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tv   Gutfeld  FOX News  April 19, 2021 8:00pm-9:00pm PDT

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hard hats are uni-sex. >> laura: they were not laughing with you. "gutfeld!." >> if we don't do something about the climate change one of our last records of how some parts of the world look oddly enough would be some of your work on game of thrones. >> greg: that show was know real. just the dragons of course. >> [laughing]. >> [cheers and applause]. >> greg: another day another idiot on cnn.
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shootings? access to weapons? your kids start getting killed. white people's kids start getting killed. smoking that which is legal in your state. the cop kills him. why did you run? he had a baseball game. a white kid. that big house over there. those start piling up. what is going on with these police? oh! maybe we should not have police? that kind of mania, that kind of madness, that will be you. that will be the majority because it's your people. >> greg: he does an amazing white person voice. >> [laughing]. >> greg: it sounded like he was not the privileged wealthy brother of a governor. he cares more about his black
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victims than his lily-white audience. he mox them. -- mocks them. his solution to police brutality, more police brutality. he suggest white kids need to be killed by cops maybe he will cover it. right now he would ignore that because it doesn't fit the narrative that police brutality is racist. just a few short months ago i am so tired of playing this clip but we have to. he mocked concern for victims of violence. >> democrat cities are in chaos. is this what you want from joe biden? they are taking down the statues. >> crime is rising. >> defund the police. bu!
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>> greg: he went to it's a big deal and you are still stupid. chris saw his ratings plummet or maybe his brother harassed another staffer so he needed to act for bonkers. he is not alone. another idiot brought kerosene to the arson party. >> we have to stay on the streets and get more active. [muffled audio]. >> greg: i don't know if i can do anymore looting than i am already. i am looted out, america. after a week of violence she calls for more mayhem if the jury doesn't do what she wants. the media agrees and maxine doesn't know where they live. they are too busy comparing
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black congressmen to the kkk. how can a white jackass smear a black republican and ex-nfl star who has done nothing but good and not be called a racist? if owens were not black bagley would not have cited the kkk. not to be outdone debbie schultz called never who didn't rick the 2016 primary for hillary clinton a nazi. >> if you don't knock down the outrageous, racist, most evil
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belief of republicans, of anyone like this, then we will live to repeat the discrimination and persecution of minorities or people deemed other in the future. >> greg: she hasn't changed a thing and i mean whatever is sleeping on her head. >> [laughing]. >> greg: why are we calling people nazis? to move it away from words to sticks. if you disagree you are in the klan. if that's disgusting you are a nazi. why? we are a nation of angry white males just like this one. >> ♪ ♪ >> [laughing]. >> the american flag gets
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tangleed in the wind. i read in the "new york times" about this project that our country was founded on the ideas of oppression. i look at the flag and what is represents. one nation under god with liberty and justice for all. i really believe those words. >> [laughing]. >> greg: he is debraved! -- depraved. we have drawn the lines on who is evil and who isn't? americans are split into different campus and they are pitted one group against another. world history moving backwards. we are resurrecting tribalism. cooperation gone. we came a long way from warring
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fashions where disagreements were settled with a club or a spear. but for the media those are good old days. most americans agree that george floyd's treatment by police was abhorrent. agreement didn't win elections for a wealthy person who doesn't live in a poor direction. division is the quickest path to power and the most destructive. don't put too much thought into it. no one else did. >> [applauding]. >> [cheering]. >> greg: he is a conservative brit, steve. >> [cheering]. >> greg: he is talented, handsome and the writer of this
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intro. joe. and kat. >> [cheers and applause]. >> it's all small stuff. >> [cheers and applause]. >> i dressed up for this. >> you should have seen me an hour ago. >> [laughing]? >> what do you make of this bruhaha about maxine waters? the judge said that they may have -- he gave the defense
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a basis to overturn the trial on appeal because it was a threat to the jury. >> it made me think of that phrase disaster tourism. she is riot tourism. she dressed it up i am auntie maxine. how many aunties do you know that try to get people to do the looting? >> i have one. >> you will never get a straight answer here. >> [laughing]. >> greg: where is this headed? >> first i appreciate cuomo being more angry about it than i am. i can't be mad. he is really upset. white people have been shooting white people for a long time. let's not go that route. auntie maxine, 20 years ago and 10 years ago i had a lot of respect for her.
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we are seeing politicians don't leave. the only way we can fix things is by protesting and posturing violence. not the constitution. what the hell are you doing in office? >> greg: exactly. >> your words ended up -- and i watched the entire thing, closing arguments -- she created for sure they will get an appeal. if any jury saw that on the news they have a mistrial. >> greg: she got the looting. >> i have had this issue across the bore. i was one for the first people that came out. when i saw what happened to george floyd i was mad and angry. but when i watched the trial i
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have to take my feelings out of it and be objective. lining to the defense attorney today, all they have to do is make reasonable doubt. all they need is one juror. you are hearing talks of violence. it makes me concerned. but at no time would i tell anybody when i think needs to happen. i have to wait for the verdict to come out. then we have a discussion of it. what do we learn? you can find some positivity about it. but they are already getting the gasoline drums out ready to pour. everyone is looking to be the next martin luther king leader. you can't force leadership. i don't understand why our leaders are trying to pretend. it's not just hear. ted cruz does the same thing on the other side. saying things to be important
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with no regards to how it affects the people on the street. she will affect the outcome of this trial. >> greg: you will be out on the street getting a free washer and dryer and screaming. joe, that's what you are going to do. >> [laughing]. >> the problem with maxine waters her words are taken in context. >> [laughing]. >> she says these irresponsible things and act like how dare you accurately quote me? this is not time to play around. i enjoyed the clip of chris cuomo doing that dramatic reading from reefer madness. what is he talking about? i don't know what the blood left in their family is. he wants the young people to die.
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his brother killed the old people. they are like super mario brothers serial killers. there is a problem when children of color are killed and no one talks about it. i am not talking about rioting. i am talking about the horrible circumstances they grow up in. maybe someone in the media should give it fair treatment so those lives are treated as horrible losses. >> greg: examining the problem with our educational system. kat, it gets me mad. we assume because of race you can't empathize with somebody from a different race. that's a terrible thing to say about americans. talking about millions of people. >> that's a wild accusation and
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proven false if you have google. for the past year people have polling people about police reform. last year and this year one thing in common, the overwhelming majority of americans of all races want some level of police reform. that's something we actually agree on. we can have conversations about in what way or have nuanced discussions. we can't have it if he is saying white people you are a huge derek chauvin fan club. that's not real! it's going to divide us when we agree and actually have a chance to unite on something we agree on. there are plenty of reasons to be pissed off in the world that are real.
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don't invent another one. >> the republicans that should be doing it, the democrats shot it down. >> it is hilarious. shut up. up next a reporter finds glory in a non-story. >> [cheers and applause].
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>> greg: he loved to tower over people without power? a slow new days? not if you are a partisan hack. a local reporter in utah tried to interview a paramedic who donated $10 to the rittenhouse
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fund. the reporter tweeted a picture of him knocking the door and teased that the story would be on the 10 o'clock news. it's more important than covid, crime, taxes and school. the door knock tactic is usually reserved for a corrupt politicians. at least take him on 5 tinder dates. what was the paramedic's crime donating $10 pucks to a local dense fund. this reporter showed up to ruin a life. when the media comes calling, don't answer unless it's us asking for kat videos. joe, it seems like the power of the media since the social media
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exploded, the media's job is not to hold people in power accountable. it's to hold people without power accountable. now it's anybody's game. >> it's terrible. your door bell rings and it's the media you would be better off if it was a flaming bag of [bleep]. >> [laughing]. >> the story is the data breach. we wanted his side of the story. the story is not a $10. wow, that ads up. you are talking 40 bucks. it's very embarrassing. we talked about responsibility for things you say. what will happen if people go to this guy's house. will this radio station take responsibility for that? they are bullying. it's very weird. trying to ruin people's lives just because they can and that's not right. >> it was because of a hack.
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that's not disputed. i remember when the "new york post" story was blocked by twitter and they said it was blocked because it came from a hack. this one definitely did come from a hack. that policy doesn't apply. >> greg: if the reporter got that name from a hack, that's his job? >> according to what twitter said when it's a conservative story it should not be on twitter. i don't know how it got there. >> greg: it's weird. he violated a number of things. i always wondered about this and i believe it is true. the only satisfaction reporters get now is the feeling of affecting somebody's life in a negative way. >> it's even shallower than that. it's kiddie pool shallow. they are writers trying to get a job on necks flicks.
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-- netflix. racist paramedic gave $10 so you click on it. i let the artist fly talking about illegal immigration. we didn't sneak over here. we were invited. i will be polite about it. it's how do i get my 6 part documentary? how can i get my own spot on the desk. the people who went after trump they got all desk jobs. doesn't matter if the story was true or false. they got point and clicks. it's not about the job anymore. real journalists don't get paid. >> greg: once biden got in they had to layoff all of these people that trump was employing by being so damn interesting. steve, have you donated any
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money to a fund that can come back to that you went you? >> yes, i won't reveal it tonight. when it happens to them, look how crazy. look at the blm leader just now in los angeles. no one went to her door. the fus over that. facebook and twitter took it down. it shows that the left can't stand it when the tactics they use to get their power are turned on them. you can't do this. like with boycotts. conservatives said we won't stop boycotting world organizations. that's cancel culture. >> i hate when someone uses my tactics again me. >> greg: i should disclose i gave money --
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>> we have the transcripts. >> greg: two guys i locked in a friers. i -- freezer. i can't find them. i am raising money for a search party. should you be allowed to legally sell your own organs? >> [cheers and applause]. liberty mutual customizes your car insurance so you only pay for what you need. thank you! hey, hey, no, no limu, no limu! only pay for what you need. ♪ liberty. liberty. liberty. liberty. ♪ (vo) ideas exist inside you, electrify you. they grow from our imagination, but they can't be held back. they want to be set free. to make the world more responsible, and even more incredible. ideas start the future, just like that.
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the lawsuit claims the law is unconstitution. you should be able to sell your liverine if you die once the transaction is complete. we need kidney prison reform. we could eliminate the black market for body parts and replace knock offs from the dollar store. i should have known that bladder was fake. it came in a pack of 12. kat, you are a libertarian when you say your whacky things. you are behind selling organs? >> absolutely. i can't believe you can't sell your organs. they belong to me!
quote
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you are right that it would get rid of the black market and there would be more affordable organs if it was legalized. i have the right to sell my kidney to a guy who wants it on his mantle. it's my kid me. >> greg: however! >> however nothing. greg the argument against organ selling is the same for sex work. the only people who do it, do it out of necessity. you are preying on people who don't have a choice. you would not sell your kidney unless you had to. >> would it help by putting them in jail? >> thank you. i am with you, greg, but at the same time it has to be regulated. if you are going to sell my kidney now but i live for
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another 20 years, does the price depreciate. is it like bit coin? i had pizza and 3 beers last night so the kidneys went down. think about the big picture. it's not like when you buy it. i want to purchase a kidney to put on my mantle. i will take it today. i already paid for. it check your venmo. i bring in buddies with hacksaws and wine. >> it's like repossessing the car. >> yes, organ apps. >> greg: if you don't make the payment i want my organ back and be placed back into my body. >> it's been used. depreciation. a 3-time kidney owner.
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>> greg: that's true. don't get an organ from a jaguar. i don't know if that makes any sense at all. it was a car joke. >> jaguars depreciate really fast. >> greg: steve, when you walk into the supermarket in america, there is auto trader. you could envision an organ trader magazine? >> yes, there is a market. i was upset to learn it is illegal to sell your organs for profit. this is america. why can't you make a profit? hang on, you could have a market here. sell someone's organs. >> organ broker? >> exactly. there is a whole set of opportunities. >> i am not crazy about trying
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to sell other people's organs? >> why not? >> greg: rich people will create a class of people purchased for spare parts. if you are elon musk you have 17 people you pay $100,000 a year to be on call for their kidneys. i think that's swell! >> there will be a clone afterest coming. i am prepared. i offered my organs on a lease to own basis. if you are not sure you can try them out. this is not the gold mine this guy thinks it is. i hope to keep some of my organs to myself. i don't want to get into the sperm bank. i thought you could do
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drive-through donations. they need better signs. >> what about someone brokering celebrities organs. they are not a -list anymore. they are like c. >> yeah. >> greg: we talked about this at a bar. cameo with poop. >> no, we did not. >> greg: yes, we did. there would be a line around the block. i am stepping off the train right now. >> that's more renewable than a kidney. >> greg: exactly. it's like compost. up next a historic fly over on mars. >> [cheers and applause]. saturdays happen. pain happens. aleve it.
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>> ♪ ♪ >> greg: they put a drone on mars. it was not jen psaki. >> [laughing]. >> greg: nasa flew a helicopter above mars around 3:30 this morning making it the first powered flight of an aircraft on another planet. at that hour some of the neighbors complained. the little 4 pound helicopter is called inginuity the worst stripper name ever. the flights will help nasa learn more about rocks by studying them from slightly further away. >> [laughing]. >> greg: the program manager said this is just a first flight. let's get back to work and have more flights.
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anything for a seat upgrade. i am right? for more -- you wrote that and i am ashamed. let's go to mars correspondent. >> i was sent here on a redeye in 2007. i don't think the bars are open. i am sure they are open where you are. that i am running out of lean cuisines. check out my, my space page and get may home. >> greg: i was hoping he was dead. we would go to him and he would be a corpse. what is interesting is how little people care about this. >> they didn't discover racism. >> [laughing]. >> they are still digging for that. when it's 10 feet up or a little
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trail it's still just a barren desert with no water and air. maybe you say we found a plant about some hair. right now it's still a place no one is going to any time soon. there is a giant red rock with nothing on it with trace element of a world that ended millions of years ago. it's like driving around the morgue. it's cool. hopefully the batteries don't run out. >> greg: they don't have a charger up there. steve it would have been wise to declare they found a racist on mars. cnn would go live 24/7. chris cuomo would be crying and don lemon would be going i knew it! >> i think people would be more
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interested if they had better names. they are boring. give them real names like fred. >> or lollipop. >> great stripper name. >> crinkles. >> greg: [laughing]. joe, this is important. you master space, you master everything. you know what i mean? >> yes, that is mastery. that little gnat. it looks like an impulls buy. the martians will play this goal. the last thing you want is
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something from 2021 coming up to your planet splitsing corners all over. >> greg: the ufo is actually covid. it's an alien that came down on an asteroid, cat. >> [laughing]. >> what if we found out a lot of minerals and like gold and silver is worthless. >> yes. >> greg: that should change everything. >> it could be, but it didn't. >> greg: could we unite against space aliens and hate them for being different? >> i have unrealistic
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expectations of what we would find since i saw space jam. >> greg: i never saw this movie. >> not surprised. >> greg: up next is the world ready for governor mcconaughey? >> [cheers and applause]. i don't just play someone brainy on tv - i'm an actual neuroscientist. and i love the science behind neuriva plus. unlike ordinary memory supplements, neuriva plus fuels six key indicators of brain performance. more brain performance? yes, please! neuriva. think bigger. bipolar depression. it's a dark, lonely place. this is art inspired by real stories of people living with bipolar depression. emptiness. a hopeless struggle. the lows of bipolar depression can disrupt your life and be hard to manage.
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>> ♪ ♪ >> greg: yes! just for kicks politics. a new poll has matthew mcconaughey with a double digit lead over greg abbott for texas governor. the star of those baffling lincoln suv commercials and 33% support abbott. they want to see matthew shirtless. who knows if he will run or has a shot at winning? he hasn't committed to anything official. mcconaughey said his experience as an actor could be an asset and will only do nude scenes as long as they are tasteful. he was snubbed for best song in magic mike.
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who can forget ladies of tampa? >> ♪ ain't no matter ♪ ♪ >> greg: it was like a modern-day let it be. >> [laughing]. >> greg: steve, i guess trump broke the mold. anything is possible. >> i am for it. it makes it more interesting. instead of the election just decide who will be the governor and the election is people can vote on which character we should be the governor in. i would vote for the wolf of wall street character. the vodka mar tinas until we pass out there. >> greg: i would have gone for dazed and confused.
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>> all right, all right. in high school you never get older. >> you could do impersonations. >> exactly. >> that was next level. >> i am impressed. >> [applauding]. >> greg: i can do a lot of impressions. >> let's go, buddy. ronald reagan started this party. president trump did this. when you are at a high level and actor guess into politics, people are excited because they feel like they know them which is a horrible mistake. they think they know the guy. he's done a good job of making you feel like although he is a superstar he is a regular guy you want to drink a beer with.
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the rock hints at it. people get excited. he is not a politician. he is different. >> greg: we hate our politicians. >> yes. >> greg: even a mediocre actor like kevin bacon. >> whoa! he is back. what is wrong with you. >> >> greg: i am sorry. >> foot loose, damn. remember what i said about your impersonations? i lied. i take it all back. >> greg: joe, what do you think about this segment? >> we will clean it up in post. i think about mcconaughey. can i see the bumper stick saying all right, all right, all right and another one that says all right, all right, all right. why not have him run? the only thing can i see being a stumbling block he was in a texas chainsaw massacre movie.
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it's hard to be governor of a state with the title being a massacre. we don't know where he stands on anything. why isn't we like him. i hate that we have to say about this the people running our country: it can't be any worse. >> greg: we all red pilled each other. the country runs itself. we got over the really bad stuff. so much show we are creating new bad things to drive us crazy to justify the politicians. >> his character in dallas buyers club would abolish the fda. he is doing well in the polls because he hasn't done anything yet. it's fun and games when you are just the all right, all right,
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all right guy. when he takes positions on stuff people will hate him. >> that could be the key. never say or do anything. >> greg: that's it. >> yes. >> greg: that's joe biden! >> where is he sitting right now? >> greg: he doesn't know. [laughing]. >> that house is huge. >> greg: where is hirnt. -- hunter? the person that will wins kaitlin jenner when they it recall the guy with the hair. >> what state are you talking about? >> california. >> governor newsom. >> gave him my hair. >> [laughing]. >> greg: don't move. more stuff after this.
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fasenra is designed to target and remove them. fasenra is not a rescue medication or for other eosinophilic conditions. fasenra may cause allergic reactions. get help right away if you have swelling of your face, mouth, and tongue, or trouble breathing. don't stop your asthma treatments unless your doctor tells you to. tell your doctor if you have a parasitic infection or your asthma worsens. headache and sore throat may occur. this is the sound of fasenra. ask your doctor about fasenra. if you can't afford your medication, astrazeneca may be able to help. bottom line is, mom's love that land o' frost premium sliced meats have no by-products. (his voice) “baloney!” (automated voice) has joined the call. (voice from phone) hey, baloney here. i thought this was a no by-products call? land o' frost premium. fresh look. same great taste.
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♪ ♪ see joe devito perform as a amazing stand up comedy, go to long island, governors. he is an amazing artist. now let's do this. ♪ ♪ >> meet the stars. >> it's amazing, i was out of the party this weekend because i love parties, everybody knows that. i couldn't believe who i ran into. he has been kind of sick, he had a heart valve replaced. but he is an amazing shape, just released a song with that dude from nirvana, the food fight or guide. kent to give his name either. dave grohl. but it's amazing, take a look at mick jagger. he is incredible for his age. he got up on stage, did a little shimmy shimmy. you know, he's great.
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it's incredible. he's got the energy of somebody at his age may be in his 60s. all right, set your dvrs overnights don't miss anything. "fox news at night" with shannon bream is next. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> shannon: hello and welcome to "fox news at night." i am shannon bream in washington. breaking tonight, first on-camera interview since leaving the white house. analysis straight ahead on his comments on the border, dr. anthony fauci, 2022-2024-and more. and the judge in the derek chauvin child drops a bombshell on day one. maxine waters says it's time for more confrontation. but a judge is now warning she

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