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tv   The Daily Show With Trevor Noah  Comedy Central  November 8, 2021 11:00pm-11:45pm PST

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and i did it. and now i'm thrilled. [chuckling] so it's pretty-- hello? pretty good. trevor: happy delight saving time, everybody. that's the worst thing america ever did. and i'm remembering all the wars. daylight saving is horrible. my body and brain is not made for it. i always wanted to do time travel but this is the shittiest version of it. set your clocks, do you want the night -- we just accept the sun is changing position in the rest of the world. america is classic what if we could change time? but you don't you just make life horrible and i don't know which clock is correct. there are clocks i have changed i haven't changed and then i
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think change themselves but they haven't and then i change them and i'm actually super behind but not like evened, just two hours behind. do you know how weird it is? i'll be in the kitchen and get on a phone call and when i look at the microcafe i'm like, shit i have been talking two hours! no i haven't up, the time just didn't change. i would bet half of the murders in america come from daylight saving. you need to stop this h. what if you murder someone when the clock jumps back. what if you time it well, did you murder the person? there's an hour that's missing. you go to jail for that? i'm asking for a friend -- but i need the answer now. ♪ >> coming to you from the heart of times square in new york city the only city in america it's "the daily show." tonight, islands are going extinct. aaron rodgers brawl and spike
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lee! this is "the daily show" with trevor noah! ♪ ♪ >> trevor: hey! what's going on, everybody? wish welcome to "the daily show" and i'm trevor noah. joining me for today's headlines is my good friend michael kosta. what's going on? >> feeling good. i've got a great seat. >> trevor: it's the only seat. >> front row seat watching you perform. >> trevor: i appreciate that. >> i'll take notes and email them afterward but this is a great seat. >> trevor: notes about like what i'm doing? >> positive feedback. >> trevor: enjoy it more and don't worry about the criticism. >> right yeah. >> trevor: we're doing this together. this is sort of like sex we're both in it and i appreciate that you appreciate me and i'm trying to appreciate you but if you send me e-mails afterwards, no. >> that's true. that's been one of the issues i've had in previous relationships. >> trevor: e-mailing after sex. >> e-mailing after sex. >> trevor: we live and learn.
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>> thank you for helping me today. >> trevor: let's do it. let's get into today's headlines. we kick things off with climate change, humanity's way of getting revenge on the titanic iceberg. some of the biggest victims of climate change are actually going to be island nations which could be completely swallowed by rising sea levels. one of these nations is trying to call attention to this danger. >> one world leader demonstrating the impact of climate change on his home. toov loo's foreign minister recording his negligence in knee high waters. island nations like his are vulnerable to climate change. some world leaders are asking if weathery industrialized nations should pay reparationings for damages already caused by climate change? >> trevor: a powerful image. next time, i wouldn't be smiling. it doesn't have the same effect. it is powerful. island nations can't survive if
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everybody is in waste-deep water. it's a terrible thing. i mean there's one benefit and you can pee whenever you want and nobody will know but that won't make up for the other problems. i hope a message like this will spur the world to take action especially rich first world nations because if these slanders sink a lot of tax haven money will drown. i know what you're thinking this if this means staten island goes away forever it's worth it, trevor. no, we need to protect all islands. without them, there's no dream vacations, no rihanna no cool runnings no season openings of the white lotus. what will they watch? the succession? i guess but that's bun less show. >> those are my two favorite tv shows. did you mention that? >> trevor: i literally said that now. >> i feel like white people love
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those shows. >> trevor: that's what i was saying. >> do you find it interesting he had the blue screen behind him in the water? was he trying to change his zoom background? doesn't he know most people make their background a beautiful beach or the ocean? >> trevor: i think if you live in the place you rye to do the opposite background. >> he would do a city. >> trevor: he would do a tiny apartment in, no as his background. >> that's an interesting commentary we all want what's not right in front of us, you know. >> trevor: it's powerful. it's a observation we have. >> there's a small observation i made and you bring up a great point about smiling. i think that image would be more effective if there was terror on their face. >> trevor: that's what i said. >> i'm absorbing from this seat. >> trevor: thank you michael. >> yes. >> trevor: all right let's move on to our next story which is about elon musk, c.e.o. of tesla, and jeff bezos on molly. as the world's richest man musk gets a lotted of perks in his
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life. he has his own special space force, he can invent a new language to name his baby and watch hulu without the ads. another big thing about being super rich is musk basically never has to at pay taxes because all of his money is in assets like stocks, he doesn't actually earn an income from doing his job, so he doesn't have to pay income tax. right now there's a movement in congress to tax wealth instead of income because of situations like this. and elon musk hates this idea like it's paper currency. unlike most super wealthy people who will quietly pay off a senator behind the scenes, musk took his fight to twitter and hosted a poll asking whether he should sell 10% of his shares in tesla which would earn him about $25 billion, which he would then have to pay taxes on. and i mean even that, people, even that just shows you how wild it is to be a billionaire. you hold a poll on twitter that
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says, should i pay taxes? you normal people try doing that shit, the i.r.s. will be at your house, you send that tweet? what? how did elon's poll go? he's definitely paying something. >> twitter has spoken. elon musk asks millions of twitter users if he should sell 10% of his tesla shares and results are in, nearly 48% said yes, 42% said no. >> tesla down big after elon musk asked twitter users whether he should sell 10% of his stock. that's taking 4 or 4.5% out of tesla. >> trevor: yeah, because of elon's tweet tesla's stock crashed instantly which should be a lesson. you never take financial advice from random-ass users on twitter. that's what reddit is for. at the same time, i find this kind of refreshing. elon musk is unpredictable but he's the only c.e.o. who's
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having a good time. he's running tesla but also the mascot. it's almost as if the pillsbury doughboy was the c.e.o. him going around the office telling people to touch his belly button. hoo hoo! don't tell h.r. about this! you realize if he pays taxes on this that will be billions of dollars for the united states government at one. i hope you voted in the election last tuesday but i really really hope you voted in elon's twitter poll because that my friends is clearly the vote that really matters. did you vote? >> i didn't vote, but i feel for those astronauts flying on a spacex rocket ship whose toilet broke and they're wearing diapers shitting in their own pants going i wish someone would fix the toilet, what's our c.e.o. doing? sending out a twitter poll? i think this is a cry for cash.
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there's a difference between wealth and having money and i think he's broke man. >> trevor: you think he's cash broke? >> i think if you go to applebys with elon musk he can't split appetizers with you. he'll smile and go, i'm elon musk. we need $11 dude. i've got stock options. where's your (~bleep~) money dude that's what i'm saying. do you know what i mean? >> i guess. >> trevor: who's on twitter polls? come on. what do children not have? money. do you see how i drew that conclusion? >> yes i do. >> perfectly. >> trevor: yeah. that's a really interesting way of seeing things. >> thank you. >> trevor: glad i have you here michael. finally, let's talk about joe biden, president of the united states of and baby boomer with gen z teeth. after a rough few month biden had a pretty good weekend. congress finally passed his big infrastructure bill, the economy added more than half a million new jobs, and daylight savings
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means it's not as weird when he falls asleep at 5:00 p.m. unfortunately for biden the story most are talking about is this one. >> camilla duchess of cornwall can't stop talking about president biden's faux pas in glasgow at the conference last week. he passed forward her claiming his own emissions were long, loud and impossible to ignore. >> trevor: passing wind is farting. yes, joe biden farted, that's what he did. british people are so fancy. he passed wind. where did he pass it? sounds like you're going past it. no he passed wind, we have a word for that, fart. can you blame joe biden? blame british cuisine. you can't serve a 78-year-old man baked beans for breakfast and asked shocked when he blows the door off the hinges.
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joe biden can't be happy about the fart and news of the fart getting out. no matter how powerful you are once you fart, no one takes you seriously. jesus could come back today but if he fartt in the middle of it he would have to chill in heaven another 2,000 years before we forget. by the way of all people the british royal family has no right judging anybody about anything especially not a fart. you're the last people who can judge. (british posh) good heavens! president biden farted? i have to tell my uncle who is my husband about this, as soon as he gets back from jeffrey epstein's sex island. i would have been going yeah, yeah i farted, it wasn't the mistake. i saw the crown that fart was for deanna. >> america believes in farting.
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>> trevor: that's what i love about this country. >> and england it's, like, not proper to fart. that's why you look at so many of the royalty their face is like -- they're holding it in. but america we believe in the freedom to fart. that's why the american flag is always waving. that's how george washington crossed the delaware. the at that chew of liberty the torch is eternal because they hooked a hose from her butt hole all the way up to the torch. >> trevor: i don't know if that's true. >> it's true. >> trevor: but i'm glad you are proud. >> i'm proud of the american farts. >> trevor: that's powerful. >> it's like the nation, powerful. like the -- you know what i mean? i think we solved it, dude. thank you. >> trevor: well, thank you michael. and thank you so much for being here. i look forward to your email. all right, that's it for the headlines. don't go away. when we come back, we'll find out what "sesame street" thinks about covid. pretty controversial. >> our islands are in danger. the world must act now to reduce
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emissions from coal, oil and presidents ( passing gas ) america must reduce bind emissions to 30% of their 1990 levels or else our islands will drowned. please america tell joe biden to hold it in because silent is still deadly. (vo) singing, or speaking. reason or fun. daring or thoughtful. sensitive, or strong. progress isn't either or progress is everything.
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day♪ let's talk about the covid vaccine. it's bill gates' dumbest idea ever. he's giving pretending to be upset that you couldn't go to your cousin's destination wedding in cancun. now that the vaccines are out the world is slowly opening back up again including as of this morning, america. yeah, that's right. america is open for tourism again, which means come on in,
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everybody! but, but but but -- before you get on that plane there are some rules. >> the u.s. today will reopen its borders to international visitors as long as they are fully vaccinated. people frommore than 30 countries will be allowed to travel to the u.s. as long as they show proof of vaccination and a recent negative covid test. coronavirus restrictions have kept the crossings closed for nearly 20 months. exceptions include travelers under age 18 and those from countries with low vaccination availability. >> trevor: wow! that is a -- that's a boatload of countries. there's a list of 50? okay maybe just me, but this is a little confusing. they're saying the virus is so deadly, so deadly you can't come to america unless you're vaccinated but also, if you don't have the vaccine no biggie! i mean, the policy's a little all over the place no? seems like dr. fauci and nicki
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minaj work together on a group project. the only other time you see this project is from a bouncer at a nightclub. we got no room! totally full man! back up, no room! come on in, ladies. good to see you girl. you're looking good. hey, man! what did i tell you? no room! it's a fire hazard, b! this rule seems to be more about feelings than actual public health. clearly the biden administration is trying to balance public safety with not looking like you're banning shithole countries because now you're in a conundrum. do you let unvaccinated people into the u.s. even though that's more of a risk, or do you look racist? either way it's a problem that could have been averted if america had shared its vaccines instead of having six vaccines for every man woman and emotional support animal. i'm just saying. one person who definitely
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doesn't have the vaccine is the quarterback of the green bay packers, aaron rogers. rogers came down with covid which is how everyone knew he wasn't vaccinated. he tried a homeopathic treatment instead of getting the vaccine. in the pre-season he said -- >> are you vaccinated and what's your stance on vaccinations? >> yeah, i'm immunized. >> trevor: not vaccinated, immunized. pretty slippery answer, looking back at it. like your girl asking if you're wearing a condom and you put on a bike helmet and say yeah, yeah i'm wearing protection. after the news broke people wondered why did aaron rodgers refuse to get vaccinated and hide it from everyone. he went on a podcast saturday to give everyone his story. >> i'm not some sort of anti-vax flat earther. i am somebody who's a critical
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thinker. you guys know me, i march to the beat of my own drum. i consulted with a now good friend of mine joe rogan after he got covid and i have been doing a lot of the stuff that he recommended in his podcasts. i have been taking monoclonal antibodies ivermectin, vitamin c. i believe in boldly autonomy and the ability to make choices for your body, not to have to acquiesce to some woke culture or crazed, you know, group of individuals who say you have to do something. the great m.l.k. said that you have a moral obligation to object to unjust rules and rules that make no sense. >> trevor: oh! that actually reminds me of another famous m.l.k. quote -- i have a dream that when i'm gone you will leave me out of your messy-ass drama!
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so rodgers basically says he's an independent thinking who doesn't want to be told what to do with his body. i don't know, you ever notice how all the independent thinkers are doing the exact same thing? right? it's not like they're all coming up with different ideas -- i'm an independent thinker, what are he thoughts, joe rogan? tell me about my independent thoughts! you can tell how politics has affected the entire vaccine debate because you will never see aaron rodgers doing this to anything else. he's not applying independent thinking to the rest of his body. i would like to see him on the field, forget pads and helmets i've decided to cover myself in manuka honey. my biggest problem with athletes like kyrie irving, is they think about themselves. there are real victims here. i'm talking about us who play fantasy sports. used to when you drafted players
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you only had to take into account their injuries and offseason moves. now you're, like, what are the chances he gets his news from facebook? i'm going to lose points! isn't there someone who can challenge aaron rodgers? >> big bird is causing a stir over the covid vaccine. the "sesame street" character six years old on the show, posted about getting the vaccine after the pfizer shot was approved for kids as young as 5. ted cruz responded saying government propaganda for your 5-year-old. >> trevor: ted cruz, you need to calm down. 5-year-olds won't even see big bird's tweet. they're on tiktok, not twitter. i'm surprised ted cruz is even going hard after big bird, considering how much they have in common. they boast desperately want to fly but they can't. this whole thing is such a double standard. people upset about big bird getting the vaccine but no one
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cares about all the hormone injections they have been giving him to make him as big and delicious as possible for when they eventually eat him. it's going to happen. it's will be the worst thanksgiving episode of all time. i will say big bird getting vaccinated is not an effective way to convince people to get a shot. if they really want to convince the kids, they should have killed one to have the "sesame street" characters with covid. kids remember that shit. the count should be on his death bed, the vaccine could have saved me but it's too late now. how many regrets do i have? one regret -- two regrets -- ah, ah ah -- ( flat lining ) your kid will remember that shit forever. big bird is entitled to his opinions but turns out not every giant bird feels the same way. wet a "the daily show" want to hear from all sides. in the interest of fairness, here to offer an opposing and
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equally important opinion please welcome independent thinking bird. >> thanks for having me on, trevor! i'm excited to spread the truth! ( coughing ) >> trevor: wow i hope that's all you're spreading. i understand you disagree with big bird? >> it's not about disagreeing trevor. it's about keeping an open mind. everyone says listen to your doctor but what about listening to this guy i met at the gym? his cousin got vaccinated and two days later his nipples fell off! what's why you should do your own research. >> trevor: come on, that can't be true! also, i mean, i assume that means you're not vaccinated? >> i still have my nipples don't i? >> trevor: i can't tell. are you vaccinated or not? >> even better, i'm immunized! that means i use alternative medicine so i'm safe from disease and big pharma!
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>> trevor: but what alternative medicine is more effective than the vaccine. >> well, i do yoga, i get acupuncture, and every night before bed i drink a warm glass of goat piss. which reminds me, today's show is brought to you by the letter p. yum. >> trevor: no, no, no. no do not listen to him kids. we're not sponsored by the letter p. nobody drink pee please. >> sounds like trevor's part of the cancel culture woke mob. i have been on team goat for years, and so far the only diseases i've had are measles mumps, rubella early onset alzheimer's, whooping cough ukrainian smallpox, early on set alzheimer's and the bird flu or as we birds call it, the flu. that reminds me, today's "the
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daily show" is also brought to you by the letter b that's the hepatitis i don't have. >> trevor: you know what, this is pointless, we shouldn't have done this. let's get you out of here before everyone gets sick. thank you independent thinking bird. >> oh, hey can i use the bathroom on the way out? >> trevor: no, it's for employees only. >> that's okay, i'll go on your windshield. >> trevor: you're going to shit on my windshield? no. can we -- you know what, let's take a break and when we come back i'm going to be chatting to spike lee about a book that covers his entire life. don't want to miss it. you don't come to my show and tell me -- >> i've got to go, i've got
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my guest tonight is academy award winning filmmaker spike lee, here to talk about his new book which is a visual celebration of his life and iconic drear thus farm. spike lee. welcome back. >> good to see you. >> trevor: how are you sir. >> good to see you. >> trevor: good to see you. you look gooder than i've ever seen you before and i wonder if the knicks have anything to do with it. >> the last time we won an n.b.a. championship was the '72-'73 season. >> trevor: i feel like it's time. >> it's time. we've got the egg greens and as i say orange and blue skies. >> trevor: let's talk about the suit. where do you find that? you don't go to a store and find an n.b.a. logo suit. >> the logo is jerry west, and it's a louboutin suit.
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my brother vergele hooked it up. >> trevor: okay. >> it was -- it was the season opener! had to come out strong! ( laughter ) >> trevor: you look sharp. >> thank you. i could not be messing around. things are looking good this year. >> trevor: yeah. >> as far as basketball, you see. the rest of the world, i can't tell you. >> trevor: you know what my mom says? you take what you can get. >> got to. my grandmother lived to be 100 years old told me, also. spikey got to crawl before you can walk. >> trevor: that's the truth. >> may be 100. put me through morehouse and nyu film school, my grandmother. she saved the social security checks for 50 years for grand children's education and since i was the first born, i had first dibs. >> trevor: wow. so then, in many ways, i would argue this book is almost a celebration of her hard work. >> oh, yes yes. her grandmother was a slave yet she was a college graduate from
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spellman. can i say something here? >> trevor: yeah, yeah. >> 95% of the pictures in that book are about my brother. >> trevor: that's what i wanted to ask you about. >> david lee. >> trevor: let's jump into the book. >> okay. >> trevor: there are few people who could put out a book of their work that would be as, i mean not just wide ranging but also, like, time spanning as this book is. everything from she's got to have it to, you know, you go through some of these pictures, you doing the right thing you go to jungle fever malcolm x. let's talk about the book at a whole. first of all your brother has taken 90% of the pictures in here. i didn't know you work with so many of your siblings on the movies. >> oh, yes. my brother david charles lee since i was in nyu film school, he has been documenting all my films and he's now the top photographer in new york city.
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my cyst, sr. a writer/director she's been in my films. her and my brother were the original writers of crookland which is a semibiobraphy of my family growing up in brooklyn in the '60s and '70s. my brother chris was one of the really really great first wave of graffiti artists his name was shadow. >> trevor: this just went through the family. >> went through the family. i come from a very artistic family. my father billy great jazz musician and composer. compose the scores for my films from film school with the blues. in the early '60s, he was the top bassest in the world. when bob dilan decided to go electric everybody went electric. my father never played an
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electric instrument. >> trevor: wow. >> first i could understand why my father would do that, but as i've gotten older and wiser he had convictions. this is something he's not going to do. of course, saying you have five kids but he -- he wanted -- he called it tone as is. he's a jazz musician. when he played, he would put a mic up on a stand to his bass. he didn't want anything -- >> trevor: he just wanted it to sound the way it was. >> yep and i can't hate him for that. i can't do that. i'm just happy that as a film-maker i was able to give him a platform. that do the right thing sound track was probably his best. people loved that. the score for it, not the sound track, but the score for it. >> trevor: right right. your work speaks to everyone in every single way.
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i love this isn't just a book of pictures from spike lee's work, but it's also snippets of your thoughts your ideas. you know, as i was going through it -- >> which tab is that? >> trevor: oh, man -- i'll tell you for me, jungle fever for instance, reading through your mind where you were going a lot of people misunderstood my work or put one label to my work and they don't understand that i'm telling a story about a complicated issue. i'm not telling the shore about all issues. >> yes the rap against jungle fever is i was against interracial marriage or whatever. but that was not the case. what i want to do is to use two specific neighborhoods -- harlem african-american, and bez hurst stone italian american -- and these two people from different backgrounds come together and the precious on them make it difficult for them. but that was not the really -- the whole interracial thing was
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only a platform to get to what the movie is really about which is, at the time, how crack was devastating the black community we should really see through what i believe is one of the greatest sam jackson performances as gator. >> trevor: right. there are so many stories and moments from your life in here. you know, your life has spanned decades, time, decades of people. fourth decade of filmmaking. i would like to know what the 198 offspike lee would take as advise from the 2021 spike lee a person who has been all these journeys, crookland through defy bloods. >> i rarely do these hypothetical things but for you my brother i will. >> trevor: thank you. >> ed if the off3-year-old spike lee could speak to the -- as my
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late mother would say the skinny rusty-butt spikey, i would tell my younger self that you have to be more patient with people and everybody is not the same. you can't expect everybody knowing what you think how you think or what you know. and that is giving grace. >> trevor: were you ever able to extend that grace to your father? >> yeah. i mean, you know, we're not -- you know he's kind of like not really good in the mental thing. >> trevor: right. >> but he's still with us, you know he's still with us, and if it wasn't for him and my mother, i would not be what i am. love is always going to be there. >> trevor: if it wasn't for you, we wouldn't be the people we are watching all these films.
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>> we have something! i know you have the book there but i have personally signed this marked it there. my beautiful family, my siblings and can you read that? >> trevor: personally signed, to me. >> to trevor, peace and love, spike lee. >> trevor: thank you spike. >> here's the last thing -- i appreciate you. >> trevor: thank you. >> what you do is needed, keep doing it, man because the streets love you. and that's 100 the streets love you, man. >> trevor: thank you so much. all right, people, "spike" is available november 17 whenever books are sold. this one's mine. el with take a quick break but
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tonight, but before we go: thanksgiving is one of the busiest times for the feeding america network of food banks and meal programs, and their mission to bring nourishing food to people in need. if you would like to support them in their work, please donate at the link below and help to make the holidays brighter for your neighbors. until tomorrow -- stay safe out there, get your vaccine, and remember: if you fart in public blame it on joe biden. you're presidential. now, here it is -- your moment of zen. >> president biden met camilla and broken wind so loudly that she was shocked. >> something about stories about people fighting in front of royals or royals farting in
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front of people, and i have an endless appetite to read it. >> i think our director has a special sound effect -- >> if you travel all those distances eating rich foreign food. he's in his late '70s. camilla is also married to a man in his '70s. i'm sure she's no stranger to a bit of flatulence. >> i know the conference and saving the planet is about low emissions but i want to demonstrate wind power can be very effective. ( laughter ) [audience applauding] jerry: thank you. good night. ah. whew. jerry! hey, hey. sally weaver. susan ross' roommate from college? hello? right. oh, i'm sorry. oh, so you saw the show? saw it? i loved it. ah. and thank you for the free tickets. -you are so funny. -oh, thanks. let me show you memphis. i am taking you out to dinner. oh, i'm sorry, i can't.
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i'm going straight to the airport. oh, that's too bad. susan thought we'd really get along. i guess 'cause we're both wacko! [chuckles] you know what? you have to give this to them for me. okay? here, it's a wedding present. -oh. -oh, and jerry be careful with it, okay? -be very careful. -uh-huh.
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this is called momentum. and there's no off-season. just work that builds on itself over and over and over again... becuase the only way is through.
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