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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  June 23, 2021 11:35pm-12:38am PDT

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watching >> announcer: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- billy crystal. emma corrin. and music from seventeen. and now -- jimmy kimmel! >> jimmy: hi everyone. thank you. thank you very much. welcome. welcome. hi. i'm jimmy. i'm the host. i have to tell you that i am excited. that's nice. i am happy to see other human beings, too. we are coming to you from the city of los angeles, where you know we have a lot of weird stuff in l.a. we have earthquakes. we have wildfires.
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we have kardashians. we have mountain lions. last night we had cows. >> all night long sheriff deputies have been trying to corral the cows in cul-de-sacs but they keep escaping. >> they may decide to take matters in their own hands, and we are go to back up as a cow goes down the street. and this is one determined cow. did they get the cow in? did they get the cow in? where is the cow, sir? >> jimmy: a real terror. you know, in a place like wyoming, that would have been handled in about ten minutes. here we have 15 yoga instructors standing on the hoods of their teslas shooting instagram videos of the cows. speaking of the cows, the top in
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congress, margely taylor greene has introduced legislation she is calling the fire fauci act which would not fire fauci but reduce his salary down to $0 a year. isn't that crazy she deserves the $174,000 we pay and not himi they claim failing to provide accurate information about the covid-19 pandemic. the woman that believes hillary clinton eats baby pepperoni pizza. partly thanks to a release of dr. fauci's e-mails which have given the q nuts a new thing to chew on. >> dr. fauci lied over and over again. now his e-mails have come out, people have seen the truth. this is not a man that cared about the american people. he lied to president trump and told him millions of people
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would die when he stated in his own e-mails sever sever sever thousand people would die. >> jimmy: was she hoping for more? how about they pass a fire marjorie taylor greene out of a cannon act into mexico. have a lottery to decide who can light the fuse. marjorie's personal lord and savior, donald trump, i don't know what is going on. trump's inner circle is almost as small as his hands right now. even jared and. >> j.t.: -- ivanka are skipping out. trump has become so distant from ivanka that he started to call her eric. they say trump is now without his family at his side he has become increasingly surrounded by shady groupies and enablers
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who take advantage of him to advance their agendas. good news for most of us, for some it is creating a financial strain. >> after a half decade of dominating the public consciousness, donald trump is slowly fading from the public eye. you may have forgotten about him. >> but please, don't forget about us. >> did you know 4 out of 5 trump impressionists on cameo are living below the poverty line. >> sad. >> that's horrible. >> we desperately need your help. >> i've got bigly expenses. >> my monthly mortgage, huge. >> trump may not pay his taxes, but i have to. >> i gave up my living room for this. >> i gained 75 pounds for this role, and that's a lot. >> i spent $80 a week on spray
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tan. >> i spent $200 on a trump puppet. what the [ bleep ] was i thinking? >> i can't even pronounce gina the normal way anymore. >> gina. >> it's terrible. >> please, keep ordering from us. >> where else are you going to get your racist uncle. >> need to fire someone, hire me to spice it up. >> i will tell your contractor he is getting stiffed. i will tell your porn star, she is getting stiffed. >> and don't forget about me. be best. >> please. don't make me go back to doing borat. >> that would be very nice, hah. >> paid for by -- >> people are hit pretty hard. >> jimmy: now it is family time. how old is aunt chippy
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guillermo? >> she is old. >> jimmy: she is my real aunt and my cousin sal's aunt. we have not seen her a lot because of covid. we told her that before she comes into the show, into the theater she has to have a medical examine. we set up a medical tent in the parking lot. we flew her out. when she showed up, cousin sal and i got to work. >> she is in a good mood, i hope. >> probably is. >> otherwise do it a different day. >> all right. >> hi there. why don't you go ahead and sanitize your hands and sit down and we will get started. >> what is your first name.
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concetta. >> sorry. slower for me. >> con -- >> she is already mad. >> all right. let me get a few of these screeners out of the way. how often do you exercise? >> never. >> how often do you urinate? >> mostly in the middle of the night. >> do you make a bowel movement? >> when i have to, yeah. >> and how is that for you? >> fine. >> okay. do you love it -- >> do i what? >> do you love it? is it easy for you? >> at times. >> how long does it take? >> how long does it take to move my bowels? >> just in case there is something that we need to look at a longer amount of time. normal. >> do you smoke? >> yes.
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>> how much? >> maybe two cigarettes a day. >> two. >> i would have guessed more. looks like you have a life except aens of 49. >> i should have died at 49. >> yeah. that would have been 1992. got to get you measured. >> this, i hate this. >> when you get the number go whoa. >> whoa. i think you set the record. maybe if you smoked more two. but it is good to lose weight. >> tell me about it. let me tell you something, when i was nine months pregnant, i weighed 140 pounds. >> wow, what happened?
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all right. let me get the doctor for you. one second. >> come in and say wow, i hear you weigh a lot. >> hi there, dr. morrow. >> hi, doctor. >> wow, i hear you weigh a lot. >> yeah. i do. >> all right. you can take your mask off. we are go to check your hearing really quick. >> i hear it. yeah? that is so loud. you can hear it? >> it is really loud. >> so can i. >> i am going to do a quick reflex check. nothing happened. it is like banging on a mannequin. their tends to have people lose-
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>> you have to identify these scents. do you smell that? >> i smell it but it does not smell very good. maybe hold it. that will help. do you smell that? what is that? >> i have no idea. this is -- >> take off the mask. >> i would get this thing out of my hands. >> we have to use that for the next patient. >> yeah. i am going back to vegas. >> you live in vegas? >> i had to come in at 1:30 in the morning for this. >> are you a gambler. sorry. i have a little cold.
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let's get you on the table. we have to do a medical test measuring the force in your body. >> the force? >> the amount of force. >> we want to make sure it be with you. >> i should be dead at 49. >> you like gambling? >> sure. >> what do you like to play? >> slots. just poker machines. >> i never gamble when i go to vegas. >> i never gamble. >> what do you do? >> all hookers. >> all hookers. >> hookers? i have three daughters over there, none of them are hookers. >> the final part of our examine, we are going to do a colonoscopy. >> tell jimmy i was here. i send my regards. i love him. but the next time that i see him
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i am going to beat the living [ bleep ] out of him. that's it. that's it. >> did someone call for a colonoscopy. >> i knew it was you. you. you.. >> this man is a doctor. >> what the hell is the matter with you two. you know they should give you a lobotomy. that is what they should do with the two of you. i can't get over i am thinking my 8:30 flight was delayed until 12:45 last night. sal, you son of a bitch. what is the matter with you guys? and you, you can make a living doing something better than
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this. she will be missed. we have a good show tonight. emma corrin is with us. we have music by seventeen and we will be right back with billy crystal. ♪ ♪ yes! >> abc's "jimmy kimmel live," brought to you by toyota. ♪ run wild, run free ♪ ♪ the sky's beneath our feet ♪ ♪ run wild, run free ♪ ♪ won't hide what we were meant to be ♪ ♪ ohh oh oh ohhh ♪ go wherever your wild side takes you. toyota. let's go places.
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>> jimmy: tonight, from the series "the crown" on netflix, emma corrin is with us. then later, all the way from south korea, their mini-album is called "your choice." music from seventeen.
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tomorrow night, chris pratt and former donald trump lawyer, michael cohen will join us. one of them is under house arrest. we will have music from the isley brothers and snoop dogg. five-time emmy winner and nine times oscar host is here tonight because he is tired of being at home and his talk of returning to the role in monsters at work premiering july 7th on disney plus. please welcome billy crystal.
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>> actual people. >> jimmy: i know, right. they are human. >> you have no -- you have every idea how much this means. seriously. i, like we all have, i have been in zoom cave world. >> jimmy: you really have. you took it seriously. >> i did not come out. now i feel like a chilean people. people. >> i am glad you came. i know you were debating should i come in. >> i heard people, i said no. i wanted to see you. when you have been zooming as long as you have been zooming. when you see somebody, it is amazing how much bigger that you are in person. it is fantastic. you know, listen. we got a lot done. you have had some amazing shows.
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>> jimmy: i am just glad to have people watching them. >> and going back, i thought the emmys was fantastic. i called you right away. i have played to empty arenas. but when you do an award show like that and you made it as good as you did. >> jimmy: you are very nice to say that. i consider you to be the finest of all of the oscar hosts, and i very much appreciate it. you know, on zoom we can't really whack each other off like we are here right now. >> if i was -- the hat would have spun around. >> jimmy: let me ask you this question. of course you watched the game. that was hard. i was thinking of you while i was watching the game. >> yes.
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and then i lit a york side lamp. yeah. no. no. that was a heartbreaker. we are down 0-2, which we were the other two series. we got them right where we wanted them.p>> jimmy: it is an psychology to be a clippers fan. don't you think? i did sports here for a long time. i always made fun of the clippers. in a way i do not ever want them to win. you just need one team that never wins, so that you can reference them. >> no. no. we need a team that will win once. we have been good for ten years now. we just kept getting closer. putting it all in perspective, where i first started with the team, 27 years ago, as i put it $3.2 million. sometimes the teams were so bad, the players would leave in the third quarter to beat the traffic.
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there was one season that we won 12 games. 12 games. the nba gave us participation trophies and i thought that was good. we have a real shot. >> jimmy: who is the greatest clippers player of all-time. >> we are going to be playing against him, chris paul. that is just our luck. now, we had some really amazing players. we have also had some really incredibly strange players. choices. draft picks. >> jimmy: who do you think is the strangest? >> i am not going to be insulting. he was a really good player but his name was benjamin, a terrific center, 7'2". he had this very tiny head. very wide shoulders and looked like a bottle of perfume.
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here is how troubled his career was with us. we had a great player named marcus johnson, played for ucla. he was a milwaukee buck and ended his career with us. they are playing together. marcus grabs the rebound, turns to run upcourt and runs into benjamin's ass, broke a bone in his neck and ended his career. that is how bad he was. >> benoit. we wiwill call him benoit. somebody has been telling me it has been 30 years since city slickers came out. >> i know. >> jimmy: i mean that is nuts. >> it is crazy. actually a year, jimmy, of all kinds of anniversaries that are strange. 30 for city slickers. 20 for a movie i directed called
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"61" on hbo. they ran on the anniversary in april. it is the 20th anniversary of monsters inc. which we will talk about a little bit. the 35th anniversary of a movie that i truly love called "running scared" that i did with gregory hines. and our 54th wedding anniversary, june 4th. the 50th is the golden. 51st is the moderna. so far away. >> jimmy: i know. it is crazy. >> what you do to her. >> jimmy: do you have a relative you do things like that to? >> no. no. they are all dead.
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an elaborate prank like that and the mouth on that woman. she is amazing. she is all of my neighbors. >> jimmy: if you followed her around with a camera, that is how she is all the time with everyone. she will be delighted to hear that. you know, we wanted her to be here but she didn't pass the medical examine. she wanted to see it. she answered some of the questions wrong. >> city slickers. >> jimmy: i wanted to ask you about jack pallance. he played curly in the movie. he won the academy award for that. there he is. there you are together. he is an actor who hadn't really been around for a long time before that. >> jack was in the first movie that i ever saw "shane," a fantastic western. if you get a chance, watch it. it is an amazing western.
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he was very scary in the movie. when we started writing the script for it, we said who could be curly. i said it has to be jack pallance. he is like the last of the cowboys. he is terrifying. if we could get him it would be such a coup. i never met him before. write the script, get it to his agent and get a message that he would like to meet. ron is a director, such a charming guy. he is a do mintive guy with an overbite and bangs. you would think he is a pupp puppeteer. they have black turtlenecks. >> jimmy: like a childrens, sock puppet. >> and we meet at the bar at the bel air hotel. he is 20 minutes late. i am really nervous. the history. i mean it was like the first
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movie. jck walks in. he is dressed in a beautiful black suit with a black turtleneck and looks amazing. he is scary as hell. i feel like i am about to have a martini with dracula. that is what it feels like. he sits down and he does not speak for a minute. we don't know what to say. i said i am so thrilled to meet you. you know, we wrote this for you. he said save it. i really liked this a lot. and i think i would do very well as curly. >> jimmy: i feel like i am going
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to have drinks with an iguana in a nice suit. >> i think it is very funny. count me in. i said great. do you want to get food. no. i think i will just have a fly. >> we do the movie. it goes great. fortunately it was a very big hit and all of that. and now it comes awards time. we are nominated, both of us, golden globe awards. this is 30 [ bleep ] years ago.
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jack's award comes up first. jack wins. i am thinking he is going to get an academy award nomination for this part. the miss golden globe girl takes him and he comes back to sit next to me. i said jack you are supposed to go to the press room. he said [ bleep ] the press. i said jack, no. he said i want to be here when you win. five minutes later, and the winner is morgan freeman. jack gets up and starts walking away quickly. i said jack, where are you going. to the [ bleep ] press room, you lost. >> portions of "jimmy kimmel
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>> if you will. comedy can be dangerous, my friends, i will tell you why. when you make kids laugh and giggle they can split a gut. beware there is a chance, you can make a kid laugh so hard they can pee their pants. their body shakes, their side will ache and they will laugh until they are sore. a funny bone, danger zone, hold the phone and milk shoots out
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their nose. >> jimmy: that is the voice of billy crystal in "monsters at work." i am excited about this. it is nice to have something i can watch with my children that i enjoy as well. >> it is ten episodes. john goodman and i are back. the series takes place the day after monsters inc. movie ended. now it is the laugh floor. they are harvesting the laughs of kids because it is ten times more powerful than the scares and we have a lot of new characters. henry winkler, mindy kaling. and there are a lot of other new people. it looks amazing. >> jimmy: isn't it incredible they can make movie quality television shows now? >> it is phenomenal. you know, the disney animation people and pixar all joined together and did an amazing looking show. it starts on july 7th, i think.
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>> jimmy: my daughter is almost seven. my son is four. they love monsters inc. and this movie. it has been 20 years. there are memes with the monsters inc. character. >> my aunt sheila used to call -- he is a meme. you know, he is in a box, walks against the wind. he is a meme. i hate memes. get the car. i don't want to see a meme. you know, it keeps going and going and people, you know, when you were younger and now you can watch it with them. it is pretty cool. >> jimmy: it is a tv series now, monsters at work, premieres july 7th on disney plus. the great billy crystal
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♪ and they're always glad you came ♪ welcome back, america. it sure is good to see you.
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>> jimmy: hello there america. i want to introduce you to my friend, guillermo. we are kicking off summer with the must-have cocktail of the season. ketel one. >> with only 73 calories per
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serving perfect for summer barbecue and beach days. >> jimmy: very good reading, guillermo. they asked us to join them getting everyone summer ready. >> that is right, jimmy. wait. i don't want to get waxed. >> jimmy: talent agrees to surrender follicles. we happen to have a waxer right here. please, be very gentle with him, okay. wow! all i have to say is cheers to your smooth new body, guillermo. i know that hurts. my mother did it to me once but it was well worth it. >> wax on, baby.
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it was well worth it. >> wax on, baby. >> jimmy: wax on. like many people with moderate to severe ulcerative colitis or crohn's disease, i was there. be right back. but my symptoms were keeping me from where i needed to be. so i talked to my doctor and learned humira is the #1 prescribed biologic for people with uc or crohn's disease. and humira helps people achieve remission that can last, so you can experience few or no symptoms. humira can lower your ability to fight infections. serious and sometimes fatal infections, including tuberculosis, and cancers, including lymphoma, have happened, as have blood, liver, and nervous system problems, serious allergic reactions, and new or worsening heart failure. tell your doctor if you've been to areas where certain fungal infections are common and if you've had tb, hepatitis b, are prone to infections, or have flu-like symptoms or sores. don't start humira if you have an infection.
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>> jimmy: hi there and welcome back. music from seventeen is on the way. ten years ago our next guest stood in front of buckingham palace and now flowers thrown at her for her portrayal of princess diana in the crown. emma corrin. have you done a video chat with a studio audience before? >> no. not with a live studio audience. >> jimmy: say hello to everyone. it is a little weird. i know it is late where you you are in london. >> it is 1:00 a.m. >> jimmy: do you usually stay up this late?
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>> absolutely not. >> jimmy: your dress looks dangerous. >> thank you. 1:00 a.m. i have my slippers on as well. they go really well. i do not have much range of motion. >> jimmy: you have enough. i mentioned in your intro that you were -- well, you know the story. you were outside the royal wedding in the group, in a sea of people that were there to celebrate and see it, you must have thought about that when you got the role. >> yeah. kind of insane and also i had
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not been a massive royal family person before that. ten years ago, i remember, i was 15 with my friend kathryn. we got very, very swept up in the royal wedding fever, probably because we were bored and incredibly single. we decided to go but we also decided the night before that we would to the super market and bought the dvd they made of t love story with the really bad acting. >> jimmy: one of those made for television deals? >> yeah. we watched that. the next day we got the train. we were so excited.
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my friend kathryn had this huge inflatable daffodil. she is from wales. she had this huge inflatable daffodil. i remember watching the footage back to see if we could get a glimpse of ourselves. but we did see in the middle of the crowds this massive inflatable daffodil she was holding up and waving. >> jimmy: the daffodil went on to become very famous, i guess. when you take on a roll like this, and this was your first big role out of college, right? >> yeah. yeah. >> jimmy: you are playing somebody that everyone knows very, very well. and i would imagine your reaction is that i better every possible thing about this person. >> i wanted to bury myself under
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carpet for a long time, and then, yeah. i tried to absorb as much information like a sponge, as i could. and then, yeah. i guess to be honest the person that helped the most with this is my mom. she is a speech therapist. >> you could not pick any two words. it's like misspelling the word misspell. she was amazing. >> she analyzed diana and would give you tips or do it herself? >> she would give me tips on the
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voice. we would go through what i was given and she would help me to do the voice. >> jimmy: do people tell you things about her? things that are not commonly known? >> yeah. i do worry that this is something that will follow me the rest of my life. no matter where i go and it happens at family gatherings or when i am with friends of friends. especially older people, i guess around her time. then they all have a story. and they all like assume that i am very much interested in their diana stories. which i am. but to a certain extent. >> it depends on the story.
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they all tend to be the same. so. you know, my sister's best friend's roommate. she was like once sitting next to diana at a dinner. it is always that type of thing. two people were moved. they were sitting next to her at dinner or shook her hand passing somewhere. it is phenomenal. 90% of the people that i meet have a diana story. >> jimmy: so i shouldn't tell you the story of when i was in london and i said why is everyone gathering around. they said diana is in there. i said i am going to have ten beers, and i stumbled back and she walked out with prince charles. >> did you talk to her? >> jimmy: no. i was just in the crowd looking at her. you know, i was in high school.
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don't tell that story. i shouldn't share that story with you. >> absolutely not. i can't believe you did. that is a good one. >> jimmy: you are very nice to say that, but i can tell you are lying. emma, you are great in the show. and it is a great show. "the crown." all four seasons are on netflix. emma corrin, thank you for staying up late emma. we will be back with seventeen. >> the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz, the best or nothing.
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>> the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz>> jimmy: i wanted to thank emma corrin and billy crystal. apologies to matt damon. night line is next. but first, we have something, their album
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♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
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this is "nightline." tonight, power in her music. the queen of hip-hop and soul, mary j. blige just trying to be happy, her junior tow nine grammys fraught with depression and pain and how her admirers became her savior. >> i had to make a choice and i chose my fans and my life. >> american idol, once a teen heart throb, the crush singer now trying to reconcile his sexuality with his faith. >> i was questioning if god was real because i couldn't feel anything. and here i have done everything that i can to try to


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