tv The Daily Show Comedy Central June 4, 2019 11:00pm-11:36pm PDT
comedy central >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah. ( cheers and applause ) ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome to "the daily show," everybody. thank you so much for tuning in. thank you for coming out! oh, yeah! oh, yeah! i'm trevor noah. our guest tonight-- our guest tonight is the author of the new memoir "leaving the witness," amber scorah is joining us, everybody. it's going to be a great conversation. ( cheers and applause ) also on tonight's show, rihanna
changes her name. jaboukie young-white learns the truth about socialism, and president trump touches the queen. so let's catch up on today's headlines. first things first, happy pride month, everybody. ( cheers and applause ) yeah. happy pride month. i love pride so much. it's so joyful and fun. although, i will be honest, sometimes watching a pride parade makes me very insecure. i mean, like, some of these guys, when they're like, "i am out of the closet," i'm like, goddamn, was there a gym in the closet? why do you look so good?" i'm not being a hater. if anything i admire their restraint, because filook liked that, forget pride month. i would be celebrating pride all year long. it could be snowing in january, and i would be shirtless in the street. people would be like, "trevor, you're turning blue." i would be like, "that's pride." everywhere around the world, people are celebrating pride month, except for russia where
they're saying everyone has to cut that shit out. >> the "rocketman" movie seen here is a very different version than what the people in russia got to see. the inform about elton john was heavily edited there. scenes showing homosexual activity and drug use were deleted from the film shown in russian theaters. russian news agencies report that distribution company said the scenes were cut to conform with russian law. >> trevor: wait, let me get this straight. russia wants a movie about elton john, but without the gay parts? ( laughter ) do you also want "fast and furious" without the dismars because then you're just watching a movie about male pattern baldness. that's all it is, my friend, that's all it is. i'll be honest, russia, i don't think that this is about you hating part of "rocketman." i think this is about you hating parts of yourself. yeah, think about it. your president rides shirtless on a horse, you love partying in nightclubs, and your capital looks like a magical dildo factory. you're running from yourselves,
comrades. ( laughter ) and if you're wondering-- if you're wondering what would "rocketman" even look like without homosexuality and drugs, we were able to get our hands on the russian version, and this is the entire movie. >> my piano teacher thinks i'm good enough for a scholarship at the royal academy of music. ♪ i love vaginas the feeling inside ♪ ( cheers and applause ). >> trevor: yeah. not as good. all right, moving on to some other news. rihanna, she's recently made news for her successful fashion line. "forbes" has just declared her the richest female musician in the world and dropped a new video. >> rihanna, being unapologetic about how to pronounce her name. the pop star is, once and for all, settling the dispute on how
to say it. she wants everyone to know it's "ree-anna," not "ree-ona." >> i want to welcome you to paris. >> trevor: "ree-anna"? her name is actually "ree-anna"? what? ( laughter ) this is like finding out beyonce's name is actually pronounced "bay once." like, what? here's the thing eye don't mind if you change your name, but going from ree-anna to "ree-anna" is too muchave name change. like going from "puff daddy" to "p. diddy." i can do that, you know. or "prince" to "symbol." or "r. kelly" to "correctional inmate 4725." these are changes i can get behind. but "ree-anna"? no. you know what naiks even worse?
is that she wrote a whole song called "what's my name." that would have been the perfect time to tell us your name! she should have been like ♪ ree-anna that's my name ♪ ree-anna you're pronouncing it wrong." finally, it's graduation season. a west virginia high school principal is leaving his graduates with one final lesson-- although it's not the lesson he wanted. >> a high school principal is facing major embarrassment today. he gave a speech at his school's graduation ceremony which one of his students thought she'd heard the speech before from, all of people, actor ashton kutcher. >> be smart, be thoughtful, be generous. >> inspiring words from a high school principal at graduation. but one graduate thought the speech sounded a little familiar. >> it's really three things. >> for me it's really three things. >> first thing is about opportunity. >> the first thing is about opportunity. >> the second thing is about being sexy. >> the second thing is about
being intriguing. >> and the third thing is about living life. >> and the third thing is about living life. >> trevor: in conclusion, i love my wife nina kunis. good night. at least he changed sexy to intriguing. even he knew it would have been auk ward, "congratulations, class of 20 neerng stay bangable." so, yeah, he stole ashton kutcher's-- here's the thing about the stir find intrigue ago and by that, i mean "sexy." ( laughter ) he could have picked martin luther king jr. or nelson mandela or eleanor roosevelt. but of all the speeches he stole, ashton kutcher? from the 2013 "teens choice awards?" ( laughter ) like, now it makes me wonder if he does this every year? maybe he only steals from awards shows. maybe last year he was like, students i'm going to let you
finish but bey once had the greatest video of all time." that's it for the headlines. let's move on to our top story. ( cheers and applause ) today was day two of president trump's visit to the u.k. and last night, the world's cutest white walker, her majesty, the queen, hosted an official state dinner in honor of trump's favorite thing: himself. >> the president's first day ending in grand fashion with a dinner at buckingham palace, surrounded by royalty, the very best china, crystal, and guild silver on display for the president and 170 rs guests, the president praising the queen: >> a great, great woman. >> but possibly breaking with protocol when appearing to touch her back as she stood up. >> when he put his hand on the back of her majesty queen's-- you just don't touch the queen! >> trevor: that's right, you just don't touch the queen! you don't touch the dween!
queen! these people need to calm the (bleep) down. donald was just being nice. if trump really wanted to break protocol, i don't think he'd be tuchg the queen's back. you guys need to calm down. ( laughter ) plus, i think england takes it too far with the whole breaking protocol of the queen thing. there are so many different rules, random rules about being around royalty. for instance, did you guys know you're not allowed it turn your back on the queen? yeah. that's crazy. everyone is just, like, backing up out of rooms, like bumping into the statues on the way out. ( laughter ) it almost makes it seem like the queen is a grisly beer or something. if you turn your back on her. don't leave any garbage around. she'll get into it. here's one of the crazier ones. that's a rule asking the queen personal questions is strictly forbidden. yeah. which i bet they only put in place because otherwise someone
might look at the queen and be like, "what exactly do you do here anyway? like, why am i paying taxes for to you live in a palace?" so i don't think trump touching the queen was offensive. what was offensive was trump's outfit for the big dinner. i mean, people, what's with the tuxedo? ( laughter ) how can a man have access to the nuclear codes but not a tailor, huh? what is this? ( cheers and applause ) what is that? like, i knew robert patterson was picked to be the new batman. but now we also know who is going to plate penguin. what is that outfit! and while trump spent the evening being embraced by the royal family, there was a whole different kind of party going on outside the next day. >> this morning across london, large protests against the president, who is deeply unpopular here, thousands spilling into the streets of london. >> some brits are make clear
their dislike of him. the giant side-by-side projection of his and former president barack obama's u.k. approval ratings. or the uss "mccain" hat. >> we saw the return of the so-called baby blimp trump, an inflatable one of him in a diaper. >> trevor: oh, wow. man, british protesters are no jokes. tens of thousands protesting trump. and this was in the rain, which i know to them is a summer day, but that's not the point. ( laughter ) and you know what's really interesting about britain is that even conservative british people don't like truch. it's really strange. i'm talking pro-brexit people who share many of his views. they'll be like, "there are too many bleed immigrants. it's time to shut down our borders. "so you guys like trump?" "oh, no, not him. he's the worst immigrant of all." obviously british protesters are taking to the street to make trump feel unwelcome in the u.k., but for trump, protests are like eric-- he just pretends
they don't exist. >> as you the >> as far as the protests, even coming over today, there were thousands of people cheering, and thin heard there were protests. i said, "where are the protests? i don't see any protests." i did see a small protest today when i came, very small. so a lot of it is fake news. >> trevor: oh man! oh, man! trump is adorable, man, come on. he doesn't go with one excuse. he gives you all of them and you can pick the one you like best. "the people were cheering. i see no protest. i saw a small protest but it was a fake protest and i didn't see it. i didn't see it." ( cheers and applause ) now, contrary to what the president said, the protests were not small, okay. it's estimated that tens of thousands of people marched in the streets, which is not small.
like, how does trump always get this wrong? first his inauguration, and now this? it's almost like trump is dyslexic but just for crowd sizes. and, also, for words. and here's the thing-- people in the u.k. weren't just protesting because they hate trump. they're also against a potential u.k./u.s. trade deal which will bring american insurers into britain's health care system, which they don't want. today, president trump was asked about this in a press conference. and his answer wasn't exactly reassure. >> do you agree with your ambassador that the entire economy needs to be on the table for future trade deals, including the n.h.s.? >> i think we're going to have a great trade deal, yes. i think we're going to have a great and comprehensive trade deal. i can't hear him. >> he said, "should the national health service be on the table?" >> look, i think everything with
trade is on the table. when you're dealing with trade, serving on the table, so n.h.s., or anything else air, lot more than, that but everything will be on the table, absolutely. >> trevor: another obviously, trump has no clue what they're talking about. and he's doing a good job of hiding it. "look, everything is on the table, n.h.s., n.h.l., d.t.s., all on the table. it's all there, all on the table." i mean, theresa may had to straight-up give him the answer. in fact, now that she's leaving office maybe that could be her next job, yeah, just standing next to president trump wherever he goes explaining shit to him "that woman is the prime minister of new zealand. that's a salad." "it's made of vegetables." "vegetables? what are those?" "you know mcdonald's fries?" "yeah, i love those." "it's the before." "so the moment of the fries?
lease the 2019 ux 200 for $329/month for 36 months. experience amazing at your lexus dealer. ( cheers and applause ). >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." it's safe to say that socialism is having a moment in american politics right now, and that's freaking a lot of people out. we sent our newest correspondent, jaboukie young-white, to find out why. >> for years, grumpy old wide dudes have been telling us that socialism is total bullshit.
>> socialism leads to decline and ruin. >> this system crushes human souls. >> but as "the daily show' showw senior youth correspondent, i know that millennials right now think socialism is totally on trend. i popped some molly and hit the street to find out why even though the olds hate it, the kids love socialism. >> i think socialism is great. i think you should definitely help whoever you could in any situation. >> i (bleep) socialis socialismt because (bleep) anything that is helping black people out. >> so you're socialism curious. >> i'm in college. >> right. do you hate billionaires? >> low key? yeah, you look at jeff bezos, he doesn't look human. >> i mean, i think the idea of socialism is... on point. i mean, i don't really know what socialism means to be completely honest with you. >> it's okay. we're all confused. if there were only someone we could talk to, someone with deep experience on the subject. when i started doing this sort of piece on socialism i knew
there was only one politician i could talk to about it. do you know a.o.c.? >> sure. >> and what's her availability? >> you want to speak to her? >> yeah, maybe-- i just figured, you know-- ( laughs ). >> seriously, you can't talk soicialism in america without going bernie sanders. >> i believe in a society where all people do well, not just a full of billionaires. >> could he be the oldest millennial in america? you know that capitalism has given us a bunch of really dope thing-- iphones, cars, the "avengers" movies, the opioid crisis." so why are young people like myself open to socialism. >> your generation, the younger generation, will in all likelihood have a lower standard of living than your parents. your generation is leaving school more deeply in debt, having a harder time finding affordable housing. the jobs you get will pay less. so the idea of creating a society with more egalitarianism
i think is very appealing to young people. >> okay... yeah, yeah. i feel the bern. i see what you're talking about now. ( laughter ) i admit it-- democratic socialism looks pret fine on the tinder profile, but are we going to vibe when we meet i.r.l. >> if guto denmark and sweden and see very little poverty, you could leave your job. you could start a new business, you and your family still have health care as a right. >> so i could quit "the daily show" and be fine? >> absolutely. >> well, it was great meeting with you. ( laughs ). >> so under president bernie, we would be more european like denmark or narnia. >> it's a terrible system and has never wowrkd. and in order for it to work you have to kill several million people. >> millennials have been raised in such prosperous times they
just think that, oh, we can make it even better with this insane plan to share the resources. >> you know, i would love capitalism, if it just weren't for all the sick people and all the poor people who can't afford health care. is there a way for me to avoid capitalism to enjoy those things? >> if the solution is socialism, it will make us all equal in our poverty. >> if everyone is poor, isn't that kind of cool because we're all experiencing the same thing. like "hey, the bread line was extra long today." and i'll be like, "oh, yeah, it was. that guy is super observant dispuny." >> not so much, no. i was born in the soviet union. my great-grandfather was killed in a gulag because he owned a business and socialists decided that was no longer legal. >> that's truly horrific. would bernie be sending small-business owners to forlsd labor camps? >> obviously, soviet union was an authoritarian society with no
democratic rights, and fing you know history, you know the democratic socialists fought and stood up against that. you can look at what existed in the soviet union and venezuela, that is not what i'm talking about at all. >> so no one is going to the gulag? >> well, except-- no. ( laughter ). >> okay. fact check: the examples of failed socialism that critics use are not socialist democracies but authoritarian states led by corrupt, ruthless, and paranoid dictators. but i do have one real problem with socialism. i like money. you know, tv's going kind of good for me right now, and i'm thinking of writing a successful book. is socialism still for me in i'm a millennial millionaire. >> if what you say in your life is, "all i want to do is make as much money as i possibly can and screw everything else, i don't give a damn," no, i don't think democratic socialism is your cup of tea. but if you have a decent heart and say, "look, i'm doing really well. but you know what? i also want to be awe contributor to the well-being of
society so i'm gog pay my fair share of taxes." >> would, i could have my c.b.d.-infused, glient-free cake and eat it, too. i'm liking the socialism thing more and more. and bernie made me feel so good, i decided to share something. i brought you a president. >> that's cool. >> so... >> all right. i'm anticipating. ooooh! that's good. >> when you are elected president, where do you think you're going to put in in the white house white house? >> i don't know the exact room, but it's beautiful. >> and thank you for it. >> you're welcome, bernie. enjoy. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: jaboukie young-white, everyone. we'll be right back. ( cheers and applause )
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( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome back to the "the daily show." my guest tonight is a third-generation jehovah's witness who takes us inside of the faith in her memoir called leaving the witness: exiting a religion and finding a life." please welcome amber scorah. ( cheers and applause ) welcome to the show. >> thank you! i'm so happy to be here. >> trevor: you've written an intriguing book that takes us on a journey through your life. you know, it starts off in a place that many people are familiar with-- growing up in a very religious household-- as a jehovah's witness. now, people may not be familiar with that part as the religion, but everyone has grown up, or many people have grown up religious.
and you begin this journey that slowly changes over time. let's start with that part before we really reveal where your journey takes you. what is it like to be a jehovah's witness? i mean, because, we laugh from the outside. >> i know you do. ( laughter ) >> trevor: no, really-- >> i've heard the jokes. >> trevor: you know what i mean, the knocking on the doors. like, as a jehovah's witness, did you know about that or were you completely oblivious? >> i think as a jehovah's witness, every time in a movie there was a joke about the jehovah's witness, or a comedy show, we kind of liked it. we laughed along with it. it was like, at least we were getting some attention. maybe it was a way of being in the world, because we lived kind of cut off from the world in our own way. >> trevor: interesting. you truly believed in a way they fiewnd admirable. about how you left america and moved to china to preach and to be a missionary.
and you went and in a strange way they tried to convert you. you meet people who show you a different perspective. and that started shift your views on religion in what way? >> yeah, that's-- that's exactly what happened in that i think when i was at home-- well, first of all, i didn't get that far. i didn't, you know, really come to the point where someone would sit down and listen to me and listen to me go through our books and study with them in my home town. but, in china, more people would listen to what i had to say. and i think being in a different language, in a different culture, it kind of really disoriented me. and even learning chinese-- i learned mandarin-- learning that language, it's not just, like, a language where you can translate from english. you really have to kind of excavate your mind and change the way you think in order to speak it. but, also, there was a strange side effect of being in this
country where, as we all know, there's not a lot of freedom. but for a jehovah's witness, in china, there was a lot of freedom because the organization anywhere else in the world is very structured and quite insular, and you have a lot of meetings and preaching that you do. >> trevor: right. >> and in china, because the work is done secretly under-- it's under ban there-- suddenly, i just had a lot more freedom. and time on my own. and, also, the opportunity to meet people and talk more deeply with them, people who weren't jehovah's witnesses. >> trevor: when you look at your life now, you left the religion. and one of the hardest parts of leaving the religion, was how you were cut off from your family and your society. it feels like that in and of itself lends itself more to being culty, than other mainstream religions in a way. like, what was that like for you? >> yeah, i think-- there's a scene in the book where one of the characters tells me i'm in a cult, and i react very strongly. i felt really angry, and i was adamant that that wasn't true. >> trevor: right. >> does anyone who is in a cult ever know they're in a cult? i don't think they do. >> trevor: except the leader, hopefully? >> yeah.
but it was when i started to have doubts and questions and started to leave. i think when you try to leave a group and then strange things start happening, that can be when it starts to occur to you that maybe you might have been in a cult. >> trevor: right, you might be in a cult when-- >> yeah. for example, as you said, if you're-- it wasn't like i was ranting and raving about it. i wasn't, like, i was in the church being, "this is wrong." but i mentioned a couple of things, maybe some doubts that i had had, and very quickly, my community just shed me as a person. and that's quite a big thing for people who have been taught to build their life around a community. so that felt strange. and then i think the further-- you know, i got one step away after that happened. and the further i got away from it, i would start to see other things, examine other things, like the different beliefs that they have and whether they cause harm. i think that's a good gauge, so there are little signs along the way that started to make feefl it was a group that was not really a positive-- didn't
have a positive effect. >> trevor: it's a beautiful journey with wonderful insights. thank you so much for being on the show. wonderful having you here. "leaving the witness" is available now. we'll be right back ♪"stay awake" by julie andrews♪ ♪stay awake don't rest your head♪ ♪while the moon drifts in the skies♪
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>> trevor: all right, that's our show for tonight. before we go, some really exciting news. the daily show's donald trump presidential twitter library is coming to washington, d.c. for one weekend only, from june 14 to june 16, just blocks from the white house. it's our award-winning interactive museum dedicated to donald trump's tweets and it's totally free. for hours and locations go to...
that's it for today's show. now, here it is, your moment of zen. >> i wanted to take the time to bring you one of my favorite pictures, and that is larry the cat. there he is hiding underneath the beast. >> a security breach addressed in the form of larry the cat. >> larry the cat is trying to get in the beast. that can only ever end badly. >> larry the cat, he looks really not very bothered by all of us. >> i just love cats. [patriotic music] - teddy roosevelt rides up to the front lines and he says, i'm going up this hill. let's go right here. - billy the kid is the most legendary outlaw that there is. pew, pew, pew.