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tv   Gutfeld  FOX News  August 25, 2021 8:00pm-9:00pm PDT

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set your dvr so you always stay connected with us and also don't forget to show that you understand what's at stake by wearing your usa-made freedom matters gear, go to lauraingraham.com. all for charity, and i want to thank you for watching, and remember, it's america now and forever. greg gutfeld takes it all from your. >> the democrats want to know what they are going to be facing. let's talk about it right now, because if i were a republican running, i would say democrats can't protect us across the world, democrats can't protect our streets and democrats can't protect us at the border. >> greg: that's how bad the democrats are doing. joe scarborough is a republican again. [scattered applause] ♪ ♪
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>> greg: super-duper wednesday, everyone! yeah. all right. former president trump just released an ad and it's really soft on president biden. >> president biden: america is back. >> highest inflation rate. >> the border is collapsing, the climb ins covid collections. >> president biden: we amplified our power, some at new strength buried >> should we be embarrassed? >> lipomas he is back. >> kabul is not an imminent threat environment. >> president biden: the likelihood there's going to be the taliban overrunning everything and owning the whole country is highly unlikely. >> greg: did i say soft? sorry about that, that was as soft as chris cuomo's skull. meaning not soft at all. that's if chris cuomo is watching. i didn't really watch these
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videos before i do the show instead of doing shots of hand sanitizer with kat. and america, please don't say i told you to drink hand sanitizer, say kat did. so let's have another taste, shall we? >> they own the whole country now. the taliban are now in complete control. >> how did president biden get this so wrong? >> first of all, our mission hasn't failed. yet. i don't care if you think i'm satan reincarnated. do i bear responsibility? zero responsibility. >> china is ready for friendly relations with the taliban. >> [indiscernible]. >> we have to ask the taliban for permission for american citizens to leave, true or not true? >> they are in control. >> president biden: i can't recommend anyone better to lead this operation -- >> they are just chanting to
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america. >> greg: well, much like the wahlberg parents, i fear that will leave a mark. [scattered laughter] >> oh! >> greg: thought is a really terrible joke, and i'm so proud of it. that video says whatever when outside the media thinks, that joe is a human tea bag and he's always in hot water. we saw yesterday's horrible speech, it had the intimidating power of a refrigerator magnet. it was as inspirational as the list of side effects in a drug commercial. is energizing is eating a pound of pasta after a stack of pancakes and chasing that with a fistful of xanax. he answered your questions than the taliban and split faster than [indiscernible]'s pants on doughnut day. while all minds were on afghanistan, what did biden lead with? progressive's greatest hits, all aimed at us and not them.
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of >> president biden: today's vote in the house allowed them to consider my build back better agenda, a broad framework to make housing more affordable, provide two years of universal, high-quality pre-k and two years of free community college. making infrastructure more resilient to the climate crisis and so much more. i also want to thank everyone who voted to support the john lewis voting rights act. you know, advancing -- it's an act to restore and expand voting protections, to prevent voter suppression, and to secure the most sacred of american rights, the right to vote freely, the right to vote fairly, and the right to have your vote count. >> greg: so first you got free stuff, which at least didn't go to the taliban. still, it's sort of like when you're wife gives you a christmas gift bought with your money. sorry. our money. except here it leads to inflation and unemployment. [scattered laughter]
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thank god she's not watching. we got voter suppression without any evidence that it exists. we got climate change, which must be good news for the taliban, because according to "newsweek," the taliban is now vowing to fight global warming, which, you know, i don't doubt. everybody agrees one because of climate change is overpopulation and you can argue no one has done more to bring the number of people on this planet down than the taliban, at the rate they kill people, carbon emissions won't be a problem in a couple of months. but that's the thing with joe's pressers. does he ever have a real answer? to see just play with his wheel of excuses? >> this is how we get ready for a press conference. here we go. you have to ask jen psaki. she's good. she's good. look, i inherited this thing, all right? no, no. people are wearing their masks.
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that was like four or five days ago. come on, man! ask that again but just change the words. just walk away. that's me. i've got to just walk away. here we go. just sort of walk away. [scattered applause] >> greg: here's the weirdest thing. how does everyone else know the right thing to do except the people in charge? i get it, there is no such thing as a clean solution, but the execution began with a plot premise, it's the prison of two ideas, we stay forever or we get out. sounds a lot like marriage. but you could have redefined the mission the way football coach makes adjustments at halftime or in this case, late in the fourth quarter. you could have left the place in the right order, american citizens first, allies and troops. seriously, how can we call the taliban backward when everything we did was backward?
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you could have blown up all the stuff so we didn't build them a new army free of cost buried i believe that's on page two on how to win award for dummies. so why is this so easy for a chuckle bucket like me to come up with? a chuckle bucket still drunk on cat's hannah ties her -- hand sanitizer. maybe it's just harder for joe. joe eft it up just like obama and osama said he would, like he's aft up everything. the likelihood there's going to be the taliban overrunning everything and overrunning the country is highly unlikely? joe biden doesn't remember saying that. there's -- it's that we elected someone who couldn't preside over the changing of his socks much less the changing of a government. fifth-graders could beat him in a game of risk, but we can't blame him, he never hid his incompetence. he's the epitome of the inside the beltway sponge soaking up all the perks. he was more for sale and tvs before the super bowl. the blame goes to the media who
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papered over his bottomless incoherence, who pretended there was nothing weird about a candidate who barely campaigned from his basement, who buried the hunter biden laptop story, who portrayed trump as the real unstable end. this from deep state geniuses from or write less often than a college football player on his s.a.t.s. you know, i'm not sure if i could even blame the afghan president for screaming, lacking faith inviting versus knowing what the taliban will do to you, what's your choice? i was with the biggest bonehead move of all is thinking the government could hold off the taliban for months. i mean, why fight when the guy backing you has less job security than the incoming host of jeopardy? how did they miss that when it was as obvious as the wake on brian kilmeade's head? so it comes down to one word, accountability. we need to account for the corruption as well as the incompetence. we need to ask how they came to this strategy. was it based on the memo rather than on men? was it based on consensus rather than reality? whose opinions mattered most and
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why? who scoffed at a rapid taliban takeover? maybe none of them scoffed at it and they were lying to us all along. so now we've abandoned thousands of allies. something i couldn't see trump doing. oddly, being america first often has the secondary effect of helping those who help us. that's right, media, the guy you called hitler for four years had more compassion than any of your dumb ideas over the last decade. so instead we went from america first to biden's are america's worst. it's no build back better, just more accurate. [scattered applause] >> let's welcome tonight's guest! cohost kayleigh mcenany! she is such a strong anchor, we use them to dock my yacht on the weekend, fox business correspondent susan li! he's so handsome, other marines call him semper fine.
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fox news contributor johnny joey jones! finally, she's got the voice of an angel if that angel smoked a pack a day for 30 years. fox news contributor kat timpf! so i guess i should go to the veteran first, kat. >> i'm only half. >> greg: that's right. so, joey, how did we get this so wrong and can we fence this? i should ask you, you've been talking to a lot of people in the military, how do they feel about this? >> a lot of people i'm talking to are working to get people out of afghanistan, it may be president biden should, i don't know, take notes, give them a call. i've got some numbers, could give them a call. lower level officers and mid-level enlisted are working around the clock to get their interpreters and their interpreter families -- >> greg: are those pronouns? is not upon? >> my pronouns are hee and haw.
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last time i was on here i got backed onto the corner on the stuff. i'm not a cultural reporter here, okay? i'm beyond upset. i feel betrayed. you know, i tweeted -- the taliban broke my body but the united states government broke my heart on this, right? week sacrificed a lot, and that's okay. my sacrifice was justified that it happened because other people came home that day and lived, but we've got men and women serving right now and i couldn't imagine being there either on that flight line in kabul were sitting on a base somewhere here knowing you could be called up next, knowing that this is was going to have your back, but more importantly who isn't. and look, on the excuses part, this is the only president really that did not inherit this war. because even when george w. bush, you could say it's incompetence of the clinton, they could have squashed this thing to begin with and pretended to try. but joe biden was vice president. he helped preside over the
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disaster that was iraq. he opposed the troop surge, which was the second time we ran the taliban out of the country, just for obama to claim victory for 2012, not actually win the war. i know that well, i sacrificed a couple legs for that, you're welcome, obama. you know what i'm saying? i'll give that to you, bud, but at the end of the day, this guy was vice president for eight years of this war and you want to say you inherited a situation? like, come on, man. >> greg: you quoted him just there, come on, man. so there's two things i want to ask you. one is -- okay, so joey's question about inheriting something, they always say trump started this. but there is something going on there that's not being honest. and i just want to ask you, and i hate mind-reading and hypotheticals, but could you venture what might've been different if trump were reelected? how would he have done this differently? i know that's kind of hard to do. >> it's not hard to do. it's very easy. i spoke to him yesterday, he would never have had an accident
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like this. he said yesterday we managed to get afghanistan under control with 2,500 troops, it was a measured withdraw, bit by bit to where we had it secure. he came close to wanted to pull out our troops several times, but he listened to the generals. he listened to those around him and negotiated a conditions-based withdrawal. not only that, the taliban feared president trump. they looked at what happened to solo money. they looked at what happened with syria casting its own people. he took action. he's a man of action and now you have a buffoon as our commander in chief. he vacations in delaware, he doesn't take questions, he turns his back on the american people and he is a surrender or in chief. we have surrendered and the taliban is dictating united states foreign policy, the most powerful country on earth. this is pathetic and biden's director was possible. >> the new taliban. [scattered applause] >> greg: i think you were unfair to the taliban. susan. >> that's tough.
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that's pretty tough. >> greg: what about all the weapons, the billions of dollars -- was it billions? >> trillions. 2,000 lives that were lost over the last 20 years and against him. >> greg: oh corporation, working the business angle. because very good. >> greg: a shift in transfers. people would be fired. no one is resigning! >> the stock would go to zero. actually that was the case, so it's a loss, right? nerd to nerd, had to say the one good part of this whole story. >> greg: are you calling me a nerd? >> i'm calling the afghani robotics teams a nerd. i'm a nerd. i really feel bad for the women in afghanistan because these are women that actually had a taste of freedom and a taste of education for the last 20 years but how do you tell your daughters that have been promised a career in promised education that that's not going to happen anymore? you have a young daughter, right? >> yeah, joey has talked about life under the taliban. i cannot imagine. i cannot simply imagine.
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your child's life, not even their likelihood, their life. >> the new taliban. >> greg: how do you feel a but the new taliban? >> i think it's so interesting the way we are even having the discussion, like have they changed? i don't know, maybe they've changed, maybe this is the new taliban when we don't get that grace to let chris harrison from the bachelor. >> good point! >> he was fired forever, but we are like maybe the taliban has changed. at this -- you know, if we're doing things this way, the taliban has a better chance of having a cookware line at target then chrissy taken. >> greg: that is so true! that is so true. think about it yet, could actually host jeopardy. >> you don't want to give them pressure hooks. [scattered laughter. >> greg: only a bomb technician can make that joke! up next, lockdown madness that's abusive and [indiscernible].
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>> greg: organs mask mandates are useless at best. australia has got the whole place under house arrest. welcome to -- i'm your host, racquel welch. first up, oregon governor kate brown announced an outdoor statewide mandate regardless of vaccination status. >> masks have proven to be effective against transmission and are a necessary measure right now, even in some outdoor settings, to help us fight covid to protect one another. i want to stress, however, that this rule doesn't mean you have to wear a mask at all times outdoors.
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i know we are all tired of masking, but this simple act of kindness and compassion protects our communities and save lives. >> greg: so we are back to masking outside even though it is leap. there's no science. but maybe it's a trick to help antifa blend in. who knows. research shows the outdoor transmission rid of the virus is less than 1% and at the cdc exaggerated when they said it was around 10%. so ironically, saying they exaggerated by 1000% is actually not an exaggeration. [scattered laughter] meanwhile in australia, the birthplace of jazz, a man who left hotel quarantine to go to a bar has been sentenced to 14 days in jail. he didn't have covid but a judge that he put people at risk and that was enough for jail time, which will likely increase his chances of getting covid buried his lawyer thinks he can cut the sentence in half with good behavior, which in australia
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means grooming the judge's wallaby. finally, "the washington post" -- love that wallaby. reports that president biden has received an inconclusive intelligence report on covid's origins. this is the biggest foregone conclusion since titanic. i guess inconclusive means china hasn't admitted it yet. this is as trustworthy as someone selling viagra on a bus, don't ever buy it. these are probably the same people that already told her the lab leak there he was a conspiracy without even looking at it, proving once again it's easy to miss what you are looking for. so yeah, who knows what the hell is going to happen next, i wonder what the angry white male thinks of all this. ♪ ♪ >> you know, i'm no scientist, i'm a regular guy but i could never figure how that virus gathered from a cave to a penguin to a wet market at all over the world so fast.
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then again, i can't believe how fast that authoritarian lockdowns traveled from wuhan to the rest of the world. you know? communism sure is contagious. ♪ ♪ [scattered applause] >> greg: when a look at -- what -- what -- what unites australia and oregon besides having horrible leaders is that they don't -- date -- either are allergic to cost-benefit analysis or art terrified of it. they believe there must be zero risk, which is fundamentally impossible. >> look at you, sounding so smart and economic! wow! that's impressive. >> greg: no more [indiscernible]. we know the economy. >> like a cost-benefit analysis! >> yes! >> i was on exam, delta. >> greg: charging -- >> $200 more in health benefits because they say if you're going
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to be unvaccinated you're going to cost us $40,000 if you catch covid, so even delta -- they are not mandating the vaccine for their employees, but companies are finding smart ways to force this upon workers, right? it's either you have to pay more, in this case $200 more for your health insurance, or you're going to get fired. what are you going to do? >> greg: pay i guess. >> you think? >> greg: i don't know. the [indiscernible] so i have to be very careful. [scattered laughter] that's great. good move, delta. screw those unvaccinated people. >> and why did australia become the capital of jazz? >> greg: you didn't know about that? wallabies invented jazz. >> the albino wallabies? >> greg: i don't look at skin color! my goodness, what is her problem! okay, what is going on -- oregon is like if the united states were family, they are like the dumbest kid. they have antifa and they are telling everybody mask up. the disrespect their crops, what
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is going on over there? >> yeah, you would think they're governor is saint dr. anthony fauci or something, the kind of scientific rationale they are engaging in. i mean, this is nuts. when i was in the white house, there was dr. fauci, who would come in and say the most unscientific thing. then you had a common sense guy like dr. scott atlas from stanford coming in and saying why would you wear a mask if you're on a bicycle? why would you wear a mask if you are alone outside in a desert? why would you wear a mask alone in your car? that was i think a direct quote. that's what we call common sense and not dr. fauci finally admitting you don't need to wear a mask of cyber organs cover, leave it to her to buck the system and assigns. >> greg: i said this on "the five," but i will say it again. they are using our face to cover their ass. they want us to cover our faces to cover their asses. don't you agree? >> i do. although it's just so ironic they are like the land of defund the police, it's a crime for
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your face to be outside. i don't get it! but homeless people don't have to wear them outside, which i say game on. it like when i'm not about to be on tv or just got off tv, i look very homeless, so they would never know. the girl that walks into this building and before hair and makeup and the one that walks out, different people. >> greg: i've actually had security escort you out. i thought you were a crack head. >> different people! >> greg: i thought you were the crack at that lives outside my building. >> i'm not insulting myself, and wake up every morning looking like a very, very attractive young boy. they would never be able to tell. >> greg: at least you made about your looks. joey. in australia they imprisoned a guy because they just wanted to go get a drink and go to mcdonald's. here we are talking about the taliban we are watching this happen in western countries. >> listen, man, i've always respected the australians. one, they are attractive. they are big people, they are
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intimidating. i've trained with them, i've worked with them. they are not afraid to make fun of themselves. one time was in hawaii, ran into this australian lady at the bar and she's like i just love your accent, that's awesome. like yeah, and she's like -- she brought up brought up forrest gump and she's like -- she just thought everyone from the south talk like forrest gump. she didn't understand there was a problem there. so i say no, ma'am, that's just people from alabama. okay, got all night. i don't know. australia is its own country. don't bring that stuff here. i risked going to jail for 14 days to get in the chick-fil-a, much less going to the bar. don't test me. >> greg: the best beer you ever had, it would be so worth it. it's weird, man, the land on under. i was thought they were really rough. this is not going to end well. >> that's exactly -- the bush, right? there out there, crocodile dundee, big knife so they don't have guns in a more, another reason not to trust the government. >> greg: took their guns.
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♪ ♪ >> greg: he walked around with a semiand now he lost his emmy. earlier this week, andrew cuomo was stripped of the enemy and many felt never deserved. he won it for the category, best performance by a harasser who killed old people while drinking around with his brother on live tv. seems oddly specific to me but okay. actress cynthia nixon, who tried to beat him in the governor's race, salted his wounds with this high sodium tweet. "the difference between me and andrew cuomo, neither of us as governor but i still have my emmys." he just got served like a tennis ball at wimbledon, but leave it to an actor to make an insult
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also lets people know you have two emmys, when nixon ran against cuomo she called him famously vengeful and a bully. that's coming from someone who worked with sarah jessica parker. even nixon points out cuomo ruled by fear and intimidation, words i say were prescient if i knew what prescient means. but they say revenge is a dish best served cold although it's not like any of those women from "sex and the city" could cook. something a sexist would say. not me. i condemn that language. condemn it. all right, i think it's baloney that they took his emmy away. the emmys should live with their sin, right? you can't walk that back. >> bill cosby has four! how is that possible! bill keeps the emmy? >> to see still have them? >> greg: that's a good question. >> he does have them.
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>> according to social media user. why did he get it in the first place? more people died from covid than what he revealed and the guy got an emmy? because that's what he deserves that, he's an excellent actor. >> that is true. >> i don't think he deserves anything else because of, you know, what with all realized about him, except the emmy. because he had a lot of people thinking he really gives a [bleep] but he only cared about himself. that was a lot of briefings, a lot of time. he had a lot of people convinced that is acting. >> greg: here's the deal, susan. that any came after the nursing home staff, so they knew -- we were the only people that were actually talking about it and beasley janice dean bringing this to the forefront and yet they still gave him the emmys because of those daily newscast. you know what was? it was in anti-trump emmy. it was like give him the emmy because we don't like trump's
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daily briefings. >> briefings buried >> greg: thank you. >> but the international emmy award, what did he do that was so international? >> greg: he hit on women of all creeds and colors. >> that's good! that is good! >> greg: i don't member seeing an african-american being sexually harassed by him. he is -- he's racist! and sexist! >> was there an asian in that group? >> greg: there might not have been an asian buried him doubly racist. >> why don't they give the international emmy award to some of the fantastic reporting we are seeing from kabul, afghanistan? those in war zones? what about trey yingst? >> greg: or me! >> well... international -- okay. international man of mystery, may be. >> come thank you. you know, i was thinking here, i'm looking at you, joey, you are a veteran, a decorated marine. which character from "sex and the city" do you relate to the most?
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>> why didn't i get that question? >> i don't know anything about that show. i don't know anything about that show. but i will tell you this. with this whole emmy thing, what better way to remind people that you gave this idiot emmy than to make news taking it back, should have just let that one right. i'm sure thereupon have scumbags with emmys. let it ride. nobody cares, the world is burning down, who cares about an emmy, let us remind you how stupid we are. what does this when we are back to there is a cuomo on tv every day and us cuomo who doesn't have an emmy? are we back to that. >> greg: it's like deleting a tweet. people go why did they delete that tweet and then you go and they read all the tweets that you delete, that's why i never delete a tweet. also because it rhymes. i haven't watched cnn, can he report on anything no? it's like everything that touches a scandal he can't talk about. he just hangs out in the break room and throws things. that's what i would do.
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what "sex and the city" character do you most identify with? >> that's a good question. >> greg: you are prepared for this! >> i was not! >> did they call one of the guys like mr. dreamy or something with that? >> no, that's -- >> "grey's anatomy." >> that his grace. >> greg: ima miranda. i believe ima miranda. you're carrie bradshaw? >> probably. >> greg: there was a period of time where i watched four dvds of anthologies in a row and i don't want to say why. >> they really tell you a lot about it, should i watch it? i don't like cities. >> greg: i won't even ask kat because she has no memory of this. california's recall ballots went
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♪ ♪ >> greg: can they get accurate tallies from drunks passed out in allie's? california man, my favorite kind, was found passed out in the car with 300 unopened mail in ballots for the upcoming gubernatorial recall election buried police also found a loaded gun, more stolen mail, and drugs, leaving hunter biden to find another dealer. no doubt the postal service is curious, because mishandling your mail has always been their job. authorities are still figuring out how the ballots ended up in his car in the first place but it makes you wonder if the narrative of voter fraud is a lie, then please explain the 300 votes with one guy. speaking of that, tillie kristol says his gavin newsom yard signs were taken. oh, dear, god. but unless they were worth $950, not worth calling the cops. things to gavin newsom. see how that worked?
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out does all this thieving have gavin believing the lack of votes will be receiving? for more we go to our california crime correspondent joe mackey. with the latest? >> there's no point in being a crime reporter in california because every thing is basically legal now. that's why -- let me tell you about our nothing over and dollars and of summer [indiscernible]. we got bikes, we've got [indiscernible] check out this laptop i found. it's yours for 50 bones and i'll tell you what, if you're a fan of gavin newsom, i've got signs that say [indiscernible]. and those ballots, those have to go to legal voters, wink, wink, wink. one of my guys just found some hoverboards that fell [indiscernible], got to run. >> greg: so kat, this guy was passed out in a car with cash and drugs, is this one of your exes? >> potentially. the one that it would have been died.
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r.i.p. there was a ton of mail, right? so he was stealing mail and the math makes sense because you have to smoke a lot of it to sort through it all, like a lot of crate and barrel coupons, you've got to find the birthday cash. >> greg: writes, that is so true. going through the old greeting cards. >> almost be easier to just get a job. >> greg: no, don't ever do that. what are your thoughts? >> i mean, what kind of drugs where they? because it is just how you might have thought he had a bunch of publicist clearinghouse, just rang to win the sweepstakes kind of thing. otherwise this just sounds like a plot to a guy ritchie from, we sure this wasn't jason statham for preparing for high-voltage three or something? >> greg: we can't really talk about this, can we, because then we are part of the big lie. >> right, and i'm sure all 300 votes were for larry elder. no, apparently they were unopened, on tampered with, but how does a druggie get 300 ballots? this is absolutely insane! >> greg: you were telling me
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the green room that it's why didn't the guy -- >> that was a private conversation! >> greg: you said this guy sounds pretty hot. >> is that what i said? and how hot was he from 1 to 10? >> greg: you didn't give a number because were like -- you know. >> was he how to than you? >> [indiscernible]. >> hard to beat. what about the youtube wealth influencer in the california recall vote? you know he is suing cnn because they said that no democrat was in the race to replace gavin newsom? actually [indiscernible], that was pretty impressive. >> greg: we always get to the bottom of stories, right? i don't know what i'm saying. i'm just excited about this next story. up next, world-famous man from seattle facing an interesting legal battle.
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♪ ♪ >> greg: did he suffer childhood trauma posing naked for nirvana? did kurt cobain cause him lifelong pain? spencer won't say never mind over "never mind." he was the baby will appear on the cover of that album at 1991 iconic classic. now he is suing the band, accusing them of exportation. now 30 years old, he argues the
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band leveraged the nude photo to promote the music. he claims he suffered lifelong damages and that is legal guardians never signed a release consenting to the use of the image. more important, people need to know his penis is no longer that small buried is asking for at least 150 grand from each of the defendants. including the surviving member's of the band, kurt cobain's estate at a number of recording companies -- record companies who distribute of the album over the last three decades. of course before we discuss this album we should listen to a quick refresher of its biggest hit. >> [bad singing] [scattered laughter] >> greg: that song has not aged well, joey. you told me this is the only segment you prepared for. have at it. >> if this was the president, what happens when the gerber baby grows up to be vegan? or how about this, honey
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boo-boo, we are all on the hook for that [bleep] because i watch this every single day, i am super intrigued by that. we are all going to hell and paying money on that one. it's like come on -- 150 grand is not that much money, i hope they pay it out so we don't have to set this weird precedent. >> greg: susan, you are business mind -- >> the olsen twins though. should we feel guilty for that? for watching olsen twins? >> yeah, because i would have been a way, way better -- >> greg: the olsen twins, they were creepy. they were like little witchy warlocks. >> is that how you saw them? >> greg: big eyes looking at you all the time. there were like those little dolls that stare at you all the time. ever have those dolls as a kid? where am i right now? susan, answer the question. don't evade -- his parents took money for three -- 300 bucks, right? >> that's right. but also he capitalized this on the over -- >> greg: tell me he didn't get
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laid using this line at a bar. >> he admitted that he would go up and say you want to see my penis again? >> greg: really? >> and he reshot the photo three times are ready, he said i wants -- he wants a warm real one so you can see how it has changed out the years. >> you know, maybe it did kind of mess him up for life. >> greg: think about it, deaf... -- >> he got it on his chest! >> greg: did he really? >> yes! >> greg: [laughs] i'm glad you feel passionately about one story. but -- okay. won't the judge throw this out and say no, your parents made the call, not these people? >> i mean, look, he's seeking damages at an injunction but what good does an injunction to this part on the road? stop selling album that's already sold many copies? i was actually with the skin until he learned about these
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extenuating factors. i'm sorry, i was reading about afghanistan, not the nirvana baby all day. i feel bad for the guy. >> greg: there are a lot of decisions -- as a parent of nothing, i'm going to -- how many kids do you have? >> one. >> greg: okay, sorry. i don't have any but i'm going to tell you that parents have to make decisions for little babies because they can't make decisions themselves and if your baby can make you some money, i'm sure a hell to make that -- because i've seen that baby -- i got to change that baby's diapers, that baby is going to make me some money! >> when you change the diaper -- i change a diaper in a public place, shield her put a blanket. what parent puts their 4-year-old gentalia on the cover of an album? ironic, isn't it? because that album cover was meant to shade capitalism. >> greg: exactly! >> that guy is after it now. >> man laying naked in the hospital but for several weeks with a stranger watching in --
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walking and just to wipe my butt. i've got no sympathy for this dude. you were a baby, who cares? you were just -- i think it's kind of cool. he didn't drown. you know what i mean? what's the deal? >> greg: and susan, you make a really good point that, okay -- okay, number one, the cover itself is really a mundane statement on capitalism. you can hear them coming up with the idea. let's have a baby in a pool and we will dangle a dollar bill. let's make the baby naked! of course! and it's as subtle as a case of shingles. you've got baby chasing the dollar menu have -- >> greg: i had some subtle shingles. >> greg: you ever have shingles? >> i had like three spots on my back that were shingles! >> greg: you have everything. you are so lucky. the thing is -- where am i? they paid the parents and the album made zillions of dollars. everybody associated with that record, which is making an
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ironic statement about capitalism. it good for this guy then. it good for ensuing to make more money off of it. >> put a diaper on the baby, it could be the swimmers diaper you put on the baby before you put him in the ball. put the diaper on. >> greg: that sounds like a weird infection. [scattered laughter] >> i haven't had that one yet! >> greg: you don't want to get swimmer's diaper. it's worse than shingles. you can put it on a shingle, i have swimmers diapers. it burns, boy does it burn. what am i -- don't go away, we will be right back. [scattered applause] so you only pay for what you need. [ nautical horn blows ] i mean just because you look like someone else doesn't mean you eat off the floor, or yell at the vacuum, or need flea medication.
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oh, yeah. that's the spot. only pay for what you need. ♪ liberty, liberty, liberty, liberty ♪ heyyy! (steins breaking) your cousin. ♪ from boston. ♪ it means, “ok-to-beer-fest”. another sam octoberfest? nein. make it ten! i like this guy. (cheers)
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♪ ♪ life is full of surprises when you least expect it. (woman laughs) and open. what happened to all your things? i know you needed a place to study, so... and other times, it pays off knowing what to expect. at university of phoenix, you can count on fixed, affordable tuition from the moment you enroll to the day you graduate from your program. learn more about our tuition guarantee at phoenix.edu
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i'm not hungry! you're having one more bite! no! one more bite! ♪ kraft. for the win win.
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♪ ayy, ayy, ayy ♪ ♪ yeah, we fancy like applebee's on a date night ♪ ♪ got that bourbon street steak with the oreo shake ♪ ♪ get some whipped cream on the top too ♪ ♪ two straws, one check, girl, i got you ♪ ♪ bougie like natty in the styrofoam ♪ ♪ squeak-squeakin' in the truck bed all the way home ♪ ♪ some alabama-jamma, she my dixieland delight ♪ ♪ ayy, that's how we do, ♪ ♪ how we do, fancy like, oh ♪ >> greg: welcome back to our second segment on swimmers diaper. we are going to go the full hour. forget about shannon bream, it's going to be swimmers diaper from here on an. i joke. thank you, kayleigh mcenany, joey jones, susan li, kat timpf.
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our studio audience. "fox news @ night" with ivo shannon bream is next. i'm greg gutfeld. i love you, america. [applause] ♪ ♪ >> you will be in the new york area and would like free tickets to see "gutfeld!," go to foxnews.com and click on the link to join our studio audience. ♪ ♪ >> shannon: hello, and welcome to "fox news @ night." i'm shannon bream in washington. we've got breaking news out of afghanistan so let's start right there right now. a major shift in kabul tonight. the u.s. embassy in afghanistan telling u.s. citizens they are "do not travel to the airport" and those waiting at the gates o leave immediately. >> we are on the cusp of having the biggest mass hostage situation in

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