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tv   Gutfeld  FOX News  November 24, 2021 8:00pm-9:00pm PST

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thank you for watching the special edition on this thanksgiving eve. i'm in for laura, make sure to check out my show exclusively on fox nation and my social media hub. thank you all to go from here, have a good night, everyone. a ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ [applause] >> have a wednesday night before thanksgiving. he is here. they're the guess that lets us borrow his prescription pad, they go. and here's tom, there is well.
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he is so white he thinks marshmallows are too spicy. here is one more southern stereotype she will beat you to death with opossum. [laughs] and then there's jimmy, voted one of best dressed men by used-car salesman magazine. while citizens grapple with inks and same crime wave, what some of the most enlightened concerns that we have? language. they believe that it's the words that must change, not the behavior. for example we've seen lots of living this week, but you know what's worse? calling it looting. >> looting assuming that we typically use one people of color, or urban dwellers are doing something. we tend not to use that term for other people when they do the exact same thing. >> color dictates a language? and who do find that force?
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do we call it something else? that's a white collar crime but takes a phd to smash a window. i've got a lot for that. and where we try to protect white looters feelings? maybe there's poor white people who need a bunch of poor expensive handbags. then once we find out they are black then it's back to looters? they still call the intentional massacre in wisconsin a deadly parade crass. as if a mickey mouse balloon crashed into a power line. that would be the best thing that disney had made in years. but at the media has a conflict of an fist. in the same state this massacre took place in. it makes it less intentional homicide and more an act of god. if that car crash for an accident, it qualifies as the longest accidental car crash in
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history. the 9/11 hijackers accidentally slammed those planes into those buildings. maybe it's an act of nature. and mother nature because as sexist. it is nature born from inequality and systemic racism. is not just words, it's also numbers. here is a fantastic tweet from the women's march. we apologize deeply for the email that was sent out today. $14.92 was our average donation amount this week. it was an oversight on our part to not make the connection to a year of colonization, conquests, for indigenous people, especially before things giving. dispersal we been saying all along, math is racist. these awoken nuts are more sensitive than my after a marathon. [laughs] they like the jokes tom, but just wait. a few more weeks in 1492 will be the gas. but imagine being so self centered that you think numbers are out to get you.
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♪ ♪ >> woke one of the company were eager to get you started. i understand that there's some trouble with your employee i.d. badge number. we have prepared a few options for you what he think of this one? >> 69 bettis. 420 elders per day i am triggered. >> i know that you will appreciate this one. >> that is my favorite number upside down. >> we know that you'd appreciate that one. welcome to team vogue. [applause] >> the women's march tweet was funny and unintentional way. when feminists are funny it's usually bad accident.
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his son unlike the wisconsin massacre or a cnn calls it a deadly parade incident like someone accidentally felt the death at the top of the tom turkey flowed. incident, that's so careful. that's the biggest definition of terrorism as some people did something. imagine if cnn was this careful with other. at the police, but here they pull back why is that? maybe that is tired of just -- it may be about race? the story won't fit. the best take of all comes from the zero, shane spiro who said quote, what if saying a title bit more jail would affix this person. we ask if you were cars, suvs, and america fewer people being killed. literally implying that people don't kill people, cars kill people. this person belongs in the's
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hall of fame. otherwise known as the view. [laughs] i guess we need car control just to bring the homicide rate down. by the way he's part of a union who wants to and cash bail. they just cling harder to their deadlier beliefs. so wasn't darrell brooks' fault, it was the gas guzzling suv's fault. they named it the escape. it's true. meanwhile colorado is changing the way that sex offenders are labeled. was the newly bugging to tell you? how many calories you burn trying to chase a fifth-grader back to our house? the sex offender manager board wants to change the term sex offender to some and less stigmatizing saying that labels based on tribes that people can control is bad. so it a second, than if to change the name of their own board, it's a sex offenders board. for sex offenders are just victims of their own uncontrollable behavior. hope they find another name for
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subway flasher just so jimmy feels better. recognize that face. in that birthmark anywhere. as one sex offender referring to me by a label for something i did have my life ago is inappropriate and downright offensive. which might be the exact words since victim usage call behavior. said that client would be a better term just great idea. and then start a sex offender's club for men. and the make a commercial where you say, i'm not just the president, i'm also client. one public defender agreed saying then takes into consideration the uniqueness of who is receiving treatment. the lesson you want to do is a child and with a bunch of other child. they're all as unique as snowflakes. they chose. i guess because cuomo was already taken. these people don't want society to survive. ruining the country as a path to make in the country. as people die they play with
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language, they play to win. an unnecessary cost of the victory is one wisconsin d.a. once admitted is your demise. or should i say unfortunate incident. you can't go home and cry to your mother, because she is now called a birthing person. [applause] >> she is the only vegan that won't ruin thanksgiving dinner. [applause] is wiped clean with a damp rag. he's only here to check out my rack, marc siegel. [applause] is white, he thought the pilgrims were too ethnic. tom shillue. >> i see that you brought your v jacket i'll be right your a game. [laughs] >> that was the worst thing ever
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said. >> were solid. speak up and trying to think of college troops in this little wardrobe battle. >> summered in end. >> and i thought had a solution i was in it take you to six flags but i realize you can get on any of the rides. [laughs] [laughs] >> back to the drawing board jimbo. this plant monologue that i wrote. what part of it would you like to address which marked the tweet from the women's march, the mutation of language, how eloquently survives the demise of society? >> here's the truth, working to get into this on a serious note. or in a really interest us right now. is it more anthony empathy for their criminal than the perp. when you see the language get rewarded. we are more concerned with hurt feelings than actual hurt people. you're debating the semantics of looting. i got comes in swinging a crowbar, break and stuff. call 911, hate eluding my store. the operator saying i once a looting. was there a natural disaster
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recently? could you just on the cop? you know i mean? that is the part that scares me because we have to inhabit this world. it most the people to and don't. when it comes the women's march bashes hilarious. they're so pandering and whoa, i'm surprised the columns of the woman at this point. >> that is sexist. >> honesty gender, i'm a little upset about that. i'm a graphic columbus is what? they are big. >> that is an edgy hot take. i know can you do better than that? >> you do look like the scariest irs agent. [laughs] >> you can have this appealing bland vanilla face, but it also is like a great white shark. like a great white shark it's like you're coming at me and you just can eat me alive. >> let's talk about this.
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you know i was looking for places where i can agree with these weirdos, and i found some common ground on the sex offender thing. i'm think they should be called sex offenders. but i think they should be called something worse. it sex offender is already i think a politically correct term. really -- i want people to be called the crimes they committed. the rate something. you're peeping tom. >> i love that term. >> if you expose yourself your flasher. when i was a kid we used these terms and they helped to make informed choices. i'm coming home from the playground, i need to cut through someone's yard. like as a. that guy is a flasher. that guy hits his kid with shovels, but it shovel got. that's the thing coming if the be more specific into the crime. i'm of the everyone is overcharged with a looting.
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third charge would property theft. so just go to the crime, or if you can do this. >> those very perceptive. >> thank you. that's why i'm here. [laughs] >> dr. siegel you don't deal with sex offenders, although i am your patient. [laughs] the idea, i don't know what that means. the terms have to be less stigmatizing, is there a purpose of that in your mind? >> humiliated from the beginning which is where identifying with the criminal and set of victim. if we start with smash and go, it's can be grab and go. what about stop and frisk? what happened so that i was already politically incorrect? the point about i do agree, were really worrying about sex offenders? i violated your humanity, i attacked you, i destroyed you physically and psychologically. right reform so you can come of that anymore.
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>> that's a big sign though. >> that's true, and by the way woman thing. you read stephen king's mr. mercedes right? it was clear in those this criminal actually proud of themselves or for that. if you drive into a crowd and kill people, is on a crash. we start circling that mass murder crashing because the person is black that we are done. we are done. >> you get the last word and make it southern. [laughs] talk about sweet tea. >> i don't have a word. i pay attention to language if someone tells me don't call me this or that word is offensive to me, i will avoid it. i am not sure that this professional thieves or stealing from these stores really care about being called looters or not. i think that's probably not in their top ten of concerns. actually looting makes itself
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spur of the moment and difficult. >> this was planned. >> a set of being a professional crook. i do mind being called redneck, back in the day that would applied offerman after cultural perspective, hickey's, and love section on my neck. fashion lizard. i wouldn't use that though, because it's offensive to lizards. and reptiles, snakes, even turtles. >> it with the bun this thing up, but i think i would really did kill another thing and i was hickey's. >> in my defense we all can't chop forever 51. >> you actually undershot my age. >> mckenna get out of the segment before i really get audited. objects could you believe shocked from a man who is vapor less. ♪ ♪
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♪ ♪ >> do you still believe that we are 81 million votes for the man who reads?" [laughs] during a speech on tuesday the king of naps learned that there's some stuff in the prompter that you're not supposed to read. like the instructions. >> you may have heard the ceo of walmart yesterday on the steps we have taken he said and i quote, the combination of private enterprise government working together has been really successful. because of the actions we've taken things began to change. end of quote. [laughs] >> abs of the best of us. at the time i thought teleprompter was trying to tell me. laugh you think she's off for
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thanksgiving. biden was spared embarrassment because he didn't seem to realize it. even he doesn't listen to himself anymore. at least biden is still in good terms with vice president harris. it's nice that he has a friend along is also unpopular. the appeared together on a d.c. soup kitchen which doing great business doing his presidency. should a real fondness for each other and he definitely didn't appear to ignore her the whole time. i kid they seem about as close to siberia and texas. maybe he was distracted by all the soup, the julius booted his doctor lets them have. finally after the 50 million barrels or strategic reserve. some of it depleted to help with nancy pelosi's face. joe says that we should rest easy. >> all of these concerns a few weeks ago there will not be ample food available for things giving. some people talk about that. understandably.
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the families can rest easy, grocery stores are well stocked with turkey and everything else you need for thanksgiving. the major retailers i mention have confirmed that their shelves will be well-stocked and stores this holiday season. >> rest easy everything is gonna be fun going to the guy was in bed by 6:00 p.m. enjoy the turkey if you get it it's only 25% more expensive this year. right joe? >> everybody's gonna take it easy okay? take it easy. take it easy. [laughs] is thanksgiving. you know whenever turkey? have some turkey senior easy chair and you just think about nothing no problems. nothing on your mind what it are
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one run president? [laughs] pumpkin pie. [applause] >> that was great. before you do these videos do try to stay safe as late as possible so exhausted? >> i had a field full meal so i was getting into character. is it a concern of mine and i do get tired. to be honest i made a mistake with the teleprompter when i was first to your guess. the right direction. i do know was direction. some else go to the video, stop talking. to the wonder that you say that? speak often of myself, i'm not a politics for 50 years and leader of the free world. >> he's been doing teleprompters. he has been practiced at this and he is getting worse. >> were not even through the first year.
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he is degrading rather quickly. what is he to be like in the next 3 years? >> he will be around since kamala harris has been a sideline she's got no shot. there really aren't gonna run her in 3 years. go for broke. she is going to get cold shoulder work in the soup line, she should stand behind him at every opportunity just make hand gestures. [laughs] our release scare the [bleep] out of people to start saying boom, boom, mushroom cloud. she's got nothing to lose. >> i think that dr. joe will be happy with that. jody doesn't like her. hate asking medical experts medical opinions, because you have an exam of the patient some edition mass. you think he's gonna make it? [laughs] >> raise your hand if you think this man needs an mri of the
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brain? raise your hand if you agree with ambassador nikki haley who thinks all over 70 are going to try to be a leader need a cognitive test? elites of the physical biden and they are saying that he can't walk anymore, stiff legged walk. that makes me wonder what's going on upstairs. the soup kitchen -- worthy of a problem thinking clearly or not. at the disgrace to give somebody else a cold shoulder and warm soup kitchen. >> they go. [laughs] >> look at him. >> by the way yours was the best. you did amazing you should win an emmy for that. >> i do know that man. [laughs] >> last words to you what he think of this mess you call the presidency? >> the whole soup pitching thing was the best. not good. [laughs] >> i would do that. >> that's we love you man. people think they hate each
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other, i don't think it's true. joe and pamela are opening a bunch of new chain restaurants called not on the border. [laughs] it's a big hit. you can read the body language, they hate each other. there's no two ways about it. the white house is gonna but it's way to distance themselves from her in the press. that doesn't happen by accident. the press does report things this white house doesn't want them to. he is alienated pamela because he telling all of his friends that he is running for president in 2012. she knows that is not good. >> we've got to move on, up next they get a double whammy. dave chappelle and louis c.k. are up forci grammys.
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♪ ♪ >> did the grammys snub the cancel culture club? a louis c.k. and dave chappelle both received grammy nominations from the academy this week. we ck for best comedy album, dave chappelle for best spoken
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word album. when louis is excited he lets people know. [laughs] long as you don't stand directly in front of him. as the news that has people how to be grossly exaggerate how many people are grossly upset about this. it's only one that comes with a trigger warning. for narcolepsy. the nominations for these comedians have many woke steers wondering if answer culture is working. of the facts don't lifetime. be a lifetime published meant is only for joy behar to husband. meanwhile after benedict cumberbatch has diagnosed half the population with toxic masculinity. you get kind of this rebellion aspect or sort of denial. >> you can get this rebellion aspect of the sort of denial, this kind of childish defensive position that not all men, which
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of the shut up and listen. need fixed behavior of men. and to understand that, lift the lid of the engine a little bit. >> that sound like something a toxic mail would say. but he sound so deep when he says it. pete davidson continues to hook up with many women who crosses his path. this is your warning. >> by 2,025 pete davidson will updated everyone in north america. no your risk stop the spread. definitely get tested. [laughs] [applause] >> part of me is saying he must have skeletons in his closet to have these virtual so much. under the question was asked asked and he sound so deeply saying it. [laughs] >> we should band every sibling
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britt from ever playing an american. he is playing a cowboy in montana in the 1920s. that is where his point of reference stops back in the 1920s. i'm sick and davidson saying i could do so much worse. [laughs] and i have. the only male make them worse is if he was more here. >> yes. >> it's like your clothes are covered in fur. >> couldn't get the big guys and with her hair he would become a lemur. >> i finally missed to be very alluring. again it's all your business. [laughs] jimmy i think that pete davidson secret is that women date him to get back at their axes. so the esco's him. and then there's an endless supply of axes. all this to do is find out who just broke up with who and is
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always there. >> in hollywood circles nothing like getting back your ex the make and all the headlines. he is a headline right now. for the is a note through comedy that he's pretty well endowed. he has a day job as a speed bump. so one of those guys. >> you mean he gives a lot to charity? >> he's a great break up relationship because you will make headlines. the louis story, a maxi personally happy form because i do believe in redemption. i don't know if he is catholic but his soul solve palm sunday. >> i just think to the whole point of this amended benedict cumberbatch. i people like him so much because they are pandering phonies that are buying into this narrative that we don't need tough men. if we didn't have toxic masculinity in world war ii he'd be speaking german and so would we. could you imagine the benedict cumberbatch boat.
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second in our leadership ranks we don't have a lot of nonbinary people in leadership right now than two seconds. now it's over. >> thomas masculinity dead? >> 2014. i want to give him an out. it cumberbatch is a great actor. he's always excellent. he's been working for the past ten years solid so he's like a guy you know those movies where the guys in a time capsule a comes out is like comic hijinks. he doesn't know anything. he's been doing movies for like ten years. snow is just waking up to the 2014 news that toxic masculinity is a thing. he knows that he is to say that to get to the interview, that is an amazing point. >> because you're right. he's been working he doesn't have time and the last thing he read was that a doctor's office in 2014 and just a issue of cosmopolitan mrs. alder asked me about this.
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>> doesn't want to put himself is canceled because that how things evolve. because of the last 1,014 we were like coming of these crazy saying men can get pregnant. it's changed quite a bit. >> is any truth to what he saying? >> i should learn something from this exhibit married 25 years and when he mentions to sit down and shut up i be doing efforts on a five years. so think what a minute maybe i'm allowed to actually speak. >> coming up, the star of days given confused leave voters amazed and amused. ♪ ♪
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♪ ♪ >> will they be interested in matthew mcconaughey? [laughs] a new poll finds that the golden god as a method mcconnaughhay as
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a good chance of becoming a texas governor. the post oven or in part of the university of texas where matthew is a minister of culture. current governor greg abbott, those numbers could change. 22% surveyed say that someone else just code for i'm really high right now me alone. mcconnaughhay even does you a better versus beto a man best known for losing elections. at least the french army knows when to quit. he leads the hypothetical matchup. if you can't beat him an election you're probably already dead. and in the three-way, my favorite kind. [laughs] matthew would split in the governor would win. he told "the new york times" that he still deciding whether or not to run, but if he does his campaign slogan will be on his most famous movie line, i'm
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not. >> i like that. i hate doing these stories for celebrities may run may not run. we've done a lot of matthew mcconaughey. >> he still promoted the book. pumping the book. i don't think that he will get anywhere. they look at him he just looks, damp and i'm thinking every time i see a picture i wonder what he smells like. mildew, fertilizer -- >> hair so very damp. >> looks a little fun does he smell like that? >> that's really good point, i listen to his audiobook which was very entertaining. he's a smart guy and i agree with a lot of what he says. should he run? >> is a shot i'll tell you why.
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i think he's done a pretty good job of the pandemic, he's become the border companies in a jobs. he's been on police he wants to defund them. but the thing is you don't know what even stands for. he stands for a smile, he has a shot because people don't even know his democrat or republican. he's a shot. >> and it's also he also said [laughs] politics is downstream from culture. the population is your name, be a trump, or mcconnaughhay you enter the race kind of close to on top. would drive me crazy is that whenever we do mcconnaughhay story i still can't spell his last name and thus can be a problem. there's like 80 ways to spell his last name. >> does a lot of vowels in there right? but he's a smart guy. i think is very attractive as a candidate. >> i like that. >> your secret is safe with me.
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>> he would be a centrist. he's not okay to offend hollywood. on people in the right things that he's with them. he's not afraid to go against him if he doesn't agree with them. the kind a centrist i win. beto, i don't know what he's doing. he hasn't realized that likes him yet. the other reason he's doing well versus abbott, abbott is like -- for one of the left hates him. half the republicans don't trust him because he wasn't good on cove a doctor. he was a wimp in the first year. noah wakes up every day and he just looks and says come i'll have what he's having. he just copies. he was wishy-washy. >> that was not fair. >> the neanderthals are a lot brighter than what they think they are. >> a lot hotter than pete davidson too.
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>> there very hairy. the call take it. >> jimmy, i want to talk to you about mcconnaughhay up and about beto because there's a thing about beto that he is so absolutely unlikable and that resistance to work for a living. he just expects to be elected for a living. >> beto is what happens when parents give their kids complement they don't deserve. human amine? in the media has played a role in shaping that. through other elections. where i called him the mumford and son of politics. everyone says it's cool to listen to them let's muster listen to it. they put on mumford & sons and you say what is this [bleep] with the ukulele? the whole mcconnaughhay thing he has no chance. alex plan why. the perception of hollywood actors is that you're all liberal. this whole survey taken of the university of austin university of texas in austin. which is so liberal they want to defund the cop in the village people.
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[laughs] they're out of their mind. but seriously are my favorite radio stations in texas, hegel. nobody associated with democrats. as ever winning texas afterward biting did to the board. it is the 80 bc de issue in texas right now. trying to sell texans a democrat after biden's eye trying to sell a beach business after jaws. comedies always better with the fact-checker. he has no shot. >> what's your feeling about -- >> i wouldn't bang him. [laughs] >> that's a first. [applause] >> what about davidson? >> i can explain the appeal of
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davidson. makes people laugh. gentlemen if you ever want to get into a girl's girls or bridges you him laugh. >> was written on a needlepoint pillow that my grandmother had. as a work so far. i guess were to take a break. up next the latest covid fable e quickly at the kids table. [applause]
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♪ ♪ >> children should be seen not heard. also cram down your thanksgiving bird. "the new york times." has some ought on how to mitigate covid risk this thanksgiving. when asked about holiday gatherings with kids the only receive one vaccine dose, dr. lindsey mar who studies airborne transmissions wrote. some attendees are 65 and older, and thus at greater risk of serious breakthrough infections. you could have the kids wear masks e quickly and then stay away from the older adult when eating. remember to spray the pumpkin pie with lysol before you cram it down the throat. i'm joking. but make sure that people know i'm kidding. of course pete eating that actually includes bones in your food could also resort and a lot
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of kids choking this thanksgiving. which frankly i am fine with. [laughs] a monster would say. telling the kids you aren't vaccinated e quickly, you better hope that uncle pete knows the heimlich maneuver. even heimlich maneuver mean something different. >> so i found out i was adopted. my god he's joking why do? don't worry i've got this. [laughs] >> nicely done. i think you give us better advice than that what you think of that e quickly part? >> until you have learned a lot a public health on the show today. i'm not allowed to tell a sex offender a sex offender anymore. and kids can choke to death. i'm a talk medically for second.
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huge you to risk, not to mention get some and cutting her throat. unrealistic a 5-year-old have a ran down the throat and have induced vomiting in the bathroom. it's incredible shocking that this would appear even in "the new york times." shocking. you want to get rapid test fine. they took a shot by the way. they say kids that took one shot, now you're punishing them saying watch out. all of this paranoia and fear causes more damage to our health than anything else. >> you been at the start, so vocal about it but i remember as a child only a decade ago that i didn't want to sit at the table very long. kids want to eat go back to the room and watch bewitched. [laughs] all but an age myself. >> the things giving so i went
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to was a kid they did separate us at our own table. >> get the kiddie table. >> they did this because back then kids admitted that it's no fun to have around it all. >> you can have a drum conversation with someone drinking milk. [laughs] >> and we did it fast, and him and went out with played football the backyard we had a great time. yes, the stupid device. the person answering it as mentally ill come of this lot of mentally ill people out there because people have gone nutso but this advice is stupid as it is is in any stupider in the stupid device telling us since day one. everything public health officials have told us is wrong. there bunch of idiots, some of the stupidest people ever. >> lockdowns, lockdowns. >> i most want to have a child and it's an only child so i can force him, or her to sit alone at the kitty table. [laughs]
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i know why it just seems like this fun thing to do on thanksgiving by themselves. i wife on over here get over there on the side table. >> it's about time we got another unit bomber. [laughs] >> we have one of those going around everyone is alert. that. >> i grabbed one of those houses were on thanksgiving is not being able to play pay the bookie. the detroit lions lose. i am so mad at them shaming and scaring and terrorizing kids, especially kids that are vaccinated. because i went through a lot of hopes to get my kid a vaccination card on craigslist. i did not bargain for this. basically what this is become as adults are dealing kids into their adversity. the whole thing about being a kid especially around thanksgiving as you do get drunk relative. kid you lucky this the best time of her life. you know if the deal with all of this adult. but now they do because people are just dumping on them.
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through the legibly good. it were turning him -- opening adult restaurant children. >> in the name of protecting them we stop sheltering them entirely. it is so bizarre. >> what you think? good, bad advice? >> was never enough food left for the kids. >> really? >> yes. it is on the garbage can. speak audibly that at all. >> back in the day [laughs] >> were you raised by raccoons? >> possums, possums eat headaches. lovely animals. it's better for you to make kids eat that it is not christmas because it will hurl in the packages. >> that is true, that is true. >> there's one idea that i read some article on having a bouncer. to test people for covid. i will volunteered to be the bouncer at your party because i will make sure that nobody steals the good drugs out of
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your medicine cabinet. [laughs] >> don't go away will be right back. [applause] and tears in the stomach or intestines, and changes in lab results. your doctor should monitor your bloodwork.
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's before we are out of time. thanks to dagen mcdowell, marc siegel, and our lovely studio audience. and that evil kevin corke is next. i'm greg gutfeld and i love you, america. ♪ ♪ >> kevin: hello and welcome to "fox news @ night." i'm kevin corke in washington in her shannon bream. ♪ ♪ breaking tonight, the police are on the scene out of nordstrom in northern los angeles where it appears another smash and grab robbery has just taken place. paramedics are actually on the scene at this hour after pepper spray was set

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