tv Projekt Zukunft Deutsche Welle April 11, 2021 9:30pm-10:01pm CEST
on the same side where you do the math i want you to write 3 words or 3 phrases that are qualities of yourself that you could ladley let the world see what are qualities of yourself or characteristics of yourself that you had out of your house to go see the world what are 3 things you glad that people see. and never going to the back of the net the back of the mass of these we normally don't let people see you know we don't talk about what you write those words as back a man asked. if we don't give men in boys starting with boys these tools to say i'm hurting in
a healthy way then we're going to keep losing them i believe and that's what we keep seeing. that's this does it is this is a question he says i'm. sure you hold on to something that you need to let go of but as i say that that question doesn't resonate when. have you felt most alone. i used to hear people say when i was young ok you know it's not a day go by that i don't think about this particular person and i uses where up and down if they will be why i'm not sure because you know you've experienced some type of death in your life time is just going experience in life you don't know somebody who's passed away but it just don't get you to sing after my brother prayers are got rid of prayers and then i like i lost everything like the laws every day my
place to stay in my car everything and then add became a person who was in a position in need and that many people go out every day i wake up like i have a flood of emotions that is go. like memories just like flashing through my the night here in like you magically like makes me say i got like break that every morning i wake up and i like got a break this last cycle like me felt like this if everything and any like getting up have to go like still put on this matter still put on this face still be this person who everybody knows being positive the renzo everybody in life you know it's and so. i'm really dreading the 28th. that's today and it's been on my mind like constant consequences i like. feeling like i want to just. be angry. and film like i want to just stay the facilitator mode and just you
know. it's a battle that i'm. well it's a not a solicitor right now no no i'm just. it's just a battle it's a mental battle. so you're not a facilitator right now you know we're here and. you know opportunity to receive great. i use or. there's no there's no time you have to wait for a special case just. we have to like sometimes craft those situations for us so. maybe he's going into the woods him in some trees would sticks like maybe it means taking a piece of paper and was markers and might i don't know it just requires us to like
look to that are to say. beautifully said. but. what's happening right now is opportunity for men to be human and to say all of my imperfection all of my. uniqueness i sometimes don't feel like i am everything i would they want to be. but i can take everything i got. elevated today i think that's what i think they want i think that what i felt in that space is that we could we could do this every week for an hour you know because so powerful for us.
mother is trying to engage her in play with her and then we just mother to not respond to baby. the baby very quickly picks up on us and then she uses all of her abilities to try and get the mother back she smiles at the mother. she wants because she's used the mother looking where she wants. the baby puts both hands up in front of her and says what's happening here. she makes that screeching sound. like come on why are we doing this. even in this. 2 minutes when they don't get the normal reaction they react with negative emotions turn away they feel the stress of it they actually anyone has control of
their posture or the stress that their experience. rocky run. relationships depend on the ability to repair the inevitable ruptures that occur when you lose touch how do you get back in touch with somebody who would pay for your he does it's in the name of manhood in the name of being a real boy or one of the boys. when a boy starts to register the loss of connection like that one year old baby might have lost touch and starts to have the feelings of the boss a voice comes in and says are you a baby you don't need that relationship. oh. yeah. i've looked him up front. about him a front for them i buy it and that's how it shames the registering of the feeling
of losing connection. and therefore the ability to act on those feelings and to restore the connection. so it makes the breaking relationship irreparable. once you interrupt or you impede humid relational passes. you set the stage for any form for pressure. the was a good thing for it undercuts what's essential was.
democracy rests on how it's a beautiful voice because if you don't have equal voice you can't resolve conflicts in a relationship you you bar depending on use of force who has more strength. my the person on the bottom can't have a force that is deemed worth listening to because you can't listen to that voice you keep doing what you're doing. then the person on top doesn't feel the feelings of the person on the bottom which you can see in this society right now all the time. and so what we're saying is we have a psychology that's maintaining the politics. and the politics is pendent on the psychology. and the other thing is if you premise manhood or masculinity on the gender binary it
when i saw as a child of an 18 or 19 year old israeli soldier a few years older than me yelling and shouting and insulting my father and my father couldn't response because if you responded it would probably be treated even worse maybe even physically beaten up then what does that create for me looking into this role model of a man and say well he can't do anything about this what does that do to me as a young boy and how that even traumatized me in saying this is the man i'm supposed to look up to. and i know in his silence he was protecting and protecting himself but this is that the complexity of this pretty horrible system this expectation that men stand up for their rights and stand up for protecting their children and others when in reality they're not able to do that within that system.
and. we see this every day is put students every morning at 3 am distin young men shells and sell them every day being humiliated standing in these sort of slaughterhouse with their heads down in obedience to that system of oppression just so that they would be able to board for that day and to bring enough money to buy bread for their families. there is a humiliation that these people experience that can only be manifested in violence either internally where they feel they're not mad enough they're not good enough. as an alj expression towards their wife's through or as their daughters even towards their sons it's a masculine occupation that the masculine laces an entire community.
especially when we talk about political energies for me to start masculine energies that are in this conflict how men relate to each other. political entities relate to each other. from my experience a see the way men relate to each other is a lot of doubt. we have friends you know we call them friends and these are the men we hang out with or we go bowling with but to save like you have intimate relationships between men it's very rare to see and this is because men are afraid of each other. how many relate to each other there is mistrust of fear of men relate to women there is mistrust and fear and the only way to express any form of relationship with the other is in how it relates to power and domination.
this is exactly what becomes manifested at the political level as well but the stimulus of israelis and their political i think these will trust each other it's all about who has more power than the other who presents a better argument than the other who has control over the other. this is the picture of the system that i think both men and women are entrapped. mean. crying when things
went for me you know in sports specific. it was very looked down upon him and her father was my father's friends are with that yes there would be times when i would get upset and i would i would tear up the cry and then very distinctly at the start of one season. i didn't have that problem anymore i just didn't cry the problem christian forgive. the problem to your father right the family pathologically rolls from generation to generation like a fire in the woods taking down everything in its path until one person in one generation has the courage to turn around and face the flame. what happened to me that is out probably get i get shouted down beaten down. for my insubordination for my insolence it was like that yeah.
in the border nation for your info yeah if i knew no father you know for sure. yeah i ask most of the man i see what kind of father did you have what kind of father do you want to be when you let me help you be that man. who says no to that . but most of us are making it up most of us are trying to do better than where we came from. where you want to say. right now if you were in front of you would you want to say to him. he. will. stand up to you know me go say look at me and i know say it again oh no. work no
deal whatever i want to feel doesn't matter that i missed the shot doesn't matter. here's the revolution you can teach a man to have love and so you can heal the wound at this connection you can teach a man how to show up and be responsible for the people around you can educate people out of this but it's not straightforward teaching because you have to also deal with the trauma i know chris i'd like to meet the fire on. an asylum 5 year old who's living inside him what do you feel if you look at him. heartbreak you know. going to. go on
a field open the back of your throat. tallow tell him out loud as i look at you my heart of prayer so i like a new way of heart is breaking yeah go. you know how much you're going to suffer. you don't deserve it yeah. i've missed you so but. you know we needs you we need you here and we want you here and i want you here. i want you as a part of me you know. both conservative what you just serve and that's what he did . one of the things i say to mr across the board is your feelings never left you you flatter them baby and here the
whole time just to the dish in instead of out and they'll be right there for you give men structure give men your conviction that they could do it and they can do it. ah. god. there is a pew research study in 2018 that show that although we say we value kindness and compassion the value of the morning women than we do with other we say we want men to talk about the other share these things it also should have found that women tend not to value men who are. boys especially are not just hearing the messages we tell them they're also seeing our behaviors and that
communicates something even more strongly. i think that that when it the roles of girls and women are to kind of be more consistent in what we're saying we value in voice and manner and again it's not about one list of another thought like oh value if you're sensitive over if you're much of that ballyhooing when men show up and bring themselves into the conversation when they show up openly and honestly and sometimes being honest and open it's going to mean that they're going to say things that we don't like the being of that person is not about only 50 things that we want them to say it's about them being of the tell us the truth and so i think you know can we handle the truth can we are we strong enough can we tolerate enough to really allow people to enter the conversation as they are because i think unfortunately we often we want to hear what we want to hear. it goes both ways i don't know that it's only advice for women and girls i think that's
also advice for just anyone who. wants to have healthy relationships to kind of be ready to. not always be told and to get exactly what we think we want and sometimes will be civil rights will be pleasantly surprised to get something more than what we were asking for expecting. that is a hard question when i joined the jam and no one spoke to me for a whole year nobody spoke harshly to me but they just didn't speak to me at all even though i went 6 times a week and i didn't dare shower their guesses about what i'm on. that last slowly but surely after
a year the women started to talk to me and after the women started talking to me then suddenly a man dared to say a lot of time whatever the how. rough the. fifty's latha sally field at the beginning of my transition i was totally convinced that i wanted to start with the major procedures at the you know to crack the cheney left so an. economic genitals breasts i wanted the gender reassignment surgery badly. i wanted the beard quickly i would shave a lot to get my ear to graduate and i was really stressed out and not in a healthy place mentally. i was trying to achieve a type of masculinity that i didn't even believe him and that i don't believe outward appearance makes you a man but i still felt i had to establish myself as a man.
shaped almighty all of a sudden i looked like a man almost a man but i didn't feel like being a man i really enjoyed being a woman and i didn't feel like giving up being over my body you know and the other thing. is that it was a gift to myself when i said i won't give it up. was . and it will go i'm in my place this is to our i'm trans that's my gender so when people ask if i'm a man or a woman i say i'm trans i was
a woman for 20 years and now i have a man's appearance but i'm somewhere in between that. the rule. of. the solution is within us we're all born with a voice and we're all born with a desire to engage responsibly with other people so basically let's clear out the impediments because we have the human capacities that are necessary to solve the problems that we collectively face right now and one of the things that's really getting in the way because he mobilizing basic with a snow capacity is better integral to solving whether it's climate change or
poverty or inequality or fascism human problems. we can either make it not an anomaly and build connection and then building a ship and then build build more real be more vulnerable to each other having the more we have this new generation recognize the kinds of caring and loving how of those being alpha trains. to submit how we just be a kind caring loving community where we don't judge and harm each other. good being power for food for us and in the relationship breaks the back of patriarchy. 'd being relational that's what we're born for being relational this is how we are designed and this is how we function best and that's the pearl of great price is the only thing that will be of the
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this is g.w. news that live from vote counting is underway in chad's presidential election incumbent it just debby is expected to extend his role also coming up. the battle to succeed and most hold. 2 men declared fix to lead the conservatives in germany as election. and printing out revolution activists in myanmar are putting pen to paper to get their message out after an internet shutout.