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tv   Gutfeld  FOX News  November 15, 2021 8:00pm-9:00pm PST

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argument. >> let's assume for a minute joseph rosenbaum is chasing after the senate because he wants to do some physical harm to him. he's an unarmed man. this is a bar fight, a fist fight. what you don't do is you don't bring a gun to a fistfight. >> roadhouse deserves a lot better. greg gutfeld takes it all from here. [cheers and applause] >> greg: happy and super-duper monday, everybody. thanks to the supply chain crisis, there's been a shortage of everything but idiots. for some reason, the chain that supplies lying is flowing more
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smoothly then the flatulence out of bidens butt. i should stop making those job jokes, but i want. struggles are regular americans face largely because those in the media make a lot of money and they are stupid. for some reason, those things go together like dating apps. also, regular americans get fired for waving their in the workplace, at least that's how i got fired from burger king burger king. but it's that combination of stupidity that ends up in laughable analysis that would give a ralph episode a run for its money. stephanie rolle keeps trotting out the same old lies to defend joe biden. tell us the dirty little secrets. >> the dirty little secret here, while no one likes to pay more, on average, we have the money to do so. household savings hit a record high over the pandemic. didn't really have anywhere to
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go out and spend. >> greg: she called me willie. that's not so much as secret as it is something a person with a major head injury would say. the secret would be how any of you keep your jobs. she were any more of a dumbbell, chris cuomo would be curling her. they are still saying that inflation is in bad because the government printed all this money and gave it to you to spend which of course drives the prices as money becomes cheaper once you print more of it. knows the economy as well as i know the layout of the big and tall men store with their logic. why doesn't the government just print a trillion dollar bill for everyone? we are all rich, baby. you couldn't come up with anything dumber. oh, wait, what is stephanie cross going to say about truck drivers? >> this is an industry populated by a lot of white men over the age of 55. this group of people overwhelmingly voted for trump, some people i talked about aggressive truck drivers cutting them off for not being helpful
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so obviously, the more populated it is with people of color, you will see less of that. >> greg: excellent work, tiffany. take the supply chain crisis and turn it into a mush of racism, sexism, trauma, and rude driving. in the case of our nations truckers, a bottle. >> it's okay if they don't get it. that was a good joke. >> it was great. >> greg: thank you. underlying all of the criticism is a not-so-subtle mockery of everyday concerns. take captain neck fat over at cnn. that's funny, make fun of him. he is taking a much-needed break after devouring a gingerbread house made of pork. he tweeted this picture of a supermarket file filled with milk and he wrote the supply chain looking for milk for a 2-year-old. look at this amazing overflowing
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abundance. meanwhile, until most is produced locally and is not imported but things we can get all of our 2% low fat dairy from only the finest regions in france. you may have also said let them eat cake that's what his answer is to everything. i'm surprised he didn't include a picture of a woman breastfeeding and right see, no supply-chain delay there. but brian hosts a dying show which is as real as a stripper. the damage it did to so many institutions including and especially the media. it's not like the media gets anything right, am i right? >> tonight on the just news network.
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>> we are in new york city and if you don't like it, too bad. here's a happy citizen right now. what happened? so you're enjoying the relief of any stress from that back pulling you. >> my wallet and car keys were in there. >> are looking forward to reducing your carbon footprint. >> i can't eat today now. >> more popular than ever, back to you. >> greg: excellent acting. so as they continue to push lies like a farmer pushes a wheelbarrow full of manure, they call on their own industry to stop treating republicans as normal. >> i think you also have to have some new ground rules for the media. i think they have to stop treating republicans like normal politicians. they are not normal politicians. this is a party that spends the
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entire time looking up these ridiculous cultural memes, fanning violence and coming up with outright lies. >> greg: is that woody allen in a week? apologies to mr. allen. jennifer rubin now calling out anyone as abnormal as like andrew cuomo telling the tsa agent to keep your hands to yourself. of course, ruben is a sellout they quote whenever they want to bash conservatives, the kind of republican who makes mitt romney look like abraham lincoln. considering changing to something less embarrassing but it's not surprising, the media's brazen defense of joe's downfall is as irrational as the attacks on trump, but in reverse. perhaps they know what a mistake they made trading peace and prosperity in exchange for fewer mean tweets. was it worth less food on the table? was it worth shortages and $4
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gas? was it worth giving a china such a boost that our allies are taking mandarin lessons? now they got what they wanted and all its misery and they pretend that you deserve it good luck with that. welcome tonight. so sharp it sets off the metal detector, political commentator douglas murray. got more guns than the taliban, editor in fox news contributor katie pavlich. you'll find her at your most exclusive venues rifling through purses and the coat room, kat timpf. and he can never pick on someone his own size, it's impossible, tyrus.
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there you go. welcome back, good to see you. how's it going in the united states? haven't been mugged yet. >> i've got no muggings stories. >> greg: i would hope you would at least once and we could talk about it. so the underlying premise of all these examples seems to be that the public is stupid in the media is much smarter. in my theories is because they were is no such thing as a blue-collar reporter anymore, you know what he means? >> brian stelter things him going to the supermarket's investigative journalism, that's the problem. finding out what's happening in america. >> greg: exactly, and that's its excuse to keep going to the delicatessen every day. >> everyone got your fat neck on that, by the way. that joke needed a little explanation. but no one needed to do that.
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>> greg: the thing is i am so close to the road, i know what people are doing. >> you're close to the road, what does that mean? >> comes from a long line of generational truck drivers. >> exactly. >> trailblazer. >> greg: exactly. so to build on this theory, should there be journalism schools that come right out of high school so you don't get these arrogant elitist who think that they're smarter than everybody? >> for greg, sweet boy. you are trying to make sense out of something that is on sensible. they are not researching this. i did without first reporter did on our show, may i your papers for second? when you asked me a question, there were some truckers and they are mostly white and
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racism, at the end of the show, he would be like you were gone. how do you go on tv on prepared? they don't have to be prepared. there was a chart that showed right now i'm working on math with my kids mother was a chart that averaged 127% and they tried to say how many different -- there's only 100% of people that work at a job. this much we know but apparently to make their numbers look right for 55-year-old white guys, they had to add 27%. it climbed like a weight, 16 plus 79 plus 22 -- my daughter was right? when you use your point, you are not informed so you cannot argue with it, ignorance, can't argue with it. >> greg: wonder where it started. the whole era were no one said
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um. >> i'm not going to say it. >> greg: there's a disconnect between the media and most of america. i'm trying to figure out if it's possible at all to somehow and that, or is that just -- this industry is done. they can't understand truckers on if they can't understand supply chain and they think that inflation is a good thing, they don't understand what everybody is going through, they are so far removed. >> there is hope because i did understand your pee bottle joke. most are based in new york or d.c. and are not from outside where they've been there for so long they never travel outside of the newsrooms or whatever but they are completely disconnected from the real world or they get into an elite category where they just don't care about the real world so for someone like tiffany or stephanie ruler brian stelter, how do you think that your food gets to new york city? do you really want to start going down the road of eye care what the color of my truck
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driver is and i'm only going to expect food in new york city from whoever? no white guys allowed? come on. you want to go down that road, it would be very bad for you and democrats should stop acting like they are the political aisle that is for the poor because even gas prices increasing by a dollar puts tens of thousands of americans back below the poverty line. energy goes up by a couple dollars, how do you get your food to your city? on a truck. everything else goes up in price and they don't understand it's a domino effect so we need more people -- dominoes effect. >> greg: i want my truck driver to be nonbinary or i don't want anything delivered. when amazon shows up, if he is his normative, i throw the package in his face. >> even if you're starving. >> greg: i will kick him in whatever private party he designates.
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because frankly i don't care. i don't see. i don't. jennifer rubin believes that we should no longer treat republicans as normal. this is interesting because it's jennifer rubin saying that. >> i don't know how people are treating her as normal because all of her takes are like that. it's not like she has had a take even remotely recently that has been reasonable. but if you look at him, what you mean supply chain? he thought he had something there. how come the store i'm in has milk in it. i just want to let you know that when you watch that video and you said good acting, you were right.
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>> greg: will abide in agenda fall apart before joe left out his final fart? i'm sorry. i did a poll on fart jokes yesterday in birmingham and they are very pro fart jokes. that is the survey i'm doing. the second to the chief commander in the country can't stand her. a new abc news "washington post" found that of the midterms
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were -- that's half of one percentage. would vote for a republican in their district. compare that to 41% for democrats, that's the biggest g.o.p. lead since 1981 when nancy pelosi was just 100 years old for the last thing kamala harris wants to hear besides you busy right now? donates a foot rub. she's got a 28% approval rating, nothing to laugh out, she would laugh at an orphan fighting for a kitten over a scrap of cheese which is funny and now according to cnn, isn't feeling the love from the white house rated some insiders even saying the dysfunctional relationship has reached an exhausted stalemate. she is the stalemate. and biden's defense, didn't want to pick kamala harris up and forced her because she has both female and a minority meanwhile biden one in his running mate to be a life alert bracelet.
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in white house watchers say this is by design to protect joe just like the plastic liner. mr. president, what say you? >> don't you say anything, all right? me and kamala harris i like ike and tina turner, all right? we are close. like johnny depp and amber heard, all right? together forever. like chris brown and rihanna, all right? it's a partnership like zuckerberg and the twins. we never be able to fax each other. >> greg: you know something weird is going on, two things.
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cnn is the one who breaks the story which means it probably came from the white house and you have these damage control tweeting like we don't hate her. >> i don't know if the tweeting is damage control, i think it's pouring gasoline on the fire because if you wanted to go away, he wouldn't be tweeting about it, he would just ignore it or change the subject and instead dealing about everything she's failed on highlighting that. don't defend the white house very often but is not like they haven't given her a chance to do a better job, she hasn't controlled the weird laughing thing, she's failed at everything, she used to be at all the big events like a vulture in the background and now she's not anymore and when you read why the rep upset, they say president biden is praising pete buttigieg more and he's a white male. so if you see everything through the prism of i am entitled to attention and praise based on my
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gender rather than success on the assignments i've been given, then you're going to be upset and i think that's why they're complaining. >> greg: reminds me of there's always a person who works the hardest trying to get out of work when it would be less work for them if they just did the work, you know what i'm saying? not talking about you. >> no, of course not. he's not actually. coming to work and do drugs all day. and then i get my hair and makeup done and do more drugs and i sit here. she was complaining that she didn't like any of the assignments she was getting, i can imagine i don't like those ones so that's true, why don't you come up with some of your own, got to be allowed to have ideas. i think ideas are not just welcome but necessary because i don't think joe is a big idea
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guy. i don't think a lot of it's coming from him. >> greg: you need a brain for an idea. what do you think? >> i think if it's not cat, it's probably me. so i just show up and talk, that's fine. she has a plan. she didn't come here to be vp. it's like you are undermining shakespeare and mcbeth play, undermining. it's not me, it's the president and then you hire the jen psaki team to fix your image and then you have employees who love their jobs, interns liked weed out how much you love working with her. i love working with the vp every day. i wouldn't be that about my own kids. i don't like them every day. there are days where mike i should have been a trucker. but that's what they're doing.
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the more this administration implodes in her mind surrounded by her yes people and family which was a huge issue the last administration but no one talks about, they are all let's watch the fire burned because we will get to be president sooner than later so she's not going to help. every job you give her, she's going to mess it up and say it was a dumb job anyway because she wants his job and she knows it. >> greg: what do you make of this? this is what happens not just for the wrong reasons but with absolutely no scrutiny. you think back at it, is not that just we've never seen her speaking at rallies because we didn't have any, even the very few times they allowed a journalist to question her it was just astonishing, he had a flashback this week i'm a member when cnn interviewed her and her husband just before the election and the real crack interview squad question was they asked
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her husband about her taste in shoes. somebody auditioning for the second most important role in the world possibly become the most important person in the world and you've got it a few minutes with her, incredibly rare, and you talk about her shoes. this is what happens. >> greg: she ticked all the boxes. >> she laughed hysterically and manically talking about her shoes and said what could go wrong? >> greg: we elected the joker. >> i asked her about her shoes tonight. >> greg: they are pretty amazing she was. >> i made the mistake of wearing more than once. >> greg: i never do that. you know what? i am so wealthy, i throw them out immediately. i don't even give them to charity, screw those people. let them work for the shoes, going to throw these away tonight, nothing because you were miles away.
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i mean your tv. what am i doing? losing my mind. up next, bernie wants to tax the rich. ...and lots of opportunit. >> so, what are you waiting for? >> apply now... >> ...and make a difference. >> singers: ♪ safelite repair, safelite replace. ♪ >> man, i love that song! discomfort back there? instead of using aloe, or baby wipes, or powders, try the cooling, soothing relief or preparation h. because your derriere deserves expert care. preparation h. get comfortable with it.
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try align today. and try new align fast acting biotic gummies. helps soothe occasional digestive upsets in as little as 7 days. >> greg: it was elon musk versus a dried up old husk. he has, the billionaire takes time off from space to get an bernie sanders face. it was a ceo who sends rockets through the year versus a senator who is older than dirt. tesla ceo took to twitter over the weekend responding to the demand that rich people pay more in taxes and by rich, means people that own more than three houses. gentle rumble of laughter. bernie tweeted "we must demand the extremely wealthy pay their fair share of period." only took him three hours to write that tweet with those mittens on. the world's richest man
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responded "i keep forgetting that you're still alive. it he gets a bigger laugh than i do. want to sell more stock, just say the word. he roughly sold $7 billion worth of tesla stock after conducting a twitter poll asking his followers if you should which is exactly how you should make investment decisions, only if you're a billionaire but it got us wondering what does bernie sanders think about this? >> this is not anything radical because we have these laws. >> you end up waking up and she still says no. you missed no homework, but your teacher reaches class like you're some kind of jerk. >> charging extortion level. >> you've got to fight for your right to party. i shouldn't have had those buffalo wings last night. >> should not be using people's misfortune.
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it >> now i'm feeling the burn. i've got to get out of here. >> greg: it's kind of sad that of the two men that are feuding, one of them almost became president and it's not the billionaire. >> no comments the multimillionaire. we need to tax the rich. that has nothing to do with -- he is the unicorn anyway because he's a rich socialist which means he's fighting himself, but whatever in going after elon musk because he's convinced that's what the people want to hear because even if you tax him, and is not going to make christmas any better, not going to fix schools or what's going on in our streets let's go after him and then he comes back with -- in his defense if he had just 1 billion, maybe he wouldn't be so cocky but when you have 265 billion, what is
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65 billion among friends, you know what i'm saying? >> you said we should tax the rich and he said that's me! i am rich! the richest man in the world and still feels he can go on twitter and call some vermont's with senator mike your old! >> greg: i love that. >> i love the fact that it's occasionally. one of the few very famous people who clearly does have control of his own twitter account and send these things out sometimes, no one else would do that but he has. >> greg: no one is going to cancel him. although i still don't respect him after what he did to grimes. b mike you did call it that they would have a kid. >> this is what happens in the meetings they never show up for. >> greg: the one thing that drives me a little bit crazy is
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we have given up any kind of opportunity to counter somebody who talks about fair share. somebody says you need to pay your fair share, they can say that no matter what the percentage you pay so 1% of the american population is paying 40% of the taxes, that's still not enough because is never enough. >> bernie sanders owns three more homes than elon musk. this is a weird thing the left does. they say they want to achieve a goal so a green new deal which bernie sanders supports which means we need a lot of electric vehicles. elon musk happens to know how to produce electric vehicles and yet they are constantly trying to destroy him so at the same time demanding the private sector get on board with this big government program trying to make sure he has less money to build the electric carts that he needs so that doesn't make sense, but i do love that he is like you know what, forgot that you exist and threatens to sell
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more stock to make it harder for bernie sanders to do that. >> why is it that you see every time she talks speaks like it's to a child it's never heard english. now, let me tell you. >> greg: that's coming from you so whenever you talk it's like bathing in warm milk. >> i don't know why you put me on with the guy with a nice accent, but it's really rude. >> greg: that's the best, didn't even notice that. >> to answer your question, she speaking to herself. >> that's how the video told her to speak. you watch aoc when she's in public, she learned that if you jump and point while you talk. because they went to the same class. they won't listen to the dumb [bleep] coming out your mouth.
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>> greg: there you go. all right, coming up, the kids don't think he's funny and they don't want his money. this is the sound of nature breathing.
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the brand i trust is qunol. >> greg: if dave chappelle talks, they say he will walk. i don't really know how to say that. has been postponed after students complained about the transgender remarks he made in his latest netflix special. a big complaint set up a group of people who couldn't raise enough funds. apparently students at the duke ellington school of the arts got into a heated debate with faculty after being told they would have to help with an exhibition to honor him on the day of the event. some even said they would walk out if it went forward. he was hoping the door hits them on the way out although they are so fragile, that might kill them. the event was supposed to raise money for a new theater but has
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now been moved to april and in a move that surprises no one, the school will hold listing sessions with the students and expand their curriculum to include content related political activism among others. the school also said it recognizes not everyone will agree but added it rejects the idea that cancel culture is healthy or constructive. they then went through the faculty and fired everyone who ever smiled at a republican. to katie's point about him making cars that are going to hurt his business, they could've gotten a lot of money. >> now they have to wait longer. i don't understand it and of course don't understand that either because it's going to give these kids an impression people are a lot more interested in listening that they really are. no one wants to listen to that. >> greg: also the idea of
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teaching classes on political activism and cause him seems redundant. like that's being taken care of in the quad with some guy at a hockey sac. >> that is covered. strange things, he's become a controversial figure. this whole thing started off with the claim that is just far right conservatives and the gunfights. they ended up taking out people, i really admire him because he stood his ground and he kept going but it's always just a distraction, they spend their time talking about dave chappelle in america sadly bill has the worst literacy rates among developed nations and that will be something really worth addressing, something if you address you could help american kids have a better chance in life but every
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time whining students talking about dave chappelle doesn't help anyone. >> greg: it goes back to the point that sooner or later, they were running out of conservatives to cancel. so what is after? its great, it's another example of somebody who -- more people should be like him in the sense that he has the ability to give them the finger, right? this is the new model of the future i think if you get your on the to support you. >> i think they should do a counter protest to the protesters protesting to stand up for what he believes in but you're right, if you get to a certain level coming of the ability to say okay, if you don't want my money for your theater and that's your problem, not mine but at the same time, all the students who are protesting are never going to be as successful as he has because i can't even handle someone coming to a fund-raiser to give the money and who does it hurt?
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it hurts the kids who actually want to be there whose parents aren't paying hundreds of thousands of dollars from the be there who want to make it in the arts and want to be interesting and do something with their lives and ultimately, goes to show this is why entertainment has become so boring, no one is allowed to be offended by everything and that's why everything is so boring and dull as a result of this kind of protesting. >> it's weird they can postpone it. you are brutally offensive. >> greg: you know why they said that? counting on the students short attention span and their ever shifting inclinations and outrage that it may just not exist in five months and then they will slip dave chappelle theater back in so to speak. >> we are so brittle, my gosh. like glass.
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when i was in high school, we had a police shooting that happened and we were upset and decided we were going to walk out on the school, protesting. i remember the principle saying it's going to be on marked absence by all means, gentlemen, if you want to protest, go ahead and protest. and we did. we walked out in the quad stood there for about 45 minutes and did our protest in school and on and we felt empowered or whatever but school went on. the message was although i felt a certain way, the rest of the students didn't and they were entitled to continue with their education for the day. now we've gotten to the point where it's a small number of students that are doing this but it's a faculty member that is pushing it. then the principal comes in and says we are going to postpone it because there wasn't enough. he would've said you have every
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right, the quad of them will give you the stage to give out your grievances and then we will go forward with whatever from everyone would've gotten their moment but we don't want acceptance. we want advantage. he can't be here because i don't like him. that's my freedom but your freedom should not impinge on other people's freedom. they would seem to forget about that and this is the perfect example of brittleness and we were protesting is something we were fiercely upset about in the school said by all means, but the world goes on and we are losing that message horribly now. >> greg: very eloquent, the administrators are just rolling over. okay, you're right. >> at the high school, not a college. it's a high school. >> greg: i thought it was a college. i should read the research.
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>> difference. >> it is really where they keep coming for comedians. comedians have a special protective place which is they say stuff that other people can't, laugh about issues that are difficult, if you know you end up saying things that nobody else would say but that's an incredibly important role in a society and if you take away comedy is a valve to release pressure, what do you have left? >> greg: that's a reference to the bottle. >> it wasn't. >> greg: up next, this christmas, don't get excited. you aren't vaccinated, you are invited.
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>> greg: the cranberry sauce is canned and the unvaccinated our band. it's the most wonderful time of year to keep families apart from fear. they want you to sit home and abroad. looks like the holiday fruitcakes are rejecting you this year. three and five americans say they are banning unvaccinated relatives according to a new survey. nothing says christmas spirit quite like interrogating your loved ones about their medical history to decide if they're qualified to come over and eat ham with you. so screw who's been naughty or nice, we need to know did you
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get vaccinated twice? regardless of status, 53% said the politicizing of the shot has is divided their families and 56% expect to argue about it at the table that's it you can hear each other through your masks and face shields. honestly, i'd rather debate who has the most. i won. all right, is this just an excuse to not invite the uncle who always clogs the toilet? >> how did you do that again? how did you do that? you just look at every story and say how can i fit a toilet joke. >> greg: that's the recipe. >> if you don't have one, you feel like your work is not done >> kayleigh: is that why? >> greg: exactly. >> i don't know, greg. about this uncle, but i think it
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probably is an excuse. i think of you are not invited because you're not vaccinated coming of some other issues in your family. >> greg: this is like a trojan horse like you can do is invite yourself or does invite others. >> i had some friends who were planning marriage and you're in a great position here because you don't have to invite all the family you don't like, you don't have to invite all the crazy ants, you can just keep it close. i think americans across the country will use this excuse as well. >> greg: i think it's wise. why is it the ants who are crazy in the uncle who clogs the toilet? let me help you, have a plunger. the crazy and always has a plunger wherever she goes. >> is like he is a mad magician of craft.
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i don't even know. >> greg: i'm like a monkey that flings feces. >> i think his dream chair would be a toilet. i love this, i think this is great because usually i would just say i can't come, i have warrants. now not vaccinated. you run up excuses, i'm not housebroken or i have tourette's, now it's i'm not vaccinated and i have a red hat, is that cool? i get to stay at home and watch the game. it's phenomenal, do not look a gift horse in the mouth mothers is a good way to get away from the in-laws. >> greg: there you go. what do you think? they know. >> i know a lot of vaccinated folks who are saying to their families i am unvaccinated so they don't have to go. i saw the lines at the airport, i'm not wearing a mask the whole
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way there, i'm out. >> greg: before i forget, i was flying on delta. i used to like delta. i couldn't believe this. it just moved a little bit here and so this woman comes over to me and says you need to put your masks above your nose and 2 minutes passed, says what would you like to drink and i said i'll take light and she said leave your mask on and she looked at me, you can hear me, right? and i said yes. she said that's her second morning. we are in the air. >> that's not delta because i love delta. i fly with them every week. i am in a relationship with 90% of the team. >> greg: i love delta. >> happen to work for sweet beautiful delta. and i'm sure the wonderful people at delta after hearing this will have a full investigation. that person will be sent back to
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spirit. [laughter] >> greg: don't go away, we will be right back. ♪ ♪ the experts at safelite autoglass came right to me... with service i could trust. right, girl? >> singers: ♪ safelite repair, safelite replace. ♪ nurse mariyam sabo knows a moment this pure... ...demands a lotion this pure. new gold bond pure moisture lotion. 24-hour hydration. no parabens, dyes, or fragrances. gold bond. champion your skin. up to one million dollars. that's how much university of phoenix is committing to create 400 scholarships this month alone.
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schedule we are out of time. thanks! "fox news @ night" with evil shannon bream is next. i love you, america. ♪ ♪ 's the one who along to "fox news @ night." i am shannon bream in washington. breaking tonight, hundreds of wisconsin national guard personnel on standby as the country awaits the verdict in the trial of kyle rittenhouse. closing arguments presented on monday. the legal panel dives in. president biden signs of bipartisan inversion for


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