tv Gutfeld FOX News August 24, 2021 8:00pm-9:00pm PDT
a national sex symbol. >> laura: indeed. tune in tomorrow it. i have a huge interview. we have it all. the recall vote september 14th. everyone here in california vote yes on the recall. >> [cheers and applause]. >> ♪ ♪ >> [cheering]. >> greg: happy tuesday everyone. took me 3 days to write that line. when things get really bad what is the first thing the guilty party does? they argue over words. remember this blast from the past. >> it depends on what the meaning of the word is, is.
>> [laughing]. >> greg: is meant your wife is going to lose to trump in 20 years. he didn't see that one coming. there is a joke in there. you know you are in deep when you are litigating the definition of the word stranded. >> most of the criticism is not of leaving afghanistan, it's pulling the troops before getting the americans who are now stranded. >> i think it's irresponsible to say americans are stranded. they are not we are committed to bringing americans who want to come home, home. >> there are no americans stranded in afghanistan. >> i am calling you out for saying we stranded americans in afghanistan. >> greg: calling you out. like tom hanks wasn't really
stranded on the desert island. not desserted island. he was just vacationing with a ball he talked to. creepy and deviant. i am glad i didn't know this when gilligan's island was on tv. peter doocy left her stranded but she found her way out. i wonder if there are other words we are know using to her satisfaction. >> ♪ ♪ >> jen, you cut in front of me. >> no, i resent you saying. that i simply reschedule your time for the conditioner. -- copier. >> i know.
i hate her too. >> this coffee is too hot. >> first of all i think it's irresponsible for you to say that. the coffee is room temperature, just in the wrong room. >> ♪ ♪ >> oh, oh, hold that. >> [screaming]. >> [laughing]. >> jen, the elevator chopped by arm off. >> i will call you out for saying that. it's called sudden weight loss. congratulations. >> [laughing]. >> [applauding]. >> [cheering]. >> greg: i didn't see that escalating to that point. it seems like america is stranded in more ways than one. our military leaders told
president biden to make a decision on whether to extend the deadline. that's the correct order. first you give up control of the airport and then try to fly everyone home. that's as smart as putting on a helmet after you were shot out of a cannon which i think happened to joe. our leaders lost lives and billion dollars but at least the paper work is in order. the taliban has drawn a redline on a deadline. you know they mean. it's not an obama deadline in syria this he enforces as well as the covid rules at his birthday party. the taliban issuing orders to us it like pouring salt on the pound. like after being fired and security telling you can't tike your unicorn coffee mug with
you. that belongs to the company. the taliban got everything including the coffee mug. it you see all of the weapons they got? if this doesn't make them celebrate christmas, nothing well. you can't get a rifle. but notice the taliban is on equal footing with a middle school in chicago. some of that will be used against us later. as we watch this unfold, we should stop listening to our leader and listen to our troops more like this fellow here. >> the more stupid and naive americans are is a testament to what our war fighters are doing overseas. the more we take that fight to the enemy, the more stupid and naive we are on americans. the moment we are a woke nation that means somebody got in
through the wire and will wake this nation up. it's the american war fighter who is out there keeping our country safe and keeping america stupid. >> greg: that's a good point. the reason why so many of us were not thinking about afghanistan much is because i didn't have. to the work was done by brave fighters. to use an adage, we enjoy the sausage; we don't want to see how it's made. this shows up the sausage in reverse and it sucks. i take some responsibility. i got distracted by the life of nonstop attention grabbing entertainment. i lose myself in the bachelor there unfolded a mess based on decades of corruption. our media fuses over pronounce and now the most toxic males in
the on earth are locked and loaded on our dime. >> i want to understand white rage. i am white and i want to understand it. >> greg: good for you, but prioritize. where is kabul in all of this? >> if you want to have christmas toys for your children, this might be the time to start buying them because the delay may be many, many months. >> greg: what the hell is she doing? i guess talking about christmas makes sense arch what we just gave the taliban. never minds thousands of american lives at risk. your kids won't have the new game boy made in china. it think our media thought sarah palin wasn't a light weight.
kamala harris makes sarah palin look like a cross between margaret thatcher and another margaret thatcher. we can't be this stupid anymore. the least our inept leaders can do is not arm the enemy. you have to wonder why kamala harris would bring up christmas in august. maybe she knows in december she will be too busy being president. >> [cheers and applause]. >> yes! >> [applauding]. >> greg: this former criminal defense attorney "outnumbered" co-host emily compagno. she is like a gay bicycle. outspoken. >> [laughing]. >> greg: the worst intro, ever.
fox news contribute kat timpf and tyrus. good to see you emily compagno. this is a serious show. this is not like "outnumbered" where you can just show up and hang out. did you catch biden today? it was terrible, wasn't it? >> it was terrible. the worst thing i felt was not surprise. i didn't feel surprise he buried comments about afghanistan after a bunch of domestic policy comments and taxing the corporations and virtue signaling. americans care about afghanistan
now. his tone deafness and going back to jen psaki's commence about peter doocy calling it irresponsible to call it stranded. what is irresponsible is abandoning americans there, abandoning our allies on the ground there. no surrounding country will let americans have a presence let alone conduct operations there. the u.k. was blind sided. if we think we have allies that faded. the taliban has more blackhawks than 85% of the planet. in addition to 85 billion dollars worth of equipment. that means al-qaeda is about to have it along where the countless deaths on walk away joe's watch. this is against the back drop of the taliban saying if we stay
after august 31st, that's an extended occupation. >> he said meaner stuff about corporations than the taliban. >> greg: the number 1 terror threat is not the taliban. it's white guys like me. if i don't have enough fiber in the morning, i am an awful beast, kat. now that we are talking keep going. >> sure. that's how i have worked here so long. >> greg: what do you make of the obsession? when you talk about missed priorities about language itself. you can't use the word stranded. >> that's definitely stranded. i have used the word stranded in far less dire situations. >> reporter: what you have been stranded on? >> [laughing].
>> theubers keep cancelling and i can't find a cab, that's stranded. even if i am walking distance from home, what if it rains? stranded. it's not like i am a drama queen. she is really off. >> greg: really, really off. >> not me. >> greg: no you are fine. >> if you are isolated but there is a chance you could get out, then you are not stranded by whatever definition they want to use. they said we moved out tens of thousands of people. are they americans or afghans. if you are moving that many people out in a couple of days shows you had no plans.
it's horrifying. >> greg: it's still happening and hoping we get through this with as minimal pain and suffering -- what are you looking at, tucker, tyler? [laughing]. >> i am neither one. i can stare at him and make him uncomfortable. >> greg: it works. >> [laughing]. >> when you think about scapegoat joe and i hate to say that because i work hard to be respectful of our president. there is a big uptick and we are getting people out. do you know why? it wasn't the suits who have no idea what is going on. we have the greatest military in the universe and they got together to get people out. they won't do it by the numbers. that's what our men and women do. also now, thanks to this policy
we just invented thousands of hostages. afghans are no longer allowed to go to the airport because they need those scientists and doctors to operate the machines. we don't know how do this, but they do. we'll are seeing a new group of hostages. afghans can't go to the airport because they need their families to hold hostage to teach them to run the machines. job well done. sooner than later our own missiles will be coming our way because guys will try to save their families. i am not a general but it doesn't take much to add up. >> greg: almost everybody knows what to do, but the government. if you just look at them with
your argument, you must assume they thought all of this through, but they didn't. how is that possible? we know more than milley? was he too busy reading anti-racists tracks? >> i don't think it's on the georgias. they -- generals. they are not being heard. we have a woke administration. they think if you offer the taliban free tiktok they will let them go. >> greg: australia's lockdown.
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in the land down under. in australia even crocodile dunndee is a prison are in his own country. australia the birth place of crime. more than half of the 25 million people are in lockdown and unable to wrestle alligators. i said crocodiles. i don't think they have alligators in australia. >> they don't. >> greg: i apologize. the sydney lockdown is in the ninth week which should show that lockdowns don't work. there is 1 covid patient on the run. check out this report from 9 news. >> anthony knows he is covid positive when he steps into public already breaking so many rules. he doesn't bother to cover his mouth as he sneezes and slatters. the 27 years old is still
infectious but had gone missing from his apartment. a warrant now issued for his arrest. >> this 27-year-old chap has expressed the view he doesn't care whether he spreads the virus. one example of the worst of the worst. >> greg: australia's most snotty. that dude is the worst of the worst. should he stay home? of course. after 9 weeks of lockdown people are fed up. not everyone has a sweet baseman like chris cuomo. >> [laughing]. >> greg: here's more from that same report. >> there is little sympathy for anyone ignoring orders like these boys who were placeed in handcuffs and left to explain a $1,000 fine to mom.
>> greg: we don't have know when this will end. if you ask doctor flip flop it may not be as long as we thought. >> is 2022 a year from now and what does control look like? >> i have to apologize. when i listened to the tape i meant to say the spring of 2022. i misspoke. >> greg: who knows when it will end. not the guy who is supposed to tell tell end. he's been wrong so much, you would think he planned afghanistan. his opinions age like a bagged salad. i still think that's a good line. i don't care what you people think. we can hope for the best. the best and the brightest are on the case. >> [traffic noise]. >> you are visiting from
australia? >> yes, i am here on vacation with my wife. we had belongings stolen. >> your wife so you were know social distancing? >> we had sex. >> how many times. >> i am here to report a crime. >> the crime is your country. that's where why you are locked down am we watch cnn. we know all you australiains have covid. do you know liam? >> no, we don't all know each other in australia. >> if you talk like that you will end up living in a penilee colony. >> joe machi, i could sit in watch him and stick him in an aquarium.
>> greg: you could feed him ice. >> he would not ask to get out. >> he will keeps apologizing. what was your question? >> greg: when you listen to the local news report they act like this person is an escaped maniac. >> when you watch news from different cultures, they come off extremely smug. mum just got a 1 thousands fine. he didn't cover his nose. he is still trying to fix his hair. his entire hair say bald spot and trying to fix one side. he has problems and missing. he is the worst human being in the world. pedophiles and murderers. look at that guy. he needs to go. only in australia. >> he was wearing a bath robe
outside of the house. >> greg: who hasn't? >> my husband said i can't do that. >> greg: give it time. in a few months he will be walking to the store with one slipper. >> i have done that. >> greg: hair rollers. kat, 10 years from now will we look at that as delusional but a hysterical moment or is this the way it will be? >> i don't feel like this is enough universal push back. the teens were outside. i would love to go to australia and party with teens and now i can't. i get concerned. i would not be surpriseed to see that happening here. it's public shame. it wasn't actual fines.
the shaming. their mask was under their nose. people love that. they love to shame other people. but that doesn't make you a better person because you are sitting at home by yourself. >> greg: that footage. i am in disbelief we are at a place where they are doing a news segment on some guy out without a mask on. >> exactly. that's already here. that's coming here. we have cnn door stopping old women because they shared a fake news article on facebook. it's coming here. he wasn't headed to a pelosi fundraiser or going to obama's birthday. >> greg: emily, there had to be major demonstration.
they are having violence and arrests in australia. i thought australia, that's a rough country. i was there once. all they do is drink fosters and play with the kangaroos. >> i used to think that australia was like totally bad ass. now i feel like australia is insane. if they say the most concerning guy is that guy, what about the guy we talked about last year that beheaded his wife at a traffic stop. >> greg: but he was wearing a mask. >> yes, they tested negative. that group arrest, it looks like waco. all they were doing was sitting outside and drinking. the one cop put the handcuffs on a dean and he had his mask below his nose. they shot a bunch of rescue dogs
because that town had 1 covid case. this island the size of a planet is doing horrible things. >> greg: there is dark stuff going on. pediatric patients not being flown to other areas because of a crackdown and they lose their lives. babies. this is stuff i don't want to put in the show because it's so depressing. the risk-benefit logic is thrown out the window. up next democrats are annoyed, biden could leave them unemployed. oh. yeah, that's nice. can i use apple carplay to put some music on? sure, it's wireless. what's your buick's wi-fi password? it's buick envision. that's a really tight spot. i used to hate parallel parking. me too! the all-new buick envision. built around you. all of you. pay no interest for 72 months plus current eligible buick owners get $500 purchase allowance
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40 democrats and lawmakers joan as stupid jerk faces, i am an objective journalist. many of the president's allies fear he will lose the confidence of the moderate swing voters. the afghanistan mess and covid may have biden sliding down more poles than a greased up stripper. jake sullivan wants to change the narrative. that's all they care about. it's never about people. why not fire someone instead of trying to solve the problems your party created. a wise woman said politics is the art of preventing people from taking part in affairs that
cash them. -- concern them. do you know who that wise woman was? >> [inaudible]. >> greg: hmmm? >> whatever! [laughing]. >> greg: i thought i would throw the camera on you. you handled it very well. >> greg: it seems, emily compagno, democrats only do things if it affects them politically as opposed to affecting people's lives. even the vaccines, don't take the vaccines because that will help trump. when trump is gone take the vaccines. >> this is about perceived optics which is worse. here they for the wrong. of course democrats should be concerned. where is their outrage and any statements on par with their rage at law enforcement or
parents weighing in o their children's education or metal detectors in congress. they wero outraged kamala harris especially. right now her christmas comments. she said the status of women is the status of democracy. we will fight along side of all of you woman who don't have freedom? where is she in afghanistan? >> greg: where is the joe biden from the debate that called joe biden a racist. why aren't you helping these brown women. i love the phrase perceived optics.
they are perceived. >> a for effort. >> greg: b-minus. kat, isn't it a perfect time for a lot of democrats to lose their jobs anyway? >> yeah. >> [laughing]. >> greg: you are mailing it in today. >> yeah. i was going to say more stuff. >> greg: go for it. all of the people celebrating in the streets as soon as the election was called for biden. so excited without knowing how it was going to go. it's not going great. i remind myself, i was very excited to get married but i remember the documentaries where the wives of murderers were like after we got married, things changed. so far so good.
>> greg: have the authorities found him yet? >> no. >> greg: he went hiking again? >> he won't let me go in that one closet but i am sure there is a present in there. >> greg: [laughing]. tyrus? >> what is hilarious to me. it's not joe biden. you defunded the police and hand out free money and take away jobs. the only way you got in the white house is you didn't want an old white man but that's the only thing that america looked for. once the deal was done, the
progressives wanted to do their thing. they blame it all on no. >> greg: they should thank him. he was the only one that was going to beat trump. he was the nice guy. >> they got the nice guy and said here is our plan. what? i am not doing this. it's all his fault now. >> greg: any predictions? too soon for 2022? >> they will bring up covid obviously. dr. fauci leaked the confident information we will stay spring and of course goes in the fall. now we have the image from this administration. it's joe biden's back side walking away twice now.
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only want people who are vaccinated and safe to themselves and each other to go. it will stream, but most of the people who are not vaccinated are not interested in my movies anyway. >> greg: he knows the movie is bombing at the box office so he doesn't want people to go. any place for social distancing with a screening of this movie. this is like i meant to pull off when pee wee herman fell off a bike. he who is guilty for making excuses is hardly good at anything else. we go live to his lawyer. >> oh, god. >> [laughing].
>> greg: kat. tyrus, did sean penn grow up to be mr. hand? >> well, he is something. i used to admire him. i liked his brashness and could play so many characters. he was down in hurricane katrina trying to help people out. something happened. now he is a bitter, angry guy. don't come to my movie unless you are vaccinated. that's where he is at. he has to say those things because if he doesn't say. that we are not talking about it. one night at 4 a.m. i get a text can't sleep. check out this sean penn it's so bad. thanks, greg.
>> greg: it's like a vaccine against sean penn movies is quality. he plays a character based on the lead singer of the cure. did anybody see this movie? >> mystic river. >> no, that's when he killed people. >> greg: this is a mistake. don't talk about movies with emily. no, emily. your thoughts on sean penn? he is an actor. >> well, robin wright and madonna are the 2 best things about him. the problem was his second sentence he said people who are not vaccinated don't want to see my movies anyway. that broad brush thinking the assumption that people's positions about vaccines or questions about it, that it's automatically political. can't be connected to anything. that's why these hollywood elite are disgusting.
that smugness comes out: i know why you are not vaccinated. you have no idea. >> greg: that's true. it's as though he desires that phantom group. it was unnecessary. but he needs to have that group. those people don't want to see my movies. >> that's a great point. my content is not for this portion of the population. who are those people you? know those trump people. 78% of the black community and here in new york with the passport thing. you assume everyone knows who you are talking about. >> children. >> exactly. >> greg: it's interesting, kat, because he is saying he is advocating vaccines at almost like a peer pressure move. he was the rebel but he believes
it's peer pressure he is on the side of regardless of the efficacy of vaccines. he is operating on this -- >> i think he walked out of there thinking he said something real bad ass. get the vaccine or don't go to the theatre to see my movies. i did get the vaccine and i don't want to go see his movie or any movie. too much quiet time. >> greg: who goes to movies now. they are hard to sit through. even at home it's hard. >> theater is my nightmare. >> greg: thanks for your service. up next do hot dogs cut your life in half by an hour? is it dangerous to pee in the shower?
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a study games eating one hot dog takes 30 minutes off your life. researchers ranked foods by their health benefits and processed meats were among the worst. a doctor on tiktok says you should not pee in the shower because it creates a link in the brain with the sound of running water and having to go. that could lead to incontinence issues when you hear running water outside of the shower. let's see if this works. hmmm -- >> [running water]. >> [laughing]. >> [applauding]. >> greg: it works.
>> [laughing]. >> it's like a ride at disneyland. >> greg: it's. it is. you can choose the shower or hot dog? >> hot dog. we have a colleague at fox who loves hot dogs. i got 50 hot dogs sent to her and now i feel like an assassin. i will die too because i used to eat them raw. >> greg: i eat more pork than kermit the frog. >> oh, my god. >> jim henson just rolled over. tiktok doctor, that's up there like narcissistic empath. that was deep, doc. the sound of water makes you pee. you need to go to doctor school
for 12 years for that? every little brother in the planet does that when you have to pee. running water! no, thanks to tiktok doctors -- it makes me sick. >> greg: they should be called tick doctors. >> the hot dog. that's my other friday night activity. >> greg: i thought hot dogs was one of the few benefits in my life compared to the other things i do which are disgusting and depraved and picked up from you. >> the tiktok doctor is wrong because there is always running water in my bathroom. my cat's fountain is there and i don't pee in my pants. >> greg: that's science. >> i am a doctor. >> a [bleep] doctor.
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look for the ecolab science certified seal. we are out of time. our studio audience, you are awesome. i love you, america. [ applause ] hello and welcome to fox news that night. i'm shannon bream in washington. news is breaking by the minute. this is where we stand tonight. >> president biden declaring that he will keep the august 31 deadline for the us withdraw from afghanistan,. that brings a fresh wave of criticism. >> americans waiting five hours to hear from