tv The Daily Show With Trevor Noah Comedy Central April 12, 2022 1:14am-2:00am PDT
back with a live audience. thank you, thank you. take a seat. wow. take a seat. we're back, sit down, sit down. thank you so much. wow. this is fun. i have missed you guys. i have missed you. [cheers and applause] >> trevor: you know. i'm so sorry we were separated for two years. in hindsight, i shouldn't have left that tupperware open in wuhan. my bad. the important part is, we're all here together again, and the reunion sex is gonna be amazing. it's been awhile. it's comedy. don't worry. no sex, nothing has changed. we've got a great show tonight. ben stiller is here to talk about his
-- and we are celebrating ketanji brown jackson. but first let's jump to the read headlines. let's kick things off in washington tv. the most famous statue of a guy watching tv. also it's the home of america's most elite covid out break. >> and turning to the pandemic government officials testing positive for covid is growing longer. >> last weeks grid iron dinner was the source of the out break. we have learned 67 attendees have tested positive. ten percent of the total crowd. >> house speaker nancy pelosi's positive covid test today came less than 24 hours after she was standing next to president biden for a bill signing. that interaction
followed this one on tuesday, when the 82- year-old kissed the president. >> white house director kate bedingfield said it is possible that president biden will ultimately test positive for covid. >> i do think it's important to note that, you know, it is possible he will test positive for covid at some point. the president is certainly living his life. traouf>> trevor: you hear that e president is living his life. ya, he's getting kissed by pelosi. he's hitting the clubs. he's calling out madison where is the orgy. it's a savoringy everyone is wearing masks. yes, covid is ripping through washington dc right now. it's nice to see a capitol being over ran by something that doesn't smear feces in nancy pelosi's office.
nobody is getting really sick. a big difference between now and the beginning of the pandemic. the other difference is that now when covid sweeps through a house full of old people, andrew cuomo isn't around to cover it up. s it a change moving forward. we can't let our guard down with covid. the vaccines is one of the best defenses you. have i hope you remember that, stay safe. covid is no joke. [cheers and applause] >> trevor: in fact tell the person next to you, pull down your mask. stay safe. stay safe. also i shouldn't have to say that why are we kissing our co workers. it's not necessary. alright. not now, not ever. in the history of jobs, no on has need a kiss from a co-worker. nobody is in the office, i work so hard but my boss wouldn't smoosh his wet lips across my
cheek. it's toxic. he was just like thank you. s with the kiss. but let's move on to the big entertainment news. it has been two weeks since the craziest oscars moment in living memory. yeah, i still can't believe house of gucci didn't win best hair and makeup. the whole movie was hair and makeup! how did they not win. the craziest thing at the oscars. i almost forgot. there was the moment will smith introduced his hand to chris rock's face. >> it was the slap heard across the world. and after slapping chris rock during the oscars, actor will smith has been banned from attending any academy events for the next decade. >> the academy issued a statement yesterday saying this, in part, the 94th oscars were meant to be a celebration of the many individuals in our community who did incredible work this past year.
however, those moments were overshadowed by the unacceptable and harmful behavior we saw mr. smith exhibit on stage. >> the board's move will keep smith from attending, presenting or performing at the oscars. it won't bar him from being nominated or even winning an academy award in the future. and he gets to keep the one he has now. >> trevor: damn, will smith has been banned from the oscars for ten years. ten years. realize by then i am legend will be real life. although i will say this, i will say this. when i first read the headline i thought the worst punishment. ten years. then i got into the details. i realize he gets to keep the oscar and he can win oscars even though he's banned. in many ways this isn't a punishment it's a favor. will smith doesn't have to go to the ceremony. he doesn't have to get dressed
up, sit through boring awards. best punctuation in the digital recycled film. kill me. he doesn't have to pretend to be happy when he loses. i wish i could be banned from the emmys. aoeufr year i have to go and act like i might beat john oliver. it's a nice mayor. it's not going to be me. [cheers and applause] >> trevor: it's john oliver. i also think they should of consulted chris rock for the punishment. if will is going to the oscars that's four hours he knows where will is. now he could be anywhere. i don't think they should of banned him. i think they should of hired him to replace the wrap it up music they play at a ward shows. ya. do you know how quickly winners will finish their speeches when they see will smith watching
them from the side of the stage. and i just want to thank my agent and my publicist and my agent's publicist. i'm done, i'm done. i'm done, i'm done. the main thing is we can move on and stop talk about the slap. the punishment is out. man made a mistake. let's move on. move on. now we can get back to talk ing about the slap that pushed off the front stage. the war in ukraine. let's move on and talking about that. as russian troops receive western ukraine, it appears pugh tin will be focused on the eastern regions on russia's border. for the latest show of support for ukraine.
support for ukraine, british prime minister boris johnson met with ukrainian president volodymyr zelenskyy on the streets of war-torn kyiv. and it's crazy that even though he's wearing a full suit, boris is somehow the one who looks like he's being kept up at night by russian bombs. but while the rest of world is focused on the ukrainian victim of putin's war many instagrammers feel to be the victims. >> over 600 companies have withdrawn their businesses from russia so far. some like chanel even refusing to sell products to russians abroad unless they confirm they won't use those products in russia. enraged russian influencers posted videos showing them cutting up their chanel bags in protest. >> s they do not respect their clients. why do we respect channel house. >> hey. ya, on the lit lift of people i feel bad for.
russian influencers is right at the top. at the top for me. we have seen the economic pressure is having an effect that. instagram model can't buy pants any more. the saeufrpgers are clearly working. i'm confused when people protest companies by destroying stuff they bought. channel, i will show you. i cut my bag. channel has your money. this doesn't hurt channel. you thinker you cut up that percent coco channel is feeling it like ray designer voodoo dahler. they are cutting me. i feel it in my heart. no it's living bring me more champagne. i'm dead, bring me champagne. that's it for the head hraoupbz. before we go let's check in on the traffic record, everybody. yes, what is going on.
[cheers and applause] >> yes. we are ready to take a quick look at the roads. let me ask you a question about the, the whole covid thing in dc. > trevor: democrats getting covid? >> they're just now getting covid. >> trevor: ya. >> they missed the sympathy window. why take it this long -- you're suppose to get covid in the six or seven months you get thoughts and prayers. people care about you. i call it original recipe, way back in the day. the sympathy window is important. you get covid now nobody gives a damn. it's living dandruff, nobody cares. keep the sh [beep] off me and i will see you tomorrow. that's all it is. i'm trying to understand it. i don't understand it, man. here is others thing, covid. the name covid, we will get to that in a second. part of the problem with the
vaccination shit man nobody is scared of the name covid. you control americans with fear. we were done with covid. should of called it sky aides. >> trevor: sky aides. >> vaccination would be 97%. if you new aides was in the air you wouldn't be here. why am i here right now? >> trevor: people like watching the news and traffic on the fuse. >> at night they like the traffic at night? >> trevor: they watch traffic all the time, roy. >> why trust a guy on tv about the traffic. you have a tv in your pocket. you have a telephone -- if you have anything pass a i phone two, you don't need me. me and van na white we're a sca. >> trevor: tell us the traffic, roy. i'm trying to make a news show,
roy. >> if you want better traffic stay home. you're part of the problem when you leave the house. look at the groan. they're happy, not part of the problem. wrong bam, they hit the red. now the people up top, i'm smart going this way. wrong, red bitch. i feel sorry for the people in the center. i foal sorry for the people stuck in traffic more than anyone now catching covid two and a half years into it. [laughing] >> trevor: we are going to work on this. roy, everybody! [cheers and applause] >> trevor: now you know what is happening in the traffic. when we get back we get judgey with ketanji brown jackson. you don't want to miss it, people. [cheers and applause]
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getting a fresh new face. >> judge ketanji brown jackson cementing her place in history. the first black women confirmed to the u.s. supreme court. >> this nomination is confirmed. >> cheers erupting in the chamber. president biden watching the final tally come in with the judge by him side. >> this nomination is confirmed. >> alright, okay. trevor: wow. oh, wow. this is exciting. finally a black women will be on the supreme court. [cheers and applause] >> trevor: wow. this is happening just in time
for the court to eliminate all rights for black people and women. what a moment. is incredible. she will be the most powerful black woman in the country to have her opinions entirely dismissed by co workers. this is huge. anyone who wonders the impact ketanji brown jackson will have. well she made history from the moment she was confirmed. >> as democrats rose with applause, republicans went to the door. mitt romney of utah the only gop senator clapping. >> trevor: really. really. [booing] >> trevor: first kudos to mitt romney. [cheers and applause] yes, man. [cheers and applause] >> trevor: he's like, just decorum, you know. oh, those are the assholes. the first black woman since this country was founded is confirmed to the supreme court.
you can't find it in you to stay and clap. just clap. just like a -- you don't have to throw panties on the stage. just show respect. those republicans ran out of the room like someone was handing out free n. word passes in the lobby. oh boy, i always wanted to say that word, in public. why would you leave? nobody leaves. why would you leave? the first black women and you leave. luckily the republicans couldn't spoil this historic moment. it's not every day a black person gets sent to a court they actually believe in. deserve to be in. friday kbj took her history lap. >> centuries in the making. >> it has taken 232 years and
115 prior appointments for a black woman to be selected to serve on the supreme court of the united states. [cheers and applause] >> but we have made it. >> jackson a history maker and barrier breaker reciting the poetic words of maya angelou. >> i am the dream and the hope of a slave. >> and casting this is a moment in which all americans can take great pride. >> we have come a long way toward perfecting our union. in my family, it took just one generation to go from segregation to the supreme court of the united states. [cheers and applause] >> trevor: mmmm "from segregation to the supreme court." that was a line. i almost feel if you're a black person that succeeds you have
double the pressure on you. you don't have to just perform. you have to come up with dope lines when you get the job. from segregation to the supreme court. what. that was powerful. the quote from maya anglou. especially when you think of bret kavanaugh's celebration when he quoted the words of captain more began. and by the way, props to president biden for rocking those aviators. yeah way to make a historic moment look like a deleted scene from top gun. you know biden only breaks those out when he's feeling his swagger. or his eyes are bleeding again you never know. i didn't make his eyes bleed. for more on the historic nomination of ket an jeong brown jackson let's turn to our supreme court expert. dulce sloan everybody. dulce. >> hello. trevor: i know you're at the
supreme court right now. how are you feeling about this historic news? >> fine, i guess. wharb san diego. >> trevor: wait that's it, you're feeling fine? >> trevor, i'm devastated. i know homegirl earned this but deep down, i was hoping *i * would be the first black woman on the supreme court. >> trevor: no offense dulce, but why would you be qualified to be a judge on the supreme court? >> i'm not qualified? i've been judging people my whole life! family. friends. strangers. dogs. don't mess with dogs. i'm judging everybody. i'm judging people who ask me for directions. people who can't use chopsticks.
people who can't calculate a tip. move the decimal point one way it's not hard. i judge kitten heals. >> trevor: what's wrong with kitten heals. >> a heal or a flat. a tiny heal means you're unstable and can't make up your mind. i have prepared for this job since i came out of the womb. okay. >> trevor: i didn't know you were vestd in getting on the supreme court. >> i know you weren't. i'm judging you for that. >> trevor: no, i know you're disappointed. but ketanji brown jackson is one of the most tkwaul fied candidates in the history of the process. >> of course she is. she had to be. okay. she's a black woman named ketanji. she has had to break glass ceilings and teach white people how to say her name since day
one. i don't want to come across as a hater. >> if it can't be me i'm glad it was her. >> trevor: good, dulce. i think you would make a great second female black justice. >> second. what! no, no. nobody cares who is second. that's not a black history fact. if i can't be the first black female judge i'm not interested. now i have a second goal. be the first black female judge on "judge judy." [ applause ] >> trevor: wait, think only judge judy can be the judge on judge judy. >> why, was she is white? jeff: no, dulce, chase your dreams. dulce sloan. will you do it. the future judge judy. when we come back ben stiller is joining me. here don't go away.
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applebee's irresist-a-bowls are back. now starting at $8.99. now that's eatin' good in the neighborhood. >> trevor: welcome back to the daily show. with human beings. they're all human. they're all here. my guest tonight is emmy award-winning director, producer and actor, ben stiller. he's here to talk about his thrilling hit series "severance". >> so, it's tomorrow now? >> ya. well, it's monday. >> a weekend just happened. yes. >> i don't feel i left. >> that's now nights and weekends feel here. >> like nothing. >> you get use to it i find it helps to focus on the effects of sleep since we don't actually experience it. you may feel rejuvenated or happy. less tins in the shoulders, spry. >> so it's 9:05. >> ya, they stagger the entries
too so we don't meet on the outside. it's important apparently. >> trevor: please welcome ben stiller. [cheers and applause] >> trevor: oh, man. [cheers and applause] >> trevor: you okay. you good. [cheers and applause] >> thank you. revor: you good? >> ya, you will edit that out. trevor: we will do another one, nobody will know that you fell. nobody will know. ben stiller, welcome to the "daily show." >> how are you. trevor: good to see you. so long i have seen you in person. four years ago. like forty. >> s it feels like a million years ago. it feels like a long time ago
and still everything just happened. you were talk about the weirdness about approaching covid and where we are in covid. you were spot on. it's so unclear. >> trevor: we are floating. yes. trevor: i know you didn't make this show based on covid. really, for those who haven't watched it. i don't say this lightly. watch this show. i promise it's one of the best shows you will watch. it's amazing. >> thanks. [ applause ] >> trevor: let's start with that. the new ben stiller. moody director. i like this. i didn't see this in you as a person. you always think of ben stiller the comedian. >> right. trevor: the funniest movies. >> my inner circle knows me as moody. you know it's been fun to direct and not act. i love, i have always wanted to direct since i was a kid.
like i was ten years old. i have done it over the years and act also. this has been fun the last now years. i loved this piece of material. the script that dan erickson wrote. he had nothing produced up until this point. >> trevor: i find that hard to believe. >> s he's a brilliant writer working to get his work seen. someone in the company saw it i read it, it was amazing. that was five years ago. it took a little while. it has been fun. we made it totally in a bubble in the pandemic. we were about to shoot six weeks, we were six weeks from shooting when the pandemic hit. we stopped for a sefpblgtd it has been so, now in the world, to have people interact with it, it's satisfying. it felt like we were doing it for ourselves. >> trevor: i felt everything was like that during the pandemic. you felt it was just you. you wake up and do your thing and do it again. you're in a bubble.
>> you're doing comedy, jokes, nobody is in the room. >> trevor: nothing. >> how can you tell if you're funny. >> trevor: i couldn't. i just became a crazy person. >> do you th-rpbg it made you funniest. you didn't care. >> trevor: maybe, maybe in a way to go to theory for. >> i understand. trevor: i wonder if covid affected the show. i don't want to spoil it for everyone who has the watched it. you learn quickly, it's a show where people find a way to severe their world and memories from their work world and memories. people go to work and don't remember anything that happens. at work they don't remember anything happening in life. when you watch it felt covidy. it's living a perfect show for the time. >> it felt like that when we made it also. we were shooting at a stage in the bronx actually. we would go there and go into the testing tent. then walk into the studio. it was a five minute walk down
white hallways. >> trevor: hilarious. >> then get to the studio and the set was white hallways we walked down. then we leave at night, nobody would see each other then come back and test. >> trevor: it's beautiful. >> thanks, man. revor: every shot you have feels intentional. sometimes you watch a show and the show is great, the cast is great, maybe terrible as well, whatever. sometimes you watch a show like this, the cast is amazing. you know. the setting is phenomenal. the way you shoot it feels intentional. you will hold shots for a long time. sometimes it feels like you want us to feel a certain way. you have ever worked in a shitty office, that's what i wondered? >> i have worked as an intern. the worst job i had, it wasn't that bad. i was a talent intern on a talk show. >> trevor: that's bad depending on the talent. >> i had to take care of the stars that came in. i was in college, it was "thick
of the night" alan thicke had a talk show. i walked charleston heston to his car or lend money and never get it back. i worked in the camera -- i never worked in the office, the drudgery. mainly from watching television. >> trevor: you capture it. >> dan the writer did that. he worked many of the jobs and took his frustration and put it into his work. >> trevor: you feel it. yes. trevor: you watch the show and this reminds you of it. my mom worked most of her life in a office. she couldn't afford child care and put me under the desk. i come home from school and go under the desk. don't worry about me i had a great time. i remember watching people in the cubes thinking is this life i would love to know what you are trying to make us feel as the audience? >> for me it's honestly these
characters are human beings in a weird abnormal situation. i did a prison show before this, it's kind of similar in that people are human beings. no matter what environment you're in. there is humanity to the characters. they don't know who they are. they're almost like children. they have only been cognizant for a few years. they're trying to figure out who they are. that's interesting. the idea of the memories and emotions that seep through if you're severed. does love transcend. >> trevor: does this mean we have lost you as ben stiller the comedy guy? >> no. trevor: i heard a ummm. >> i was thinking. you will edit that when i walked out. >> trevor: the falling nobody will see it. >> no more comedy guy. no i love acting and doing comedy. it's been awhile since i decided to do it. i would love to do it in the
future. it's figuring out how to jump back in. >> trevor: i felt you were in your own comedy movie. the clip of you and the australian tennis player. he was talking to someone else in the crowd. >> it was the weirdest thing. we were in the front row, indial wells tennis. basically what happened it was nick kirios. he talks to himself during the matches. he was saying, man, get your first serve in. a gentleman next to me decided to tell him, ya, get your first serve in. nick turns and said, why are you talking to me? are you a good tennis player. the guy says no. he locks at me and says do i tell him how to afpblgt i didn't quite hear it i thought he was talking to me. it was weird. then that was it. apparently it went viral.
>> trevor: some people understood what happened. most people thought you had beef with the tennis player. you're sitting there smiling. it was like a scene from a movie. >> i wasn't sure what to do. people were like he let you have it. no, i don't know, i think he's good. >> trevor: your life has been a constant journey we have shared with you. thank you for all you do, thank you for making us laugh and brightening our days. >> thank you. revor: it's a pleasure seeing you. [cheers and applause] >> trevor: season one of "severance" is available to stream on apple tv plus. okay, we're gonna take a quick break, but we'll be right back after this. xfinity mobile runs on america's most reliable 5g network, but for up to half the price of verizon, so you have more money for more stuff. this phone? fewer groceries. this phone? more groceries!
[cheers and applause] >> trevor: that's our show for tonight, but before we go: the un refugee agency has stepped up operations in ukraine and neighboring countries to help the millions of people who have been forced to flee. if you can, please donate at the link below to help provide life saving protection to ukrainian refugees. until tomorrow stay safe out
there. remember if you're a russian who doesn't want your channel bag, send them to me. i will cut them for you. here it is your moment of zen. >> it's a loop with a view. this bathroom at a japanese cafe is going viral it's surrounded by an aquarium. look at that. how cool. can you imagine if a fish locks eyes with you though. >> then you get stage fright. >> i can't go now. captioning made possible by comedy central - ♪ i'm going down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna have myself a time ♪ both: ♪ friendly faces everywhere ♪ ♪ humble folks without temptation ♪ - ♪ i'm going down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna leave my woes behind ♪ - ♪ ample parking day or night ♪ ♪ people spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪ - ♪ headin' on up to south park ♪ ♪ gonna see if i can't unwind ♪
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mkay, quiet now. the assembly is about to start, mkay. quiet, mkay. [loud feedback] - [kids screaming] - mkay. uh, now kids, we have a really fun motivational group today who are gonna talk to you about the dangers of smokin', mkay. so please give a very big south park cows welcome to: butt out. - woo-hoo! - all right! - get those hands up! ♪ butt out yeah, yeah ♪ ♪ give that cigarette butt a throw ♪ ♪ butt out uh-huh ♪ ♪ smoking's got to go ♪ - oh, no. - yeah! - woo-hoo! - hey, students. how are we all feeling today? wooo! - hey, did you guys know that each year over 600,000 people a year die from smoking? a year. - 600,000? are you sure you're not just blowing smoke? [laughing]
- blow smoke, us? no way. because we don't need to smoke and neither do you, right, kids? butt out. break it down. [beat-boxing] all: butt out. yeah yeah. it's cool to say no. butt out. uh-huh. smoking's got to go. [beat-boxing] - smokin', no. no smokin'. - freestyle. - vernon. - chi-stop. cha-cha chi-chi. don't smoke. don't ever smoke. all: kyle. - b- to the u- to the t- to the... - dude, this is unbearable. - i'm going to kill myself. - to the e- to the t- to the t- to the e. butt out, cigarettes. all: randy. - smoke you know has got to go. you go to know, you gotta say... - aaagh. - pam. [imitating tire squeal] [crash] [screeching] - dooon't smoooke. - woo hoo! - all right! - you guys, kenny's eating his own hand. - hey, what's the big deal? i like smoking, and it makes me cool. - oh, really?
do you think lung cancer is cool too? - what about emphysema? is that cool? - and what about abortion and aids? - that's nones the cool. - word. - yeah, so butt out. ♪ butt out yeah, yeah ♪ ♪ give that cigarette butt a throw ♪ - agh, jesus christ. ♪ smoking's got to go ♪ - remember, kids, if you smoke, you could grow up to be a failure. - worse yet, you could grow up to be dead. - so don't believe what those evil tobacco companies tell you. - yeah, because if you don't smoke you can grow up to be-- all: just like us. - [coughing] - here, here, give me another one. give me another one. - oh, dude, this is really hard. - oh [bleep], here comes mr. mackey. - throw 'em away. - [coughing] - dude, here he comes. we gotta stop coughing. - boys, what are you doing back here? i asked you a question. what are you doing back here, mkay?