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tv   Gutfeld  FOX News  August 20, 2021 8:00pm-9:00pm PDT

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tvs, we have been yelling at the internet, we have been yelling out radios, but you are not alone, we are in this together, things can become of course better, we are all in this, and i just want to say thank you for being with me tonight. that is all the time we have. thanks for liking this edition, special edition of "the ingraham angle." i am tammy bruce, admiral laura ingraham, nc my show, "get tammy bruce" on fox nation. i will see you next time. ♪ ♪ [applause] ♪ ♪ >> greg: happy friday, everyone! we are the new kings of late night. [applause] massive ratings, we destroyed everyone! everyone! every host. every news, they are gone. just me!
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but also, you, because you guys did it because you are the greatest fans, and you've got to check this thing out. there is a guy in the audience. look what he made. a guy named bart o. [applause] you don't have to clap for bart, only clap for me. but he built, he recreated this entire set using legos. he even got special legos because you need giant legos for him. and kat is a lego, which is approximately the same weight as she is. isn't that amazing? i don't think don lemon gets a lego set. [applause] i don't even know what that -- all right. to the monologue! so, campus reform has a new video out where the interview college women on systemic sexism. i wonder, does america oppress women? >> would you say that women are treated unfairly in the united states? >> yes, i would say so. >> yes. >> i have quit so many jobs
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because of the way i was treated at work. >> definitely. >> i definitely think there are a lot of institutional factors that play into that, especially when you think, like, unequal pay. >> we already have a lower pay wage come even if we are overly qualified for the position. >> there are still a lot of traditional, i guess you could say, like, perspectives, on what a woman should do and what a woman shouldn't do. >> yeah, there are definitely some unfair treatment in some aspects. >> would you say that women are oppressed here? >> yes. >> yeah. >> yeah, absolutely. but it is primarily come of course, there is the intersection of not just being a woman, but a woman of color or a poor woman or an immigrant. >> greg: so true. but i am not surprised by the answers. this is the college campus, where fresh brains go to die. but what happens when these women are told about actual oppressors? >> before the u.s. troops invaded afghanistan, the taliban was in control, and under the taliban, women weren't allowed
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to have a job, they weren't allowed to get an education, they weren't allowed to hold a position in government, they were being beaten and killed under that government. we drove them out, and since then, you know, would like for women in afghanistan improve greatly because of the u.s. presence. >> greg: so, how does that change their views? >> yeah, we have it better. we do. >> i think it does -- i mean, compared to what is happening in afghanistan, i mean, i do have more basic rights. >> oh, yeah, for sure, we still have it a lot better than many other women in other countries around the world. >> you know, obviously, in other areas, it is a lot worse, like with that situation, i know, obviously, there is not as much to complain about here than over there. >> do you think we have it pretty good here? [laughter] >> that contradicts what i say -- but it is the truth, though! [laughter]
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you have a very fair point. we do have it better here than we do in afghanistan. >> greg: i love that woman. because she admitted she was wrong in real time. somebody please send this clip to our vp, stat. that's if anyone can find her. so, these students were exposed to new facts and they change their minds. and i don't mean exposed in the way that got me kicked off campus. but we used to call this -- we used to call this learning, and it is great to see. fact is, not everyone on campus is dimwitted, it's just the faculty. sadly, the students only get a very narrow worldview fed to them by these unhappy professors. they don't want thinkers. they want parrots. and these parrots blame everything on the crackers. the creed boils down to this country socks, and if you are white, you suck, too. took a while.
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[applause] sorry. but it's an easy script to mimic, and many do it to keep the mob away and also get a good grade. so, anti-american hacks repurpose student brains for imagining everything as a power struggle, which puts their minds in the 24-hour a day fistfight between what they are being taught and what they are experiencing in real life. but when these students here the other side of things, it's nice to see the effects. if we are lucky, they might escape college with an education. but this national self loathing isn't something you find on the on campus. it's infiltrated every cranny, like so much water on brian stelter's morning bagel. [laughter] yeah. it's considered a requirement for our cultural conversation, except it's stupid and toxic, like drinking windex wild watching "the real housewives of new jersey." so you find it in movies, tv, and of course, sports. if you're someone who loves this country and you watch a netflix
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movie, and nbc sitcom, at stephen colbert, all in the same night, your spouse or the cops will find you the next morning with your head in the oven. and a suicide note that reads "i apologize for 400 years of oppression." but this america is no better and possibly worse, perspective might be the easiest way to pass yourself off as a caring intellect. when ironically it is inversely proportional to actual wisdom. almost everyone who claims women are routinely paid less than men are operating on outdated statistics about income and the word of choose to do. the oil rigs and boats await you, ladies. the stats always get debunked, you just never hear about it, like when famous female soccer goalie megan rapinoe claimed how women players were victims of wage discrimination. it was covered widely in the press. what wasn't covered as widely, the california federal court dismissing the claim after finding out the women's soccer team actually makes more than men on a cumulative and per game basis. the women's national team earned
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$24 million. men earned $18 million. if it were up to me, they would both be making minimum wage. that sport makes minimum wage looks like the last 5 minutes of "rocky." especially soccer players. hope solo, former goalie and my favorite "star wars" character, told a teammate rapinoe got them to support. it's like that person in the office that wears too much perfume or cologne, 5 minutes around them and you want to puke. imagine having someone like that in your place of work. [ringing] ♪ ♪ >> hey! why y'all standing here? >> just standing. >> standing for what, the patriarchy? you work with me, you take a
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knee. kneeled down, kneel down, turn your back. keep working. [laughter] ♪ ♪ hey, what the hell are you eating? >> old, this is great, local sandwich stop. >> we only eat a subway in this office. you want to smash the fash, but that in the trash. >> it's my first day of work might having a great time. >> who are you talking to? >> my mother. >> don't you mean birthing person? >> no, actually, i'm a doctor. >> adopt this. >> yeah, let me call you back. [laughter] [applause] >> greg: who knew kat had a brother. so, i miss the olympics. actually, i missed the olympics.
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but so did a lot of people. and why is that? same reason the nba's ratings are lower than the taliban's tolerance for string bikinis. give us more winners, wrapped in our flag. loving the red, white, and blue. you can keep the rapinoes wrapped in endorsement deals and resentment. it is a microcosm of the american administration, america is the land of hate and inequality. biden's abrasive local culture puts a stamp of approval on the grim conviction that america is eternally guilty of systemic racism, and so, how dare we pass judgment on medieval talents like the taliban? we are no better, right? when you look at attitudes around campus, you can see how we have a slapdash embarrassing retreat. we seek to punish fellow americans were thinking for themselves in place of individuality, where they woke mindlessness brought to you by our nations professors. the worst people on earth.
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not including the taliban, yet. [applause] let's welcome tonight's guests! she's got the top shelf opinions that we are too short to reach. fox news headlines 24/7 carley shimkus! he became a bank president just for a free checking former oklahoma state representative t.w. shannon! she's got a mind like a steel trap -- sharp, rusted, and filled with dead squirrels. fox news contributor, kat timpf! and he's like a deck of cards. he has four suits, and your grandmother would love to get her hands on him. "fox & friends" weekend host, will cain! [applause] oh, what an ugly panel we have. [laughter] thank god i'm a 10. so, will, are you -- my theory
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is that somehow, the wokism has replaced common sense, and that kind of contributed to our mess abroad. does that make sense, or am i stretching it? >> no, it makes perfect sense. first of all, here's one of my favorite thing about "watters' world," or "campus reform," it is like a wwe match, they come out, fireworks are flaring, certainty, confidence, and they know what they believe, and one rebuttal or one question, and it is over in 30 seconds. they fold and trouble like a house of cards, and you saw that in the video, and you did nail it exactly right, it is a cheat sheet, a shortcut to enlightenment to always point to oppression, and they have all the cheat sheet lingo in hand. you heard them in that clip. institutional or intersectional. if you use all the right buzz words, you can pass yourself off as enlightened. unless somebody asks you a question. >> greg: yeah, and it all goes away. tw, welcome back to the show.
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>> thank you. >> greg: my sweater. >> mister rogers called and he wanted it back. >> greg: i digress. when general milley was at that -- what was that, hearing, said he wanted to get at the root of white rage, you kind of realized that maybe winning wars and keeping america safe was not really the priority. >> first of all, my name is tw, and my personal pronoun is cracker. [laughter] no, really, this idea that the president of the united states would stand and tell people that the greatest threat to america's white supremacy, i mean, it almost is shocking, but absolutely -- after you think about it, it really is not shocking, right, because they have continued to press this lie that every single minority in this country is somehow oppressed by america. this is not the home of systemic racism, this is the home of systemic opportunity, and i think more people --
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[applause] and here's my answer, you know, into immigration at some point, i've got a foolproof plan for fixing immigration, you take obama, you take michelle, you take oprah, you take all of them and take them to the southern border and let them explain how awful a place this is so people will stop wanting to come, because the reality is, if it was as bad as they say it is, you wouldn't have people clinging to airplanes trying to get here. >> greg: yeah, it is true. people are basically supporting america with their feet by running in one direction toward it. if we were so awful, carley, they would be running away. >> yeah, and i have been reading a lot of individual stories of what women are going through right now in afghanistan, you know, the beatings in the streets are already happening. women are throwing their babies over fences. it's hard not to put yourself in their shoes and think, why not me? like, why am i so happy to have this life?
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by the grace of god, we win the lottery just by being americans, and it is not just afghanistan, it is north korea, it is cuba, which is unfortunately out of the news. >> greg: yeah. >> the kids in that video, they have been taught to feel oppressed and it is cool to be the victim, and some of them will grow out of it, some of them won't come up with a one woman that i do want to talk about, american woman, is our vice president. young women of color around the world were supposed to look up to her, and i can't stop thinking about what the young women of color in afghanistan would be thinking right now if they knew that she could say something for them, speak up for them, and she is choosing not to. she and president biden came into the white house being the compassionate people, they were going to bring compassion back to the white house. there is nothing compassionate about what is going on right now. >> greg: as a self identified woman of color, i -- how dare you laugh. >> birthing person.
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>> self identified births identified birthing person of color. >> greg: yeah, yeah, you should see what i've birthed in the bathroom. kat? >> yes, greg? >> greg: well done and your recreation of megan rapinoe. >> thank you. you guys should all come over. you guys are great. you didn't say she was a goalie, she's not. >> greg: what is she? >> you can tell by those pictures they were showing up or out on the field. goalies don't do that, they are by the goal. >> greg: i cannot believe you're criticizing my sports acumen. >> well, i can, because listen, i think she has a point, because i have always found it empowering to say i have faced sexism, i have trauma from that, but for example, i'm a woman, you are a man, okay? you, you know, you make more money than i do, and that is not -- we have the same height. right? >> greg: true.
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>> i have to be generous, it cannot be that you have decades more experience, that this is your show and i am just a sidekick, or you have another successful show you are on, cannot be that. if i would say that, i would get so many retweets and i would be cool and i would get sponsorships. but i can't be that stupid. >> greg: yes, yes. [applause] all right, i think we should cut to break. i am so excited. do you know who is coming up? tucker carlson is going to join us. we have probably the best interview with tucker carlson ever, because, you know, i did it. the new king of late night! stick around. ♪ ♪ if you're 55 and up, t-mobile has plans built just for you. switch now and get 2 unlimited lines and 2 free smartphones. and now get netflix on us. it's all included with 2 lines for only $70 bucks! only at t-mobile. one, two! one, two, three! only pay for what you need!
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full prescription-strength? reduces inflammation? thank the gods. don't thank them too soon. kick pain in the aspercreme. ♪ ♪ >> greg: another star gets
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dumped for once supporting trump. actor larry david recently confronted lawyer alan dershowitz over his traumatized fear of happened in vineyard, an island still reeling from a birthday party super-spreader event. the story from "new york post," owned by our parent company cheese cheesecake factory. walked away from him, witnessed a verbal exchange, quite intense, and wrote it down because it was so bizarre. we are going to reenact it for you. i will be playing the part of dershowitz, as i often do at home. kat will be paying larry david, as she often does, and children's birthday parties. larry, we can still talk, larry? >> tucker: no, no, we really ca. i saw you. i saw you with your arm around pompeo, it's disgusting. >> greg: he is my former students. i greet all of my former students that way, i can't greet
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my former students? >> it's disgusting! your whole enclave, it's disgusting, your disgusting! >> greg: and seen. well done. [applause] i'm going to put that right up there with -- anyway, after that, david walked away and dershowitz took off his tee shirt to reveal another shirt that said "it's the constitution, stupid," which he says his wife bought him because so many people misunderstood his decision to defend trump peer dershowitz added that he had been friends with many years for david until he began working with trump. it brings to mind a quote by abraham lincoln, who said "do i not destroy my enemies when i make them of my friends?" it's a fair point unless you are dealing with actors. ♪ ♪ [laughter] you know, i think this is
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something that has happened, probably, to all of us here. maybe not you two, because -- but like, you must have, like, e someone comes up to you and said, what happened to you? isn't that great? what do you say? >> first of all, we should clarify for the audience, the script you just read was factual. that was not a bit, and that was an exchange as reported, which is comedic on its own. we need to say nothing more. and dershowitz ripping his shirt off like a superhero, like, this thing is amazing. greg, i spent years in what is called the mainstream media, i guess, even if it is sports media, espn, and yeah, it is disappointing. most of it takes place online because that is where everyone is brave. very rarely does it take place face-to-face like this did, but all of a sudden because i have a disagreement or different political idea than you, we can no longer be friends. >> greg: right. i actually don't mind losing
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those friends, but tw, it is often not my friends, it is their spouses, and they get -- it's kind of like when your mom tells you that you can't play with billy anymore because something happened. it's like the wife -- the wife tells her husband, "no, you can't play with greg anymore. trump likes him." or something like that. but it shows kind of this weird thing where the hard left his politics on an emotional, moral level, and therefore you are not just wrong, you are evil. >> that's exactly right, not only are you evil, but you have the leaders of the party telling their constituents to go out and harass them. you had maxine waters challenging people at a rally to go and find conservatives, and really, that is not what this country is about. listen, we have a lot of disagreements, and we should. we are a free country -- at least, we have been a free country, i hope we continue to be after the next election, but the reality is, when we come together and we settle our differences, we do it at the
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election box. it's over, you continue to campaign for your beliefs and your guy or your woman, but you don't make it personal, and that is what the left does. they do it all the time. unfortunately, now they are getting caught on camera doing it. now they are getting people reporting it because of social media, and it is a bad look. it is not a good look. >> greg: kat i think their emotional reaction as a replacement for the intelligence reaction. ever hear larry david talk politics, it is kind of nonsensical, but he has never -l as opposed to factual. you've been through this. >> yes. >> greg: many times. >> many times. >> greg: and you blame it on politics even though it is probably your personality. [laughter] >> well, that is the thing that is shocking, is it is not my personality. [laughter] that is a reason alone, the fact that i have a single friend is remarkable, i will acknowledge that. but, you know, when i saw this
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story, the first thing -- dershowitz has been in the news for some other stuff, i thought it was maybe because of that. nope, it's because he had a different opinion on a legal issue that was in favor of trump, and even though he voted for biden -- that he had anything, opinion that could've positively been about trump, that was too much. that is what i have gone through. i vote third party, i always have, so nothing has changed, but the same friends come all of a sudden, that was unacceptable to them. and i first made the mistake, when i got the question, what happened to you? what do you mean? now i don't, what happened to you? with it. [laughter] >> greg: i think when people do that, they are trying to figure out why you didn't make their decision to blend. why are you trying to stand out? how dare you stand up, because now you are undermining my own decision to be with everybody else. working at fox, carley, is an
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unpopular decision. have you ever noticed that? [laughter] >> honestly, i've never run into anything like this before -- >> greg: so tall! >> rise above it all. i was just thinking about what you just said, you hear what happened to carrie underwood? >> yes. >> she liked a a video that was against -- she liked a video on twitter against mask mandates, all it took, she was trending on twitter, people were criticizing her just because she liked a video. and the person who made that video said something like "how did there she liked something that they don't like." but the thing about this, liberals really think they should show conservatives when they yell at them in public or try and cancel them. trump wrote about hate all the way to the white house. one of the reasons he won in 2016 is because people finally felt like he gave them a voice that was uncancelable by the media.
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people like larry david, that is really where trump gets all of his power. >> greg: that's true. up next, tucker carlson stops by, and more leftovers to share, all of the jokes we didn't use this week. ♪ ♪ okay people. oh yeah. let us begin. people!!! less with the puns. more about the moms. they want healthy, affordable options. moms want to save that dough. hold onto that green. enough with the puns! land o'frost premium. fresh look. same great taste. tums vs. mozzarella stick when heartburn hits, fight back fast with tums chewy bites.
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♪ ♪ >> greg: millions of americans crave unvarnished opinions, like dracula, does his best work at night, and has not aged in 100 years. joining me now, author of "the long slide" and host of "tucker carlson tonight," "tucker carlson today," and tucker carlson two months from now, it's tucker carlson. [applause] >> tucker: greg gutfeld, ladies and gentlemen. >> greg: tucker, congrats on the new book. i just want to ask some personal questions. is it for you wear khakis to bed? >> tucker: no, but i hang them next to my bed. [laughter] i get three days per pair.
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>> greg: i remember when you are working at fox and friends beard i have a great story. your clothes were so dirty, you're khakis were filthy, but the best story was i was at a bar in midtown, 1:00 a.m., i walked out, and who is jogging at 1:00 a.m. in midtown but tucker carlson, and you are jogging in sweats, sweatshirt, and you are chewing gum while you are jogging. >> tucker: it's hard to smoke when you run. you know what i mean? >> greg: do you exercise in the middle of the night? >> tucker: well, i did when i had to host the show, yeah. i'm not a morning guy, so i would get up at three, then go bang out a run and go to work beard >> greg: that is incredible discipline to do that because the body is just not ready for it. i know this isn't meaningful to other people but for me, i love hearing people do wearied things in the middle the night, makes me feel like i am not comy
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weird. your book, you acknowledge one person. you acknowledge one person in your book, your publisher. why? >> tucker: jonathan karp is the head of simon & schuster. i was under contract to write this book when simon & schuster canceled josh hawley's book because they didn't like his politics and i felt kind of implicated in that because they were sending me money, so i called -- i called john karp, who runs the company, and i said, why did you do this? and he said essentially because we came under pressure from the democratic party so we did it come atites that i think that is disgusting, i think you are disgusting, and he said you still have to write the book, okay, i'm going to write about you, and i did come at i dedicated the book to him. watching the acknowledgment, an open-minded book editor interested in ideas, to just another corporate sensor whose job is to shut on any conversation that threatens the people in charge of such a depressing and bewildering thing to watch, i mean, john karp was
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never a genius to begin with, he is not inherently super impressive, he is a collector of merit badges, like so many people in charge, but i never thought that he would abet censorship, he is a book publisher! the whole point of book publishing is to keep open the exchange of ideas, right? i mean, that is what it is. and here he is censoring people? >> greg: a really stupid question, where is karp now? is he running something? like, running -- >> tucker: he runs simon & schuster. which publishes books. >> greg: i owe him a book. i think it is actually doing quite well. he's a great guy. i think i have a book due at the end of this year, but it's not going to happen, because i delivered another book early. this is like crazy. so, yeah, he's the guy -- yeah, he's the guy, you know what, tucker -- >> tucker: you want to text
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him. >> greg: okay, in the '90s, i was reading you, i was editing men's health, i was in mainstream publications, and you were this kind of amazing writer, writing all this great investigative reporting stuff, you had quite a name for yourself. it seems like so long ago, because you've become something so different. i think both of us are like that. we both are in this weird parallel world, and then we became extremely close, and we bought that bed and breakfast in vermont. [laughter] but we don't really talk much anymore. how has the media changed, in your mind, in the past 30 years? >> tucker: well, it's become intolerant of free thinking. i mean, when we joined it, you know, i grew up around it, i always wanted to do it because i had seen the life my dad lead, and it was a life surrounded by interesting people with cool ideas -- or bad ideas -- but ideas, and they were brave people who said what they thought and went and saw things that were interesting, so history happening, it was a great gig, i thought, and there are a lot of people in it who
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have those attitudes. none of whom i agreed with politically, but that didn't matter. there was this spirit of free inquiry and of courage, and the idea was we have the one job in america where you can say what you really think. we are journalists. that is our job to exercise the first amendment, and i look up one morning, going to cable television, and i look around, and we work for a family that has traditional views on the first amendment, they are in favor of it, but nobody else is in favor of it, and the next thing i know, i actually don't think i have changed very much. i have the same kind of attitudes i had 30 years ago, it's just that nobody else does. it's bizarre. it's so weird. >> greg: the weirdness is, right now, and i always play this as my flaw, the writers that i look up to now were writers i didn't look up to back when i was ideological, when i always looked at the other side, so whether -- i used to get in fights with glenn greenwald on
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"the huffington post," and it was just so silly and stupid, and it is so ironic that they are -- they were the best of the left, and now they are the best of the right, and it is not like they changed! is that weird? >> tucker: that's exactly right. and i think what happened was, all of the irrelevant issues kind of faded away. who cares? if they are coming for your right to speak freely, if it is becoming totalitarian, if you have to violate your own conscience to live here, if you have to take medicine you don't want or need at gunpoint to keep your job, what? i mean, that's a whole new level of coercion, so the issues have really changed, they have become fundamental, and what is left is the people who believe in fighting for the basics, and it turns out, you know, two of the best and the bravest happen to be on the left, both of whom i despised, you know, during the '90s, both of whom attacked me at great length. wrote a and 8,000 word essay of
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how i was evil. i don't care, actually, because all i care about is the bravery required to defend the bill of rights commended of his left to those guys, and more power to them. i subscribed to both of those guys on "abstract" and i'm proud to say that. >> greg: excellent writers, and last point because i have to roll, when you say "i don't care, the reason you don't care as if you are genuinely the happiest person in media, from what i can gather. that must drive your critics crazy because they get so angry by you and you are laughing. all the time. >> tucker: i wouldn't know. >> greg: that anybody. >> tucker: well, i wouldn't know what they think because i don't have a tv and i hate the internet, i try not to go on at. >> greg: there you go. >> tucker: it's just poison. i mean, why would you give people who are emotionally incompetent and motivated by malice control over your emotional state? >> greg: that is so true. >> tucker: i have no respect for them, i could care less what
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they say about me. my job is to be faithful to the people i love. there are a lot of those. and to be happy, and i am. >> greg: i think he is talking about me peter all right, tucker, the book is called "the long slide." you are obviously a great writer, and it's going to be my remaining summer reading, if i can remember how to read. thanks, tucker! [applause] >> tucker: great to see you, greg. >> greg: on the right up next, as the classic barrier make you happier? ♪ ♪ know when you've found your team? whether you're winning, or just doing your best. when you're on the lanes, they're right behind you. reunite with your team. go bowling.
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i'm so glad you're ok, sgt. houston. this is sam with usaa. do you see the tow truck? yes, thank you, that was fast. sgt. houston never expected this to happen. or that her grandpa's dog tags would be left behind. but that one call got her a tow and rental... ...paid her claim... ...and we even pulled a few strings. making it easy to make things right: that's what we're made for. usaa. what you're made of, we're made for. get a quote today. so what's going on? usaa. what you're made of, we're made for. [dog] i'm a talking dog. the other issue. [dog] oh...i'm scratching like crazy. you've got some allergic itch with skin inflammation. apoquel can work on that itch in as little as 4 hours, whether it's a new or chronic problem. and apoquel's treated over 9 million dogs. [dog] nice. and... the talking dog thing? is it bothering you? no... itching like a dog is bothering me. until dogs can speak for themselves, you have to. when allergic itch is a problem, ask for apoquel. apoquel is for the control of itch
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associated with allergic dermatitis and the control of atopic dermatitis in dogs. do not use apoquel in dogs less than 12 months old or those with serious infections. apoquel may increase the chances of developing serious infections and may cause existing parasitic skin infestations or pre-existing cancers to worsen. new neoplasias were observed in clinical studies and post-approval. most common side effects are vomiting and diarrhea. feeling better? [dog] i'm speechless. [dog] thanks for the apoquel. that's what friends are for. ask your veterinarian for apoquel. next to you, apoquel is a dog's best friend.
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water? why?! ahhhh! incoming! ahhhahh! i'm saved! water tastes like, water. so we fixed it. mio. >> greg: does that plastic barrier protect you or make things look scarier? we are in the middle of a deadly global pandemic that will last in perpetuity? cat, that means forever. as such plastic barriers have become ubiquitous.
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cat, that means they are everywhere. but how well do they really work? kat, work means to expend effort or be effective. turns out they are effective as joe biden is at evacuating a foreign airport. says "the new york times," the barriers can stop droplets ejected during cough and sneeze been splattering on others, but covid-19 spreads largely through unseen aerosol particles, which is exactly how dana perino moves around the office. meanwhile, police in hawaii busted a florida couple for essentially using fake backs cards from getting on the island. proving you can take the couple out of florida but not out of the police report. bid them aloha -- because aloha means hello and goodbye. carley, what do you think? >> i can't believe it was "the new york times" that wrote that report, speaking out against a coronavirus protection device. do you think they are going to get kicked off twitter? >> greg: i hope not.
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>> how dare they. >> greg: i know. >> the thing about the plastic barriers, for instance, you are sitting down at a restaurant and somebody is smoking next to you and there is a plastic barrier in between, are you still going to smell the smoke? yeah, so they don't work. >> greg: oh, god, because i thought when the plastic barriers were up, kat, that it protected people from my flatulence. >> that is also not true. [laughter] they do get boogers on them, but i hate to be a diva, but when i go out to eat, i prefer not to be next to a booger wall. >> greg: tw, what do you think? >> they are taking this hard approach against the sports couple that was trying to do the right thing and maybe got caught up with it. i wish they took that position with illegals coming across the southern border. medical tyranny is still
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tyranny, and that is exactly what the biden administration is trying to push on american people. we don't stand up, i'm afraid it's going -- >> greg: medical tyranny. >> they are going to throw the book at that couple. they are going to press the highest charges possible. that couple is going to wish, wish that they rioted on januar. because that -- you know how they are going after those -- >> greg: yeah yeah are. >> those people on january 6th, and that is going to be light, because has gotten everyone. >> she goes to jail, it's very pretty. >> greg: up next, we put some jokes on ice and now they are twice as nice. [applause] ♪ ♪ ing different. oh, we can help with that. okay, imagine this... your mover, rob, he's on the scene and needs a plan with a mobile hotspot. we cut to downtown,
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your sales rep lisa has to send some files, asap! so basically i can pick the right plan for each employee... yeah i should've just led with that... with at&t business... you can pick the best plan for each employee and only pay for the features they need. shingles? camera man: yeah, 1 out of 3 people get shingles in their lifetime. well that leaves 2 out of 3 people who don't. i don't know anybody who's had it. your uncle had shingles. you mean that nasty red rash? and donna next door had it for weeks. yeah, but there's nothing you can do about it. camera man: actually, shingles can be prevented. shingles can be whaaaat? camera man: prevented. you can get vaccinated. baby, call the doctor. camera man: hey! you can also get it from your pharmacist! 50 years or older? get vaccinated for shingles now.
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♪ ♪ >> greg: we cover lots of stories every week on this show and we sometimes write jokes about those stories. so many in fact we just don't have time to use them all, sometimes they suck. luckily, those jokes get a second chance right here in their own segment. time once again for... >> greg's leftovers! mmm. >> greg: leftovers, sometimes they are good and sometimes not so much, you never know until you try it.
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here we go. united airlines is telling passengers not to tape unruly passengers to their seats. most eye data just use handcuffs. crying babies can still be stowed in the overhead department. also printed the pentagon to tape the steps of air force one. united airlines sent a memo reminding passengers not -- in a show of solidarity, spirit air promised to restrain passengers using staplers. race baker and reality show washout launching a fan site promising photos of her feet, which are still sore when she marched to selma. proving that behind every great woman is a black woman. she said she is grateful for the fan support and couldn't have done it without affirmative action.
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meanwhile, only fans announced they are banning explicit content, especially anything promoting violence and lack of consent. in an unrelated story, andrew cuomo has deleted his paypal account. last week, msnbc host chuck todd -- now you see biden around the block, it means he has wandered away from his home care aide. [laughter] [applause] great, a president who has been around the block but can't find the door to the white house. and now joe's greatest strength isn't gnawing through a warm scoop of mint chocolate chip. joe has been around the block, all right. 50 years later, he still doesn't know if he is. on wednesday, joe biden referred to the kabul airport incident having four or five days ago. understandably, he was asleep the whole time
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i would have added flying airplanes into building, but what do i know? mayor de blasio plans to give violent offenders a grand a month. don't think of this as bribing gang bangers, think of it as guaranteed basic income for murderers. the tsa has extended the mass mandate for travelers through next january. the only exceptions for travelers entering the u.s. illegally through the southern border. the las vegas raiders will require vaccinations for home games this season. meanwhile, the new york jets will require their fans to bring barf bags. and since it's vegas, doctors also recommend a few shots of penicillin. study out of yale found people post expressive expressions of l outrage -- a yale study found people make extreme posts online just to get
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tons of likes and shares, so i'm enjoying all the retweets of my new -- a yale study found that women who told bad jokes were still judged less severely than men whose jokes bombed, which is good news for some of the most vulnerable citizens. [applause] i think i prove my point there. a recent fox news poll shows -- positive view of the socialism over capitalism. a whopping 78% of democratic voters said is capitalism? 100% hung up when they found out this poll was from pox news. although two weeks ago, they had a positive view of andrew cuomo. democratic socialist bernie sanders is trying to sell a $3.5 trillion budget bill to address wealth inequality. that is harder to sell that has $500,000 beach house. and finally, twitter says the taliban can stay on the platform if they obey the rules. in other words, the taliban officials can keep posting misogynistic and homophobic statements as long as they don't
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question the cdc's mask guidelines. [applause] don't go away. it will be right back. so you only pay for what you need. hot dog or... chicken? only pay for what you need. ♪ liberty. liberty. liberty. liberty. ♪ i don't just play someone brainy on tv - i'm an actual neuroscientist. and i love the science behind neuriva plus. unlike ordinary memory supplements, neuriva plus fuels six key indicators of brain performance. more brain performance? yes, please! neuriva. think bigger. (man) i've made progress with my mental health. so when i started having unintentional body movements called tardive dyskinesia... ... i ignored them. but when the movements in my hands and feet started throwing me off at work... i finally had to say, 'it's not ok.' it was time to talk to my doctor about austedo. she said that austedo helps reduce td movements in adults... ...while i continue with most of my mental health medications.
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(vo) austedo can cause depression, suicidal thoughts, or actions in patients with huntington's disease. pay close attention to and call your doctor if you become depressed, have sudden changes in mood, behaviors, feelings, or have suicidal thoughts. common side effects include inflammation of the nose and throat, insomnia and sleepiness. don't take austedo if you have liver problems, are taking reserpine, tetrabenazine, or valbenazine. austedo may cause irregular or fast heartbeat, restlessness, movements mimicking parkinson's disease, fever, stiff muscles, problems thinking, and sweating. (man) talk to your doctor about austedo... it's time to treat td. td is not ok. visit ♪ music playing. ♪ there's an america we build ♪ ♪ and one we explore one that's been paved and one that's forever wild but freedom means you don't have to choose just one adventure ♪ ♪ you get both. introducing the all-new 3-row
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>> greg: thanks to carley shimkus, t.w. shannon, kat timpf, will cain. "fox news @ night" with shannon bream is next. and greg gutfeld, and i love you, america! ♪ ♪ >> shannon: hello, and welcome to "fox news @ night," i'm shannon bream in new york. ♪ ♪ breaking tonight as dave breaks in kabul, brand-new distressing videos sent to fox news shows at the scene outside the airports as a crush of people, including children, try helplessly to get inside the safety, as shots are heard in the background and gas is deployed. also


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