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tv   Gutfeld  FOX News  October 5, 2021 8:00pm-9:00pm PDT

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grandpa -- back in the 1920 in that area. they went from state to state convincing people that day -- allowed them to put 20,000 gallons of gasoline in the ground. they didn't want them around. >> laura: we are going to need scholars to translate that. "gutfeld!" next. ♪ ♪ [applause] ♪ ♪ >> greg: happy tuesday, everyone. so this is crazy. on monday attorney general announced the fbi would investigate a disturbing spike in harassment, intimidation, and threats of violence against school administrators, teachers, and stuff. a disturbing spike. every talking about legitimate
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charges or trey gowdy's hair? in the memo, they decried threats of violence. but are parents trying to get to the bottom of the lousy education? that's more of a national threat than china, russia, and iran combined. school board and the law want you to think that parental concern is now a domestic terror threat. that's right, a mom yelling at school board members at a public meeting is the same as her blowing up a school. demanding quality schools is now like crashing a plane into the pentagon. they've taken the most necessary debates one could have and recasted it to the perfect left wing fantasy. heroic educators -- go" are the dads. right after the national school board letter demanded help from the white house.
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first, can you imagine asking joe biden for help on anything? other than how to use metamucil. did you not see the kabul airport evacuation? asking joe for help is like asking ted bundy for a ride home. it was either that or ted kennedy, i couldn't make up my mind. thank you. now, they may be unsavory incidents, but when it comes to getting between a dad and his kid who you've labeled as racist because of his race, that can happen. teachers and parents will get into shouting matches, which is in good, but it's understandable. given the insane teachers unions, the brainwash they call education and the utter disregard for difference of opinion, they don't care if our schools are dead last beer they only compare care about you having a say in the manner. which could be why they suggested that the acts of malice could be the equivalent to domestic terrorism.
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now more watered-down than kat's court ordered sample. the school board actually learn something. if you claim something as domestic terror, it's in the eye of the beholder. no one can tell you that you want to arise, so you can use it on anyone. except of course rioters or looters. just angry parents. just you wait, that harmless coworker of yours will be next. >> are you wearing body spray? >> yeah, it's mountain glacier blast. >> hello, department of homeland security? yes, thank you. [applause] >> greg: all you have to do is weaponize the potential for a threat and you can silence
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anything through fear. maybe i can accuse my wife of being an immediate threat when i'm trying to watch the game and by game i mean the masked singer. think about it, i don't watch games, parents were upset with mask mandates being imposed on the kids, not to mention critical race theory. and a normal world, that would be consider both physical and mental abuse, but this is a joe biden world and it's considered good instruction. so rather than engage the other side, the left hates open debate almost as much as they love open borders. they hate legitimate protests as much as they love riots. and now they have the law to intimidate you into silence. i wonder what the angry white male has to say. ♪ ♪ >> i was tired of being ignored by teachers and school administrators. that is why i started homeschooling. don't forget to invent the game of paragraphs. >> i know, i know.
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>> now i can be ignored in the privacy of my own home. ♪ ♪ >> i hope that's his kid. or someone should call the cops. i wonder what the angry black male has to say. ♪ ♪ >> all right, back after this good thanks for listening to tyrus and tim. watts, got fouled? can't you see them working here. fine, ask a question. what? referring to parents as domestic terrorists because they have a difference of opinion? yeah, that works. that's a lot like me trying to interview -- >> hi, there's this man asked me a lot of questions and i'm very concerned. can you make sure my kids are okay. i'm really concerned. please help me.
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♪ ♪ >> greg: now the fbi will split their time between tracking down men with viking hunts and irate parents met at teachers. as for the daily threats from al qaeda, we will get to them right after we raid the home of this mouthy soccer home in front of her kids because she had her own thoughts about how her kid should be educated. so while they target parents, you can still follow a woman into a bathroom and film her and the president will defend it. not only will he defend it, he will ask what kind of shampoo she uses. you can brutalize anyone or steal anything in new york and to be back on the streets in hours. you can torch businesses and permanently ruin cities like minneapolis and never see jail time. the fbi needs a cup of mom because she raised her voice to a social studies teacher with a rainbow tattoo on her neck. that is the world we live in,
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where your speech is redefined as violence and their violence is re-to find as justice. >> let's welcome tonight's guests. veteran and florida g.o.p. congressional candidate. knowledge is power, her brain could blow a fuse, fox business correspondent susan li. she's more demanding than the ransom note, fox news contributor kat. that the sound you hear means he's doing jumping jacks or there's a thunderstorm approaching, my massive sidekick in the nw of world champion cyrus. >> greg: susan, how are you? >> i'm great, i love the khakis.
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>> greg: for halloween i'm going is tucker carlson. this is the tucker carlson look. >> good. just be one yeah, you're going to get me in so much trouble. nobody sees me from the waist down, so i can get away with wearing the khakis. my wife wouldn't know now she knows. we have that cropped out. speaking of cropped out, i don't even know where that came from -- >> i don't know where this is going. >> greg: i could actually paralyze this whole conversation by saying, you making the comment about my close kind of threatens me, right? it's kind of a threat to me. it might be terrorism. i think you might've terrorized me, susan. >> okay. you can file a complaint if you'd like. it's crazy, don't you think? >> write him a scathing email. >> greg: it's too late, you are done. >> i just think it's crazy.
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-- >> greg: you are going to be on cs nbc. >> the school boards have turned into an episode of "squid game," which you should watch. there is a lot more time to be spent on fighting violent crime, did you know that murders went up 30% last year? 30%. that is the most we've seen since 1960. how about protecting women? >> greg: except for kat. [laughter] now, i'm kidding. it's because that's sweetest thing you've ever said. >> greg: you know what kills me? of all the stuff that the media and democrats are accusing trump of potentially doing, they are actually doing. >> not even trying to hide it. >> greg: it's amazing, they are actually going after law-abiding citizens so they are no longer part of the dialogue. >> 100%. he actually said this in the
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very beginning. he said look, they are not after me, i'm just in the way. and what is actually proving to be true is that now if you disagree with anything that the u.s. government says, they can just label you as a domestic terrorist and utilize this blanket cover and then the fbi just rushes impure this is what i would like to see, if they would've taken half of that consideration into the taliban network and everything else that was building themselves up in afghanistan as opposed to on our own american citizens, were probably in a lot better position overall. but instead they want to utilize the cancel culture to extend itself out in investigations and arrest people who disagree with anything they have to say. >> greg: they could have gone after may be a olympic gym coach who, like, and molested all of these athletes. all right, tyrus. parents should have some modicum -- is that how you say it -- with politeness when
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talking to teachers. he is supposed cut me off when i make no sense. >> i mean... [laughter] socks and khakis, you nailed it bro. you know, what cracks me up as i was looking online trying to find how many buildings the parents burned down or stores they robbed or people they punched out or left dead and bleeding in the streets. i can't really seem to find a whole lot on these domestic terrorists other than they'll uniformly go into a building come away they're trying to get in front of a microphone, and then complain when their time is up. so where are we living that that is -- that word used to mean something. it was the last administration, anyone who said hey, that's president trump, he was a domestic terrorist. so now because is not on twitter anymore, they've turned it on the people. but they are leaving out who is instigating this.
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who is the one making comments like, they are just mad their guy lost. who said that? that was supposed to be someone who was helping. so the parents know that they are going into a room with closed ears and closed minds to begin with, so they get upset over their most precious commodity, their children, which is to be our most precious commodity in this country. and now it's if you don't see the way we are, there's something wrong with you. when this happened in the 60s, it was the klan. when this happened before that, it was jim crow, it always seems to end up being the democrats. they think they know what's best for you without ever bothering to talk to you. and that is a crime. it's terrible. >> greg: it's also amazing that they need to coerce you into believing their ideas. >> you can't do anything without us, especially minorities. you can't do nothing unless we -- >> they are hijacking education. they don't like the fact that in addition of crt in our education
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is being challenged. >> the whole point is critical race theory, which means a critical idea open for discussion. not critical race facts. >> greg: kat, theoretically with this categorization of terror, this show -- this show is an act of domestic terrorism. >> absolutely true. >> greg: we were just crushing them in the race. [applause] >> i was gonna say, i don't have kids, but if i did i would be yelling all the time. i mean, i'm already kind of on the edge as it is and the good news is, i get to be on a talk show where i say how i feel. and they don't. and also, it's mind-blowing to think about how truly, truly insane it is that these parents want to have a say in their
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child's education. they want to have a say in where their kids spend a third of their day five days a week for nine months out of the year for years of their life at a location that their tax dollars also pay for. like, that is not only not terrorism, that is about as good of an example of a basic fundamental right as you can get. >> greg: well said. >> thank you. >> greg: we have to move on. up next, when the irs wants to increase her stress. if you're 55 and up, t-mobile has plans built just for you whether you need a single line or lines for family members, you'll get great value on america's most reliable 5g network. like 2 lines of unlimited for just $27.50 a line. that's our everyday price. plus, our plans always come with unlimited talk, text and data included. so, switch to t-mobile and get 2 lines of unlimited for only $27.50 a line. that's half the price of verizon or at&t. only at t-mobile. the leader in 5g.
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♪ ♪ >> greg: biden empowers the irs to make your life and i r mass.
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always wanted to rhyme skaggs with banks. according to susan, president biden needs a leap ton of cash. your words, not mine. speak up okay. did i say that? >> greg: i don't know. one way to do that, they claim, is to beep up the irs is funding and power and now the bill may include a mandate that will in and force banks to turn over to the irs and you will cash flows. the threshold with any account with over $600, or any american with a side hustle recycling beer cans. as if your annual tax filing wasn't already a overcomplicated mass. now they will track your transactions in a mass of data grab to soak you dry.
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treasury secretary janet yellen, or janet line, am i right? says this will help catch tax dodgers. people with 600 books are now considered wealthy, which will be the case when they drain us all of our savings. 600 bucks is nothing these days, especially for kat. did you know what that gets her in her life? 20 bottles of cuervo, 100 jell-o shots at a cancun hotel, or three complete cleanings and an uber after she throws up in them the night before. >> i'm not really a puker. >> greg: that's good to know. do you believe this? do you believe this? do you believe this is all about finding tax -- light, six otterbox question might do something else going on here, right? >> if you have $600 a year in transactions. i mean, period. there's no american i'm aware of
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who doesn't do at least $600 in transactions. so what this is is the irs and big government trying to pry and spy on americans once again, but now they're not being as covert as they used to be. i remember when they were trying to utilize the postal service to spy on us. this is where big government tries to get their overreach and continued to spy on the american people and follow the ccp guidelines. >> greg: i just spent $600 at the corner of 50th and third. >> what those khakis? but, you know. >> greg: he gave them to me for 600 though. >> i'm not going there. you know what, you are going to bring back the old money-saving institution of the mattress. you are going to have americans say, don't put it in the bank, you're going to lose it. so you're going to see guys like drug dealers and money laundering is getting their own
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infomercials. teaching americans how to hide and protect their money. [applause] >> greg: they are applauding drug dealers on fox news! >> we are all domestic terrorists, why not throw some drug dealing in there anyway? i'm telling you right now, a rich tax dodger, his bank accounts or on an island somewhere, because he's rich and he knows how to divert his funds. see you are going to mess with a single dad who is child support murdering him. did you make $200 on draft gangs? tax that. were you will laugh, but wait till it happens to you. >> i don't think i will be a single dad. >> you can identify is whatever you want. >> i'm a pregnant mom. >> greg: again, is there something that we are not being told? >> we are not being told anything pure they're just saying what it's not, but they're not telling us why.
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nobody asks why or what do you mean, which is why when they say, "tax the rich" people are like yeah, yeah. and i'm like, wait a minute, have you ever thought maybe you are the rich? this is to go after wealthy people, but the limit is having had a cumulative $600 in a single year, that -- excuse me, there was a year where i had done -- i didn't have a place to live. i spent $600 that year. i was not a wealthy person that year. >> greg: no, you went. >> but you know it, i'm stronger for it. [applause] >> greg: political donations will be tracked now. oh, you donated $200 to the republicans, you are getting taxed. watch out. >> i think you have to declare for a certain amount. >> greg: you are the business expert here. >> apparently. i'm pretty good i would say, not bad.
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>> greg: so money in the mattress. >> or it goes into bitcoin. killing your own financial -- >> greg: what if you put your bitcoins in the mattress? >> well, -- >> you can't, i know the answer to this one! >> you have to drill for the bitcoin. you mine for it. i like that, you are connected -- >> greg: don't talk to me like i'm a child with a head injury. >> but you are dressed like a private school student. >> greg: all right -- >> all of the kids in the movie "school of rock." >> overrated movie. >> i think it's underrated. >> greg: all right, up next, i didn't ask you a question -- >> you did. a lot of them. >> greg: up next, were facebook workers clowning around
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♪ ♪ >> greg: did you go out of your head the day facebook crapped the bed. facebook, instagram, and what's up was all done. people suddenly found themselves being productive. a whistle-blower claim the company covered up evidence that its platform was spreading misinformation for talk about a coincidence. that's like me calling in sick after a night hot tubbing with geraldo. oh, it's food poisoning. no, it's geraldo poisoning. oh, that's got a "ew." translation, some dolt hit the wrong button. they leaned against a switch and
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do it effectively removed facebook from the internet, hilarious. it is hilarious. what button did they push to make it all go away? and can they do it again permanently? [applause] i will take the applause, i'm shallow. a good lesson for all of us, that is why we never let our interns get too close to the controls. >> steve, do not press that button. >> what, this button? ♪ ♪ >> that was amazing! >> we are going to be in so much trouble. do not press that again. >> why would i press it again? ♪ ♪ >> that was awesome. >> do not press it a third time. do not do it again. >> wait! ♪ ♪
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>> you now, tyrus, there's a button in this building that can change the stations while we are on tv, did you know that's? >> up remote? >> a universal remote. >> if you miss something? did you miss me when facebook went down? >> first of all, i don't have a facebook. >> greg: so who's the guy i've been -- >> i don't know. >> greg: i set up private photos to you. you said i looked hot! >> that wasn't me, got full beard i don't have facebook. i like playing outside. there were some people getting pretty upset and i was like, six hours? you need to look in the mirror real hard if you could look at a picture of somebody's fake life for six hours. but more important than that, seeing that facebook is just like over government where they
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try to play everybody against each other and profit from it, this could've been a good time for parents to really think about it. we need to make sure that our kids aren't on social media, they don't need it. just like you wouldn't give your kid a beer and a pack of cigarettes, don't give your kid social media because of the long-term effects could actually be worse than cigarettes if you are looking at some of the stuff that's going on. speed on the same effect on the brain. >> we need to challenge facebook. why is it only celebrities that are verified? you have to -- i know, democrats are going to cry. you should have to have a driver's license or identification card to have a social media account so people know who you are, you can be held accountable, and we can stop all the fake -- not like what that guy asked for prayer the fake account. >> i have an instagram account for both of my animals. >> wow. >> i have nothing else to say, kat. i give up. >> greg: you are an expert in that kind of thing, susan.
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we talked about this on fox business. aside from your course language, you have a lot to say about this. >> welcome a lot of people came up to me saying it could be coincidence. right after 60 minutes whistle-blower and all of this e subnet blows up. i would say it's hard to believe for a company that is worth a trillion dollars. under one button brings the whole thing down. >> greg: they leaned against it. i hope that's true but i don't have any evidence for this, but that's never stopped me from making a definite claim about something. >> status -- that would've put you to sleep. >> greg: you could put those together. >> greg: you sound great doing it, i'll tell you that much. by the way, facebook is kind of dead, right? >> yeah. you are more into tiktok.
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>> i've been on tiktok for a couple weeks. i probably do spend too much time on social media, but i don't agree with people saying that being addicted to social media is the same as being addicted to heroin. which i heard a lot recently. anyone saying the addictions are the same has clearly never met a heroin addict. i dated one very briefly. i let her lay dead. whatever, it was long distance, i didn't realize he relapsed, it was over pretty quickly once i realized he did. long story short, he died only many thousands of dollars. i don't think that's going to happen to little susie on snap shot. it's not really comparable situation. >> greg: i don't know, i've gotten a lot of money out of that tyrus guy.
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>> it's not me, got fouled. >> greg: he paid for a lot of those photos. photos that i give away for free. anyway, with the world be a better place without facebook? >> absolutely pit here's the bottom line. we know for a fact that the taliban, as they continue to clear out of afghanistan, what do they utilize? what's up. not to mention the fact that facebook is responsible for over half of the active recruitment of sex trafficking. that's all for facebook. granted, i feel bad for the guy who's late, i've lost all my friends. i have to go actually talk to people now. i haven't had facebook since high school, but the whole point is that i feel like the world is better off without the social media. people like that should go out and engage with one another. you can't have sexual predators preying upon the way they do you with your photos. not to mention they are terrorist organizations who
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could be verified. as a congressional candidate, i can't be verified on twitter, but don't worry about it, the spokesperson for the taliban has a twitter approved a verified account. >> greg: and you have a better beer than him. >> so true. [applause] >> greg: is a joke in there. they are waving me on. coming up, katie couric makes a false throwing everyone and their mom under the bus. [applause]
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terribly. it's an unflattering inside look in not saying a lot about a woman who televised her own colonoscopy. from saint she loved to pass off diane sawyer and admitting to mistreating ashley banfield, she mistreated ashley banfield! oh, my god! bridge burning has many asking why she would publish something like this. but i totally get it, people of gaza. in fact, i just completed my newest tell all, it's called "spilling his guts." in it, i dish on all vcd things some fox hosts have done over the years. for example, did you know the original idea for fox and friends was to have two anchors and an actual farm was the show, but the animal ended up mauling, so they killed the idea and the
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fox. and brian remains severely disfigured to this day. look at that, a brave man for coming out like that. makeup can only hide so much, susan. also, how about this? julie banderas real name is julio kundera's? he changed both their name and her gender in the 90s to avoid arrest for her participation in a murderous drug rage. she will cut your heart out with a nail file. you won't believe this one, peter doocy and is actually steve doocy's father. turns out, peter is 78 years old and steve is 24, but has spent way too much time in a tanning bed. that book will be going on line shortly. kat, is it impossible to keep things to yourself? >> i thought i had a hard time
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with it. but there are some things i do keep to myself. i guess maybe it was just because everyone around her was getting canceled and she's like, man, i did all this horrible stuff, so no one better cancel me. and then he outed like he did so much horrible stuff, why is no one canceling me. i don't want to compare it, because it's a horrible thing to say, but i'm going to. it's kind of like how the ptk killer got caught. he was jealous of all the attention ted bundy was getting in and started sending stuff to the cops and then he got caught. she cancels herself because she wants the attention but i don't that she's killed anyone, because if she did, she would've put it in there. >> greg: grade point. remember morgan spurlock? okay, never mind. supersize me, he precanceled himself. remember that? is there any business reason to do this?
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she's rich, she's got money. >> i think i can decipher what that means. but at 60, may be it's a cathartic experience for her. she needs to get rid of the guilt that she experienced, because i kind of enjoyed the gossip to be honest. a look under the hood come all those beautiful cloths on the breakfast tv wars, who knew? >> greg: it was all up front. america's sweetheart, she was america's satan. >> again, i'm just curious -- i'm curious what she has to say about matt lauer and some of her other guests. i'm chris to see what katie couric actually uncovers on this. >> greg: you know it it is? i think she wants a reality show. but you've got to figure out, what is her last play? >> what would it be called, katie hates everybody? >> greg: yeah, it's like the reverse of "everybody hates
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chris." >> i have a problem with this. i've been -- something about talking about what going on behind closed doors is offensive to me. even when they tell the good stories, you are in the right to be there and there's stuff that happens indoors as between you and the other professionals. writing books about it to me just seems -- it's cheap, and there's nothing to it. and yeah, it's going to sell -- i read some of the things and i was like, why would you replay this? what is the point other than trying to make a fastball. and at the expense of your colleagues. >> greg: one of the revelations is that she was around prince harry when he was 20 and get this, he smelled like booze and cigarettes. he's from england, big bend is a giant cigarette. >> and he's 20. >> greg: everybody was 20 -- if you don't smell like booze and cigarettes, there's nothing wrong with you. >> this is not funny at all, which is not a roast, just
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picking on it. >> greg: tv makes people weird. >> did you hear what she wrote about the doctor with bad breath? i was like, wow. >> may be give a heads up before you write the book. >> greg: that would be a great little book. a book that just publishes all the people with bad breath. i would read that book. i would go through the index and make sure i'm not in it. i am greg gumbel. remember him? [laughter] i'm trying to think of double cheese. up next, a trip to space. is this too bold for the actor who is years old? ♪ ♪
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♪ ♪ >> greg: it's the final frontier for william shatner. but hopefully this trip to orbit won't lead to captain kirk's obit. next week, william shatner will launch into space for real.
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with jeff bezos blue origin rocket. the actor confirmed, writing, yes, it's true, i'm going to be a rocket man. at 90 years old, he set to become the oldest person ever in space. aside from this. and william shatner will share the ride with three other space tourists. that's my favorite villain from "star trek." the flight is only 10 minutes, but william shatner thinks it's going to be long, long time. so good luck, bill. may the force be with you. you know? because, it's like -- no? battle star galactica? >> maybe just ask the question, hot stuff. >> greg: at 90 going to space -- that's going to be a lot of loose stools flying around. >> okay.
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that's a record. he's going to his pants. where is that going to go in space? it's going to float around. i'm thinking this through. put a court up there. >> nobody interrupt him. he's on a hot streak. i was happy that he was going to outer space. now i'm not going to watch. you haven't even gotten to his name yet. >> greg: it's the past tense. that's my time, ladies and gentlemen. >> greg: kat, i thought this was a brilliant marketing move of basis. he owns amazon. >> yes, he does. i have heard of him before. i guess -- i would go to space if someone invited me, but i
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also worry i would be disappointed. it's been so exclusive for years, do you ever go to an exclusive place you can finally get into and sometimes it sucks. how would we know? >> you'd probably be the first one there. >> you can't text people asking if they are mad at you. just go to a really large, empty room. it's probably the same. >> greg: i think this is exciting. >> the thing no one has looked past and i -- an uncanny resemblance between jeff bezos and dr. evil pure they literally almost modeled their aircraft before it goes off. i'll tell you come i think it's really exciting. i almost thought it was dr. evil. wouldn't that be bad -- if his nun was evil and you wanted to go to med school but you can't?
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>> doesn't he just go up for 10 minutes and come back down. >> greg: you are orbit-shaming. [laughter] if i went up for 10 minutes, i would not come back. >> he just blew holes through your entire -- >> greg: all the [bleep] is going to come flying out. >> you can't hold it for ten hours -- >> 10 minutes. >> 10 minutes. >> greg: i have problems holding it for 10 minutes. >> there are depends these days, i do believe they make that. >> remember the astronaut that where the diaper? do you remember her? she was driving across country, that's where she got the idea. remember the diaper lady? >> she didn't want to stop so she could go kill people. >> greg: astronauts who kill in a diaper. don't go away, will be right back. ♪ ♪ this is art inspired by real stories of people living with bipolar depression.
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>> greg: we are back. by the way, astronaut lady did
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not actually kill anybody. speak on so sorry. please don't cancel any. >> or me. >> shannon: i am canceling you. we are at a time. thanks to cory, susan, kat, tyrus. "fox news @ night" with evil shannon bream is next. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> shannon: hello, and welcome to "fox news @ night." i am shannon bream in washington. breaking tonight. the biden administration being accused of attempting to intimidate parents into silence. critics pushing back hard against the justice department's new crackdown on what the doj is calling threats and harassment against school officials. we have a live report plus our panel is standing by to weigh in

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