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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  July 9, 2021 11:35pm-12:37am PDT

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guest hosts wanda sykes, colin farrell. temperatures really heating up this weekend. see you br from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" with guest host wanda sykes! tonight, colin farrell -- quinta brunson, a kid with a huge mouth, and music from japanese breakfast. and now, wanda sykes! [ cheers and applause ] >> wanda: thank you! thank you. thank you so much. have a seat. thank you so much. hello and welcome to "jimmy kimme live." i'm your guest host, wanda sykes. [ aplause ]
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this is my second night here. last night, i started a rumor that jimmy's in rehab. [ laughter ] i encouraged you all to tweet your support for jimmy with the hashtag #cottonmouthkimmel. a lot of you reached out with words of encouragement. "jimmy, hope rehab going good." "good luck jimmy kimmel you can make it! one day at a time." "sending strength and positive vibes to cotton mouth kimmel. you got this, bro." [ applause ] that's a good start, but we can't stop now. jimmy needs us more than ever. oh, and i failed to mention last night, the thing he's addicted to? is steroids.
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oh, it's a tough time, but he's jacked as hell right now. so please, show him you care. use our new hashtag -- #jackedupjimmy. [ applause ] jimmy, we're sending our best to you, and your scrunched up 'roid nuts. we have a special guest on the show tonight. all the way from minneapolis, the kid who holds the guinness world record for the biggest mouth gape. he's 16 years old, and his mouth can fit all kinds of stuff. here he is backstage earlier today having a quadruple burger. and later, we're gonna put that jaw to the test. speaking of big mouth kids, donald trump. remember him? well, you're note going to believe this, but he said something crazy. according to a new tell-all book, back in 2019, trump told his chief of staff, and i quote:
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"hitler did a lot of good things." now to be fair, we don't know which hitler trump was talking about. could have been steve hitler. guillermo, was there a steve hitler? >> guillermo: i don't think so. >> wanda: i don't think so, either. come on. "hitler did a lot of good things." hitler only did one good thing -- he killed hitler. [ applause ] this is interesting. according to new research, counties that voted for trump have lower vaccination rates. 80% of democrats have received at least one shot of a vaccine. only 45% of republicans have had one shot. you know, for a party that claims to be pro-life, they're acting very pro-death.
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[ applause ] they say republican men are the least likely to get vaccinated, but they are the most likely to google "pill that fixes baldness and penis." that's true. >> guillermo: yes, it is. yes. >> wanda: less than half the country is fully vaccinated, which is ridiculous. basically, dying from covid in america at this point is optional. it's like getting gored at the running of the bulls. you get a horn up your ass, that's on you. hey, at least we have a vaccine now. right? it's easy to forget how bad things were a year ago, so let's take a look back in tonight's edition of "this week in covid history."
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>> this week in covid history, it's july 2020. and america's punch bowl has been spiked. >> we had a big spike. >> southern california, which is also seen a big spike. >> texas experiences a major >>ne othe est . >> that's an amazing spike. >> no, this is an amazing spike. look at him go. good boy, spike. what were we talking about? oh, yes, things are bad. it's even tearing through tulsa town. >> we do have the highest number you know, we've had significant events in the past few weeks that more than likely contributed to that. >> what baloney brain would hold a huge event during a pandemic? >> make america great again. >> he's super spreading the news. the good news. >> we're doing a great job. we've made a lot of progress. >> i think we're going to be in very good shape. >> if anyone knows good shape, it's president porchay the
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country is in good shape right now? >> a lot of hospitalizations are not pertaining to covid. a lot of it is elective surgeries and other surgeries that have opened up. >> it's an epidemic of boob jobs, and here comes the biggest boob of them all, finally wearing a mask. >> i think it's a great thing to wear a mask. i've never been against masks. >> never? let's go to the microfiche. >> i think wearing a facemask, i don't know, i don't see it for myself. i just don't. >> you're going to have to take that off, please. >> he's got the largest mask i think i've ever seen. >> joe feels very safe in a mask. maybe he doesn't want to ecxpos his face. >> i don't want to touch it. >> don't mask, don't tell, but watch your back donnie del wheeze. obama's old pal is after your job. kanye west has thrown his hat in
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the ring, t.j. he's been talking about running for president for a while. >> and he already has a slogan. jesus, take the wheel. that was this week in covid history. >> wanda: boy, how far we haven't come. so the olympics are about two weeks away. yesterday we learned that america's fastest woman, sha'carri richardson, will not compete in the games. sha'carri was suspended because she tested positive for marijuana. which is considered a performance-enhancing drug by the dopes at the world anti-doping agency. that makes no sense. marijuana doesn't enhance your performance at all, unless that performance is taking down a bag of tostitos. i think we're looking at this the wrong way. sha'carri richardson won't miss the olympics, the olympics will miss sha'carri richardson.
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[ applause ] why are they even doing the olympics? nobody in japan wants them. tokyo declared a covid state of emergency today. they may not even have any fans in the stands. the whole thing is a mess. i say we postpone the olympics until sha'carri runs out of gummies. she runs out of gummies. who's with me? [ applause ] meanwhile, something's going down in canada that we need to discuss. you know ikea, the furniture/meatball makers? well, ikea in canada tried to do something nice to honor pride month. they put out a line of sofas that were supposed to be a celebration of the lgbtq community. i got all the letters, right?
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did i leave anything out? >> guillermo: no, all the letters perfect. great job. >> wanda: thank you. but they made some very questionable choices. and one of the writers here at the show has some very strong feelings about them. here to weigh in on the ikea pride sofas is louis virtel, to tell it like it is. [ applause ] >> thank you, wanda. pride-themed couches from ikea! this topic is important to me because one, i'm gay. two, i own a couch. you think i watch "wheel of fortune" on a beanbag? dream on. ikea's pride couches are based on the color schemes of the various pride flags. like many queer people, these couches are bright, bold, and sometimes so tacky i can't stand it. take a look at this couch inspired by the gay pride flag. that's real.
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if i told you that it was inspired by something, would you guess "pride flag"? i would guess "hawaiian funeral." there's a volcano nearby, and that's where we're dumping aunt kathy's ashes. next, a couch inspired by the lesbian pride flag. couches are crucial for lesbians, because as you know, many lesbians disappear in their homes for months at a time, hanging out with their wonderful dogs who are always named "luna." i like this couch. it looks like every blouse blanche wore on "the golden girls." okay, next, stick with me here, a couch inspired by the asexual pride flag. this sofa looks like a dancer from the moulin rouge died inside of it and that's all that's left of her.
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okay, this next couch is inspired by the transgender pride flag. i think it's the cutest one. i don't have room in my place right now for a unicorn nursery, but maybe i will in the future. now watch this. now, here's the most controversial one of all. please prepare yourselves and avert your gay kids' eyes. this is real. this couch is inspired by the bisexual pride flag. yes. oh yes. oh yes. that couch would strangle you in "beetlejuice." it says "when you change 'or' to 'and,' no one believes you." and it's inexplicably covered in severed arms and hands. can you imagine bringing a date home to this? "yeah, let's hook up on the
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'nobody believes you' couch." in short, it's a friendly "no" from me. queer people are constantly standing up for their rights, and ikea is literally telling us to sit down. i'd like to change ikea's couches myself, but instead i'll send them a 30-page manual and a tiny little wrench and let them fix it themselves. wanda? >> wanda: thank you louis. we've got a good show for you tonight. quinta brunson is here. we have music from japanese breakfast. and we'll be right back with colin farrell. ♪ ♪ ain't got no melody ♪ >> abc's "jimmy kimmel live!" brought to you by allstate.
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♪ >> wanda: welcome back to "jimmy kimmel live." i'm wanda sykes. tonight, her new book is called "she memes well." quinta brunson is here. then later, their critically acclaimed album is called "jubilee" -- music from japanese breakfast. and as i mentioned, the kid with the giant mouth too. that's gonna be weird. i'll be back tomorrow night with nick kroll, chiney ogwumike from the l.a. sparks, and music from macy gray and the california jet club. and make sure to watch my friend anthony anderson in primetime tomorrow hosting "jimmy kimmel live nba finals game night," with his guest jason momoa. that's the sexy fish man.
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our first guest is easily in the top 3 of ireland's finest imports. he's an award-winning actor whom you can now see playing henry drax, a brutish, psychopathic murderer -- and those are his good points -- in the five-part tv series, "the anot i guessing you think mckendricks not the culprit. >> do you think he killed the boy? >> isn't for me to say. >> isn't it? >> it's no concern of mine. >> i'm not sure i agree with that. [ applause ] >> wanda: "the north water" premieres a week from tomorrow on amc plus. "plus" means you have to pay for it. please say hello to colin farrell. [ applause ] ♪
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>> wanda: hey, colin. >> i should have brought the measuring tape. >> wanda: i know, right? >> god, it's no joking. i assume you've shown the audience numerous times, because everyone is in a mask, of course. >> wanda: yeah, they're in a mask. all masked up. >> hi everyone, in your masks. [ applause ] i just assume you're all constantly laughing quietly at how humorous i am over the next few minutes. >> wanda: yeah, exactly. >> good for the ego. >> wanda: they should put like smiley faces or something. >> put a smile on a mask. no, that would take too long. >> wanda: so colin, i know you, and you're a nice guy. and this character you're playing is creepy as hell. he's very scary.
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i mean, like, he murders like three or four sailors, and there's some -- >> yes, he murders at least a few. >> wanda: yeah. >> yeah, he's a bad man. there was a darkness at the heart of this fellow that is the color of night. yeah. he has no apology, he's just a creature. he has an ideology, he's a creature of nature, and when he wants to fill in the gap, he'll fill in the gap when he wants to fill in another gap, he'll do that. he has no compunction, no apology. and a terrifying individual, yeah. fun to play. >> wanda: yeah. and you shot this like in the north pole? >> we were up in the arctic. >> wanda: it's so barren up there. >> man, it was beautiful. >> wanda: yeah? >> yeah. we were up there with polar bears. we were the furthest north, there's been documentaries obviously shot much further north, but we were 500 miles from the north pole. and we were about 300 miles from
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any land or any civilization at all. and it was the furthest north any show had been shot. we had polar bear watches. what they'd do, they'd take a boat. there was three boats we all lived on, a crew of 150. and we would park the boat beside a large chunk of ice. they would get you have the boat the expedition that we worked with, and they would drill three holes in the ice. then they would put logs in the holes, tie a rope from the boat on to the logs, because each piece of ice would move 10 miles in 24 hours. we would shoot on the ice, get up in the morning and shoot on the same piece of ice until it broke, which it broke while we were on it. i asked one of the lads, how deep is the ice, it's got to be 20, 30 feet. he's like, no, no, it's three feet deep. i said [ bleep ] what now? i had ice cubes and straight whisky that were deeper than three feet deep. and so -- but it was lovely to be there.
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it was so quiet, except for the wind that was howling. and we saw polar bears three feet away. what i was saying with the polar bear watches for protection and watches. thank god we never encountered one up close, because if it did what nature would prescribe it does, somebody would have shot it. and that would have been a worth it? a tv show and is it - but polar bears 50 feet away from us, on the boat. at night, we saw polar videos. i have it on my iphone. a shaky video because i was so excited. the most beautiful thing ever, a walrus visited us one day, and seals everywhere. i kind of got for the first time i never questioned before is why people in the past who found themselves on expeditions, into places that were hostile, always when they came back to more civilized parts of the planet, felt like a magnetic pull back. i got it. it's something that's so bewitching about the place. it was so beautiful. >> wanda: you did something crazy there, speaking of the polar bears and the water.
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i saw something on your little video, you did the polar bear -- >> oh, the polar plunge. >> wanda: do we have that? >> no! [ bleep ] [ applause ] >> it was cold. did you see that errant finger coming in. somebody was screaming at me, "swim out further." >> wanda: no. i want to know that those little socks that you had on, what was the purpose of that? did they help any at all? >> just for standing on the snow. not for a second. no, bad idea. it took a while, i had to crack them off at the end of it. >> wanda: oh, my god. >> is he telling the truth? >> wanda: so you shot this before covid? >> yeah. it was a very different place. >> wanda: yeah.
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and then you were working on "batman." did you go from here to the "batman"? >> yeah, it was fun. thanks, person. [ laughter ] >> i was in london, wanda, shooting that. >> wanda: did you get to finish that? >> i finished it about five months out. so i was in london when it started to hit the fan, and i was very glib about it in the beginning. i was like, everybody needs to chill, it's just the flu. what the [ bleep ] do i know? but i went there. and then the border starts to be closed out and i got out on the third last plane to come back here. when i came back here, that was march i think when i came back here. it was armageddon. it was very strange. i went to me local gelson's to stock up on some groceries because we were going into quarantine. and i bumped into a producer friend i hadn't seen in years. he looked like he was about to perform oral surgery. he had gloves, a mask. you know, his shopping cart like a game of jenga. it was stacked up, wobbling.
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it was insane. and then yeah, we locked down and what a year it's been for everyone in so many ways. what a tragic and difficult year of social unrest and essential things happening that needed to happen, and ugliness that we've seen. you know, the homelessness here. it's pretty tough to see. >> wanda: yeah. >> i teared up here like a -- excuse me. but it's pretty tough to see. i don't get it. i don't understand how so many people can be on the street. i say that knowing full-out how fortunate i am. i live in a nice house. i have a very nice existence. >> wanda: but you're right, we do need -- you're right. [ applause ] you're absolutely right. we need to do something. yeah, it's bad. it's bad. but things are opening back up, and you ever been to ireland?
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in a long time? >> not in a long time. i miss it. i'm going back soon. >> wanda: okay, cool. >> yeah, going back soon. it will be interesting. >> wanda: i always wanted to go. >> you haven't been? >> wanda: no, no. >> was ever up for discussion to take your show there or would you go as a tourist? would you by the kids? >> wanda: i just want to get a drink. i just want to get [ bleep ] faced. my kids are 12. >> yeah, so [ bleep ]. how is that working out for you? >> wanda: oh, boy. it's all about the phone. that's all they want. >> the ipad where we live. >> wanda: that's the only way you can, like, punish them. take away phone time. >> and with the belt. >> wanda: we can't talk about the belt. [ bleep ], colin. >> sorry, sorry. i'm in america. the switch. >> wanda: good lord. >> sorry, the switch. >> wanda: good lord, you're about to lose it, i'm going to beat the [ bleep ] out of my kids. >> yes, it's broad spectrum
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interview. broad spectrum. >> wanda: well, i love you. thank you for being here.g me o. >> thanks, love. >> wanda: and say hi to the family and all. >> thanks. >> wanda: "the north water" premieres a week from tomorrow on am "c" plus. thanks, colin. we'll be back with quinta brunson. ♪ >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by credit karma money -- a rewarding way to spend and sve.
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♪ >> wanda: welcome back. our next guest is a very funny and pint-sized actress, comedian, and the current reigning queen of memes. she makes her book debut with a collection of personal essays called "she memes well." it's on bookshelves now. please say hello to quinta brunson. [ applause ] ♪
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>> wanda: quinta, thank you for being here. >> thank you so much for having me. what an honor to get to talk to you. >> wanda: you know, first time we met, you interviewed me up in silicon valley somewhere. so i wanted to interview quinta. >> thanks, wanda. always paying it forward. thank you, yes. i don't know if you remembered me from that. >> wanda: absolutely. >> i thought you might have thought i was a whole different person, and then later you liked a separate me from a different comedy, like from stand-up or something. i didn't know. so that's cool to know. >> wanda: i liked you then. i was like, she's going places. >> i took that to heart, and then i went places. >> wanda: you did. you did. [ applause ] i really like your book. i was reading some of it today.
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i really like it. great job, great job. >> thank you. >> wanda: explain to them the title "she memes well" and how that took off. >> yeah. so "she memes well" is a play of words, if you will. the first time that i was seen in the world, i was a meme. a meme, he got money meme. a he got money meme. i'm not sure -- yeah, all right. i was about to generalize. i'm not sure how much of the white audience -- then my girl right there. and then it was a play on kind of like being a meme, going through the viral journey, going through the internet journey and transforming into a more traditional actress and writer and creator. and then, you know, "she memes well" is because i do my very best. i do my very best. and sometimes it might suck, but i still did my best. and i think that's true for so many people. and i wanted that to represent a generation. [ applause ]
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you know, trying. >> wanda: what did your parents think when they saw like your face all over the internet? because, yeah, i know like my parents, they're like, what is this meme stuff? >> see, your parents are doing better than mine. my parents are like -- they didn't know. i think the whole meme phase is not even a thing to them. my mom googled me recently. she doesn't know what a meme is. she said, quinta, i saw a picture of you on the google. [ laughter ] and it was your face and it was some writing on it. and the writing said, people be gay. what does that mean, quinta. i was like, mom, it's a meme. she said, now, what's a meme? i was like, i can't even -- that's it, yes. >> wanda: i love that. >> she couldn't comprehend. you look nice. at least you're wearing
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lipstick and earrings. but who said people be gay. i did, clearly. but the whole concept is foreign. they support me now. >> wanda: that was huge. so it was all over the place, especially just coming through pride month. >> yes. >> my favorite is pride month because it's nice. it gets to be a meme that is shared by members of the lgbtqia community. and it's nice to be a part of it in that way, yeah. >> wanda: from the community, i want to say thank you, because it is also very important and it's helpful when another, you know, african-american speaks out in support of the gay community. so we thank you for that. [ applause ] really. it means a lot. it means a lot. >> what's funny about that meme is it was born from my -- like, she doesn't have to speak out anymore, but people be gay, that's the thing. they've been forever.
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but i'm so happy to be in that way to, you know, be a part of that. >> wanda: thank you. >> of course. [ applause ] >> wanda: you, let me tell you, i missed you last season on "the black lady sketch show," but it's still a great show. >> yes. >> wanda: and you, you killed it on that. so your parents, did they watch that? >> no, see, here's the thing. my parents are not -- i don't want to show that to them. so i say hbo doesn't work anymore. they canceled the whole hbo -- it's crazy, they went out of business. you know, that's not for their christian viewing either. >> wanda: i feel you on that. >> pretend it doesn't exist. >> wanda: what do they watch, then? >> my mom, she watches westerns. that's her thing. she still watches like "bonanza" and "the young riders." i don't know if you know these shows. she watches the western channel,
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which is a thing. >> wanda: my brother watches that. >> yeah. it's a whole channel. >> wanda: yeah. >> and my bad, he watches "bones."just bes more of that. >> you should tell him that. he watches it on netflix. the only reason he got netflix is because he heard "bones" was on there. and when he does get out of that, it's movies about submarines specifically. "red october," other movies about submarines. but yeah, that's it. so coming out to play for me on a different thing is a special event. so i appreciate it. >> wanda: well, we got to get you on a western with david boreanaz and a submarine. >> let's make it happen, hollywood. [ applause ] hbo?
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no, they don't exist. i forget. they don't exist. >> wanda: but you have a show coming out, congratulations on that. >> thank you. >> wanda: you have a show coming out on abc. >> yeah. >> wanda: abbott elementary," right? >> "abbott elementary". >> wanda: and it takes place in philadelphia? >> it takes place in philadelphia and it is loosely based on my mom's experience as a public schoolteacher in philadelphia. and she just had countless stories over her 40 years serving the philadelphia school district, that i -- yes. [ applause ] yes, teachers, yes! i love that. make sure you watch it. it's like a fun show, it's straight up comedy, which is what i'm excited about, too. we're dealing with people, everyday people and their work situations that they love, which may not be the best situations to us, but people do the job of teacher, because they want to do it. because they can do it, because they're good at it.
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and then that's what it's about. >> wanda: well, i'm so proud of you. >> it's really cool. i have to say while i have you here, thank you to you. because without you, there would be no me. all i did when i was little was watch you stand up. >> wanda: wow. >> yrap >> wanda: all right. well, now i've got kick you off the show. but thank you so much for being here. i have mad respect for you. >> thanks. >> wanda: and like i said, you're going place. her book "she memes well" is out now. and "abbott elementary" is coming soon to abc. thanks, quinta. we'll be back with the kid with the big mouth. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ this is hal. this is hal's heart. it's been broken. and put back together. this is hal's relief, knowing he's covered by medicare from blue cross blue shield.
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>> wanda: most parents claim their 16-year-olds have a big mouth, but our next guest has a guinness world record to prove it. all the way from minneapolis, minnesota, please welcome the very mouthy isaac johnson. [ cheers and applause ] so isaac, you're too young to vote but you have a guinness world record. what's the official title? >> so as much as i hate it, the official title for the world record is, guinness world record's world's largest mouth gape. [ laughter ] could be better. >> wanda: that's the most
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ridiculous title i've ever heard. >> uh-huh, you and me both. >> wanda: does anyone else want this title except you? >> you feel like it wouldn't be popular at first. but i -- i reclaim -- when i first got the title in 2019, i got it from a man in germany. and then after it only being announced for a couple months, another kid from pennsylvania beat it. so then it took me another year, then i had to beat it back. [ laughter ] so i guess it actually is. >> wanda: in high demand, okay, geez. >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> wanda: does your mother ever threaten to wash your mouth out with a gallon of soap? [ laughter ] >> not yet, you never know. >> wanda: isaac, we thought it would be fun to play a game with you. we're going to present you with a variety of objects and the audience is going to guess whether it will fit in your mouth or not. >> okay. >> wanda: it's time for "will it fit?" [ cheers and applause ] guillermo, what is our first object?
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>> guillermo: it is a softball. >> wanda: audience, will isaac be able to get his teeth around this softball? okay, isaac, let's see if it will fit. damn. ♪ it fits! [ cheers and applause ] easy. okay. he said that was easy. what's next, guillermo? >> guillermo: it's a brick. >> wanda: that's a brick. >> oh, well, that's -- >> wanda: audience? will the brick fit inside isaac's mouth? okay. now the moment of truth. oh my gosh! it fits! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] what do we have, guillermo? >> guillermo: a magnifying glass. >> wanda: a magnifying glass, okay. audience, what do you think? all right. isaac, will this magnifying glass fit in your mouth?
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ that's easy, okay. it fit! what do we have now? >> guillermo: a baby doll head. >> oh, my, this is not going to look good at all. [ laughter ] >> wanda: come on. audience? they think you can do it. let's see. okay. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ what's the last item, guillermo? >> guillermo: it's a vhs from the movie "jaws." >> wanda: will it fit, audience? all right, go for it, isaac. wow, "jaws" is in the jaws, it fit! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ thank you all for playing this ridiculous game. and thanks, isaac, for lifting up your amazing mouth. we have a few prizes for you. >> thank you.
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>> wanda: we got you a monogrammed toothbrush. [ cheers and applause ] and we heard you wanted a ps5, so we got you that too. we'll be right back! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> next week on "jimmy kimmel live!" guest hosts arsenio hall, bebe robinson and nick kroll with richard e. grant, chris bosh, megan fox, seth rogen, and lebron james. also on sunday, be sure to watch "jimmy kimmel live!" nba finals game night with guest host anthony anderson and johnny knoxville. before the game on the east coast and after the game on the west. that's next week on "jimmy kimmel live!."
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ok, at at&t everyone gets our best deals on all smartphones. let me break it down. you got your new customers — they get our best deals. you got your existing customers — they also get our best deals. everyone. gets. the deals. questions? got it. but, why did you use a permanent marker? because i want to make sure you remember. i am going to get a new whiteboard. it's not complicated. only at&t gives everyone our best deals on every smartphone. like the samsung galaxy s21 5g for free. frank is a fan of fast. he's a fast talker. a fast walker. thanks, gary. and for unexpected heartburn... frank is a fan of pepcid. it works in minutes. nexium 24 hour and prilosec otc
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can take one to four days to fully work. pepcid. strong relief for fans of fast. the new lexus is is all in on style. all in, all day. and all in on power. this is what excellence looks like, people. and this is what exhilaration feels like. the new lexus is. all in on style. all in on performance. all in one package. like me. yeah, we'll see about that. the new lexus is. experience amazing at your lexus dealer. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ welcome to allstate. ♪ ♪
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you already pay for car insurance, why not take your home along for the ride? allstate. here, better protection costs a whole lot less. you're in good hands. click or call to bundle today. is someone trying to steal your butterfinger? call the bfi. whoa... i'm going in. [alarm beeping] ♪ no one lays a finger on your butterfinger. this is what freedom sounds like. and this. this is what freedom smells like. ♪ ahhh, enjoy 30 days of open-road freshness. febreze car. la, la, la, la, la how did kellogg's combine crunchy oat clusters with a touch of honey... plump, juicy raisins and tasty fiber into one delicious cereal? it took a lot of bran-storming.
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get it? kellogg's raisin bran crunch. two scoops of delicious. todd! hey, wait. i can't just stay here and wait for you to figure out what you want. i just need a little more time. how are you still so unsure of this steven? what am i supposed to do? leave my family? -yes, people do it every day. -stop overthinking it steven! book the bachelor party in vegas! thanks, captain obvious. wow, your pectoral muscles are outstanding. -what? -what? what? booking a trip can feel dramatic, but with free cancellation you can't go wrong with oroweat small slice. i wonder if this has the same quality ingredients as the original whole grains bread?
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great question, dad. and it does. it has all the same nutritious deliciousness as the original slice but only a little bit smaller. just like timmy here. my name's lucas. it sure is bobby. >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. >> wanda: it is now music time. their album "jubilee" is out now.
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with the song "paprika" from the sellersville theatre in pennsylvania, japanese breakfast! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ lucidity came slowly i aw from dreams of untying a great knot it unraveled like a braid ♪ ♪ into what seemed were thousands of separate strands of fishing line ♪ ♪ attached to coarse behavior it flowed a calm it urged what else is here ♪ ♪ how's it feel to be at the center of magic to linger in tones and words ♪ ♪ i opened the floodgates and found no water no current, no river no rush ♪ ♪ how's it feel to stand at the height of your powers to
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captivate every heart projecting your visions ♪ ♪ to strangers who feel it who listen who linger on every word ♪ ♪ oh, it's a rush oh it's a rush ♪ ♪ oh, it's a rush ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ but alone it feels like dying
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all alone i feel so much i want my offering to woo, to calm, to clear, to solve ♪ ♪ but the only offering that comes, it calls, it screams, there's nothing here ♪ ♪ how's it feel to be at the center of magic to linger in tones and words i opened the floodgates ♪ ♪ and found no water no current, no river no rush ♪ ♪ how's it feel to stand at the height of your powers to captivate every heart projecting your visions ♪ ♪ to strangers who feel it who listen, who linger on every word ♪ ♪ oh, it's a rush oh what a
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rush ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing.
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i'm so glad you're ok, sgt. houston. this is sam with usaa. do you see the tow truck? yes, thank you, that was fast. sgt. houston never expected this to happen.
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or that her grandpa's dog tags would be left behind. but that one call got her a tow and rental... ...paid her claim... ...and we even pulled a few strings. making it easy to make things right: that's what we're made for. usaa. what you're made of, we're made for. get a quote today. >> wanda: that is all the time we have tonight. i'd like to thank colin farrell, quinta brunson, isaac johnson, and japanese breakfast. i'll be back tomorrow night with nick kroll and the l.a. sparks' chiney ogwumike with music from macy gray and the california jet club. "nightline" is next.
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california jet club. "nightline" is next. an ♪ this is "nightline." >> tonight, killer motive. the string of deadly events changing one family forever. >> you could -- you could see the -- indentation on his chest. >> two tragedies, one fatal connection. >> it wasn't an accident. >> a daughter's growing suspicion. >> he smiled like a cheshire cat and he said, it's been 22 years, they haven't caught me yet and they're not going to. >> what would it take to finally get justice? i used to pre-rinse because mom did. but i wasted up to 20 gallons of water every time. now, we just scrape and load.


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