tv The Daily Show With Trevor Noah Comedy Central October 7, 2021 11:00pm-11:46pm PDT
h that? guy (on radio): the lutherans brought their banana bread, but fred nordquist had no appetite. he was thinking about his pair of new boots. it's been 10 years, after all, and as he told mrs. nordquist, it would take two years to get comfortable with the new boots. no? a lot of people don't anymore. i understand why people don't celebrate columbus day, but i also am going to be sad when it eventually goes away because people will be, like, oh, yeah, columbus, this was terrible, the guy, like, came to america, he didn't even come to america, he was going somewhere else and found the wrong place and whatever. but i go, like, isn't that what the holiday should be about? celebrating the fact that even as failures we can be remembered fondly? that's what inspires me. i look at columns and every time i make a mistake in life i go this could be the new america. the point is i think there's one part of columbus i will celebrate and he's taught me being a failure is not the worst
thing in the world. sometimes your failure could lead to tragic and horrible things but also may be, like, a new story. i guess that's just me. ♪♪ ♪♪ >> coming to you from the heart of times square, the most important place on earth, it's "the daily show." tonight, you can never get mcdonald's ice cream. get your autumn on, and logic. this is "the daily show" with trevor noah! snood hey! what's going on, everybody? welcome to "the daily show." i'm trevor noah. let's jump straight into today's headlines. we kick things off with the n.b.a. the only place we're told people aren't asked if they play basketball. n.b.a. players are used to taking charges but usually from other players. this time it's from the f.b.i. >> breaking news, 18 former
n.b.a. players are charged with trying to defraud the league's health and welfare benefit plan out of nearly $4 million. ex-nets player terrence williams, glen brown, ronald davis and 15 other players were indicted for conspiracy to commit health fraud and wire fraud, accused of submitting claims for medical and dental services that were never done. the ex-players got about $2.5 million. >> trevor: look, look, i know a lot of people are shocked by this, but, guys, why are we surprised? pretending to be hurt is a huge part of playing in the n.b.a., which by the way i'm all for. i think men shouldn't be afraid to express when they're hurt. ♪♪ and once you retire, got to make money somehow. what's more dishonest, stealing money from the health fund or shaq claiming papa john's is good pizza. this is fraud. we're all friends here. but getting caught is bad news for these players and it's going
to be great news for whatever jail is about to get the best basketball team of all time. imagine having these guys play? i'm not guarding big baby davis! that guy's huge! i might be a murderer but i'm not crazy! let's move on to a story about the mafia, a guy who knows the guy if you need a guy for that. the mob has been an american institution since the 19th 19th century, but now it's in the hands of millennials and turns out, just like mailing a letter or dressing up for work, they're not very good at it. >> organized trial crime in new york is less organized than it used to be. mob investigators say many of the clans are being fundamentally mismanaged nowadays. there's a common thought among the old guard of mobsters that the millennial generation hasn't properly learned the ropes, also something the old guard says the younger mobsters are always texting which makes it so much easier for them to get aught. >> trevor: okay, okay, fair criticism.
i understand that texting makes it way easier to get caught doing crimes but here's my question, as a millennial, i would like to know what else are we supposed to do, huh? talk on the phone? yo, i'll take life in prison over that shit any day. if you ask me the real problem here with the mobsters texting, it's not getting caught, it's getting your point across because threatening to beat someone to death isn't as terrifying when it's done in a series of emojis. this isn't just a mafia thing. every workplace is dealing with this clash. even in the vampire community you have older vampires mad at the younger ones. i've told you a thousand times do not write blood on your venmos! finally, data breaches, part of everyday life from credit card companies to government agencies to steve -- i told you my pin in confidence, steve! today, it's video gamers. >> the poplar game streaming
platform twitch is the latest victim of a hack attack. the company owned by amazon confirmed an anonymous individual post add 125 gigabyte file containing twitch's data. the platform source code was leaked along with how much top streamers on the service get paid. so far no user data was leaked. twitch says it's working on the problem. >> trevor: that's right, tons of data on the video gaming site twitch was hacked. although when you see what was actually leaked, i think this could have been way worse. you know, let's all be grateful that we didn't see any of bowser's dickpics. i'm curious now, though, do you think the carpet matches the shell? but there was some eye opening stuff in the leak. we learned just how much some of the twitch gamers make, up to $9 million. yeah, and that's going to add insult to injure knowing that the guy who t-dagd you in call
of duty was doing it from a private jet. in case you're wondering who the highest gaming earners are, topping the list critical role and at the bottom of the list was chuck schumer playing snake on an old nakia. let's jump straight into our main story. if you ever eat at mcdonald's, first of all, congratulations on being basic. but secondly, you've probably noticed that there's one menu item even harder to get than the mcrib. >> federal investigators are reportedly looking into why mcdonald's ice cream machines are frequently broken. >> there are accusations the manufacturer of the ice cream machines deliberately built in flaws in order to profit on repairs when their own technicians have to fix the machines. >> frustrated customers on social media have been complaining about the busted machines. >> no matter what time of the day i go to mcdonald's, the damn ice cream machine is broke. you just got a big ass machine
sitting in your story that's broke all the time 24-7, fix the shit or throw it out the (~bleep~) window! >> trevor: hell, yeah! the people have had enough of not having enough ice cream! and now the feds are going after mcdonald's which by the way is the most american headline of all time, federal investigators are looking into mcdonald's. all this shit going on in america and the feds have to investigate what's happening in mcdonald's. surprisingly, it's not happening because of the hamburglar. i wish someone told himself that before he offed himself in the bathroom. he always said he would never go back to prison. the bloken ice cream machine is such a big part of mcdonald's identity they should make the machine a mascot. hi, kids, i'm mcflurry, the ice cream machine that's too sick to work. ( coughing ) i should have got the vaccine. truth is, mcdonald's ice cream ma sheens are far from the only product people are having trouble repairing these days.
in fact, this issue is so widespread it spurred an entire movement called right to repair. but the question is why has fixing things become so hard and expensive? well, let's find out why in another installment of "if you don't know now you know." ♪♪ ♪♪ fixing things, it's what human beings have done since the beginning of time. we fixed london bridge, we fix telescopes, we fix boxing matches, and it used to be that when anything broke in your life, whether a car, a lawn mower, you would try and fix it yourself, remember that? then after you broke it even worse you would bring it to a local repair shop and watch them fix it while you pretended to know what was happening. ah, yeah, the sprucette, the
thing -- yeah, i was gonna do that. but these days there are fewer and fewer options for how to fix the things you own. >> we live in a free market but when it comes to repairing electronics like smartphones you are not free to choose where to go. if you were the hopeless person with a broken gadget you would immediately go to the apple store. that's what apple wants you to do. the company and others restricts how and where you can repair your stuff. >> anything that has a chip in it right now is probably impossible to repair without using the manufacturer. >> that means tractors and cars, it means your smartphone, it means increasingly the refrigerators and washing machines that people have in their homes. >> when something breaks and the only solution is to take it back to the manufacturer, they can charge you whatever they want. >> so this is a macbook pro-the apple store said would cost $12,000 to fix and wasn't worth
it. what would you charge. >> 75 to 150. >> trevor: people, that's outrageous. they're charging ten times as much as they need to. i mean, that's movie theater concession stand prices, which is ridiculous. how can electronics cost that much to take apart? most of them were put together by children. and this kind of price gouging is why people basically turn to witchcraft when something goes wrong with their electronics. let's just put the phone in a bag of rice and say a spell -- i can't afford the genius bars -- ( speaking in tongues ) you're a genius? >> yeah, i did groundbreaking medical research that saved millions of lives. you're also a genius? >> yeah, i can get piss out of a head phone jack. but, of course, the manufacturer wants to be the only place you can go to fix their product. that's always been the case. what's different is that more and more they're designing their products to make sure that that
happens. >> today's gadgets are designed to be unfixable by the average person or by anyone at all. >> manufacturers are making repairs harder, like limiting the availability of spare parts or using adhesives that make parts difficult to replace. >> the biggest challenge -- yeah, i think this is glued -- is removing the old battery which is glued into the case, making things hard or impossible to repair. >> instead of swapping out a simple part, it is often tied to a bunch of other exception parts or completely inaccessible. >> companies like john deere install digital locks which prevent anyone but an authorized technician to conduct repairs. >> this is a special screw on the iphone no one had seen before the iphone that apple put on there to keep you out. >> it's as if they engineered you to go, go on, i dare you to try to repair it. >> trevor: think about it, it's harder to break into a
phone than the capitol building, special screws, digital locks, glue everywhere and the next iphone has a special soft where when it catches you going ling how to change a battery sends you nudes. you may be think i i don't have a five-pointed screwdriver but a repair guy has one. that's not a solution because the companies are not just making it harder to fix your own device they're punishing you if you try. >> companies liar apple, microsoft and john deere refused to share specialized tools and replacement parts needed to make the repairs as well as instructional manuals and diagnostic software. >> apple seesen thoshzed third party repair businesses as the enemy. lewis rossman and i fix it received legal threats from the company. >> if you post the manual online they'll send you a legal takedown threat saying it's copy wrying material and they want to
sue you. >> tech devices made by apple, if you try to fix them you actually void the warranty. there are some cases where the company will brick your device if you try to fix it so it doesn't work anymore. >> trevor: come on, guys. i feel this is a little childish. i didn't want to go to you to fix the broken phone you sold me so you break it more. why are you taking it so personally? you sold me the phone, we're not dating. we're basically in a conservatorship with these companies. we need to free brittany people so they can get us. they have the time now. to be fair to manufacturers, they do have some reasons to be doing this beyond just wanting for money, you know. many manufacturers will say that these are very complex products and that having any random dude monk i didn't think around in there -- monkeying around in there isn't safe and could damage the products which makes sense. one time i took my tv to get fixed by random nigerian guys
who had a shop in south africa. when i got the tv back technically it was fixed. technically. but now only channel "up" worked so you couldn't go down. so every time i wanted to flip between the chance, all right, what's the score on this game? go to the other game -- this is gonna take a while! the worst is when i went back to the nigerians, i was like, you messed up my tv. he said, no, the thing that's messed up, trevor, is your brain. why do you want to go down? in life you must only go up. jesus wants us to ascend. but there needs to be new limits to how far they can take this thing. because this would be bad enough if it just meant overcharging for a phone repair, but, in some cases, your life could even be at stake. >> there's a key obstacle to keeping medical equipment of all types up and running. vital work often gets blocked by device-makers. >> manufacturers refuse to provide access to service manuals and design machines to
require calibration software to activate new spare parts. >> they don't want to work with us because we're a third party company. they don't want to give us tech support over the tone. they don't want to sell us parts. and they don't want to give us any technical literature. >> if we don't have the material, of course, we can't do the work. we're dealing with lives here. >> trevor: okay, this seems a lot wore than the other stuff. you know, i know we all feel like if our iphone breaks we'll literally die, but without hospital equipment, you literally literally die. and this whole thing is a wakeup call, you know, repair restrictions don't just stop you from eating ice cream at mcdonald's. they can also stop you from getting emergency care because you ate so much ice cream at mcdonald's. and the good news is there's a movement building to regulate just how much manufacturers can restrict your right to repair your own product and in july got president biden to sign an executive order to address the problem. and i for one, i hope that
something comes pout of it because when you're flat lining on a hospital bed because the ventilator isn't working, the last thing you want to hear the doctor say is sorry, we could fix it but we don't want to void the warranty. sy gnarsy gnar ray, and if you o know you don't know. next, things about autumn you don't want to miss. >> today is the 25th 25th anniversary of fox news. thank you. i don't know where i would be without you, fox news, probably vaccinated. before i was forced to watch fox news against my will i got my news from sketchy sources like the "new york times" and books. now the only book i need is facebook.com. because of fox, i see more threats every day than the c.i.a. sees in a year. obama blinking signal. voting fraud. artisanal mustard. i wouldn't know hillary clinton showered in baby blood or the
loony lives see that fox news built their empire on sexism. that's ridiculous with roger ailes and bill o'reilly pay hundreds of millions of dollars to women who used to pork outfox news if theyer are sexist? i'm glen beck, can i interest you in a reverse mortgage? we sent jesse waters to ground zero to uncormarina obama's college transcripts. lets take a look. fox news, you should be proud of yourself. for the past 25 years you brought half this country together against the other half. wholes has done that? sharia law, cut and run, green new deal, why is common at the white house. why is obama playing basketball with the qur'an. you're not just my "fox & friends," you're my fox and family mostly because my real family won't talk to me anymore. beyonce's a ghost.
no man could have survived that fire. he's coming for me. but i'm coming for him. if you track michael's victims, he's going home. then that's where we're going. we're coming for you michael. [ gasps ] 80% get genetically meaningful health info from their 23andme dna reports. 80%. that's 8 out of 10 people who can get something enlightening. something empowering. something that could change everything. info that could give you greater control of your own health, and it's right there in your dna. so, if 80% get genetically meaningful health info, the question is, will you be part of the 80%?
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here's a good halloween trick. buy a bunch of reese's. we (uh huh, there you go)ed. turn off all the lights in your house. (yeah yeah) ( trick or treat!) and then just don't answer the door. not sorry, reese's. it is october, which means autumn is here, and no one is more excited for the season than our very own ronny chieng who shares his joy for everything autumn in our brand-new segment "falling for fall with ronny chieng." ♪♪ ♪♪ >> okay, first off, i don't give a shit about fall, okay, but the network said i need to project a more cuddly image or whatever so i guess i've got to pretend to be excited by fall now, even though it's always the same old bullshit. the only thing that changes is the amount of crap they put pumpkin spice into. and this year i'm pretty sure
the pumpkin spice is rotting everyone's brain. >> here we go. time for autumn obsession with all things pumpkin. pumpkin spice is everywhere but these days not just for lattes anymore. >> this morning you can even spy pumpkin spice scented toilette paper. people are giving the product great reviews. you can buy a ten pack of pumpkin spiced scented face masks. would you want that? gets it fall scents from session is oils. >> a pumpkin spice face mask? i'll take a covid. thank you. who wants pumpkin spice in their nose all day. when i'm walking around in new york i want to breathe the natural aromas of the city. garbage and urine. why wipe your ass with something that already smells like shit? the only thing more pathetic than buying pumpkin spice toilet paper are the people who give it review. you don't need to review the toilet paper. does it wipe the poop off your
butt? yes? that's five stars. wait, i forget, i'm showed to be happy. oooh! pumpkin spice! mmm! i love it! smells like martha stewart's arm pit. here's another thing i love by fall getting tricked by farmers into doing their jobs. >> with a big boost from bomb 2-year-old lucy picks the perfect apples. visitors to the orchard smiled wide, hardly not to be app pi strolling the 63-acre farm with all things we love about fall. apple cider, apple cider donuts made on sight. we asked how delicious. her response ci-di. >> she knows she's not getting anything for christmas because her parents are broke buying gourds. fruit picking is a job no one wants nine months of the year
and suddenly you have underpaid farm workers (we need to stop pretending relove apples. they're not that good and they're trying too hard. red delicious? you know if it's in a name it's a lie. like a guy introducing himself as mike ten inch penis. story, i forget, hurray, it's fall. you know climate change is going to end all this shit, right? you're we're not even outside right now. it's too hot. we're on a sound stage. this log is fake. these leaves, are fake. in ten years, going to use them in schools to teach kids what trees look like. i would say to everyone who loves fall should get lost and die but turns out they love doing that, too. >> a giant corn maze. take a look. a man in washington county created this by himself. transformed part of this allan port farm into a allan hills corn maze. >> we give everybody a map when
they start. i wouldn't lose the map. if you do get lost, we have a drone we'll be flying over all day long. so if you need help, we can get you in and out. >> this ten acre maze consists of winding paths, misleading trails and bridges that connect you to different parts to have the maze. if you successfully complete them you get a free scoop of ice cream. >> spend two hours in a corn maze and all you get is a free scoop of ice cream? give me a freive drip to replenish my fluids. a drone isn't going to do it. this is the worst exit strategy since the afghan war. no thanks. also why would anybody willingly enter a corn maze? at best you get murdered by demon children, at worst you get stuck talking to a baseball ghost. if you want to do a maze so bad, do the ones on the back of serial boxes. you don't have to buy the serial, just do them in the aisle and put them back in the shelf. that's what i do.
enough with the leaves! yeah, i know i'm not being cuddly enough. all right, forget it. you know what really makes me happy about fall this year the fact that it might not happen at all. >> global supply chain issues caused more shortages and prices of lots of items have just skyrocketed. now the availability of pumpkins is apparently plummeting. >> don't be startled if you find a shortage of pumpkins this halloween season, and knowing you might be haunted by higher prices. >> that's right! there might be no pumpkins this year which means i think this might be the best fall ever! ha ha! i can't wait to see all your stupid instagram pics of barren fields assholes! ha ha. enough with the leaves already! ♪♪ ♪♪ >> trevor: ah! so much joy. all right, when we come back rapper and author logic will be joining me on the show.
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my guest tonight is multi-platinum recording artist bobby hall also known as logic. he's also a "new york times" best selling author and here to talk about his brand-new memoir that takes you through a harrowing and yet surprise willing i rewarding life. bobby hall, a/k/a logic. welcome back to "the daily show," my dude. >> thank you. >> trevor: normally, when i have you on the show it's to talk about a book. this time is no different. you are a number one "new york times" best selling author. once again you're on the best sellers list. this time, can i just take a second to say like you haven't
only written an amazing book, you have shared one of the most painful, funny, inspiring and vulnerable stories i have ever read. i mean, like, i knew a little bit about your life, you know, we've had a drink together, we've talked, you know, you have been on the show, but, man, i did not know the breadth of the life you've lived. i did not know what your mother had gone through. i did not know how you grew up in a home where your mom was in past tuition and your mom also suffered from mental illness and you were in a verbally abusive household. why did you not go down the road your whole family was literally consumed by? >> i would say it's god and common sense and my relationship with god is different. i'm not a sure religious guy. i don't think god is a white dude with a beard on a cloud, but he or she is something and whatever that power is mixed with, i don't know, because they always say it's nature versus nurture. i obviously wasn't nurtured, and
i think it's that common sense in god. i see my brothers cooking crack, selling crack to my dad, i see people running around, shooting guns, doing all these things, and i'm like, oh, don't do that, where other people would follow that path. i was like, we don't beat women. god it. >> trevor: in one part of the book you talk about a moment where you snap. it's you and your mom and she's just been going at you. you're 17 and you grab a baseball bat and in that moment, you feel there's the trap, bobby is in the life his family and community is living in and you decide in that moment, no, i'm never going to hit a woman or hit a woman who gets hit regularly as well, i'm just not going to be a part of this. but there's a part of bobby, an anger, as any human has especially going through trauma, how do you deal with that bobby? i found myself going, like, how did you nurture that bobby? >> um, i think i was actually
very blessed to, outside of my household, have good people in my life. sure, i had a best friend who put a gun in my hand and i shot a gun with him the first time when i was 14. stupid stuff like that. because you want to be loved, which also goes into even, like, gang life, right, there's a reason why these young men and women turn to a group to belong. in many ways we can be kind of coerced into leading a bit of a negative life based on us just wanting to be loved or having a feeling of purpose or, you know, like we belong. >> trevor: yeah. >> and outside of my house, i tid have a few people. i had a homey i could rape. i had, you know, one of my best friends' moms who is my godmother, i consider her my mother, her name is mary jo and her husband bernie who took me
in and taught me lessons and when my mom was wile-ing out they let me sleep at their house, and looking at those few people in my life allowed me to play a chameleon and go, oh, maybe i can deal with things like a normal person instead of screaming and smashing a television set. >> trevor: you're also very funny. that's why i like you as a person. i love it in your rap, as a human being and in your book. the book is so full of tragedy but it's funny as well. maybe funny is how you process the world. i relate to that, funny is how i get through a situation that isn't ideal. one of my favorite stores is you talk about your mom going through a mary magdalene phase where she's trying to be a virgin in life and wants to be super religious, but she doesn't go about this in the most normal way. did she actually wear, like,
duvet covers in the street? >> yeah, so a little bit of a backstory for people watching. my mother, she would go through different phases. let me first and foremost say, i love my mother, we haven't spoken in well over ten years but she's a broken person, so nothing i am saying now is to attack her, but, yeah, she was kind of crazy. this time, i was about 14 years old and she decides i'm giving up my black clothing and ways of sin and i'm going to dress like a holy woman. so she's basically like mother theresa but, like, on drugs at least for this section, and she would literally go to the consignment store, find duvet covers and sheets and she was walking around kind of looking like a nun. but this wasn't religion, really. this was just my mom being, like, i'm on some stuff right now and this is what i want to do. >> trevor: right. >> it was extremely embarrassing considering there was no real reason for it. but, yeah, it was wild. >> trevor: the flip side, your
dad was on crack most of his life. your dad was stealing your identity when you were a child to max out credit cards. your dad, even later on you talk about in your book where you have this relationship where you want to have a relationship with him and every time he comes in he's trying to get your money. this is a lot of something people can relate to in life. the specificity of your book will reach so many people in general because people want to deal with this challenge, you want to be loved and part of your family, you feel like you're supposed to because of what the world's told you, but at the same time every time they come in they break away a little bit of what you built. how did you figure out those boundaries? >> it's funny because when i bring up my father in the book, i explain how he recently at the time of writing the pook just asked me for $800,000 so he can buy a house and turn it into a studio for his band. we're working on boundaries, so it's funny you bring that term up. i love my dad. my dad is, like, annoying.
we're not talking right now and, yeah, every time we do talk it's always about music or take me on tour, son, bring me over here, come on, let's do this thing, let's do that there. and i'm, like, yo, bro, how are you doing emotionally? it would be cool if we could sit down and have a heart to heart. over time, and i also discuss this in the boom, i always wanted a dad, and i wanted a dad i could play catch with and go fishing with and i realize, oh, okay, that's not this man. every time i would let him in my life, the expectation of what i hope to have as far as a relationship with him differs, and i realize now as i'm older i would think, well, i'm older so we can have a better connection, but i find that we were actually more similar when i was younger because to have the immaturity level. once again, i don't say this to shit on my dad, it's just the truth, and it's very difficult and, rather than try to ask
myself why me? i look at my little baby, and i go, at least i can be what i wish i had for him. >> trevor: one thing i learn in life is we make of assumption assumptions based on ideas we have of human beings. seems like there's a catharsis for you saying this is what it is, whether you like it or not is irrelevant. why did you write the book? is it that or is there anything else? >> it's for sure that. it's amazing when you can say something and there's not a comment section immediately telling you why that success or you're a wack or whatever the kids might say. but, poetically, i was able to leave that chapter of my life, like, in this book, and, also, not to, you know, be extra, but i want to be completely honest, i revere and respect you as a man, as a writer, as a comedian, as an artist, and when i read
your book, i was, like, oh, it's time. this is, like, it inspired me to go, i want to tell my story as well. so thank you for that. that's a big reason why i did it. >> trevor: thank you, for real. >> if it wasn't for you, it wouldn't be here, so thanks. >> trevor: this show is always your friend. i hope i will always be your friend. you're welcome anytime you want to join. congratulations on not just writing an amazing memoir by living an amazing life. congratulations on your baby boy and the new life you created for yourself. i'm proud of you. i think everybody will be and hopefully i will see you again dude. >> swag. you've got to let me come back and make music. >> trevor: we're looking for a house band. if you're ready, anytime. i have a few instruments in the back, you can jump in. >> i will be the black thought. >> trevor: all right, my dude. >> they will call me a transparent white thought. ( laughter ) >> trevor: oh, man. oh, bobbie, see you again, my dude.
don't forget, people, bobby's "this bright future" is available now. right back after this. this halloween, xfinity rewards is offering up some spooky-good perks. like the chance to win a universal parks & resorts trip to hollywood or orlando to attend halloween horror nights. or xfinity rewards members, get the inside scoop on halloween kills. just say "watch with" into your voice remote for an exclusive live stream with jamie lee curtis. a q&a with me! join for free on the xfinity app. our thanks your rewards.
sunday is world mental health day, so please consider supporting the aakoma project. the aakoma project offers free virtual therapy and workshops for teens and young adults of color, as well as educating youth and their families on the importance of mental health. if you want to support them in this work, please donate at the link below. until next week -- stay safe out there, get your vaccine, and remember: if you're in trouble with the mob, just go on airplane mode. they won't be able to find you. now, here it is -- your moment of zen.
♪♪ ♪♪ >> i love to see your name, anderson cooper rolls off. this is all about blue origin, right? blue origin, the space program that is -- ( laughter ) throw it out there for somebody else to pick it up. ( laughter ) you're looking fantastic. no, we don't want that one. ( laughter ) >> oh, my god that's real funny. >> i'm running miles. that's what they said. ( laughter ) that's the thing they said. don't blow it up. >> i'm dead inside. ♪ ♪
[cheers and applause] >> charlamagne: let's go! all right, all right! peace to the planet. i go by the name of charlamagne tha god or you can call me lenard. okay, back for another week of "tha god's honest truth." brothers, how y'all feel? [applause] sisters, y'all all right? [applause] okay, okay. another week. we're going to laugh, we are going to learn, we are going to be uncomfortable. this show is starting a lot of conversations, okay? a lot of folks are glad that we are holding a mirror up to the country and forcing america to take a good look at itself, okay. [applause] that's right. it's very hard to look into a mirror and admit what's wrong with you. i mean, ask anybody who has gotten a bbl, but i've also been called a "race-baiting agitator." some even compared me to alex jones, okay?
come on, man. alex jones, with or without tv makeup, i look better than him, okay? [applause] but you know what's sad about that? i haven't pedaled in one conspiracy yet. the things i have discussed on this show have actually happened. okay, sadly, this is america's reality and these reactions are what's wrong with this country. america does not know how to deal with a problem. case in point, last week we talked about crackers on horseback literally herding haitian migrants like cattle at the border. immediately afterwards, the current protectors of white supremacy in the white house, the biden administration, they took action. >> the secretary also conveyed to civil rights leaders earlier this morning that we would no longer be using horses in del rio. [audience reacts] >> charlamagne: the horses, the horses. thanks to president biden and the rest of the cowardly donkeys known as democrats, no longer will those bigoted ass, racist
ass, cracker ass horses continue to terrorize black and brown people at the border. we will never have a systemic change in this country unless we address the problems head on. [applause] that's right. instead, america likes to act like it's not a problem and make symbolic gestures like getting rid of the horses. haitians get assaulted at the border? get rid of the horses. you know where i'm going with this. black people get killed by the police? get rid of the horses. i'm going to need a little help. a handsome black man gets a tv show, calls out white supremacy and its institutions -- >> audience: get rid of the horses. >> charlamagne: wrong, they want to get rid of the nigger and if you've got a horse, get rid of that son of a bitch too! [applause] that's why, for the past year, conservative white folks have been losing their mayonnaise flavored minds over critical race theory.