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tv   Gutfeld  FOX News  August 2, 2021 8:00pm-9:00pm PDT

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>> laura: it sounds like the original coke ad. freedom matters. it does matter. all made in the usa. support a good charity. this month little sisters of the poor. get your all cotton made in the u.s. drive the liberals crazy. "gutfeld!" is next. >> among 90% of the deaths in florida are among the unvaccinated. being vaccinated is like wearing a seat belt. doesn't guarantee you won't get in an accident, but if you do, you have a much better chance of surviving. hey, get your shot. >> greg: getting your shot is better than murder. >> [cheers and applause].
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>> [cheering]. >> greg: happy monday. in times of confusion it helps to have a leader do something bold like we can return to normal. like what you dad did exiting the bathroom with a can of lysol. the greatest man in the history of the world is back. no not him. him. our 44th president gave the middle finger to the cdc by inviting people to his birthday party. shows america there is no reason to be worried about covid or rising sea levels. climate change and coronavirus are dead.
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my invite got lost in the mail or mixed up with the love letters for megan fox. over 200 staffers. the border patrol of texas is green with envy. if you bring a kid do you get in free like the border. pearl jam was supposed play at this party. now that's probably good. >> [singing]? >> greg: they are a thinking man's abba. all guests will have to be tested. that's how fauci got his invite. this comes among an increase with delta variant with a panic.
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i salute obama and the message he is sending. rather than shut down your lives again. throw fauci to the wind and live your life. death comes for all of us, the minuscule risk from covid or the huge risk of betting murdered in portland. too bad there is not a vaccine for cnn's misinformation. it would only take 50 doses. i wonder what the angry white male has to say. >> ♪ ♪ >> let barack obama have a party. what a man decides to do in the privacy of his own island mansion is his business. i would not go to the party even if i was invited. not because i am concerned about
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covid, but you am looking for more solitary activities, like riding ski lifts alone in the summer. >> [laughing]. >> ♪ ♪ >> [applauding]. >> greg: you know he just dumped a body. what about the angry black male? >> ♪ ♪ >> ♪ ♪ >> [crunching]. >> i want to stick my hand in the chip bag but it's so big the bag rips open. that's not what you are here for. speak your mind. >> what? >> barack obama is throwing a party.
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we need more parties. president trump is going to rallies which are kind of like parties. those are great. i love that our former presidents throw parties and rallies. how about just the fact only cdc party. that would be awesome. i would attend that. that would be an easy guest list. and no free money is good money party. that would be phenomenal. we can all get back to work and pull our own weight and make this country great again. my favorite party -- you must be taller than 5 foot 9 to ride this ride party. >> [laughing]. >> there are camera crews around me all the time. >> [laughing]. >> know it's you. >> [applauding]. >> greg: 5 foot 9.
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that's about right. other leaders are doing the same thing. the d.c. mayor was photographed at a wedding reception after reinstating a mask mandate. d.c. is averaging 1 covid death a week. the city is so crimminally dangerous even covid doesn't want to go there. in chicago, despite threatening new lock downs the mayor looks like she just walked in on a naked jerry nadler. she saw something she can't ever unsee. if anybody should be hiding her face it's her begin what he's done to chicago. enjoy the music. it drowns out the gunfire. health experts are sending more mixed messages than an mri of
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the president's brain. i love seeing hypocrites in action. what you are seeing is a division between the power and the powerless and a new fake justice acting like action. it used to that be laws were for everyone. not so now. we have laws and restrictions for the law abiding only and no laws for those who don't. you can could mandateed to do this but no efforts are directed at the shoplifters or the homeless in the city. when there is a surge in crime the instinct is not to go after the criminal was create more restrictions for people who already follow them. imagine a fire alarm that spends trucks to placesont fire. that's the new strategy. with covid the powerful make sweeping judgments about americans who don't get
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vaccinated and won't wear a mask -- theyed -- they would not stand in the way of a man with a bag full walking out of the store. they call you name and throw a party. it's the "gutfeld!" golden rule. one enters politics to become immune to the laws one creates for others. if obama can party so can we. americans do best: doing whatever the hell you want. if you are kat waking up in our neighbor's pool shed. >> yes. >> greg: we have more cats than an unmarried white woman. >> [cheers and applause]. >> greg: boston's radio host
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jimmy. >> [cheers and applause]. >> greg: she knows how to light up a room. fox news contributor. kat. he is close when your dishes start vibrating. jimmy, appear to be splattered in covid. looks like a virus vomited on you. i am going to you first. >> you are supposed to be my friend. i look like a couch that should be covered in plastic. you should have told me this. >> greg: whoever died in that i don't know what they died from. embarrassment. the hypocrisy accusation is so obvious. is there something more to it?
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>> i laugh at the idea they will have a covid coordinator. that's a fancy way of someone who tells you not to put anything on social media. they are not coordinated. that's absurd. at obama's party if you get sick you can keep your doctor. >> greg: a throw back. >> this house has a private runway. nobody is flying commercial. they are not reducing their carbon foot print. that's the fraud of the whole thing. mayor bowser when she says we are all in this together, it's the cocktail hour. that's why we don't take public health initiatives seriously.
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the laurie lightfoot point. covid is not in the top 20 things to catch there. if they told you you caught covid, oh, thank god. >> greg: the new kat, lolla palosa is that age group. the only disease they are spreading is arthritis. >> [laughing]. >> greg: welcome to the show. >> thank you. >> greg: i don't have a problem with the party. president obama has enough love. does he need to throw a party for himself? >> he deserves to be happy and have a good time. the thing that fascinates me is that the way that all of this stuff can be talked about and
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even the covid mitigation measures, it's like people are feeling this delusion we have control over our own mortality than we actually do. it you catch the virus and get sick it's not because the virus what evolved to do. it's because you didn't try hard enough. >> greg: that's a good point. i think these days, we can't understand cost and benefit. we need to stamp out everything which is impossible clearly. >> yeah, we are all going to die. some faster than others. >> greg: i have my money on you before me. >> it could happen, that's the point and i agree with you. it's really a window into why they have this attitude. these politicians who put these rules in place.
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it's not stay home. just stay home like it's no big deal. they put these things in place depending on what works for their own social schedule. >> greg: it's not that hard to do. we said that on "the five." just stay home another day. >> i would not dare. just stay home. your livelihood no big deal. >> greg: that's very true. mayor bowser put this in effect after the wedding. 7 a.m. saturday morning. what do you think? >> the gist from the angry black male. >> i am excited i got invited. every time i get on my
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7-year-old or 9-year-old to stay in school, i can't do it anymore. politicians argue the same way we do. that's what we have turned into now. guess what the other side did today. they have fun. oh, yeah. well you have fun 3 months ago. seriously that's what we are dealing with. instead of giving us information about covid, barack obama is throwing a party. president trump did a rally and they were excited and happy. they did it on purpose. what are we doing? relax. >> greg: it's called filling content. >> the only person we should be mad at is fauci. >> we need more adults in the room. the parties and rallies should not matter. it's a variant. give us the information and we will take it from there.
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>> greg: up next does the disney princess dash your kids hopes? for tickets on "gutfeld!" click on the clink. ♪ someone once told me, that i should get used to people staring. so i did. it's okay, you can stare. when you're a two-time gold medalist, it comes with the territory.
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>> greg: will your daughter let you down if you wear the shiny crown? disney princess culture is not as toxic as professors have you believe. cartoon princesses have a positive effect on kids.
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this has been going on for a while now. yeah, that's silence. there are books dedicated to the subject with titles like cinderella ate my daughter and the princess problem. i am surprised there is no book called princess pool. kids who are into princesses at age 5 were likely at age 10 to hold healthier views about their gender. the only person destroying the influence of princesses is meghan markle. what happens when he's little girls grow up? maybe the princesses influences last longer than we think. >> good morning. >> has anyone else been having problems with the servants in the break room?
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i keep asking for java, but i am get nada. >> okay, we have none. the water you have to turn it on yourself. i would like to talk about the fourth quarter numbers. >> one word for you. dwarves. i know 7 guys and one nods off. >> could we get through 1 meeting without the princeess stuff. you are not a real princeess. >> then why are my half-sisters so ugly. i am the fairest, right? >> back to the marketing team. >> guys, sorry i am late. i was making out with a frog. >> [laughing]. >> traffic! >> [applauding]. >> greg: i don't know if that was the best way to end that skit or the only way to end that
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skit. >> he had the lion costume already. >> we have to work it in. kat, were you influenced by disney princesses? >> i don't think they influenced me at all. i think study. it's crazy it turns out kidsine if they are girl kids are able to watch a cartoon and not have it be what they aspire to their entire life or think it's real. talking about how it makes them feel bad about themselves. in what way. of all of the things that made me feel bad about myself cartoons are not on the list. >> greg: what was on the list? >> she writes like a boy and that was a really lady. >> greg: if you were born now, you would be a candidate for
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something. >> what is it statute of limitations? >> greg: new kat, what do you make of research like this? why are they doing this? what is behind this idea? >> they would love to find out it confirms all of their priors. i have to disagree with kat. is misled by the disney princeess into believing i would have a different relationship with wild animals that is appropriate or even possible for a human being. this is how i tried to befriend a rabid raccoon that was shot by animal control. >> greg: that's true. the kids get the most misguided advice about animals relationships. >> i will go to the woods and 15
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animals want to be my friends. >> greg: that's the problem with doing mushrooms. >> or the solution. >> greg: yeah. how many girls do you have? >> what are we talking about? how many princesses i dated? the list goes on and on. >> greg: you have 2 girls? >> i have 3. when i was a kid we would watch a rabbit out smart a hunter and he stuck dynamite down his back and told them it was a present. they opened the present and his face blew up. me and my brothers are not terrorists today and i don't understand how that didn't happen. the blueprints were there for a whole generation was there for men kissing rabbits. we figured out it was a cartoon and not real. like the first time you go to find bambi in the forest and the
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first squirrel, you go this is real. i am walking away. real life will let you know the difference between art and cartoons. we have experts who have to look into that, the term expert is being used way too loosely. we have cancer and my 25-year-old daughter still thinks she will be cinderella. what do we want to focus on? we have the budget for cinderella. let's do it. >> greg: have you ever had a wild animal in your house by accident? >> i had 3 ducks with no mom. they still have wild moments. >> greg: i had a squirrel in my
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apartment. that was terrifying. trying to get thelether chapas on hem. they come up with studies like this to passed responsibility on to people other than the parents. they were trying it demonize the little mermaid. it was the happy marriage ever with a woman with no voice. >> greg: i went to you for that? >> seriously, shame on these people. this is not a real problem affecting kids. we have a childhood obesity epidemic. 7-year-old man boobs are running around. the problem is not snow white.
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>> ♪ ♪ >> greg: they told the little kid to skid oodle. lemonade stand was given the boot while a homeless man strut ed in his naked suit. there is a rule banning selling products on public property. she had been selling lemonade since she was 4. she's had a real job for 3 more
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years than joe biden and donates the profits to charity. neighbors are upset because nothing is addressing the nearby homeless campus. homeless lemonade sucks. while the little girl gave an interview to the local woods, a naked man walked into the park. the mayor is responding say this should not have occurred. she is welcome into my office any time and become an honorar park ranger. it was that easy. capitalism solves what social destroys. kat, i am sorry, this kat.
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this is anxiety for me with the 2 kats. is this misplaced priorities? politician its just go after the easy stuff? >> yeah, what is easier than a 7-year-old child. we shut you down and your prize can you can be a cop. >> greg: i don't know. it would be worth it. you must get a little badge and a hat. >> what happened to you? [laughing]. >> greg: everybody wanted to be a park ranger. it was from watching yogi bear. >> no, it was smoking bear. the ranger in yogi bear got tricked all the time. it was the poster child for not to be as a ranger. this is politicians in a nutshell.
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they don't get it. she didn't want to be a park ranger or she would be saying only you can prevent forest fires, ladies and gentlemen and you should be wearing pants, sir. give her honorary businessness to sell her lemonade and veg tackles. this kids get -- veg tabules. this is the difference between woke politicians. we will give you a job you don't know about. here's a hat. but don't go in the forest because people are naked. >> send her to the park where the naked guy is. >> [overlapping talking]. >> she is now bait. >> [laughing]. >> greg: that's a good point.
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they didn't read the room. send her to the park. you had a lemonade stand you? never had a real job? >> never. from a health standpoint if you see the way kids make lemonade it's better for you know that the fentanyl at the junkie camp. the amount of sugar that goes in there. they gave her a second job. i am not buying they might not have shut her down for the good of the community. if you see the lax health practices at the lemonade stands, it's calling stirring. >> greg: that's a hard hitting report: what you don't know about lemonade stands. i am the consumer reporter
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vicky. >> every year we hear about the kids lemonade stands being shut down but not why. there were kids spiesing with them arsenic -- spiking them with arsenic, but we don't have those stories. >> greg: why do you want them? that's disgusting. >> i don't want them. >> greg: i am not afraid to stand up to big lemonade stands. up next. biological sex, there are 2 genders or more, maybe 8? (man) i've made progress with my mental health.
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>> should your birth id deny reality? the american medical association is pushing for an end to put the date on the birth certificate which proves you are born and not faking you are human like adam schiff. 10 states allow for a gender neutral designation. if you are confused. you are not alone. a harvard lecturer said
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biological sex is real. medical colleagues calls her racist. is it a difference between biological sex and gender? if you want a clear answer don't ask academics. they change answers like ru paul changes wigs. has the medical community lost their minds or their spines? >> they are trying to follow the trend. just play devil's advocate. you don't put sex on a birth certificate. >> do you need it on there. who is looking at that? >> i don't know. that's a good question. i am not a doctor but i played one on the internet. >> [laughing]. >> greg: giving out terrible advice. >> yes, you did. never do that again. >> greg: are you worried about this it? >> i am getting to that point in
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my life where the alpha-male is old and he is still willing and wants to run with the other horses but can't. i have to walk him out one day for the one walk a week. go off to the woods and only one of us is coming back. i have to it load the rifle. you still got it, man. all right. oh, look at the candy. i am glad things like sex are on the first things on my mind now. i embracing putting the gorilla down and letting him die off in space. i don't want the pills, hair transplant or the corvette. becoming up to 8, i could not handle it with just 1. i am retired. i am out for the game. my answer si don't care. >> greg: there you go. jimmy. >> i think it's a terrifying 69
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that the science people are ignoring science. i hope this will end gender reveal parties. i would love to go to a report card reveal party. 3 d's and an f, it's a stripper. it will annihilate pop culture. do you want to see hall and oat sing van meter? you won't call fattening food fattening because that's shaming the people who eat. we will get ourselves kid. if you are 900 pounds, we call you brave on the internet but you die 20 years younger than we do. >> greg: exactly. kat the only thing driving this
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is not science but fear of being attacked by activities on twitter. they have built up this phantom. we can't say mom. it's pregnant people. i can't get pregnant even in i transition. >> correct. no matter what your gender is, i will call you whatever pronouns you want. there will be times with the sex that you were worn as is going to be relevant like medical stuff and that kind of thing. i got to say, not having to report your baby's genitals to the government as soon as they are born, maybe that's not the worst thing. >> greg: i don't know. i am looking for the uterus transplants. then i can get pregnant. >> i am telling you it's not
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happening. last thing we want to do is carry it around. it would be no children. we can't handle a leg cramp. how would we handle that? >> greg: that's true. that was disgusting. upnext if you had your druthers would you text former lovers? >> [cheers and applause]. to be ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ born to be wild ♪ see disney's jungle cruise. applebee's and a movie, now that's eatin' good in the neighborhood. it's an important time to save. with priceline, you can get up to 60% off amazing hotels. and when you get a big deal... you feel like a big deal. ♪♪ priceline. every trip is a big deal. when you earn a degree with university of phoenix, we support you with career coaching, including resume building,
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>> ♪ ♪ >> greg: tell your lover you care but always have a spare. a study out of the university of oklahoma find that back burner relationships are rising during the pandemic. isn't everything rising or declining. almost every surveyed their current relationships were supposed to be exclusive but 62% kept someone on the back burner in case something bad happens. their current partner finds out they were chatting with annex. half were still doing that which puts them in their bad news. kat was seen outside of the university of oklahoma this weekend screaming did my husband take this survey?
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i will kill him in his sleep. that's the best time to kill someone according to stewart barney. i don't know why they said that. jimmy, does your wife let you have phone privileges? >> i don't believe this is a real study. a scientist got hooked up in a lab and said this is a study. hooking up with ex's, it reminds you why you broke up. there is value having your wife around. that's what my wife said. >> greg: it's never a 2-way street. nobody is back burning each other. >> right. the other person will get up
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set. this is why you don't stop texting your partner. i text my husband so much. i don't know how he has time for a job. he doesn't have time to text anyone else. >> [laughing]. >> i can answer for him. right. >> right? >> [laughing]. >> right. >> greg: poor guy. >> no it, lucky guy. the luckiest man in the whole world. >> greg: there you go. >> becausely is married to me and not any other reason. >> greg: kat rosenfield, i got it now in the last block. do you buy this research? >> i don't know. it sound exhausting. my recurring nightmare is that i got back with my ex-boyfriend who i dated before my husband. i would wake up why? >> greg: i have had those. those are good nightmares to
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have because they tell you did the right thing. that's very healthy. tyrus, from your experience what would you like to say? >> i have a prepared at the same time. there is no reason to speak to an ex. you can't talk to anything you are a guy. your woman can all day. we talk about gender issue. that's a big problem for gender issue. we don't know how to put people on friend row. they end up on deck and that doesn't work. my advise to guys. it didn't happen. if it was me i am damn sure it
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wasn't me. it wasn't me! >> greg: that's a good point. the ex, it's the female that insti gates this thing out of the blue. she would be mad if they do it to her. >> women never get blamed. we get blamed. if your women cheats on you, you made her feel ugly. tramp the trainer made her feel beautiful again. honey, you were fat when i met you. that's the truth. it's always our fault. same thing in this situation. just say no. >> greg: that was a hell of a prepared at the same time. >> exactly. >> greg: i don't think that was prepared. >> [laughing]. >> greg: don't go away. we'll be right back. >> [cheers and applause].
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>> greg: before rico, let's do this. being world-famous, it's hard for me to have a few friends over because a lot of them are celebrities and i have a pool and they like to come over what you wouldn't believe who stopped by and crashed my party, no invite. ryan gosling. it's kind of weird. he immediately hits on the women. he glommed onto them and it's really kind of uncomfortable because he is nude and the women have to deal with his hairy parts. but he doesn't care. even in this era of me too.
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i had to clean the pool. i'm out of time. set your dvrs so you never miss an episode. the studio audience. "fox news @ night" with evil shannon bream is next. i'm greg gutfeld, and i love you, america. ♪ ♪ >> shannon: hello and welcome to "fox news @ night." i am shannon bream in washington. breaking tonight: many americans responding to the president's impassioned pleas to get vaccinated as positive covid tests surge again. others are saying that they will quit their job if their employee makes the vaccine mandatory. we'll have a live report on the latest. looks like some democratic officials may be ignoring their

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