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tv   Gutfeld  FOX News  August 10, 2021 8:00pm-9:00pm PDT

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the work is far from done and we all know why -- look. i understand -- look, we spent over a trillion dollars. look -- look, the lesson learned is being willing to talk and listen. >> laura: look, "gutfeld!" is next. >> i love new york and i love you, and everything i have ever done has been motivated by that love. given the circumstances, the best way i can help now is if i step aside and let government get back to governing. >> greg: we love you too, andrew. the pepper spray is just a precaution. [scattered applause] ♪ ♪
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>> greg: it's true, it's true, randy and he has gone to [indiscernible] but before we say goodbye to the dope who likes to grow, it's time for... >> it's the end of the world! >> greg: yes! the intergovernmental panel on climate change just released its latest report and you can guess, it's partly cloudy today with a 90% chance of armageddon. >> to be perfectly honest, what we learned today might just be the definition of helplessness. >> nobody is safe and it's getting worse faster. >> the signs are all there with fire is raging around the world in greece and turkey and in california. the climate is getting more hostile and today the u.n. said it is already too late to stop some of the devastating impacts of climate change.
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>> greg: wait a second here. what about code red? i was told there would be code red. >> the world is at the code red stage. >> it is a code red. >> code red is now. >> code red for humanity, the warning from a new climate report about more devastating floods and fires. >> greg: yes, they all got the same memo, these freaking sheep. at this point how can we take these dopes seriously? with been told time is up more often than andrew cuomo. they tell us every decade that we have one decade left. these people are more wrong then kilmeade's barber. look at that. as bjorn malmberg points out in "the new york post," there is sensible stuff in there, reconfirming that unlike the last 5 inches of kat's hair, global warming is real. but there's something mind-blowing that no one's talking about. climate change is saving wonders of thousands of lives. i repeat, climate change is
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saving hundreds of thousands of lives. did you hear that? i think it's john kerry's face melting. ♪ ♪ in fact, more people died from cold weather than hot weather. a new study reports that while a half million people die from heat per year -- bad -- roughly 4.5 million die from the cold, badder. more have officially died worldwide from covid, but global warming has reduced the intensity of extreme cold weather. temperatures have increased over the past two decades, that has caused an extra 160,000 heat deaths each year, but because global warming has also reduced cold waves, we now see 283,000 fewer cold deaths. i would say do the math, but i don't want to make kat cry on national tv. so i'll make it simple. look at this map, 283 minus 116, that's 167,000 lives saved each year. you hear that, greta to climate
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change is saving lives, not costing them, no wonder she is mad. if you think about it, jesse watters has saved thousands of lives just by the amount of hair spray he uses every day. maybe that's how he saved the world. but there's some other surprising news you won't hear from bill nye the science lie, for example, more co2 any atmosphere leads to a greening of the planet. one nasa study found that climate change added an area of green equivalent that is twice the size of the u.s. or one tyrus. to put it another way, every time joy behar burps the rain forest grows by 18%. you won't hear that on cnn, they are too busy blaming you for killing the earth or democracy itself. hell, let's see what they are covering right now. >> america, you need to start taking response to billy for climate? it's your fault the polarized caps are melting. >> and it's your fault i couldn't take my helicopter to malibu because it was raining.
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>> it's your fault that my son screams "don't leave me" every time the nanny drops him off at home. >> it's different when your fault that my wife left me for her tennis coach. >> i do not understand why more people don't want to watch this channel. >> greg: oftentimes the media apocalyptic was will try to scare you by targeting your pocketbook, meaning what will this cost you and prosperity. if due to climate change, the average earthling will only be 436% as well off in 2100 as they are now instead of 450%. that's it, who cares. the difference isn't even enough to pay for one solar panel, which is a bummer because by 2100 we will all be killed by homeless polar bears. except for me. in 2050 i'm planning on having my head placed in a vat of life-saving sustaining chemicals where i will continue to do the show forever. >> hey, everybody, it's greg gutfeld, it's 2050 and i'm living in a jar. this is amazing!
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no more showers or bathing or food, i just get to sit in this jar of fluid forever. join me. >> greg: and yet i'm still sexer forever even as we hear this good news -- you won't hear it anywhere else because the activist class needs to keep us in fear as a way to control us. it's the same plan wives have been using on husband's for years, which has the activists now see works great. they must be looking at covid and thinking why didn't we think of that? fear literally makes people ask the government to make them prisoners. if did you see how easy it was to shut down a country? unless it's barack obama's birthday of course. break out the bonk and let's party. [scattered applause] >> welcome tonight's guest! she is so patriotic she went to high school in flagstaff. editor and fox news contributor katie pavlich!
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[scattered applause. >> greg: to always call him newer of us, comedian joe mackie! she's like a home gym coming usually ignored in the corner on the floor, fox news contributor kat timpf! and his house is only accessible by beanstalk. [indiscernible] world television champion, tyrus! [scattered applause] >> greg: i'm going to go to first because generally you are anxiety-prone, you are nervous most of the time. how do you feel about this new report? are you worried? >> you know, greg, even for someone who's nervous like me, when you keep going to the well too many times, you keep saying: read or dire warning or apocalypse doom, it starts to sound like energy drinks to me. [scattered laughter] >> and i can't keep up a heightened state of readiness all the time, so i mean, it's
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just like -- it's just like covid, it's a serious thing, i think we should be looking into it and addressing it, but i just can't stay nervous all the time. i mean, i've got to be suave and cool at some point. >> greg: it's true though. didn't people in hr tell you you had to wear a jacket for the job interview? >> greg, i like to switch things up, i like to keep them guessing and i think this style is going to catch on. >> with stepdad's across the country, yes. >> greg: [cackles] >> stepped as her cool. >> stepped as a great. >> greg: they are great. >> manager at home depot? >> home depot was also great. >> a guidance counselor. >> at a church buried >> greg: tyrus, how do you feel about my head being in a jar >> i'd love to kick it. but seriously, folks, aside from
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having a child read talking points to scare the world, at some point we got to start telling the truth. this planet has been changing forever. anyone who grew up in california and went to the mountains and dug around for a while would find a fossil of a fish, which means that one time it was under water comes over time, things change. i'm sure there was a drought, there was some weather and the ocean went back or whatever. the problem with the world today, and if you check out sir david attenborough special is there's too many people and we are so overpopulated and of course we all love our chicken nuggets and our hamburgers, so our food source is the most abundant animal life on this planet. there's only 33% of wild left, so there's nowhere to go. there's no way to change. it's just the fact there's too many of us, so the only solution is with got to draw straws, you've got to cut on the human population, which nobody wants to do because evolution is going to happen. it's going to heat up, it's going to get cold.
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united states does a phenomenal job compared to other -- not enclosed. india, china, russia, they don't care. the way it's going we are all going to be eating jellyfish and squid because that's all that's left because we've depleted everything. you want better weather, you want nicer things? you've got to get rid of a quarter of the planet population, but don't worry, mother nature has a way of doing that. so it's going to happen. they can cry about it -- >> greg: we are going to mars. >> i'm still good here. i've got a shotgun and i'm a foot taller than anyone else. >> greg: i'm going to mars in my jar, katie. i have a feeling, katie, that the climate change activists feel like the bridesmaid here. they were going to be the one and then covid just kind of snuck right in and stole the groom. >> stole the fear panic away from the green activists. i don't think that -- i think the only living thing on mars that could survive is your head in a jar. that's the only thing buried and looking at, you know -- look, the ice age, there were a lot of animals in the ice age that aren't around today. the woolly mammoth, the saber-tooth tiger.
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the bear, and if humans can't adapt, and maybe we just deserve to go. ab it's time, but it's just over for us and if we can't adapt and that's just the way of life. >> greg: we had a good run. but i don't think i want anymore of me on this planet. i think i should be the last one, right? go out with a bang. >> i need to fact-check your model of quickly. all of my hair is real, i didn't grow it all myself. a lot of it someone else grew, cut it, sold it and then i bought it. >> so it's yours. >> greg: how was that not appropriation? >> it's capitalism and it's launched my career, so thank you and i brought you a christmas card if i knew you who you were. >> greg: you home adopted children going try to find a birth parents? anyone that sold her try to find you? >> no, but if this is your hair, thank you and reach out anytime. you make me look 100 times more attractive than i do when i wake up in the morning.
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but look, all of these doom and gloom, they are based on scenarios that are super unlikely to happen. i did acknowledges that. if you look at the whole study. this would be based -- the worst case and there would be based on if we were emitting five times more carbon than we are now even though it's actually going down, it peaked in 2013. that would be like report saying look i'm everyone is going to get hit by a bus, if you dress up like part of the freeway and lay on it at night. why are people freaking out about this? i do believe that what you put in the environment obviously is going to affect it, that makes sense but these people who are the climate activists constantly over blowing these things based on crazy scenarios that are unlikely to happen. they really only hurt their own sides because people stop listening. >> greg: that is true, as i did while you were talking. i'm joking. she can handle it, her and her fake hair! >> it's real hair that someone else grew and sold and i bought to look more attractive. >> greg: all right, you hair
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♪ ♪ >> greg: he will bid a do. governor grab that backside will step aside. he loved to harass, now he's out on his ass. he turned albany into maulbany. cuomo is unemployed so let's enjoy the schadenfreude. surely by now you've heard the news, couldn't keep his lips off of anything, and i mean anything, has resigned, effective in 14 days. before he made the announcement he took a trip down memory lane. >> i thought a hug and putting
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my arm around a staff person while taking a picture was friendly, but she found it to be to forward. i kissed a woman on the cheek at a wedding and i thought i was being nice, but she felt that it was too aggressive. i said on national tv to a doctor wearing ppe and giving me a covid nasal swab, you make that gown look good. >> greg: wow. it's impressive that he held on this long. like all that groping must have built up his grip strength. he reminded me of a contestant on those touch the car contests, the last person out of 20 or 30 last touching a brand-new car wins it. he just assumed he was going to out left all the other bozos. it worked so far for his brother, but he was wrong. turns out he touched too many cars, if by cars human women. the lesson here, sexual harassment is bad. in fact, these days, it's worse than contribute into the deaths of thousands of elderly in nursing homes, especially if a few other democratic governors
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have the same policy, but what a difference a year makes, says the media. remember it's not us, you put on the pedestal. we all know he was a great, we didn't build him up so he could tumble. that's on cnn, the view, and late-night tv shows who created a myth out of the monster. they try to make a beast look good, like a sports coat they put on frankenstein's monster. except instead of bigfoot, the monster has happy hands. >> you see a spectacular political leader emerging from this in andrew cuomo. >> governor cuomo, who as politicians go is the most sophisticated communicators. >> how would you contrast cuomo and president trump handling of the crisis? >> truth versus [indiscernible]. >> governor cuomo is i think one of the heroes on the front lines. >> i think the governor cuomo was just right on in all of the efforts that we took early on. >> trevor, you call yourself a cuomo-sexual.
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and i agree with you, i feel like i am too. >> greg: that's going to live for a long time. this is important because the new narrative will be the rise and fall of inter, as if it's a self-inflicted wound, but it's just not that way with the press who created a monster, whose flaws became that much more obvious the more they blew him up. they made him king while everyone else all right through it and now they're trying to change the story so they aren't culpable. but one person was onto this guy's gripped from day one and she is forecasting sunnier skies with a chance of i told you so. joining us with a glass of tequila and party favors, fox news senior meteorologist janet dean. [scattered applause] i'm not supposed to be drinking because i'm on meds, but i will take a step in your honor. well done. did you think it would happen as quickly? >> you know what? i have to say that today i
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thought he was going to blame everyone else like he did with the nursing homes, blame god and mother nature in "the new york times" -- "the new york post," rather, because we all know "the new york times" didn't report fairly on it. also fox news and president trump, he blamed everyone except the guy that signed the order for 46 days to put infected patients into nursing homes, governor anja cuomo, so when he all of a sudden started saying i want to do something for new york -- new yorkers are new york tough and i don't want to have to let everyone go through an impeachment, i resign. i was surprised. i was surprised. >> greg: what was the response from his office? was it a tweet? what did they say to you that kind of like insulted you at the start of this? >> right. it was a column i think in the daily mail where they got rich as a party, which is one of his, you know, top -- i call them the troll, the troll dogs who said she is not a reliable source in
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anything except the weather. i think i forecast of some pretty good and it was a long-range forecast. [scattered applause] >> greg: of got one more question for you before we go. i know you're going to be on "hannity" and i'm going to be watching. what would you tell cuomo if you saw him right now? >> i don't ever want to see his -- i actually would like to see him in handcuffs before i see him in person, how about that? >> greg: there you go. thank you, janice, congratulations, you are one tough broad! a hero! >> love you guys! >> greg: see you later, see you soon. >> thank you! >> greg: all right, katie, what about this covid nursing home stuff? are the actually going to follow through with that when there are politicians involved? >> there are some democrats and the new york state legislature who say that they want to but have a feeling that they will not and i think that the resignation today was more about protecting the democratic party
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then it was about, you know, saying i'm sorry for sexually harassing 11 of these women with the report and i let everybody down based on what he said and the reason i think that is because the democrats in new york didn't have to impeach them, they get to walk away from that, he gets to go and move on with his $5 million that he got with his book deal and then president biden didn't have to have to ask doj to launch a civil rights investigation and they already got rid of the civil rights investigation into nursing homes and it's easier for democrats now because a democratic governor in new jersey, democrat governor in michigan. other democrats around the country also signed similar orders in the democratic party doesn't want this big investigation of the party as a whole on the state level of the covid -- and more serious, people died, so it's not that this doesn't matter, i'm just cynical about the intentions here. >> greg: kat, what are your thoughts? >> i was just thinking about how a few months ago when he had the rings out -- >> greg: yes.
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>> he wasn't even wearing a bra. you could see the rings during a press conference and i defended that, i said i don't want to kink shame. all of our viewers who have rings, i stand with you. i stand by that. what i did not know was that his ring display was actually the least offensive thing about him by far, which is rare to say about someone with nipple rings. >> greg: exactly buried >> usually, you know -- >> greg: nipple rings can often be a cry for help, especially when you pull on them. tyrus. >> feel free to piggyback off of my point! >> you know i can't piggyback. your little legs would just -- -- >> murder. >> i think it's funny when we see mainstream media, they appoint these heroes. cnn's record is getting pretty bad. you've got the michael avenatti
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hero. he was robbing handicapped kids and then you've got cuomo who is giving the iceman a run for money is a serial killer with old folks, but the most important thing for us all to remember is his only crime is that he loves too much. >> greg: yeah. >> he's actually the second man with nipple rings to lie to me. >> greg: why do you keep -- well. it wasn't alive >> it's just amazing to me that he -- even with the investigation, because we all know you must respect the investigation. the investigation is everything in the investigation didn't say he did it six times or four times, which is still bad. >> greg: he did 11. >> he scored 100% on an investigation. that's not in. he failed miserably, he resigned. what does he need two weeks for? he's divorced, none of the kids live in the mansion, he should
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be able to leave in a half-hour. >> greg: you have to plan a going away party. >> i wouldn't put it past him or he has a change of heart and the outcry from brokenhearted supporters everywhere say stay in there and fight. >> greg: my thought, he should run for new york mayor. yes. joe, what could you be thinking? >> allots going through my head right now. first off, i thought that line about the frankenstein monster wearing the jacket deserved a little more, to be quite honest. a >> greg: i agree! because if you remember frankenstein, why is he wearing a sport coat? >> he was the first hipster with a sports coat, the bad haircut -- >> greg: it was a collared shirt! >> how dare you both buried frankenstein was 6'10", he didn't have much choice in clothes that day, it was like jacket or cow hide. >> that's a good point. i'm a little leery about a politician says something is going to end in two weeks.
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the other thing that it made me think is i think new york probably mrs. eliot spitzer at this point. all that guy did was sleep with prostitutes and that looks pretty good to me. of having a governor -- >> you've got no [indiscernible]. >> that's going to be taken out of context. >> greg: some guidance counselor you are buried him have you considered it? why are you wearing a jacket? anyway. up next, a member of "the squad" danced at a wedding for getting a virus you might be spreading. lucia. who announces her intentions even if no one's there. and sgt moore. who leaves room for her room. with usaa safepilot, when you drive safe...
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and humira helps people achieve remission that can last, so you can experience few or no symptoms. humira can lower your ability to fight infections. serious and sometimes fatal infections, including tuberculosis, and cancers, including lymphoma, have happened, as have blood, liver, and nervous system problems, serious allergic reactions, and new or worsening heart failure. tell your doctor if you've been to areas where certain fungal infections are common and if you've had tb, hepatitis b, are prone to infections, or have flu-like symptoms or sores. don't start humira if you have an infection. be there for you and them. ask your gastroenterologist about humira. with humira, remission is possible. >> greg: it's a psa guaranteed to drive you away, and she wants you trapped inside while she does the electric slide. so who's that dancing machine, you ask?
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the one who refused to wear a mask? it's squad member rashida tlaib cutting loose had an indoor wedding over the weekend. i wasn't invited, but did she know that in wayne county where the nuptials took place, masks overcommitted by the cdc regardless of vaccination status? it doesn't matter. leftists support all the right causes, so there's no way they can spread covid. which is why [indiscernible] on rules for you -- this tiktok influencer partnered with jen psaki to promote the vaccine. >> i book to a nail apartment. >> i didn't tell you to do that. >> it's called initiative. >> would come a long way in our fight against this virus. we need to get shots in the arm of every single american. i'm heading to a haircut. >> greg: that's what i call an inspiring video. it's inspired russia and china to move their invasion of america ahead to next week.
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you know what, tyrus? if we don't like that video, then the narrative will be that we are like somehow insensitive or out of the loop or bigots because, you know, this person is unique. no, we actually just like enjoyable people, persuadable people. >> i'll just be a bigot on this one. >> greg: [cackles] >> i don't think you're talented, just because you are on tiktok, doesn't mean you're talented. i've seen some bad skits, haven't we, kat, when he wrote them, but that was bad. i'm saying it. it was bad. nothing funny about it. >> i would go roller-skating with him. >> why? >> i don't know, i just feel compelled to do so. >> the dancing, "the squad" -- we got to stop calling them "the squad." stop giving them this clout. they're just individuals who take care of a small area they are never in office to vote, so
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eventually, hopefully the people's lives in their district will get it together and get them out of there. but they are hypocrites, didn't really understand the job when they got in, that's clear, because they say one thing and they do another -- or maybe they do, maybe that's the politicians way, but at some point we just have to say you're a liar and whenever she wants to get on the pulpit and speak, and that goes for anybody who doesn't practice what they preach, just don't listen to them, change the channel. she clearly is not concerned about covid at all but if it helps her get money in her campaign or some of her buddies start these programs and all these little democratic issues to keep us all walked inside and make a little money on the side, then she's all for it. it's hilarious to me, the left makes monsters on the right, but the real monsters are on the left. >> yeah. [scattered applause] >> greg: kat, when you look at rashida tlaib enjoying her maskless wedding, it must bring back terrible memories of your recent wedding.
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i hate to bring it up, but you look at this and you go why can't i have that much fun? >> oh. how dare you say that. today is 101 days of marriage. 101! >> hold on. >> and you know what else? it's my husband's birthday, which means it's my half of my birthday. since we got married, that's how it works. >> kat complied with all the rules, she broke friends hearts, people couldn't come to see her marriage because she followed the rules. >> i had 30 people at my wedding. i had 30 people at my wedding. >> out of 30,000 people. >> that is true. i like interesting people. but you know what? i feel like politicians, they really just -- they forget that there supposed to work for us. i mean, we pay them -- we pay them, and i don't want -- i have no problem with her dancing around in a maskless pack wedding, go ahead, have fun, do you. but i do have a problem with you having a huge problem with other
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people doing it. it's not that hard to understand. it's not that hard to understand -- what they would say, willfully obtuse. >> greg: i want to talk about the tiktok video with you because you are a huge hit with the teens. they love you. you have a massive following wherever you go, you are mauled at the mall. was this a great idea to have a young, obnoxious, vacuous tiktoker other people -- who is he trying to persuade to get the vaccine? apparently people that are young. >> i guess 12-year-olds that aren't necessarily able to get it at this point. i thought the sketch -- a kind of left me on a happy note because apparently the white house's sketch budget is the same as "gutfeld!." [scattered applause. >> very brave! very brave, joe. >> greg: you're done. you know i have a backup joe. i'm not even sure which one is the backup joe. you might be the backup joe,
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joe. >> he's got better shirts than i do. but i just want the same rights as a democrat politician, that's all i want. it seems like they can do whatever they want, but i have to think if asa hutchinson was dancing at a party, they'd be making a big deal about that, but no one seems to care. >> greg: it yet, because person was a palindrome. >> does anybody know who asa hutchinson actually is? >> greg: i don't know. geico he's a governor of some kind. joe is popular among the twins for his fashion, i was we. he's not on tiktok because he doesn't want the chinese to own the content. it's funny how the white house is using tiktok when the chinese on the company and also this is just like the climate change thing, all these people who have been terrified of covid are -- it's not hypocrisy, if that they love the control. they love being able to say i'm in a lead, none of this affects me, i can do whatever i want and all of you please, do what we tell you to do.
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i think screw these people, move on. [scattered applause. >> greg: and we are going to move onto the next segment. up next, a clown cannot [indiscernible]. [scattered applause] (vo) unconventional thinking means we see things differently, so you can focus on what matters most. that's how we've become the leader in 5g. #1 in customer satisfaction. and a partner who includes 5g in every plan, so you get it all.
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>> greg: roses are red, violets are blue and this historian is a jackass. sorry. and bc historian -- who the hell is that idiot, through some shade on former first lady melania this week criticizing her 2020 renovation of the rose garden. he tweeted a photo with this. "it eviscerates and of white house rose garden was completed a year ago this month" -- anniversary. prompting her to reply best loss has proven his ignorance of the rose garden in its infancy. the rose garden is graced with a
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healthy and colorful blossoming of roses, this misleading information is dishonorable and he should never be trusted as a professional historian. yes! the former -- the former first lady's changes includes the restoration of the original boxwood hedges in a floral display of green colored roses not to be him -- the stains on joe biden's bib. it's a something that a so-called historian is so starved for attention that a year later is trying to melania on twitter like some desperate mean girl. it says he's not so much a historian as he is a loser. but it's like my dad used to say, life begins the day you start a garden, especially vets over the ground where we buried that hitchhiker. it's amazing that kind of natural compost you can get by pretending to be a uber driver. always check your over drivers. how pathetic is he? >> it's very pathetic because i think having strong emotions about a garden you'll never be invited to hang out in is sad to
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begin with. if there was this petition to go back to how it was before that 80,000 people signed. who are you? you're never going to be invited to hang out there ever! and also, like if you've been in any garden, they're not that fun. >> they're not. >> you go it's pretty, an end activities are done. >> greg: how pathetic is he? >> he's really pathetic. adding tripled the number of rosebushes in the garden when they did the renovation but my favorite melania trump story is when there was a crisis of the border and someone released that call of her and she's like [bleep] christmas presents and decorations, that's all they want me to focus on their skids at the border that need reuniting and it's like yes, melania, love that. she cares about this and they're making it a problem. >> greg: joe, there was that whole time were sienna was counting the days were she wasn't visible, remember that? it's like these people can't even see how different they treat first ladies.
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>> greg, i said a lot of dumb things, including on this show. i just say dumb things all the time. but i'll tell you what, this tops them all, because i looked at the old photos of the rose garden and it was grass bushes and roses. and now it's grass, bushes, and other roses. no one's going around saying that's the bush kennedy looked at. no, it isn't, different bush. if you're mad about history -- they tore down yankee stadium. >> greg: [cackles] >> they did. >> greg: that's a good point. tyrus. >> i'm going to be honest, i'm proud of this guy. job well done, way to bring the truth to the people. listen, in wrestling, as are will television champion, when we want to get attention for a match we might sometimes call each other names and people like oh, my god, i can't believe they said that, et cetera, et cetera. he clearly is at the point of his career were he's got like five or six views on the weekend and two are from mom and dad so he needed some attention and so
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he talks about the one thing that will get media attention and we are all talking about it. he took a shot at the trump administration. not only that, he took a shot at the queen bee, which is, honestly, the wrong one, because she gives zero [bleep] about hitting you back with it. i would not -- if you sit where you're going to pick on, she would not be on my list in any way because the evil look and the fact that she's going to come at you with straight daggers. one thing she does not like his light on, good for him, we are talking about them. you did it, you made it. >> it also proof that they actually missed tromping on twitter, now we have to go after melania. >> greg: exactly. up next, he directs one hit after another but won't send a penny to his mother. [scattered applause]' ♪ breeze drifting on by you know how i feel. ♪ ♪ it's a new dawn... ♪ if you've been taking copd sitting down,
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♪ ♪ >> greg: he wrote true romance and won't give his mom a second chance. it appears quentin tarantino is a great big mean-oh and won't be killing any bills incurred by his mom. the acclaimed director revealed recently that when he was 12 years old, he vowed to never give his mother a cent after she criticized his passion for screenwriting. >> she said that to me in that sarcastic way.
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i was [indiscernible] okay lady. when i become a successful writer, you will never seed penny one from my success. there will be no house for you -- [laughs] no vacation for you, no elvis cadillac for mommy. you get nothing, because you said that. >> greg: wow. now he's reportedly worth an estimated $120 million. he says he stayed true to his word, but who's to say if he's right or wrong? i made a similar bow against my parents for criticizing my dedication to maintaining my perfect physique. [scattered laughter] and they didn't get a dime from any of those short films i made in tijuana back in a foster 80s although i did create a trust fund for the donkey. [scattered applause] joe, that's holding a grudge, right? >> that's holding a grudge and that's what your parents are supposed to do. they're supposed to try to crush
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your dreams, and i'll tell you what, when you go into show business, you disappoint them a lot. it's just what it's supposed to be. i don't know quentin tarantino, i don't know what his relationship with his mother's, but if you have any kind of relationship at all, may be buried the hatchet, because now he's the parent and i hope one day he doesn't tell his kid to eat his vegetables and his kid grows up to be a very rich carnivore. [scattered laughter] >> greg: your mom is happy you're a comedian, right? >> yeah, yeah, she's very proud of me, she's watching the show i'm sure but there's that gray area of 15 years where it was touch and go. >> greg: she's probably saying you should have worn a jacket. kat, is he fair -- i mean, this is almost too fair. he's basically saying she paid -- this is what she's getting. >> no, there's this common misconception that it's nice for parents to tell their kids they can be whatever they want to be.
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that's mean, that's lying and not true. it's really hard to become quentin tarantino. he did it, that's cool, and it just gives me anxiety because i spent all this time, i don't know if i should have kids because what if they turn out to be a bomb or a serial killer? now i have to worry what if they come very successful and they don't give me any money? what's the point of having kids? >> greg: that is so true. talk about a liability. gross. they smell, they are little area to katie. >> i'm wondering if quentin tarantino is irish because that is a grudge that -- wow. and i'm afraid to say anything about him right now because i don't want him holding a grudge against me and, you know, when your kid, you have a lot of ideas and your parents have to kind of bring you back down to earth, but if you succeed then great, maybe reconciliation would be in order. >> greg: it's where though, i guess i disagree in the sense that their parents shouldn't tell you to be yourself, that's the worst thing. >> definitely not. >> greg: but if they see you interested in something, they
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should push her towards that, right, tyrus? unless it's something crazy like [indiscernible]. >> listen, one my son tells me he wants to be an astronaut and i'm like you are ten and you are 5'9", it's not happening, bro. nasa is going to have to build a whole new ship, it's going to be a whole thing and i just don't think they're going to do that. sometimes as a parent you have to be the voice of reality, but this situation, he just comes off as a [bleep]. of what i was 12 years old and you told me i couldn't write -- look at me now. you have old man face now, let it go! [scattered applause] and i never gave her a dime. that's not a badge of honor. there's people looking at you like wait a minute, you didn't help your mother with all your success because she criticized you when you were 12? you wonder why houma thurman left. yeah, i said it. >> greg: [cackles] they were dating? how did i miss that story? >> it was above you. 241 on that one!
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>> greg: how to lose your -- if your son is 5'9" at 10, what's the estimation? >> actually he's a little ahead of me, i'm a little concerned. he's also a size 13 shoe at this point, so i'm size 17. there's been some conversations. i looked up some stuff in your -- the little guy is clever. he just doesn't fall for any of my tricks. the way he's going at 16, like listen, young man -- >> like all right dad. >> i don't need this. oh, dad -- you know? >> greg: i don't have that problem. >> what, people patting your head? yes you do. >> greg: [cackles] all right, don't go away, we will be right back. this is the sound of better breathing. fasenra is a different kind of asthma medication. it's not a steroid or inhaler. fasenra is an add-on treatment for asthma driven by eosinophils. it's one maintenance dose every 8 weeks.
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check for the dates. >> greg: make his mom proud and sell out those shows. thanks to kat, katie pavlich, joe mackie, tyrus. our studio audience. "fox news @ night" with evil shannon bream is next. i'm greg gutfeld. i love you, america. ♪ ♪ >> shannon: hello and welcome to "fox news @ night." i'm shannon bream in washington. breaking tonight: the trouble is far from of new york governor andrew cuomo once he resigned from office. critics from both political parties demanding prosecution for like they say our years of crimes and coverups. our legal panel is standing by to debate.


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