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tv   Gutfeld  FOX News  July 29, 2021 8:00pm-9:00pm PDT

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that's all the time we have the night, remember -- freedom matters, a whole new trucker hat made in the usa, all profits going to charity. the fist to horatio's scholarship fund. go to lauraingraham.com, all for a great cause. >> back during 2009 during the so-called great recession, the president asked me to be in charge -- that was less president. >> greg: isn't a freudian slip in something you secretly want to happen? i guess he wanted trump to be president, who knew? ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] part of the opener.
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all right, wild crowd tonight, they are all stoked. as someone once said it never let a crisis go to waste, i think it was brian kilmeade's makeup person. these days the covid crisis is used to create conflict and those pushing it are turning up the theatrics, not only because they are losing control of those they hate but because it gets them on tv and attention from the equally narcissistic media peers. what did innocent americans do to deserve this? for a few of you it's vaccine hesitancy, and the dumbest man on the planet thinks you're a criminal. >> the anti-vax-ers are criminal at this point, what they are doing to this country is undermining our future, they are taking with the future of this country. >> greg: imagine this irony. this is the mayor of new york city, where repeat criminals who brutalize elderly women and drugstores are quickly released back on the streets and he thinks people who don't get
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the vaccine are the criminals. this from a guy who ran for president while the city he governed imploded under the weight of violent crime, homelessness, and diseases. this guy calling anyone a criminal is about as hypocritical as me calling anyone a pint-size pontificate or with intestinal distress, which i do have. anyway, i wonder what this lady has to say. >> if you're going to get government provided health care, medicare, medicaid, social security, you should be getting the vaccine because you're going to have to -- we are going to have to take care of you on the back end. >> greg: we? hoover thinks social security is somehow the government's money, not money with him to the government. i'm not sure what is thicker, the hoover dam or the hoover skull. sorry, she's a nice lady, but
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that was a good joke. look who found a thesaurus, it was under the fake barbells. >> part of the metric here is ignorance but also arrogance, misplaced sense of righteous indignation and resistance they believe is a false manifestation of freedom. >> greg: we almost have to stop the show and contemplate the hilarity of captain q-tip calling anyone arrogant or indignant, he was out picking fights with neighbors and who could forget his award-winning portrayal as lazarus. >> just worked out, it happens. this is what i have been dreaming of. >> greg: that's the truth, he probably replayed that moment over and over in his head, it was cheesier than a packers fan eating fondue.
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nicely done. then there was this clown finding his way back on the tv. >> maybe you're doing it because you're irrationally anxious, maybe you're doing it because you're disconnected or disorganized, maybe there's some sympathetic psychological reasons but maybe you're just being antisocial. in this country, race is a protected category, being an antisocial jerk is not. >> greg: i guess it is at cnn when you're on. in the atlantic, he also says that since biden's america produces 70% of the wealth, they should decide when it's had enough of trump's america who are putting people medically at risk. trump's america. last night i pointed out many of the unvaccinated a people of color who are skeptical of the health care system that screwed them over, there are also tens of thousands of city workers and undocumented immigrants who also aren't getting the jab. after that the wait-and-see for
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gauging the responses of the vaccine, i'm willing to bet that's not trump's america but it doesn't matter for broken, sidelined losers -- to remain relevant he must paint the image leading a group of redneck anti-vax or boxers, mouth breeders -- the must-see conflict under every rock including one he's been living under for the last 20 years. in "the new york times," experts blind americans were unvaccinated at least i think that's what it said, it's hard to read something covered in parakeet [bleep]. even as the times admits, only a third of the unvaccinated are eligible and the vaccinated are now mad at the unvaccinated which they get from interviewing their pals. the times quotes the political director of the hard left data coast saying that anger is brewing along the vaccinated toward the unvaccinated, you have to love how the media operates.
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i wonder -- i'll ask someone who agrees with me to supply quotes. it's like a mean girl spreading a rumor about another mean girl hitting on another mean girl's boyfriend just to start a fight in the cafeteria. they are mean girls in drag. they are framing covert it like a teamsters strike. in this case, the unvaccinated are the scabs. it's weird watching the people same make the same mistake over and over again while claiming they are trying to help, it's like my wife watching me load the dishwasher. they don't really want to help the vaccine holdouts, they enjoy the conflict too much. it makes perfect sense because all good theater starts with conflict and that's what tv news has become, good theater. how can intimidating people and insulting them persuade anyone, don't democrats call that bullying? you can't morally impugn shoplifters, looters, violent drug addicts who assault cops, transients or junkies, that would be so insensitive and yet
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so reasonable. but those rubes scared of a novel vaccine, they have it coming, they are the criminals. these media bullies just want to impugn the people who cause them emotional turmoil over the past four years. this sort of virtue signaling is actually therapy for them. they should really call dr. drew. as matt taibbi points out it's a brand-new kind of snob allowing elites to look down at the unschooled underclass, stressing the affluence of their voters as an indication of their moral superiority, listening to them is as harmful as french kissing a cave dwelling bat in wuhan. i can't wait to see what they do next and watch it blow up in their unmasked faces. [cheers and applause] great introduction, he worked his way up faster -- coanchor todd piro.
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her bleeding heart isn't because of some weird vaccine side effects, fox news contributor jessica tarlov. his version of locker room humor is trying out jokes in the shower. her laugh is as intoxicating as the contents of her purse, cat digs. that is some crazy howling going on there. must be my new cologne. why do you suppose the media is so interested in joining up the divisions in the covert crisis as opposed to getting people vaccinated? >> they had to keep it tied to trump because that's the only way they can get a semblance of ratings. we look at the numbers, we report on the numbers, the numbers for the nonfox news channel networks are abysmal and not just cable.
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we are talking terrestrial tv too. the ones you can find with the rabbit ears. they need to tie anything to trump. if covid went away tomorrow, they would buy something else to type to trump, six other things they may gin up, that's how they do it and that's what they need to do because it's the only way they keep their slim audiences somewhat engaged. >> greg: if i didn't know any better i would think you work at fox news. >> i did it feels like i worked there a year ago because i have been up for 9,000 hours straight. >> greg: i don't know how people get up that early, i have never seen fox & friends. >> the a.m. version? >> greg: i'm not certain and exists, sometimes i think it's like the moon landing. while i was doing my monologue off to the side i could see you nodding along going finally someone is speaking the truth.
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>> that was my fear face of what the audience is going to do and i only got the stink eye from one person. >> greg: that was our floor director dave. what did you make of biden's stuff today, was he okay? >> i thought he was okay. out of the gate, there were a few stumbles but he kicked randi weingarten in the and she's not having a good night tonight. she was out earlier saying we are going to endeavor to go back to school and he was like you're going back to school. while the speech was going on, the problem was not with vaccinated people, it's with unvaccinated people and that's really -- i thought you used an expletive but i don't feel comfortable enough using
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[bleep]. >> i posted last night it was a while ago, i set up more than once. >> that's how people of liberals and conservatives feel about this i don't want to put a mask back on, i locked down, i wore a mask, i got my jab, i want people to see my face. it feels like that's what the science says. >> greg: now they are saying even if you have the vaccination you should wear the mask and even if you got covid you can get the vaccination. with new data, you should be changing the recommendations based on the data but people are getting confused because they are like wait a second, is it natural immunity preferable to anything? i'm a doctor, i understand these things. >> you're my doctor. is that not right? >> greg: i don't know if that's, knowledge and we aren't supposed to talk about that, that's between us.
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>> can i mix these two things was make you can say yes. >> greg: take these pills. >> people are universally passed off about it except for the people who are -- i think they miss it because they are like the best that following the rules. >> greg: i don't like that voice. stop it. >> it was the easiest way to be an activist because the only way you can be an activist that requires you to sit there at home and do nothing. i got my vaccine and i did it, i did all the things. i'm not willing to indefinitely postpone my life because life is short especially if you are me and you make the choices that i make. [applause] >> greg: joe, what are your
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thoughts on anything that is flying through that beautiful brilliant head of yours. under that magical swath of hair. resting above those broad, muscular shoulders. >> let me know when you're finished. >> greg: i'm going to finish when i want to finish. sorry. don't know what has come over me. you. i'm sorry. >> it feels like follow the science has become follow the leader because everything is backwards come up is down, down is up, it used to be they would wait a couple months before they contradict themselves, now they are doing it at the same time. they are saying it's only the unvaccinated that are having any kind of pandemic but at the same time if you're vaccinated, put the mask back on and how many times they have to be proven wrong. but you are arrogant if you wonder why the people keep screwing up -- why people aren't
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listening to them and what happens to you is you get censored, you get demonized and it seems like more and more you are being forced to take the vaccine. i got it, i have no problems with it but at a certain point after two weeks to flatten the curve, the continued loss of rights and started to wonder if you can be forced to take an experimental vaccine for a disease that everyone agrees is largely survivable and a majority that are eligible have the vaccine for it, what does the constitution even do? >> greg: it is weird, we've pretty much solved this. when you think about how many people are unvaccinated in a third of them are ineligible, it's a whole bunch of different people. people who are immunocompromised, people who are really skeptical, but everybody wants to say these are a bunch of nut bags and that doesn't help anyone, especially the nut bags.
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♪ ♪ >> greg: after defunding flops, she wants more cops. washington, d.c., mayor muriel bowser has a new plan for dealing with her cities crime spike and it's going to sound crazy but hear her out, what was that? >> i will be sending an additional $11 million supplemental budget request to the council this week to allow for the hiring of 20 new
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officers in fy 21 and 150 new officers in fy 22. >> greg: wait a second. what's? more cops to fight more rising crime? that's not how it's supposed to work. it's a novel approach, here is more cops to fight the crime, hopefully they aren't just for her security detail. in bowser's defense she is opposed to defunding the police even as the d.c. council voted to ship 23 million out of the budget, a destructive ideology turning every liberal city into organized mayhem. it's what senator tom cotton sound calls the blm effect which sounds like what happens to me after having a cigarette with coffee. you can work at it. a obvious point that anti-law enforcement sentiment championed by black lives matter and the media caused a drop in policing leading to fewer
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arrests and a rising murder rate. week policing, weak prosecuting, weak senteing hurts black americans more than any other group. they constitute half of all murder victims and regularly suffer the brunt of damage resulting from riots. meanwhile in new york two teens were turned in by their parents for assaulting an off-duty firefighter, et cetera video was shared online. as punishment they will be forced to work as president of biden's transcriber. you coddle criminals like their little koala bears, i bet you feel pretty stupid now that all of your heroes are trying to get more cops on the beat, you're eating a lot of crow, eating more crow than a crow tasting chef. it's no green bay packers with cheese. >> great joke, hatched in the
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green room. at that like moments like these, i'm not going to say i always take about what i'm going to say on television but i'm very careful about to defund the police because that one smells so bad. there's always been a difference between the organization and the movement itself and i think that's the problem here at the organization itself is not very good at organizing, getting things done, bringing policy proposals but the movement, the idea that everyone should be treated equally i think we can all get behind and that has gotten murky but one of the best things about politics on both sides, everyone enjoys when democrats start eating their own or one republican start eating their own, what's going to happen? mitch mcconnell is going after trump and now with this police officer's issue, all of these defund the police activists like the squad to come are they going to start calling black mayors racist or black police chiefs racist? that's where you get to the point where you say may be the people who are on the street are the ones who know and i think
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the police chief from d.c. did everyone in all these major cities a huge service last week when he said this is insane what's going on. i'm 200 cops short. i know every single person committing these crimes because they have been in the system before and do something about it, she had to do something about it. >> greg: i said she coddle criminals but you literally have coddled criminals. >> only ones that were hot. >> greg: ted kaczynski wasn't a bad looking guy. >> overall, tom cotton i vehemently disagree with his vision for the criminal justice system, i agree we should not be coddling criminals but he and i have very difficult that dumb academic different ideas of what constitutes a criminal but at the same time what we have been doing for the past year has been so bananas -- apparently i'm a far right because i want
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accountability for police officers just like i want accountability for everyone who has power over us. this far right idea that i also would like accountability for someone who commits a violent felony, that's a controversial opinion among progressive circles. that doesn't make any sense to me, we should be surprised by this because what they think was going to happen? >> greg: what do you make of this? >> it makes perfect sense that politicians are starting to see the likes of criminal justice in the cities because nothing is less popular than people getting shot at including me in high school. that was kind of sad. >> greg: where did you go to high school? >> state college, pennsylvania. >> greg: that's a college. the city, state college! how confusing is that? if you go where is the state college and they send you to the city, that's confusing. >> it is confusing and i think
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there's a lot of common ground here, people want to police to accountable just like they want every government official to be accountable. and when political groups start eating their own, that only makes the cannibals happy. >> greg: don't bring me into this. we inserted into the story about the kids in the firefighters, do you want to comment on that or do you want to continue to talk about the larger theme? i feel like we must touch on those children. i am against touching children! >> that's a good piece of parenting. >> greg: i don't want to have to turn them into the cops. can't find a babysitter, you're going to the cops.
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they killed a drifter! then i come back after i see the movie, i go i was kidding. you said you liked uncle geraldo more than me? you're going to prison, billy! i don't know why you named your kid to be a leap. the problem with that is this is a bigger issue in society, the social media thing. these kids are doing stupid things on social media and they are harming themselves and now they are harming society. it's a bigger issue and parents there's so much you can control as a parent, they exist to try to control their kids to make sure they don't do something stupid is off the charts. it can go serious to bullying or something goofy like this but the ramifications are horrible. i'm sorry to get so serious. >> greg: you have a kid? >> not on social media at eight months as far as i'm aware. >> greg: when i was eight months old i was already
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an easy to swallow mini pill. the brand i trust is qunol. >> greg: is racial strife impacting aquatic life? it's no joke, fishermen must get woke. a new study published in fisheries magazine, i love their sex quizzes -- concludes fish have suffered due to conservation policies because of, wait for it, white men from centuries ago. it explores how colonialist attitudes towards native fishes were rooted in elements of racism and sexism. it's true, to this day white fish still have no rhythm. when you trace the history of the problem, you realize it's because the field was shaped by white men, excluding other points of view. we reached out to those scientists, they were lucky
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enough to die long before this was considered science. if the fishing industry is rife with bias and needs to change, the study says they can start by calling fish nicer names like native instead of trash or rough, we went to a fish for comment. >> that just means i'm not good for sport fishing or bait, sounds good for me. i'm a rough fish, what really chaps my ass is when someone thinks it's fun to hide a hook in my food. if you get dragged underwater by an enormous monster, what it mattered if they called you greg? >> greg: good point. there are far worse evils that fish must deal with than what we call them. >> that fish had a pretty voice. i think the whole premise of this study was a bit of a red
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herring. i intended that pun that pun. >> greg: if you intend upon it's even worse. >> native fish aren't exclusive, a lot who are native such as trout or sunfish, there are native fish that we have in hatcheries and some of the rough fish are stuff like catfish, it was a mixed message from the get-go. >> greg: i think they might be onto something because have you ever noticed how much inequality is in an aquarium. at some fish have capsules and others don't? have you noticed that when you go to a pet store or a fish store or a neighborhood fish store? >> i'm offended that they are saying trash is a bad thing. i have always considered my own
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elements of trashing us to be part of my charm. i'm serious, i'm not pageant hot but i'm trashy and i've got it going on. when someone says classy to me, all i hear is boring, all these studies they probably sit around and drink tea with their pinkies up and call each other racist, i would rather drink in the trailer park and by that i mean drink in the trailer park again. >> greg: i have a theory that woke-ism is a made up language. >> is somebody who is pageant hot i would like to say -- we both went to the uc system, doesn't it make you proud of your degree? august, i don't know if you know this is seafood festival month.
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>> greg: i didn't get that on my calendar notification. >> with stomach issues i don't know if you can email. i promise i'm going to use proper nongendered language i'm going to use woke terminology for all the fish and i'm going to fry them. >> greg: they will die with a weird smile on their face. have you thought about how these terms actually impact the fish personally? >> no. i haven't once. when you say i think wokism is made up, no one told me these rules which makes me think it really is made up. >> greg: the issue is when something is unchallenged keeps going and they don't know where it's coming from. it's bubbling out of the hr world. >> it's the social media problem, it's a study from a
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while ago. >> greg: how dare you impugn our research? >> i think it's a classic which is why it was brought up again. i have in fact-checked myself, it is something that we are all talking about and when you get into a conversation with someone about something you might think is actually cancel, they are like one about the fish and the fish don't matter. >> greg: i hope peta heard that, the fish don't matter. a quick announcement, tickets still available for the tour in support of my book, august 22nd i think that is a sunday i'll be in nashville. later on i'll hit memphis, birmingham, alabama, newark, new jersey, go to got filled.com for info. they knew they could drown but that didn't stop some gaming clowns.
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>> greg: as the water soared, they continued to score. if flooding almost turned this gaming group into electric human soup. it's either a sad commentary on the male brain or an awesome commentary on the male brain. even flooding caused by a typhoon couldn't stop gamers in the philippines from wasting their time killing things, video from an internet cafe showed youngsters playing video games as the water reaches waist high or in my case neck-deep. the cafe owner said we didn't know the floodwater would rise that day, when i saw them i immediately took action and told them i would have to transfer the equipment to a higher place. that is a hero. not going to close the place down, i'm going to move everything up a few feet. that is the same careless attitude that kept the band playing on the titanic when they
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should have been busy dressing up as women and children. that's what i would have done. whenever i go on a cruise, i always bring a dress and another dress -- in case i like to wear the dress just for fun. who is more awesome, the game players or the cafe owner? >> awesome is a strong word for any of this. they could have been electrocuted and there is something sad about that. >> greg: it wouldn't have been a story then! >> i'm going to defend them a little bit because everyone is calling them stupid because they could've been electrocuted but is it really worth risking your life to play a video game? no one is calling the person filmed that stupid for doing the same thing. the he was risking being electrocuted, i could die that's not as bad as having to live knowing how viral i could have gone by staying here and filming the spirit >> greg: i think
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this should be offered on death row, not as an electric chair but you get to play videos and they feel the place up with water. >> i have a completely different take on this -- who says young people don't finish with a start. i admire the commitment and i'm going to get wonky here, you read in the scientific journals of which i am a huge fan that they say surgeons were really good video gamers back in the day. if a surgeon has to do something for 25, 30 hour surgery, i want to know they have the stamina, the endurance. they have sat through a water filled gaming room and they didn't care if they got electrocuted, they finished that game. they're going to finish my colonoscopy. >> greg: that's not surgery but it can be if you pay extra. i was asking to add some things.
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come around that tube, something coming along there. i was thought that should make it wider just for me. when you watch these kids playing video games while it's a flooding, is this the right frame of mind for combating climate change? >> this makes me more afraid to have boys, once the flooding starts it was like okay come on the b it's time that i go and i can finish at home. >> greg: this says something about boys that is ingrained in their heads. risk is -- they will risk anything. >> the reward of having the high score is better than that. >> boys can't evaluate danger very well but i'm glad that they were kids and not adults because those of the video game players that worry me because video games are like a drug where you can put aside the real
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world and have a feeling of pleasure, something that is artificial. i'm worried there's a lot of adults i know that are going to wake up when the power goes out and they are going to have no career, no family come in resume to speak of and log on to twitter and start insulting people. >> greg: that will never happen, joe. before i go to the break there's an unspoken truth as a child, didn't you always want to fill up a room with water? >> not while on a computer. >> greg: i always wanted to see what it would be like. >> is not part of my journey. >> greg: you never thought it would be fun to see all your toys floating around? this before they put me in the home. i got better come up next will intelligent life be found in space? we will ask a rocker with an otherworldly face.
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this couple is working hard on our state's recovery. you see, they live in california and keeping their vacation in california supports our small businesses and communities. which means that beautiful baby gherkin atop this charcuterie masterpiece is like another brick in the rebuilding of our economy. job well done friends. calling all californians. keep your vacation here and help our state get back to work. and please travel responsibly. >> greg: is there a better race in outer space? a team of international scientists led by harvard professor is launching a new search for alien tech in our solar system, it's called the galileo project and looks to create a global network of telescopes, cameras, and in computers to investigate ufos. i suppose we should be impressed
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by this but we keep hearing about searches for alien life every week. if i can only think of one truly awesome being qualified to discuss this with me because he's not from this earth, he also happens to be the leader of the greatest band that is or will ever be, gwar. welcome back the berserker! >> glad to be here! >> greg: let's get right to it, they are looking for alien life and you are right here, are you offended at all that they aren't actually contacting you? a true alien? >> i have no idea why they are pretending that they don't know that aliens exist. of course we exist. they've known it for a long time, i just played pinochle last night with colin powell and basketballs at dick vitale.
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>> greg: why are they keeping it a secret? >> they are afraid -- if humans encounter aliens they're going to absolutely -- you will crap your slacks come on appearing to you in a form your brain can handle, if you really saw me you would flip out. >> greg: i find you quite arousing to be honest. >> right back at you. >> greg: maybe we should continue this interview somewhere else. >> i'm game if your game. [laughter] >> greg: are there any aliens out there that are edible and might taste good? >> yeah, most alien races are edible and they all taste like
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chicken. they are delicious. >> greg: i think as an earthling, i only eat earthlings. i only eat turkey, chickens, turkeys or earthlings -- space exploration must mean going out there and finding aliens to eat so we can stop eating earthlings. do you think that is objectionable? >> i think it is natural as rain, you're going to go out into the universe and find other stuff to ruin, that's what humanity does. >> greg: exactly. this harvard professor is trying to figure out i guess what is the easiest way to tell if an alien, especially a robotic alien is a friend or a foe. do you have any tips? >> this person is confused from the ground up.
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they say this thing is some kind of an alien probe -- it is a probe but it's actually just a piece of space garbage, it's a product a logical probe, i happen to know this for a fact and it's giant, it's huge, it's enormous. if you know because aliens are giant a-holes. i'm really more of a [bleep] guide to be honest with you. >> greg: how many holes does an alien like you have? >> i have four -- i've got these two, i don't know. trust me it's going to be hard to make me airtight. >> greg: off-topic, i've noticed on planet earth when i'm watching a science-fiction movie
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with space aliens, the male aliens are always kind of grotesque but the female aliens are always somewhat -- and the gender is binary. i was wondering if we are anywhere close to being accurate in our depiction of aliens. [laughter] >> that's hilarious, of course not. this is another thing, yes aliens come here but earth is, it's a landfill in broward county florida to the rest of the universe, that's what earth is. they are all hideous, i am the best looking alien you will ever see. >> greg: one more topic, researchers have found that radioactive wild boar hybrids are roaming the region near the
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2011 fukushima nuclear disaster. apparently domestic pigs escaped from farms and got together with the wild boar's and now we have a new species. should we be worried? >> absolutely not, that's cause for celebration, that is the best news i've heard all day. >> greg: always end with a bang. a pleasure, we've got to get you to the studio. that's gwar, buy their music, buy gwar. don't go away, we'll be right back. what's on the horizon?
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the answers lie beyond the roads we know. we recognize that energy demand is growing, and the world needs lower carbon solutions to keep up. at chevron, we're working to find new ways forward, like through our venture capital group. backing technologies like electric vehicle charging, carbon capture and even nuclear fusion. we may not know just what lies ahead, but it's only human... to search for it. at usaa, we've been called too exclusive. because we were created for officers. but as we've evolved with the military, we've grown to serve all who've honorably served. no matter their rank, or when they were in. a marine just out of basic, or a petty officer from '73.
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priceline will partner with even more vegas hotels to turn their unsold rooms into amazing deals. delegates, how do you vote? (cheering) ♪ yes, y-y-y-yes, yes... ♪ that is freaky. (applause) >> greg: we are out of time, set your dvrs overnight so you never miss an episode. thanks to todd piro, jessica tarlov, kat timpf, the
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berserker, and our studio audience! "fox news @ night" is next with shannon bream, she's evil. i'm greg gutfeld, i love you, america. ♪ ♪ [scattered applause] ♪ ♪ >> shannon: hello, welcome to "fox news @ night." i'm shannon bream in washington. breaking tonight, millions of federal workers facing the choice. get vaccinated or submit to regular covid testing, masking, and social distancing. and by the way, who pays for the testing? millions more tonight looking for concrete answers from the biden administration as new data shows the so-called breakthrough

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