tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC June 14, 2022 11:35pm-12:37am PDT
>> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- president joe biden, and music from jack johnson. with cleto and the cletones. and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thanks. oh, that's very nice. hello, my fellow americans. i'm jimmy, the i'm the host of this, the show. thank you for watching. thank you for joining us from hollywood where our special guest tonight is the president of the united states, joe biden. [ cheers and applause ] amtrak just putted into the
station. he's here tonight to figure out which type of handbasket our country will be going to hell in. [ laughter ] as a precautionary measure, tonight we rounded up everyone in our audience called "brandon." [ laughter ] we went through all the names of everyone. all the brandons have been removed from the premises and relocated to the dave & buster's across the street, where they're being held inside a claw machine until the president is back on air force one. [ applause ] it's kind of exciting to have the president visit you at work. but not everyone's thrilled about his appearance here tonight. the folks at fox news and the wannabe fox news juniors are very upset the president is doing an interview with of all people me. while he's in town for the summit of the americas. >> president biden is going to make his first late-night appearance since taking office, first real interview, actually. i don't think it's a real interview, he's going to be on "jimmy kimmel live." >> he's going to be cuddly with
cuddly liberal jimmy kimmel. >> we're going to see joe on a comedy show so we can have lots of people laughing when they can't afford the gasoline, they're worried about getting mugged, raped or killed. >> perhaps te feel kimmel is a fitting place for him? >> the man's a comedian, he's an activist, a left-wing activist is this guy. >> let's better for them to try and put him in front of "the man show" comedian than to let him have a serious conversation. >> he's not going to get hit hard, is he? >> jimmy kimmel is going to let him skate. >> the softest of softball interviews. >> joe biden should be sitting down with bret baier or someone who is a serious journalist. >> the only thing that comes out of this west coast trip is a fund-raiser and an interview with jimmy kimmel. >> and you know who's watching? china. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: wow. that's kind of cool, i guess. china's watching. hey, china. if you really are watching, thanks for making all that great merchandise for trumpstore.com. [ cheers and applause ] i get what they're saying.
a president needs to be held accountable. he can't just you can't just hide from the people who criticize you. a president needs to get in the box and take the heat and field the tough questions from real, hard-hitting journalists like these. >> congratulations on your brand-new book, mr. president. >> how is our country's first lady doing? >> she's doing great, she's a terrific woman. >> as a young man, do you feel that you were drawn to leadership then the same way in 2016 when you announced? >> you're keeping an insane schedule, seven days a week. you really don't stop. >> are you moving so quickly that your communications department cannot keep up with you? >> yes. >> we want to get to kanye west. he tweeted that he loves you, that you're his brother. >> kanye west is coming to the white house. how does this work? does he tell you what he wants for lunch? do you pick what he's going to get for lunch? >> you came into this job fighting like hell. >> you have to be very, very excited about what you accomplish, and you accomplished it. >> you have accomplished so much.
>> what is your advice for a young couple looking forward to a bright america? >> do you think the polls are inaccurate purposely? >> you were very strong at the end of that press conference. >> as a father, you were involved in everything. >> i'm expecting they're going to be fair to you. >> what's your go-to banger on the box? >> i have a lot of them. >> what's the best song to transition to, "ymca" to what? >> maybe "hold on i'm coming." >> love your show. >> i love your show. >> how's melania? >> is biden against god? if so, how so? >> how's your golf game? >> what do you love about being president? >> how do you handle all of that? >> what drives you? >> can i ask you one last question? >> how can we pray for you? >> you're at the top of your game. what's your secret? >> jimmy: my secret is i flush all my secrets down the commode. [ laughter and applause ] that's my secret.
anyway. to all of my colleagues who are outraged, i'm sending you thoughts and prayers to help get you get through this difficult time. [ laughter ] fox, by the way, has decided not to carry the earrings about january 6th on their news network tomorrow night. instead, they will show their new special, "tucker carlson presents: a racist cat meows confederate battle hymns." [ laughter ] at 8:00 p.m. one side says the insurrection is a big story because it was a violent attempt to overthrow an election that led to multiple fatalities, including capitol police officers. but the other side says, "nuh-nuh, it's not." yesterday, here in california was primary election day. also known as "there was an election today?" day. turnout was low. more californians played wordle yesterday than voted. which i guess is what happens when you turn your state into a marijuana dispensary. [ laughter ] i can't imagine not voting. voting is fun. it's like taking a scantron test you can't fail. you get to fill in all the bubbles. most of the focus here in l.a. was on the race for mayor, but there was a lesser-known candidate on the ballot named
randy fudge who's running for judge. superior court judge. judge fudge. [ laughter and applause ] his website says he has more than 27 years of experience in criminal, civil, and administrative law. unfortunately, none of that matters because the address of that website is fudgeforjudge.com. [ laughter ] how am i not supposed to vote for judge fudge? sadly, california voters sent fudge packing. [ laughter ] he only got 10% of the vote. which has to hurt. he's probably on the couch eating a ton of himself right now. [ laughter ] while we will not get a judge fudge anytime soon, we can be grateful that in november, we will get a chance to vote for dr. kermit. for congress. here in california. he won a very vicious primary over miss piggy. [ laughter ] obviously, with the president here, we've stepped up security. and by that, i mean guillermo only had three drinks before the show. >> guillermo: yes, yes. [ cheers and applause ]
>> only three. >> jimmy: that's quite a -- wow. >> guillermo: that's right, only three. >> jimmy: quite a tie. >> guillermo: thank you, jimmy, for a special occasion today. >> jimmy: where did you get that, party city? >> guillermo: no, target. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: they did a big sweep of our building. everybody's on edge. they come in your office, look around. that gave us an idea. that idea was to set my cousin micki, who works here, with a fake secret service agent. micki is the person who greets the guests here at the show. she is the kindest, most welcoming person you could ever meet. and we sent her this email, "hi micki! just got word from potus, lead staff/u.s. secret service that they are having to run additional checks on everyone." which is not true. but i also know of a few incidents in micki's past. at easter time, she promised my kids a bouncy house, so she went to toys "r" us to buy one, brought it home, it was broken. she tried to return it, the employees were a bunch of jerks because the store was about to go out of business. and also, she worked at toys "r" us. [ laughter ] which is halfway to a death sentence to start with. they wouldn't take the bouncy house back and micki got very
angry to the point where they clled the police on her for making threats. [ laughter ] she was able to elude the police. she hid out in the home depot next door when they came. [ laughter ] but she could not escape from the actor we put in a black suit and told her was a secret service agent that had concerns. >> hello, how are you? >> i'm fine. micki murtosiglia? >> yes. >> take a seat. do you promise to tell the truth, the whole truth, nothing but the truth, so help you, god? >> yes. >> thank you. >> i've got some more questions -- >> i would always say the truth for god. >> let me ask you now to stand and say the pledge of allegiance, please. >> oh my gosh. i pledge allegiance to the flag, to the united states of america -- this is embarrassing. >> let's start at the top again. >> i pledge allegiance to the flag, to the united states of america -- for which we stand -- oh my gosh. i'm so -- for which we stand, one nation underground -- under
god -- >> i don't believe underground is -- >> i know, not underground, no. >> yes, yes. >> god, i love god. >> have a seat. what did you have for breakfast this morning? >> nothing. coffee. >> and how about dinner last night? >> powdered doughnuts. [ laughter ] >> powdered doughnuts for dinner. have you consumed any drugs in the last 24 hours? >> no. >> okay. how about in your lifetime, what drugs have you done? >> i don't do drugs. >> never any drugs of any kind? >> i mean, i tried, like, pot. like once. but i'm not a big -- i don't like -- >> that would constitute a drug. >> but it was in a brownie, it was stupid. >> it was a stupid bruney? >> i always feel, can i tell you why i've never been into drugs because i feel like it could be -- you're not that person. and to each its own. but i felt for me, if like -- you go to try something and that would be the day i die. >> are you on drugs right now? >> no. [ laughter ]
no. no. [ laughter ] >> have you ever been arrested for, let's say, stealing makeup? >> lip -- oh, that was lipstick. [ laughter ] and it was stupid. i was with a cousin and a friend. and we kind of even took the blame for the friend, because she was underage. >> so -- what you're telling me is you took an underage person to steal? >> we're going out, just needed that zip pink. anyway. >> i have some information that you made a terrorist threat against toys "r" us? [ laughter ] can you explain that? >> well, they caught me, huh? um -- it was -- >> it's not terribly funny. >> no, i know, i know, i know. >> a federal offense. >> here's the thing. i feel like even if i've done a
couple of bad things, it has good intentions. >> where's the good intention in that? >> that i wanted -- a bouncy house for the little kids -- um -- at my easter. [ laughter ] and that -- i was returning it. and they said that they -- it was past the, um, return date. and so, um -- they -- they were just bad customer service. >> so the bouncy house upset you so much that you threatened to blow up the toys "r" us? >> i just wanted to warn them, like give them -- teach them a lesson. [ laughter ] like that was it. i mean, i always like to -- look at the positive side -- so if there's anything i can tell you, i think it all worked out just fine. nobody was hurt. it all worked out. >> i appreciate all that. i am going to get my supervisor,
and they will ask you a couple more questions. >> sure. >> okay? all right. you can stay here. >> nice to meet you. >> please don't touch anything. >> oh, i won't. >> this is agent jeffrey. [ laughter ] >> hello, micki. did you threaten my store? laugh [ laughter ] >> i'm going to die! >> jimmy: let that be a lesson to anyone who steals lipstick or maybe gets really upset about a bouncy house. toys "r" us call the police. don't mention any of this to the president. ♪ i wannabe a toys "r" us kid ♪ [ applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, micki. >> thank you. >> jimmy: very patriotic tonight. >> thank you, thank you.
>> jimmy: we'll work on the pledge of allegiance after the show. >> okay, i have to learn it. >> jimmy: we have a great show for you tonight. we have music from jack johnson. and we'll be right back with the president of the united states, joe biden. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ we love our new home. it's got granite countertops, crown molding. it's just... there's so much hammering in the neighborhood. it's a lot. no cereal. not cool, thors! anyone got a light? [lightning bolt strikes] i'll order pizza. at least geico makes bundling our home and car insurance easy. it does save us a lot. see marvel studios' thor: love and thunder. only in theaters. not this again... and for bundling made easy, go to geico.com panera chefs have crafted a masterpiece... succulent, seared chicken... a secret aioli... clean ingredients... in a buttery brioche roll. made fresh, to leave you... speechless. panera's new chef's chicken sandwiches. $0 delivery fee for a limited time.
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we have a lot in common. live like a gigillionaire with at&t fiber. now with speeds up to 5-gigs. limited availability. ♪ >> jimmy: hi there, welcome back to the show. tonight, he is a grammy award winning surfer with a new album called "meet the moonlight," it comes out june 24th. jack johnson from the mercedes eq stage. [ cheers and applause ] you can see jack on tour starting june 21st in gilford, new hampshire. on friday night, we're back in primetime for another "jimmy kimmel live: nba finals game night" show before game four on the east coast and after the game on the west. our guest is captain america and buzz lightyear, chris evans. please join us for that.
[ cheers and applause ] our special guest tonight is to aviator sunglasses what tom cruise is to aviator sunglasses. [ laughter ] i am proud to say i voted for him dozens of times. he is the reason we all got a cavity search tonight. [ laughter ] please welcome the 46th president of the united states, joe biden. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you for coming, sir. [ cheers and applause ] it's an honor to have you, a pleasure to have you here. >> good to be here, man. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: look at that.
[ cheers and applause ] >> my wife's standing. >> jimmy: your wonderful first lady is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] hello. how nice, how nice that the first lady came along. >> she did. she just made the commencement speech at los angeles community college. >> yes. >> jimmy: by the way, i'm jill biden's husband, she's right there. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: it's wonderful to have you here. >> i thought maybe you'd want me to stay on fox all the time. >> jimmy: you know, they're very concerned that i might not ask you serious questions. so i don't want you to -- >> they really ask serious questions. >> jimmy: yeah, right. i don't want to upset them install. do you mind if i ask you some serious questions? >> not at all. >> jimmy: this is, unfortunately -- >> not at all. i never mind having a conversation with someone really smart. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: guillermo, maybe you need to take over. [ applause ]
>> guillermo: i will. >> i'm happy. >> jimmy: you were here in september of 2019. one of the things we talked about at length was gun violence. and you said that we need to do something about gun violence, particularly when it comes to our schools. and here we are a couple of years later. we're half way through this year already. there have been, what, 27 shootings at schools? i guess -- i mean, just to get into it, why haven't we done anything about this? >> well, i think a lot of it's intimidation by the nra and -- look, this is not your father's republican party, this is a maga party. it's a very different -- a very different republican party. and so you find people who are worried, i believe, that if they vote for rational gun policy, they're going to be primaried. they're going to lose in a hard-right republican primary. >> jimmy: is that your take when you speak to these guys and women behind the scenes, that they -- is there any honesty? do they acknowledge that they
would like to do something? >> well, i think -- many of them do. you know, i get in trouble for saying this. but i get on -- we have very different views on a lot of things. but i've always had a straight relationship with the mjority -- with the republican leader, mitch mcconnell. you know, he's a guy that when he says something, he means it. i disagree with a lot of what he says, gut he means it. there are a number of -- >> jimmy: like when he said, we can't confirm a supreme court justice with a year left, then said the opposite? >> well, no, what he did -- i mean, look. he's a leader of a party that's moved very hard right. and so in order to get anything done, he has a different problem than he did early on, before trump became president. >> jimmy: it seems like maybe the party has moved hard right, but i don't know that the people have moved hard right. >> they haven't. >> jimmy: because people overwhelmingly believe we should hve serious background checks. [ cheers and applause ]
>> that's why -- >> jimmy: they overwhelmingly. >> look. jimmy, you may remember, the last time we did something serious about guns was when i passed the assault weapons ban. i was the guy that sponsored that, got it passed. limited the number of bullets that could be in a magazine. the whole background checks. a whole range of things. and we passed. and violent crime and gun crime dropped off. but i can only get it passed for ten years. it had to be reauthorized. when the first bush administration came along, they didn't reauthorize it, we didn't have the votes. so what happened was, all of a sudden, it came back. you could own assault weapons again. and guess what, crime went up significantly. three times. i mean, so there is a direct correlation between the kinds of weapons that can be had -- look. i met with every single family member of all those kids who were killed and the teachers killed out in -- down in uvalde, texas. and they stayed with me for
almost four hours, over 200 of them. meaning family and extended family. and the stories they told and the pain you could see on their faces. it just made you -- i mean, it just -- it leaves such a -- >> jimmy: shouldn't we demand that every senator in the united states sit with those families? [ applause ] >> well, the answer is -- i think we should make the demand. here's what has to happen. all of you folks, and i hope -- i'm not being facetious when i say this, i hope the republicans here as well, you've got to make sure that this becomes a voting issue. it's got to be one of those issues where you decide your position on the issue, senator, or candidate for house or senate, on what we're going to do with assault weapons and maybe it will have 300 rounds in a magazine, i mean -- what you say on those things is going to determine how i'm going to vote for you.
it should be one of those issues. >> jimmy: you're right, it is our fault that the people in house and congress can take responsibility for it, it is our fault, because we need so stop this. we need to do it. >> well, we did last time, as i've said. and it expired in 2004. >> jimmy: can you issue an executive order? trump passed those out like halloween candy. >> yes. [ applause ] i did. >> jimmy: isn't that something that could happen? >> well, i have issued executive orders, within the power of the presidency to be able to deal with these -- everything having to do with guns, gun ownership, whether or not you have to have a waiting -- all the things that were in my power. what i don't want to do, and i'm not being facetious, i don't want to emulate trump's abuse of the constitution and the constitutional authority. [ applause ] and so -- i mean that sincerely. i often get asked -- look, the republicans don't play it square, why do you play it suare? >> jimmy: yeah. >> guess what, if we do the same thing they do, our democracy will literally be in jeopardy. >> jimmy: well, yeah. >> it's not a joke. >> jimmy: i understand their
argument. but also, it's like you're playing monopoly with somebody who won't pass "go," won't follow any of the rules, and how do you ever make any progress if they're not following the rules? >> you've got to send them to jail. [ laughter ] there's that little box. >> jimmy: go directly to jail? i like that. the president is with us, joseph biden. we'll be right back to talk more. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ take a bite. feelin' fit. ♪ ♪ we're breaking the mold. ♪ ♪ estado dorado. ♪ ♪ shining like gold. ♪ ♪ estado dorado. ♪ ♪ vive en el estado dorado. live in the golden state ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we are back with president biden. and the first lady is with us, too, here in hollywood. >> and my granddaughter. >> jimmy: and your granddaughter is here, the family is here. [ cheers and applause ] >> and her fiance. yes, my daughter's birthday. >> jimmy: how about that, happy birthday. [ cheers and applause ] [ rim shot ] happy birthday, baby. >> jimmy: does somebody have to remind you of all that stuff, all this craziness going on? >> no, no, no. my dad used to have an expression, "family is the beginning, the middle, and the end." [ applause ]
>> jimmy: i think a lot of democrats are frustrated because, you know, we got out and voted, we won the house, the senate, the white house obviously. and still we have had -- made very little progress as far as i'm concerned when it comes to guns, obviously, reproductive rights, voting rights, climate change. all these things. in some ways we've moved backwards. >> well, and climate change, we've actually made some real moves. i mean we have, you know, one in seven of all the changes that have taken place in terms of solar, wind, and wind pumps -- i mean, pumps and the like, have occurred in the last 18 months. we've moved, and there's an opportunity with the process we have dealing with energy, to be able to gradually move more rapidly than we have been to alternative. for example, electric vehicles. jimmy, when i got elected, you know, i've pushed electric vehicles for the last, i don't
know, god knows how long. well, i had a conversation with the chairman of the board of general motors, mary barra. and she was suing california, remember. and -- because your standard was too high, she said. >> jimmy: right. >> guess what, we had a conversation, i about it a call from her three days, four days later. she dropped the suit and committed she's going to go all electric in the entire general motors line. by by 25, 2030, 50%. [ applause ] >> >> jimmy: that's amazing. ford came along and did the same thing. so we're on a path. and what is -- chrysler is doing the same thing. we're moving in directions that are being slow -- look. we won. i won by -- i got 81 million votes. more than anybody's ever gotten. and thank you for those who helped me.
[ cheers and applause ] but what's happened, jimmy, is we still only ended up with 50 senators. which means that we have 50 presidents. >> jimmy: two of them are kind of iffy, i think, at best. [ laughter ] >> well, here's the thing. it's interesting. you know, one of the things that's causing problems is that people think it's the democratic party that's so divided and the problem. the problem is, we have 48 out of 50 senators vote with me, 95% of the time. more than any president's gotten that kind of support from their constituency. but we only have 50. and you can't get even two, three, four republicans to vote. look what's happening now with regard to everything from the way they talk about this potential decision from the supreme court. i mean, it's going to be -- it's awful. >> jimmy: what do we do about that? and what do you say to joe manchin, kyrsten sinema? what do you say to them when you get them on the telephone? >> well, what i say to them is -- by the way, they agree on a lot of these proposals relating to everything from choice all the way to -- >> jimmy: i would hope so.
>> well, yeah, i know. but it's not like -- they are there 80% of the time. the place that they're not there is joe's not there on a lot of things having to do with the climate and environment, because he comes from coal country and he has a different view. and krysten is not always there in terms of the tax policies. look, here's where we are. we have the fastest-growing economy in the world. the world. the world. we have 8.6 million new jobs just since i got in office. unemployment rate's down to 3.6%. we've reduced the deficit last year by $320 billion, this year going to reduce it by $1.7 trillion. trillion. >> jimmy: right. >> and so we're the strongest economy. and that's allowed us at least to stay on top of and a little bit ahead of what's happening around the world. second thing is, look. inflation is the -- is the bane of our existence.
inflation is mostly in food and in -- at gasoline, at the pump. >> jimmy: that's what kills you, because it's a little billboard telling everyone how expensive everything is. if donald trump leaves one of those sharpies over for you, you could maybe change the price on that, you know. [ laughter ] >> we could. but here's the deal. you know, my dad used to say, "every family needs a little bit of breathing room." if you take and look at all the costs a family has on a monthly basis, it also includes health care, prescription drugs, child care, all those things. what i'm proposing, and i think we can get it done, i'm proposing that we, in fact, reduce the cost of those things. why should anybody, anybody in the audience know anybody who has to take insulin? every month? because they have type 2 diabetes? well, guess what? they're charging as high as 1,000 bucks a month in some places, average $647 a month on average. well, if i pass what i want to
get done, which we can do, we can do it relatively easy, it's not going to cost more than $35 a month. [ applause ] no, no, i'm not -- this is not, as our friends on fox would say, socialism. this is very practical. it costs 10 bucks to make a vial. so charging $35 gives them, you know, a significant profit. they don't need -- for example, our oil companies. oil companies, instead of everybody says, biden won't let them drill. they have 9,000 drilling sites that they've already owned that are there. they're not doing it. you know why? because they make more money not drilling and buying back their own stock. >> jimmy: it's all screwed up and that's the thing. >> it is screwed up, but we are only a few votes away from being able to straighten it out. you have to get the message across in a way that is understandable to people like the folks in my family when we grew up. tell people just what the facts
are. and the facts are, this is about building the economy. when i ran i said, i want to build a new economy. no more trickle-down. from the bottom-up, and the middle-out. when the middle does well, everybody does well. the wealthy do very, very well. the idea, there are 54 major corporations in america made $40 billion last year and don't pay a penny in taxes. not a penny. how many think the tax code is fair anywhere along the line? i'm not being facetious now, i'm being deadly earnest. they don't pay a penny. so if we had a minimum tax of 15%, just on -- the minimum of 15, doesn't hurt them at all, they make a lot of money still, and we can raise a lot of money to make sure that child care doesn't cost you 1,400 bucks a month. [ applause ] >> jimmy: this all makes perfect sense. and the fact that this makes sense is why it doesn't make
sense and why it seems so crazy and that we have so many problems and that -- maybe it's just that americans aren't as knowledgeable as they should be, or maybe there's a death star pumping false information into our brains. >> fox, right? >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] or maybe it's always been this way. i mean, here in l.a., what, a small fraction of people voted in the primary yesterday. then everybody wants to complain about everything. and it's just -- it's enough already. and i think you need to start yelling at people is really what i think. >> here's what i think, look. think about this. look what impact the pandemic has had on people. it has had enormous impact, negative impact. think of just your kids. how many got to go to a prom? how many got a graduation that got celebrated? how much has changed in terms of the relationships between people and how they interact with one another? so much has changed.
and we need -- vivek murthy, the surgeon general, talks about the need for significant mental health proposals relating to people who are feeling not knowing where they're going, not knowing how to respond, not knowing how to act. and so there's a lot we can do. but the bottom line is, i think, that we've seen such a radical shift in one party and the ability of that party to -- that minority, the maga folks -- >> jimmy: it's like we're living in two countries at once. >> yeah. >> jimmy: it's like, you can be -- sorry. >> i've never been more optimistic in my life. >> jimmy: why are you so optimistic? it makes no sense. [ applause ] >> no, it does. look at the kids. look at the young people. best educated, least prejudiced, most giving generation in american history. [ cheers and applause ] turn on the television. no, i'm serious. >> jimmy: there's something to that, yeah. >> i'm serious. turn on the tv, look at the ads.
when is the last time you saw biracial couples on tv? when is the last time you saw the way -- i mean, people are selling products, they do ads to sell products. they sell products when they appeal to people. this generation is going to change everything. we just got to make sure we don't give up. there's an ability for us to do everything from increase the access to education, health care. look what we did with health care. all the talk about it. i was able to reduce people's bills about tower hundred bucks a month. 400 bucks a month. >> jimmy: it has changed people's lives for the better, no question about it. >> a lot of major things we've done. but what we haven't done is we haven't been able to communicate it in a way that is -- let me say it another way. >> jimmy: see, that's kind of perfect, you haven't been able to communicate it. >> look how the press has changed. >> jimmy: it has changed. oh, listen, i get it. >> i know you overstand it. you don't just understand it, you overstand it. [ laughter ] here's the deal.
one of the things is that it's very difficult now to have a -- even with notable exceptions, even the really good reporters, they have to get a number of clicks on the nightly news. instead of asking a question -- anyway, everything gets sensationalized in ways that -- but i'm convinced we can get through it. we have to get through it. and one of the things -- look. >> jimmy: i'm going to take a break, then we'll talk a little more. “woooooooo!” less huge bills to pay off. “uhhhhhhh” more big hits. “oooooh.” less getting hit with hidden fees. “uhhhhhhhhhhhhh” more triple-digit pitches. “oooooh.” less triple-digit payments. “uhhhhhhhhhhhhh.”
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woohoo! bye bye! oh, i'm scared of heights too, grandma. but then i got tall! ha ha ha. >> jimmy: we are back with the president of the united states. [ cheers and applause ] just a process question. when you have sensitive documents that you need to flush down the toilet -- [ laughter ] is that done in your office toilet? or is that done in the bathroom in the personal bathroom area? >> i call trump. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i haven't -- you know, he talks about sensitive documents and the like -- i don't destroy anything. one of the things, i spent more time with xi jinping, any other head of state, and i'd always be -- i traveled with him 17,000 miles, spent 78 hours with him all told. i have a consecutive interpreter and he'd have one. the difference between when i
would do that and others would do it, i always landed in all my notes. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you've got to hand in your notes. we learn that in school, theoretically. >> that's right. >> jimmy: roe v. wade. boy, these things just keep coming at you, don't they? there's no -- you have not had an easy -- what a terrible job you have. [ laughter ] i'm glad you're doing it, but boy oh boy does this seem like a bad gig. >> you know, i think if the court overrules roe v. wade and does what it's drafted -- >> jimmy: what we fear they will, yeah. >> if that occurs, i think we have to legislate it. we have to make sure we pass legislation making it a law that is the federal government says, this is how it works. >> jimmy: yet another situation where most of the country is on the same page. [ applause ] something like 64% of americans do not want to see roe v. wade overturned. >> it's just going to be the beginning, by the way. you know, there used to be a case called connecticut versus
griswold. >> jimmy: oh, i'm very familiar with it. i'm not. [ laughter ] >> all kidding aside -- >> jimmy: is that from the "national lampoon vacation" movie? >> it is. connecticut versus griswold said you could not use contraception in the privacy of your own bedroom, because in the constitution there was no right to privacy. so they can outlaw, and if you use contraception, it was against the law. you couldn't purchase contraception. and, you know, there's a whole range of things that are at stake here when we talk about eliminating roe v. wade and all its -- all the -- >> jimmy: same-sex marriage. >> i mean, it's just ridiculous. in my view. and i don't think the country will stand for it. but i think what we're going to have to do, there's some executive orders i could employ. we believe, we're looking at that right now. but i want to keep -- [ applause ] >> jimmy: employ them. >> hey, look. it's clear that if, in fact, the decision comes down the way it does and these states impose the limitations they're talking
about, it's going to cause a mini revolution. they're going to vote a lot of these folks out of office. we've got to keep it focused on -- if they overrule roe v. wade, california won't do it, but other states say that you cannot do the following, it's the law, you can't cross the border, all the things that some states have. you've got to make sure that you vote. you've got so vote. let people know exactly what the devil you think. [ applause ] >> jimmy: we have to vote for people who are fighting for this country and not just reacting to these horrible things, because we should have done something about gun violence a long time ago. the climate is something -- we could all look back at these days and go, oh my god, why didn't we -- >> we have made some progress there. >> jimmy: some, some. >> but it's moving. it's moving. my mother used to say, out of everything bad something good will come of it if you look hard enough for it.
so the reduction on the use of oil also increases the need to find alternatives. >> jimmy: yeah. >> that's why i'm going over to the g7, the seven largest economies in the world, and meeting in germany in a couple of week. >> we're looking hard for the good things, and we're glad you're looking hard for the good things too. >> we can do this. this is the united states of america. we can do this. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i hope you're right. president biden, everyone. thank you, mr. president. we'll be back with jack janson. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ let's do a song ♪ ♪ ♪ another round? i'm good. ♪ let's do a song ♪ ♪ ♪
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♪ ♪ how can you be so certain that you're the one flirting with fire ♪ ♪ if each choir needs preaching ♪ ♪ and everyone's reaching into their pockets to see what they got ♪ ♪ not a lot has changed but if everything's changing blame to see you sin ♪ ♪ but no one sees face-to-face or eye-to-eye this is not how it has to end ♪ ♪ who wants to be one step ahead and the first to the punchline ♪ ♪ one step ahead first to the punchline ♪ ♪ ♪ when it feels like it's all closing in mmm all the lines we won't cross we bend instead ♪
♪ never mind all the noise going through your head oh ♪ ♪ cause every time we talk we say the same things that we say ♪ ♪ cause you never mind all the noise going through your head ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ how can i be so certain in my first impressions are mine ♪ ♪ if each morning we wake up with circles around me that say ♪ ♪ i got mine i give in i give up it's too much ♪ ♪ come one let's give 'em hell no why not love you say ♪ ♪ be too hard and that's not enough in this house of cards ♪ ♪ who wants to be one step ahead and the first to the punchline ♪ ♪ just one step ahead the first
to the punchline ♪ ♪ when it feels like it's all won't cross we bend instead ♪ ♪ never mind all the noise going through your head oh ♪ ♪ cause every time we talk we say the same things that we say ♪ ♪ and every line we cross we say the same things that we say ♪ ♪ every time we try we play the same old games it's all been said ♪ ♪ now never mind all the noise going through your head ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> lou: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz the best or nothing.
ruh roh. what are you doing here? it's anna gomez! who? our first gigillionaire! with at&t fiber, anna's got the fastest internet with hyper-gig speeds. i didn't know you went to this school. we have a lot in common. live like a gigillionaire with at&t fiber. now with speeds up to 5-gigs. limited availability. >> jimmy: thanks to jack johnson and president joe biden. apologies to matt damon, we ran out of time for him. "nightline" is next. thanks for watching, and god bless america. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
♪ ♪ this is "nightline." >> tonight, birthing while black. with maternal mortality rates on the rise, we meet a team supporting expectant mothers. >> when women reach out to me, especially black women, the number one thing is, what do i feel, fear. >> helping women navigate their options. we're with an all-black nursing team, the midwifes and the doulas at the birth. >> just a big feeling of, wow, i did it. hunter biden's ex-wife, breaking their silence, talking about their marriage and his tumultuous personal life. >> he was struggling under a massive drug addiction.