aws ] >> she was -- she loved the whole outfit, but that wig was a problem.
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like, she -- it was the closest i felt to, like, you know, child -- >> seth: abuse >> abuse, yeah [ laughter ] >> seth: she looks also happy to be in this halloween costume >> oh, yeah. [ audience aws ] and that's my new wife, olivia >> seth: and olivia and you also -- we keep coming back to albuquerque -- you got married right before you shot the show, right? >> we got married -- i actually brought you gift we had socks made of our faces for wedding -- >> seth: these are beautiful look at that that's so gorgeous >> olivia gets me a lot of socks and she -- in fact, this has a picture of her sleeping face on them, which is an inside joke. but i have -- most of the socks i wear have loved ones' faces on them or dogs >> seth: that's really nice. >> my dogs, yeah >> seth: you and -- again, because you were on the "macgruber" set, you and wiig performed at your wedding. >> yes so, wiig and i -- a lot of times, between scenes, one of the things we like to do is to just create stupid song medleys.
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and so we thought -- you know, we thought -- when we decided we were going to get married, we started cooking up one that we would do at this reception dinner and it was just the dumbest song here, i'll do a little part. it was like -- the song is like five minutes long, but here's, like, a little - ♪ somebody once told me the world was goin to roll me i ain't the sharpest ♪ ♪ tool in the she every breath you take on me leave me now ♪ ♪ you'll take awa the biggest part of me ooh, baby, please don't go oh, oh, ozempic ♪ ♪ you kno every kiss begins with k is for apple j is for jacks ♪ cinnamon toasty apple jack and diane two american kids growing up in the heartland ♪ ♪ i will always love you ♪ and it was like -- it was five minutes of that, just --
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[ cheers and applause wiig is the best and i'm still married. >> seth: still married still married. congratulations on that. congratulations on the baby. and, i mean, i can't tell you how excited i am that there's more "macgruber" in our lives. thank you so much for delivering - >> oh, thank you very much [ cheers and applause >> seth: delivering on a promise you made me long ago will forte, everybody. all eight episodes of "macgruber" are available to stream on peacock this thursday. we'll be right back with david baddiel. [ cheers and applause ♪ psoriatic arthritis, made my joints stiff,... ...swollen, painful. emerge tremfyant®. tremfya® is approved to help reduce joint symptoms in adults with active psoriatic arthritis. some patients even felt less fatigued. serious allergic reactions may occur. tremfya® may increase your risk of infections and lower your ability to fight them. tell your doctor if you have an infection or symptoms
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- hi mommy! - hi honey! oh i missed you! you just want to video call the kids. ok. ♪ hush little baby...♪
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♪...don't say a word...♪ but if slow upload speeds turn your goodnight call into an accidental horror movie... can you hear me? shut it down. just remember. you're not a bad mom. you just need better internet. at&t fiber delivers faster upload speeds for more reliable video calls. get at&t fiber, plans starting at $35 a month for a year. limited availability in select areas. call 877.only.att. ♪ [ cheers and applause >> seth: our next guest is a comedian and writer whose book "jews don't count" is available now. please welcome to the show david baddiel. [ cheers and applause ♪
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>> seth: how are you >> i'm all right actually i'm jet-lagged because i flew in from london, so i was up at 4:00 a.m. this morning but it's okay because i'm an insomniac. >> seth: oh, okay, so yeah, kind of those dovetail together nicely >> yeah, but the thing is -- you didn't do it, but when you tell people you're an insomniac, i've noticed, they often say, "oh, i'm always asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow." and i always want to say, "right, if i told you i was blind, would you have said, 'oh, really i can see perfectly.'" [ laughter ] >> seth: you're right. it's very unfair that they do that >> it certainly is, yeah >> seth: i'm so glad now looking back that i didn't say that. >> yeah, i'm glad you didn't >> seth: because it's true, david. as soon as it hits the pillow. so i know you to be -- you're a comedian, you're a writer, you've written screenplays i did not realize this about you. you wrote a football anthem. >> thanks for calling it football >> seth: well, i know who i'm talking to >> i thought you were going to say soccer and i was going to have to claim no, we got there first. yeah, no, that is one of the things i am very well-known for in england, which is that
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in 1996, me and another comedian and a band, the lightning seeds, we wrote a song called "three lions (football's coming home.)" and it has gone to number one in england four times it holds the record for going to number one four times. and the problem with that is that my voice is [ bleep ] that's what my voice is. [ laughter ] >> and george michael and freddie mercury must be turning in their graves at the thought of it. it got -- when it came out -- i mean, it's really popular. right? it gets sung at the grounds. the queen goes on tv and says "football's coming home," and some -- it's really, really popular. but it got, like, the worst review anything's i think ever got when it first came out from "q" magazine >> seth: yeah, sure, i remember "q" magazine >> okay. so "q" magazine said -- it started off well it said, "in the future, people will think of 'three lions' as better than it was in the future," they said," "folk memory will erase the memory of david baddiel's singing just as effectively as it has erased the memory of corpse robbers during the
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blitz. [ laughter ] i'm, like, almost proud to be insulted on such a scale >> seth: it really is, but just to give people a sense, this is a song you wrote being sung at football grounds let's take a listen. ♪ football's coming hom it's coming home it's coming home it's coming ♪ ♪ football's coming home ♪ >> seth: there are more lyrics than what we showed there. >> yeah, there are >> seth: i feel that doesn't show the breadth of your work. >> you're a sports fan, right? >> seth: i am, yeah. >> okay, so the main lyrics are about how england are going to lose probably, because that is actually the history of england at big tournaments but we think somehow they're going to win and that's what chimed i think with football fans but i tell you something when it first got sung like that at wembley stadium, it was, like, i didn't know what was going to happen. i'm sitting there with frank skinner who also wrote it, and suddenly we've beaten scotland and the whole stadium erupts and everyone knows the words, right? >> seth: yeah, you made it pretty easy. >> well, yeah. [ laughter ] yeah, i did.
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i knew what i was playing with these football fans, right but that was amazing it's sort of -- you know you're meant to say that the best day of your life is when your kids are born [ bleep ] that that was the best day of my life [ laughter ] >> seth: i believe it. >> it was really amazing, yeah >> seth: i want to talk about what's inside the book but let's start with the title it's very provocative, to say the least. it was very strange to say it to the audience tonight >> okay. i noticed you qualified it by saying "he argues that they do." >> seth: yeah, or they should, i guess is really what you argue >> well, it totally is provocative, and a few people have -- and a woman wrote to me from here, from new york, saying, "i've tried to read this in the hair salon, and i got some weird looks." right? but in germany -- so, this book's come out in germany, which perhaps shows what the problem is [ laughter ] it's come out in germany and the german publishers wrote to me and they actually said, "we can't call it -- [ speaking german "jews don't count" in german they wrote me this very serious e-mail they said, "with our history." and i was tempted to troll them and say, "sorry, what history?
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>> seth: yeah, exactly [ laughter ] >> "what are you talking about?" see how long i could keep that going for. >> seth: right, right, right >> but eventually they said, "no we can't do it." and they called it something else you've got it there. they called it - [ speaking german question mark, which means "and the jews? which sounds creepier to me. it sounds more like something that an s.s. general would say to, like, hitler, like that's the last thing they say in the meeting, and he just looks really cross >> seth: yeah. >> yeah, yeah. >> seth: this is a book where you argue that anti-semitism should be judged the same as racism, that it is in fact racism, and it's often not valued the same. >> well, it's a book about the anti-race -- the identity politics conversation. >> seth: yeah. >> and about how, in that conversation, which has intensified incredibly over the last 20 years, it seems to me that anti-semitism, which is a very old racism, a very old form of discrimination, is kind of very low in the mix of that. it kind of feels like people aren't so bothered about it. i start the book with about 12 examples of this. for example, i'm sitting at home, i'm listening to jeremy irons in 2019 read out all of t.s. eliot's poetry on
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bbc radio 4, which is a very kind of posh thing and i know that i'm going to get to lunchtime and he's going to read out the lines, which are real lines from t.s. eliot, "the rats are underneath the piles, the jew is underneath the lot. and my point is not that t.s. eliot is an anti-semite we know it the point is where is the reaction to that in a trigger space that we exist in, from microaggression against all minorities, why is twitter not alive with fury at that and statues of t.s. eliot being toppled? i'm not asking for that to happen i'm asking why there is no conversation about that. >> seth: and why -- it must have occurred to you and your publishers as well, coming at it from a comedian's perspective, it doesn't seem like necessarily a topic that would be rich for, you know, sort of comic mining of the material. what made you decide to want to approach it in the first place >> well, i don't just do comedy. i've become -- as i get older, i find, as i get older, i'm allowed to talk about serious stuff. >> seth: yeah. >> there is jokes in it. i talk about, in fact, meeting a jewish football commentator who interviewed me once and told me once he wasn't jewish.
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and then i met him later at the world cup in japan in a sauna and he was [ laughter ] >> seth: okay, yeah, yeah. >> so there are jokes in it. right? but yeah, it's mainly serious. i mean, the point you made about racism -- i noticed in america this is a more complex thing, is that there seems to be a problem with calling anti-semitism racism and if you want the argument for it, i'm an atheist but that would get me no free passes out of auschwitz. i've noticed that white supremacists, they don't check whether i keep kosher before they think, "i'll burn down that jew's house. do you know what i mean? >> seth: sure. >> right so for me it's an accident of birth that the racists hate me for. and so therefore it's racism and, you know, i mean, as it happens, being an atheist and a jew is kind of a weird thing because people don't understand that either. but basically i don't believe in god. i believe in larry david it's quite straightforward for me, right? actually, can i just tell you a quick story? >> seth: please. >> because i used that sometimes to get out -- because it's very common being an atheist and a jew, but i use it sometimes to get -- because i'm well-known in britain -- to get out of stuff i get asked to do by the local jewish community so this rabbi rang me up my local rabbi -- i've never met
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him -- somehow got my number and says, "can you light the menorah, the big menorah in london you come and light it, because you're kind of mr. jew, right? and i didn't want to do it so i played what i thought my trump card i said, "i'm sorry to tell you this, rabbi, but i'm an atheist. he said, "so am i. i thought [ bleep ] no i mean, like - [ laughter ] how common has that become amongst jews, right? >> seth: i know that when you write about something that is this provocative in topic, you're going to hear from, you know, both sides but i heard that you have an internet troll of a sort living in your own home >> i do have that. i have my son ezra, who -- i don't know if you've got a teenage son. >> seth: no, not yet >> but it is like living with a, yeah, an internet troll. he likes to humiliate me and he uses, i guess, my public profile against me to some extent. but he's clever and he's good with technology. so, for example, we were in cornwall last summer, and it's by the sea and i was just driving there with my family, and that summer, my car stereo had packed up.
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so i was using a -- like a bluetooth personal speaker for the music in the car and it's just on the dashboard we get out of the car. it's a really crowded car park i'm holding that in front of me because i think i don't want it to be stolen i'm holding that i'm holding, like, swimming costumes and towels or whatever. it was really awkward. i noticed that ezra is doing something with his phone but i'm not really paying attention. then suddenly this speaker starts playing, incredibly loudly, this incredibly jewish music. [ laughter ] [ vocalizing ] and i could see all the people in the car park look around and clearly think "oh, look, there's david baddiel. [ laughter ] "i guess he must have to have music like that around him all the time any minute now, he'll be doing this, i imagine. [ laughter ] >> seth: got to love a teenage kid who can take it out of his dad. >> you know what i was humiliated, but i was proud because that is a good gag. >> seth: yeah, exactly >> yeah. >> seth: it feels like he ticks both the boxes of judaism and comedy in the same moment. >> exactly that's what i would want for him. >> seth: thank you so much for being here congratulations on the book.
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>> it's lovely to be here. thank you so much. >> seth: that's david baddiel, everybody. "jews don't count" is on sale now wherever books are sold. but please support local and independent bookstores we'll be right back with more "late night. [ cheers and applause ♪ we make sit-down chicken... ...stand-up chicken... backyard chicken... ...oops chicken... ...lots-a-time chicken... ...no-time chicken. if there's one thing we know, it's chicken, chicken and chicken. more choices. more wow. more to love. tyson. ♪♪ gravity. it's a force to be reckoned with.
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♪ [ cheers and applause >> announcer: the audience is back at "late night. come join us live in studio 8g for tickets head over to latenightsethtickets.com for more "late night," follow us on instagram, twitter, and tiktok @latenightseth. be sure to check us out on youtube, facebook, and over at latenightseth.com. subscribe to the "late night podcast," featuring "a closer look" and more available on apple, spotify, google, or wherever you listen to podcasts. ♪
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- hi mommy! - hi honey! oh i missed you! you just want to video call the kids. ok. ♪ hush little baby...♪ ♪...don't say a word...♪ but if slow upload speeds turn your goodnight call into an accidental horror movie... can you hear me? shut it down. just remember. you're not a bad mom. you just need better internet. at&t fiber delivers faster upload speeds for more reliable video calls. get at&t fiber, plans starting at $35 a month for a year. limited availability in select areas. call 877.only.att.
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>> seth: i want to thank my guests will forte and david baddiel. as i said yesterday, the 8g band is working from home this week because unfortunately one of them had a covid exposure. they are all doing well, thank god, but now to play us out for
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the night, here is a little bit more of will forte singing karaoke. stay safe, get vaccinated, we love you ♪ ooh just onc can we figure out ♪ ♪ what we kee doin' wrong? ♪ ♪ boo-boo, oh why the good times never last ♪ [ singing gibberish ♪ where are w goin' wrong? ♪ >> tried to take it off the rails. that did not succeed ♪ just once can we find a wa to finally make it opposite of wrong ♪ ♪ right ♪ [ cheers and applause [ cheers and applause right now, at 11:00, breaking news, near the bay bridge. the sheriff's academy recruits

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