tv Gutfeld FOX News October 27, 2021 8:00pm-9:00pm PDT
>> laura: et al. years ago, while celebrating mardi gras, the increment angle inadvertently predicted the future. >> you must wear a mask. it's actually against the law not to wear a mask. put them on, here we go. >> laura: now we know where dr. fauci got the idea for the mandate. thanks, raymond. greg gutfeld takes it all from here. ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ >> it's a glorious wednesday, or as cat calls it, two days from vodka. i kid, she's never gone two days without vodka. before we get to the news however, it's time for -- musical physical >> announcer: greg seven jokes.
>> greg: resident biden has canceled trick-or-treating at the white house for halloween. when asked why, joe responded, children wearing costumes and going house to house for candy travel trivializes the very thing we are salivating. at the birth of. [laughter] comedian kathy griffin posted a video of her shaking her from a balcony in los angeles. authorities reported that the first time they've seen migrants turnaround of the border and head home. we don't need a wall. california governor gavin newsom has mandated coded vaccines for all state employees, but less than two-thirds have complied to. can't fault them in san francisco. for some reason there's a shortage of needles. [laughter] sportscaster joe bucket claims he once in a bottle while calling an nfl touchdown. big deal. i once in a bottle on "the five" or doing on animals are great segment. then i told kill meat it was
gatorade. he didn't mind at all. a minnesota surgeon was fired for telling a school board to let parents make decisions about mexican kids that come up which makes total sense. i mean, what does a surgeon know about masks? [laughter] >> a sexist would say. >> greg: a sexist would say. that didn't even get a laugh, tyrus. what's with this crowd? some new york schools are banning any costumes based on a "squid game" which depicts mass murder. and stores are pulling all the witches costumes because the hosts on it "the video" considerate cultural appropriation. [applause] note to self. make all jokes about "the view." a hike or loss for 24 hours ignored calls from rescuers because it came from an unknown number. even worse, he was in a bed bath & beyond. and that was my seven jokes.
[cheers and applause] >> greg: all right. america, get ready for more crime. i'm so excited. we should all stand up and do the wave, except this is a crime wave. so if we sit back down, our wallets will be gone. last night i went to dinner and you know what i didn't get? murdered. that's quite a feat when you consider i had the jalapeno poppers at the times square applebee's. so as you can tell, i'm not dead. but for how long? last night, we told you about biden's 42 page plan to promote gender equity. that's one page for every gender. [laughter] inside the plane is a proposal to eliminate cash bail for suspects. not just the ones for the initials hb. this happens as repeat offenders have been killing and injuring people thanks to the new policy. it's turning repeat offenders and to repeat, repeat, repeat offenders.
it's like binge watching will and grace. we have heard the examples, and in virginia a man beats up his spouse and gets released on a no cash bail and then he killed her. the many attacks here on women, some resulting in death, all done by thugs that have been arrested and then released. some of those were not in the 42 page plan on gender equity. the radical das behind us don't seem to mind may be because it's working out the way that it wanted to. nothing shouts flow the revolution, including murder. you have to break a few eggs to make an omelette and instead of eggshells it's gun shells. the media is there to help out. every time we mention the homicides rates, what do you hear? other violent crime has gone down. take the "l.a. times" reporting that california had a 31% jump in homicides but, they point out that the states faring better on other violent crime. well, that's good to know. it's good to know that when someone attacks you, they are going to finish the job.
[laughs] meanwhile, san francisco families are hiring private security to keep them safe. i'm curious, how wealthy are these families since they can afford this? more importantly did they vote democrat? because clearly they can afford that, too. if you are living in sf instead of moving and you hire private guards, you must be doing all right. you are doing so well that you can avoid the hill that harms other people. that's a kind of privatization that with liberals love. maybe it's time to introduce bills that ban private security by democrats. they can throw no cash bail out on us, can we throw that right back at them? if you support no cash bail, why should you live in safety of the rest of us can't? it's a direct result of your stupid destructive decisions like flashing police budgets or putting pop rocks and cats of a pen.
but you see the power, democrats -- in force on others and as long as they are in power they can dance mask lists in public and eat in a fancy restaurant while you are under house arrest. [bleep] some can even marry their brother. [laughter] that must've been a cozy wedding when they asked guests if they were relatives of the bride and groom, i just said yes. talk about dysfunctional. as minneapolis gets worse and worse, mentally ilhan omar calls the cops dysfunctional but that's like me calling anyone drop-dead gorgeous. talk about the pot calling the kettle black, know what i'm saying? or in this case the wife calling the brother husband. but meanwhile a grandmother must take two extra buses to find a walgreens after they all closed in the neighborhood due to the retail theft by liberal leaders. we wish the democrat party might
rediscover common sense but they won't. they won. now they see their experiment in action. burnt out cities, record homicide rates, including as a recreational behavior, rapes and schools covered up by slacks. it's not exactly a brochure for sandals resorts and pushing it demands even more. you could say they are a glutton for punishment except they are not getting punished, you are. [applause] tonight's guests, he left the democratic party in the 80s and it's the only time he ever left the party in the 80s. former director of the national economic council and host of kudlow on fox business, larry kudlow. [cheers and applause] she is so sharp she carves pumpkins with her thoughts. a contributor to the spectator, kate high.
and she wants a scary costume, she can just take her hair extensions out. fox news contributor kat timpf. and he's stronger than hippies do after running the miami marathon, though n.w.a. world champion tyrus. so i want you to know that despite my terrible choice and socks i work or pinstripes for you. >> you picked up your whole game. >> greg: i have picked up my game because you know what, we are winning. and that's when you pick it up. so am i missing something? why double down on some kind of policy that everyone can see is killing people? no one can deny that this is bad policy, what is the underlying thing? >> i think the far left democratic party, the progressives, hate cops and they want to do everything they cannot to help cops and no bail,
no cash bail, know any bail. but the revolving door it come about recidivism. i thought your opening was exactly right. we have it here in new york and it's awful. you talk to almost anybody in law enforcement and they want to repost bail. keep them in, keep them locked up for a while. and i want go one step further and i want to end of century cities. i think they have been hiding illegal immigrants who are committing crimes constantly. recidivism, and illegal immigrants is a terrible plague and people have been killed time and time again. and they will not report it to the federal cops or the fbi and i think that's a catastrophe and i think that should be changed. in fact i want no sanctuary cities throughout the country at all. >> greg: i would be okay with sanctuary cities if there were centuries for things i like to do. right? you know what i'm saying. >> yes. >> greg: you can have a
century city for illegal aliens, what about other illegal activities that i like to participate in? then we could talk sanctuary cities. right? [applause] you noticed kate i have not seen said what my illegal activity is. >> very smart. >> exactly. and i'm not ever going to say what it is. maybe. call me. anyway, it could equity be -- could it raise the murder rate of women? so is equal to men? is that what this is about? >> you have it exactly right. it's the equality of insecurity. that's a equity that we are going for because we can't have safety across the board, we are going to make everyone safe but you are not going to be safe in the city, you can't be safe in the suburbs. and what you're talking about was san francisco was really interesting. actually heard that the cast of fuller house is now equipped with ar-15s. >> greg: it really yeah.
but seeing what the democrats to across the board, if it there is something bad you have to make it bad for everyone and the best solution, you said they were hiring security and whatnot but the best solution i think is actually to get out of san francisco, up and move to florida, texas, anywhere else. >> greg: the only problem is they often bring about ideas with them. the lady over there tyrus, makes a good point. she says that when things are bad the democrat solution is to make it bad for everybody rather than fix the bad. i think that's a very cogent point. by that lady sitting over there. >> you forgot her name again, didn't you? >> her name is kate. she's a lady. >> is the only good point i've ever made. >> i think we are being a little too tough on the democrats. i mean attempted murder is down. it's way down. >> greg: you know what's
funny? they murdered. you can't have both. >> right. there's nothing worse than someone trying to kill you and you call the police and the police come get them and he's going away for a long time, don't you worry. and your son is like, bye, bad guy. 17 minutes later, oh, he has a key. and the murder happens. that's literally what america is looking at now. then they are like well, because their definition of equality has nothing to do with equality, because america is really about equality of opportunity. it's not everyone's equal. because i am not equal with a. i'm not equal with a man who beats his wife every night, i'm not. so when they try to say that's their whole plan, i think -- whoever is running on the republican party, i would wait. i wouldn't say anything now but try this.
let's stop -- it doesn't matter your sexual orientation, your gender or the color of your skin. let's start focusing on people's character. because character is the only thing that you can count on. >> greg: definitely, absolutely. you know, kat, no cash bail would have been a great thing when you were dating. >> yeah. it would have saved me a lot of money. >> greg: it would have. you get married and they go and get rid of the no cash bail totally screwing you over. >> it's almost like a personal affront to me. now that i'm no longer dating convicts and married to a wonderful man. >> yeah we don't have to hear that hole, it do i pay rent or bail him out? >> if i did neither, neither of us would have a place to live. months to get rid of that guy, he's always breaking his foot. >> at stuff from the couch to the fridge. >> oh, yeah. anything else? i want to be safe. i do. i don't want to give anyone any
ideas but i'm very memorable. i mean, i'm also not allowed to have a gun so what i can do if someone tries to kill me, i can just go, no! that's it. and i don't think that's quite a match for a murder. >> can i just go back to -- i mean i love tyrus. i'm afraid of him but i love him. he's got his champions belt on. but i'm glad there's a lot of distance. equality of opportunity. look. you mentioned how the billionaires have their own security and i admit that there is some hypocrisy there. but greg, i want to be here to defend billionaires. i basically want to help them out, and i think they take too much flak. billionaires do wonderful things. to create businesses, tens of millions of jobs, higher wages and they need support groups. people like myself have to stand
up and support them and the reason i said equality of opportunity is, these lefty democrats want to punish success. and i don't. i want to reward success. >> greg: unless you are a successful criminal. >> if that's the american dream. >> greg: up next, dems have a long way to go when they bring in battling joe. ♪ ♪ [applause] on america's most reliable 5g network. like 2 lines of unlimited for just $27.50 a line. that's our everyday price. plus, our plans always come with unlimited talk, text and data included. so, switch to t-mobile and get 2 lines of unlimited for only $27.50 a line. that's half the price of verizon or at&t. only at t-mobile. the leader in 5g. you founded your kayak company because you love the ocean- not spreadsheets. you need to hire. i need indeed. indeed you do. indeed instant match instantly delivers quality candidates
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defense, amtrak doesn't go there. but if anyone can put goober in the gubernatorial it's him. he spoke at a rally for terry mcauliffe and i wonder if he still knows his own name? >> president biden: my name is jill biden, i'm jill biden's husband. that -- governor and wanting to be governor next time. for wanting to expand pre-k for three and 4-year-olds, millions of -- >> greg: i'm going to pretend i knew what that was. but maybe there was someone else on the presidents mind. speak to iran against donald trump. jerry is running against an accolade of donald trump. donald trump. donald trump. donald trump. trump. donald trump. former president donald trump. this is not a trump rally.
he doesn't want to talk about trump anymore. well, i do. >> greg: you mentioned a trump 24 times during that speech and that's once for every time he peed almost. thanks to inflation, supply chain issues and labor shortages, this thanksgiving will be the most expensive meal and history of the holiday. but i guess that makes it a good opportunity to have a simpler more authentic pilgrim thanksgiving. you can actually recreate the original menu that was there in 1621, just ask pelosi. she was there. joe, what gives? >> you're going to save money with old joe this thanksgiving, not spend money. just follow the rules. first of all, any relatives that are not vaccinated. they can't come, you cross them off the list, right? saving money right there. anyone who is driving long distances, can't do that.
global warming, you're off the list. and my ultimate thanksgiving many saber, turkey jerky. turkey jerky. turkey jerky is better than jerky. say it with me. turkey jerky is better than jerky. say it. [applause] >> greg: kat, you have biden constantly saying trump over and over again. is he doing that thing where you use the x in a relationship to make the current relationship look better, so it's like he's with america? because you remember that guy but the problem is the memories are starting to look good. >> sort of. it's sort of like he said he could headline but he only has . but look. things are changing and people are noticing. biden won virginia by like ten points but he had -- he was
directly saying parents should not be telling schools what they can teach. just saying that, that is crazy. like that wouldn't work anywhere. you call to order a pizza and they tell you how much you owe, and then you start to say what am i going to get? and then they call you a terrorist. that's what's happening in virginia. people are shocked, it's so simple. >> greg: that happened to me with dominoes. >> what you said some other stuff for dominoes. >> greg: tyrus, do you instinctively block out how joe sounds or -- it's like how people would go to me. how can you sit there and listen to trump? because their heads would be exploding and i'm saying, i find it hilarious. >> i think they -- i have kids,
as you constantly remind me. you, and several states. i won't say which one but there's always one a little slower than the rest of the group. [laughter] and when someone points it out to you, you always say, well, it's a late bloomer. or, they are special. so i think, and then after a while when he realized it's not growing out of it, then you're like, it's his mother. you know. so that's basically what the democrats are doing now. it's not him. it was 4:00 in afternoon, he naps at three, it's not on him. it's the weather come all this stuff. the best part of this whole thing is that we talk about joe slipping but he still playing the one cart he's got left, if you say his name three times, he will come back. >> greg: at betelgeuse. >> this is the best reason why president trump doesn't have
twitter or social media. i know he's sitting somewhere and it's probably gold saying, no, don't say nothing. let them continue to shoot their own feet and they will keep calling because they need him to answer that. they need him to come out and attacked jail because that's the new spin. not little girls getting attacked in bathrooms, this president, wherever you are, i know you're watching. just sit this one out. [laughter] [applause] could one argue that he is an irrelevant president at this point, that everyone has pretty much assumed he's not there and someone else is running the show? >> you know i would actually like if he was irrelevant. where you want him to get the job done, don't make it a spectacle, don't make it about you. but i have to say i think i had a little bit more of a romantic view with the idea, if america
had to go down the drain and we were spiraling out of control, and inflation in all this other stuff and having to show papers to work and go into restaurants, i kind of imagined that the evil behind that would be competent. but he is just not there at all. there's something a little bit jarring about that. >> greg: there someone else working the strings on the levers. larry, you must enjoy this. it gives you a lot of content. >> i know. it's just wonderful for our show. >> greg: better for america, good for the show. i would much rather come larry, have a great america and a mediocre show. i lied to, but anyway. >> but you know, there's a nice middle ground, save america and kill the bill. save america and kill the bill, kill all his bills. he still dangerous. he still makes decisions and he still got people behind the scenes programming him.
>> greg: it you are a democrat, did you deal with joe at all? you must have at some point, in the 80s. >> on another network or another show, every time he would run for president, he came on as a guest. he was always running for president unsuccessfully. and we were talking about iraq one time and i was telling him, maybe things aren't so bad. the iraq stock market is up and bond yields are down and he looked at me and said, you know i don't know anything about that. i will leave it to you. you figure it out and tell me later. he hasn't changed much. >> greg: i'm going to leave it to you. and every time something goes wrong he's a stomach there's always americans at fault. he said you guys have to suck it up, i'm losing my patience with you. up next, he rode in on a horse, now he's feeling remorse.
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>> greg: he's overcome with regret overrunning an unsafe set. criminal charges could be filed in the accidental shooting death on the set of alec baldwin's film "rest." nothing was ruled out during press conference plus a criminal defense lawyer mark gary gose recently told fox news that alec's responsibility as a producer could be facing involuntary manslaughter charges. investigators don't know who loaded the gun or what exactly it was loaded with prior to being handed to baldwin, so there is still no proof it was in hunter biden's. [laughter] although the santa fe sheriff's department announced today that a live round projectile was recovered from the scene. meanwhile on the film side, the person in charge of weapons is known as an armor. for "rest" that was 22-year-old hannah good here as a reader. according to the report, and i was accused of various safety violations earlier this year on
the set of nicolas cage's film "the old way." she is noted to be more careless with guns then stelter is with carbs. but that's not the kind of job you can take lightly like a barista or a secretary of transportation. cage reportedly stormed up the set after gutierrez read reportedly fired guns without warning. and if things are too crazy for a nut like nick cage, you know you're in trouble. i mean, we are talking about nick cage. [screaming] [laughter] like in elk? he scored a touchdown. [laughter] >> my eyes, my eyes! [screaming]
>> greg: he is the greatest, possibly the greatest actor of our generation. right, tyrus? >> the pig movie was phenomenal. >> greg: the pig movie was great. but i always say you have to see protocol. bad lieutenant. anyway, off the subject, they could have had a real expert there but they went with someone who is clearly -- >> but you don't have to ask the question but this is one of the problems with hollywood. nepotism. her father was a great armor, one of the best in the business. and his daughter, she made a many dangerous mistakes. nick cage left because he she fired a live round but then his eardrum. and her excuse was, i'm sorry, i'll be better, but actually it was i was nervous and i didn't even know if i wanted the job. so if i'm putting a movie together and on the resume it was my first job and i didn't
even know if i wanted it and she's known for carrying guns under her armpit, which is great because the bots are this way but that barrel is this way. and they set it was more like taking photos and then using the same prop gun to shoot targets come in to shoot around. they get away with this because her only credential is her dad's success. now when we see nepotism with a bad actor, like someone who is a great actor and their kid comes on and they are terrible, it's just a bad movie. but in this case, somebody is. >> greg: it's true. there was so much of a history with this woman, they can see, she shouldn't have been given a weapon. my rule is anyone who likes to pose with weapons are more interested in the cool factor than the safety factor. >> it's like where's the cancel culture on this? you will have a lot more problems in hollywood apparently if you make an offensive joke
and it you won't another job. but if you are repeatedly dangerous with lethal weapons, and you can keep getting hired, i don't understand these people. >> you piece the story together, every aspect of gun security was violated. every aspect. and baldwin, look. i don't know how this will turn out and of course is the tragedy but if you get a gun, you should look through the barrel to see what's in the gun especially if you are going to shoot it. that wasn't done and i think there was a lot of blame spread around. mr. baldwin may have another look at the second amendment so that gun owners know how to use guns. >> greg: if an nra instructor was there instead of of somebody that may be shared his political opinions, the sharing of the political opinions didn't help. this is the whole thing about separation. people have to work together and you gain expertise from different people. who do you think is responsible,
kate? >> this bothers me about the whole idea of hollywood and guns. because they want to yell about guns and gun control and it's not so much that they hate people with guns but they don't trust themselves with guns and then they project that onto you and say if you i can't handle that, then you can handle it. and we can't be unsafe here. but look. the reason that gun was real and onset is because people in hollywood think, guns are cool. they romanticize it. these actors, they didn't want a prop gun, they want to know what it's like. it's not like you want to starve, so you go to applebee's and watch everyone else eat. they want to be in that role but the idea, the idea that you are throwing around a gun that you yourself did not look into, and if you don't know how to do it, ask anyone there. open that gun and show me there is no bullet. if you are going to talk so
poorly about guns, understand enough to know that you can handle it. >> whereas john wayne now that we need him? >> greg: the thing is, we have the nra and i think this whole event vindicated the nra. i took just the basic training when i bought my gun, and you don't even -- you can't make jokes about the stuff. you can't show up, they will slap you. if you're holding your gun and you -- like i'm holding my gun and i turned and said, larry. the guy will whack the gun out of your hand or throw you off the range because i don't have any tolerance for that. and they don't understand it. hollywood doesn't understand it. they think the nra is a bunch of rednecks and hanging out there and shooting stuff. no, it's you [bleep]. >> remember finger guns? >> yes, they would call the principal and have a kid suspended for doing this but
meanwhile they can do that with the real thing. it's insane. i'll go back to my original point, nicolas cage, greatest actor. he would never do this. if they had listened to nicolas cage, she wouldn't be working. coming up, squid games costumes should cease, as the new rule from the fun police. ♪ ♪ ♪ i had a dream that someday ♪ ♪ i would just fly, fly away ♪
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>> greg: at schools are intervening, no "squid game" costumes this halloweening. but are these administrators mean for taking the fun out of halloween? three upstate elementary schools, are they are, band squid games costumes, and also some of the children have seafood energies atomic allergies. principals reportedly sent an email to parents after noticing kids were playing a version of the games on the playground. of course the parents are the ones that let the kids watch
that stuff. now, by a version of, i don't the kids were actually killing each other on the playground. no items that can be interpreted as weapons should be brought to school in that costume should not be too gory or scary. i have to say, that covers a lot. doesn't leave us with many options, doesn't it? you can't be daring, you can't be scary. you can't even be interesting. i guess that leaves us with one option. [laughter] tyrus, you've got a lot of hollow means to deal with, you got for kids. what's your take on the costumes? >> sometimes i think they do it for marketing because if you don't mention it, nobody -- that's not a great costume. he looks like an out of work mario bad guy that never got a chance to be on the turtle team. like there's nothing exciting about a black mask with a circle
but now because the schools against it and they were coming out of it publicly, every 14-17-year-old in america is like, i got to have that. they continue to do the wrong thing. but they just don't get it. dracula, zombies, you name it and people would do it. but, now it's a big deal. >> greg: i want to go is a billionaire. >> greg: why did you change your outfit to go is a billionaire? >> it's come as you are. and, this year i want to go is a billionaire. i want to talk to these kids, too much welfarism. they gone to school and their teachers have taught them to be woke socialists. so i can improve that and i would talk about the virtues of
equal opportunity and capitalism. >> greg: right, break off the top of the candy bar and go, that's for the government. don't take it, throw it into the street. >> you'd have to have workfare. >> greg: kids show up at your house, make them do chores. kate, what do you make of this costume? >> first, the only thing i would say is put some hundreds instead of a pocket square, that would help your bill and billionaire look. but, what's so interesting is i've never heard of the show or what this game is but i'm allergic to shellfish so i also stay away from squid. but they don't trust children to live in a fantasy world. and that's what's so strange, the adults are always the ones mixing fantasy and reality, and it's like they can't trust the kid knows they are dressing up as something scary, a murderer, not murder someone. but they can't do it and that's
what they bring in handmaid's tale and harry potter come it's a big analogy for everyday life but you don't get calls at there's a bunch of feral cats running around new york city on halloween when a bunch of middle-aged women are just as leopards. you know, it's halloween. honestly more violence on a day-to-day basis with all these masks that we were forced to wear. you see more violence between masking and unmasking than the ones they were supposed to match. >> right. and, the emails went out pretty late. what if they already had the kids classroom? i would pick it, but i'm lazy. up next, our men and women appear is when it comes to shedding tears?
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a new study concluded that men are just as emotional as one minute and it boiled down to what they defined as emotional. for example, men getting passionate while watching sports counts, and i suppose it counts as emotional come to come up when my dad hollered to come and get away from the tv, general hospital is on. that goes for enthusiasm and -- shows up with a bottle of red and a bearskin rug. we go to a correspondent to see if this is all true. >> how could you call me sensitive and emotional? you don't think i have any feelings? >> greg: that's why we hired him. larry, and your experience, who is more emotional come at you or your wife? >> without question, i am. a little more than 25 years ago, i went literally stark raving mad. off the charts. she was very common and instructed me and showed the
path to get out. and i sampled a few of them. >> greg: i think it would be a little high. just a few. >> men are very sensitive, particularly billionaire men. [laughs] >> greg: tyrus, this is a bogus study. if you showed differences, that would be sexist and stereotypical and so everybody has to show that they are all the same. >> they say men are as emotional as women because when we get dumped, we go out and get hit by a truck or we walk into a bar and say come at you for guys, let's do this. or we date a really unattractive woman because she doesn't remind us of what walked out on us. [laughter] so that's not dealing with your
emotions. but i'm lying. if we were able to express ourselves, we wouldn't be in those decisions. we wouldn't buy cars when we are 50 that we don't fit in. we wouldn't do things like that to feel better. and, i'm watching batman. >> people are supposed to do have feelings. and like i don't care. like i don't have all these feelings, like cool, ted bundy. you are suppose to have feelings. and they can be horrible and miserable. without feelings, your sociopaths. that's nothing to brag about.
>> you have feelings. we lock them up. >> i'd like to think i'm a sociopath. >> that's kat, your kate. and, one way, i'm emotional, once you realize that as a human you let them out, it's good to cry and it's good to release. if you want to see an emotional man, show them that you are crying. they don't know how to handle that. that's bringing out emotion, and i'm a little bit upset. i don't think they need it to spend so much money and time on the study. i would just open up c-span and studied at the institute of
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>> greg: we are out of time, thanks to larry kudlow, kat timpf, shannon bream is next. i love you america. ♪ ♪ >> shannon: hello and welcome to "fox news @ night," i'm shannon bream in new york city. breaking tonight, republicans grilling attorney general merrick garland over the justice department memo targeting parents for threats and intimidation at school boards. senator tom cotton not letting up tonight even hours after the hearing. >> thank god merrick garland is not on the supreme court because