tv The Daily Show With Jon Stewart Comedy Central September 26, 2013 7:25pm-7:56pm PDT
we're at defcon nazi. >> what we saw in britian, neville chamberlain that told the british people, except the nazis, yes, they'll dominate the continent of europe. that's not our prop. let's appease. in america, there were voices that listened to that. i guess there's the same pundits. if it was the 40s, we would be listening to them. >> jon: let's not listen to the nazi appeasers. what is this it that these hitler lovers believe we can't do but that you say we should be doing? to save our stuffed crust freedom? >> i rise today in opposition. >> jon: i rise with you! [laughter] to defeat what i can only assume is the zombie apocalypse, which is clearly the only thing you're talking about given the level of rhetoric you've used thus far. >> in opposition to obama care. [laughter]
[applause] >> jon: okay, okay. possibly a very troubled bureaucratic system. can we focus on the nazi zombies for a second? >> i intend to speak in support of defunding obama care until i am no longer able to stand. >> jon: what? [laughter] it's easy for you to take that kind of physical risk. you have government healthcare. [cheers & applause] would be unable to stand until the nazis steal any -- my knees. yes, that's senator ted cruz that started at 2:21 eastern
wasting time. not to delay, but to cast himself as churchill to obama's chamberlain in the great fight against hitler's healthcare exchanges. i -- i lost the threat of the metaphor. my point is this: senator cruz -- [laughter] takes awhile to sink in. takes awhile to sink in. senator cruz clearly believes our very freedom is at stake here and senator cruz as a brilliant harvard lawyer and princeton debate champion, i figure he has a great and stunning argument as why obama care places this nation in such peril. >> some time ago i tweeted a speech that ashton kutcher gave. it's a terrific speech. [laughter]
>> jon: you're [bleep] with us, right? i tweeted a speech by ashton kutcher. it was so good, i only needed 140 characters of it. how would that like in the senator's originality? head cruz! senator! you're one of the great minds of our time, says you. who says? we are facing one of the great perils of our age. and yet you outsourced your argument and wisdom to a dude who cannot find his car? [laughter] perhaps there was even more eloquent and soaring speech making to come. >> i want to point out just a few words of wisdom from "duck
dynasty." there was a movie "jason versus freddy." i forgot what happened in that movie. eight white castle restaurants here. i like their little burgers. in my mind, i heard the music from the shining. not shining. psycho. and just like the words from "star wars", mike lee, i am your father! >> jon: you're losing them! come on, senator ted cruz. this even a filibuster. you had 20 hours to make your case. you're double ivy league. surely you can do better. maybe cite a study or a book. >> dr. suess' green eggs and ham. i do not like them, sam i am. i do not like green eggs and ham. >> jon: so to expect your opposition to obama care, you go with a book about a stubborn jerk that decides he hates something before he's tried it?
and when he finally does get a taste -- [cheers & applause] -- he has to admit after tasting it -- >> this is pretty [bleep] good. >> jon: senator cruz, you're trying to save america. get to the dire foundational issue at hand. >> do you like your doctor? do you want to keep seeing your doctor? i'll tell you, americans all over this country are losing their healthcare because of obama care. they're losing their ability to see their doctors. that's what happens if the senate doesn't act to under obama care. >> jon: in utopia where doctor and patient mate for life -- >> one half of small businesses say they will either cut hours to reduce full time employees or replace full time employees with part-time workers to avoid the mandate. obama care is estimated to have
increased individual health insurance premiums by anywhere from 64% to 146%. >> jon: i'm not saying obama care is perfect. it's not. it was designed by congress. nothing designed by congress is perfect. you ask them to design a puppy, you'd get something with no face, two [bleep] and a semiautomatic. that's fine. [laughter] take that down. that is really disturbing. do you have a more foundational critique? >> obama care is the biggest job killer in the country. small businesses have been hammered under obama care unlike ever before. it's shattering the country. >> jon: as of now, i'm unaware of the specific growth of impact on jobs that it's had given the sign up doesn't start until next
week. clearly economic growth is an issue. just the possibility that obama care may be hurting the economy is enough to get you on your feet for 21 hours. i congratulate you on that, sir. but i can't think of another thing that came out of washington recently that is hurting economic growth right now. according to the congressional budget office, the spending cuts from the sequester are costing millions 3 million jobs a year alone. how did you feel about those cuts? >> we stood our ground and finally got at least the first small step, and i underscore it's a small step, to reigning in our uncontrollable spending and debt. >> jon: oh! so that slowdown for economic growth is good? you know who else thought uncontrollable debt and spending was a good idea? hitler. [laughter] so your problem with the
sequester is that it didn't cost us enough jobs. for all its flaws, obama care appears to be at least attempting to fix some holes in our healthcare system. like insurance companies denying coverage. so if you're going to repeal it, have some idea of your own how to do that. pre-existing conditions. how would you do that? >> my view on pre-existing conditions is we ought to reform the market to deal with that problem. [laughter] >> jon: so you got nothing. you know what, ted cruz? the level of threat you say we face from obama care isn't met by the quality of solution and the rhetoric that you offer. reminds me of a character you once red about by i believe one of your favorite authors, dr. suess, his beloved children's book, the borax. join me now as i read a favorite section.
[laughter] in the land of d.c. and the senate of snooze, live the show bodius blab whose name was ted cruz. ted talked about healthcare, compared it to nazis. as comparisons go, he was off by a lotsy. [laughter] healthcare, he said, would end this great nation. a point made after hours of mouth masturbation. [applause] repeal it, defund it, erase it, deny it, murder it, [bleep] it and bread and deep fry it! [laughter]
flea from atoms for peace. [cheers & applause] >> what is that? >> straight vodka. >> jon: that's beautiful. i expect no less. how did -- how does this happen? that you and you come together? what is the genesis of a band such as this? >> i was hanging out back stage at one of his shows and he was talking about a record i did on my own called "the razor." and i thought a few months later, i want to try to play it live. i want to get a band together. i e-mailed you and joey and some more friends and say, do you want to do it? they all got back in a couple
hours. that's what happened. >> jon: and you put it together. >> i received an e-mail from thom. >> jon: it's hard to hear from rock stars. >> i received an e-mail -- >> i received an e-mail. >> i danced around the house like a hinged animal screaming like -- and i went back and said, oh, i'd be delighted. >> jon: does this create within your band, is there a sense of like oh, do you not love us anymore? do they come to you and say oh, you're going to use flea? he's good. [laughter] like how do you balance that in your other projects? >> i think it's all healthy, right? it's all healthy to free range a bit. >> jon: yeah, i say that to my wife. >> yeah. >> it's very much like a romantic relationship being in a band. >> jon: it is. i saw you guys in 86, i think. >> for 30 years. we started 30 years ago.
>> jon: that's incredible. [applause] incredible. >> but to have the opportunity to play with thom and nigel and joey and play with musicians i respect that are interested in pushing boundaries and reaching forward and curious about new sounds, it's a great opportunity. so i'm just humble. >> jon: that's great. look at you. is it difficult to get a new group to gel? when you have the men, do you have in your mind a certain sound and a certain rhythm you're looking for or do you say i like flea's style and rhythm and i'm going to adjust a little bit to that? how does that come together? >> it was like i could only think of flea because flea plays bass like a lead instrument. >> like nobody ever played it. tremendous. >> that's what i really wanted to happen. when we got together, it was one of those things -- it was no idea. you don't know. >> jon: did the writing process take place over a period of
time? >> we sort of did it on our own. but the sound created was not something i expected. it was really exciting. an experiment that worked. >> jon: that's what this album is. you're going to play two songs off of that for us. >> one from that and one -- >> jon: one from the older one. then i most likely will off camera dance like a loser. [cheers & applause] we'll be back. atoms for peace. we'll be right back. [cheers & applause]
♪ i laugh now ♪ but later it's easy ♪ i've gotta stop ♪ the will is strong ♪ but the flesh is weak ♪ guess that's it ♪ i've made my bed ♪ and i'm lying in it ♪ but it's eating me up ♪ it's eating me up ♪ if i get free from all my snares and my nets ♪ ♪ it's eating me up ♪ if i get free from all my snares and my nets ♪ ♪ it's eating me up ♪ if i get free from all my snares and my nets ♪
♪ when you've become ♪ inconvenient ♪ two... two, three... ♪ ♪ (screaming) a giant sausage! (yelling and overlapping chatter) oh, god, no! get out of here, you horrific sausage! wait. isn't today the parade? it's just a giant balloon! giant balloon?! (screaming) ♪ bender: see, buddy, it's not so scary. (sniffles) i feel better now. (cheering and whooping) (glass breaking, fireworks popping) (horns honking)
why are so many different parades smooshed together? it's the parade day parade. what's parade day? it used to be that every group in new new york wanted their own parade. why, when i was a boy, we had a parade every day. those were dark times. now we just combine them all into one big parade day parade and get it over with. hey, look-- a fog is rolling in. no, that's just the jamaican pride float. (reggae playing) looks like it's speeding up. oh, no! it's within munching distance of the doritos float! thank you. thank you. kif, you're slacking off on my waving arm. (whimpers) (yelling) oh, no. it's heading right for those two nerds! whoa. sweet shirt, dude.