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tv   Buy Me Love  BBC News  October 15, 2021 2:30am-3:01am BST

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a day of mourning's begun in lebanon after violence erupted in the capital, beirut, leaving six people dead. gunmen targeted a protest organised by shia group hezbollah. the us, un and the international community have echoed the lebanese prime minister's calls for calm. police are treating a bow and arrow attack in norway that left five people dead as an act of terrorism. a vigil�*s been held for the victims in the town of kongsberg. a 37—year—old man is under arrest. canon police has arrested the husband of an olympic winning run out. she was a double world championship medallist and olympian. —— kenyan police.
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hundreds of abbatoir workers from abroad are to be given temporary visas to come to the uk. the government announced the move after industry leaders warned that staff shortages in abattoirs meant healthy pigs were having to be destroyed, rather than processed for food. our north of england correspondent danny savage reports from driffield in yorkshire. there were some tense moments waiting for the announcement today assisting pig farmers. when the proposal came to employ 800 foreign butchers and make inviolable more cold storage for carcasses, attention turned to relieve. that is a positive, definitely. hopefully this will help us. definitely a positive. the private storage is a good thing because at least then if the butchers do not come in as many as they want, we can still kill pigs and they will still be used for food.— used for food. are you confident _ used for food. are you confident now - used for food. are you confident now that - used for food. are you | confident now that you used for food. are you - confident now that you will not
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have to cull the pigs on farm? for us, hopefully this has come quick enough but november is two weeks away but i'm not sure how quick they can get the private storage up and running. the government says it has listened to concerns about labour in the pig industry and denies acting too late.- labour in the pig industry and denies acting too late. what we have identified _ denies acting too late. what we have identified from _ denies acting too late. what we have identified from talking - denies acting too late. what we have identified from talking to l have identified from talking to industry— have identified from talking to industry literally over the last — industry literally over the last ten_ industry literally over the last ten days is that labour is an aggravating factor and we can act— an aggravating factor and we can act to solve that problem by having _ can act to solve that problem by having these temporary visas and that— by having these temporary visas and that is what we decided to do. �* ., , ., , and that is what we decided to do. �* ., , ., do. but on this east yorkshire farm, do. but on this east yorkshire farm. there — do. but on this east yorkshire farm, there are _ do. but on this east yorkshire farm, there are caveats - do. but on this east yorkshire farm, there are caveats to - do. but on this east yorkshire| farm, there are caveats to the positive response tonight. the plan has to work, and it must be in place soon. we plan has to work, and it must be in place soon.— be in place soon. we needed butchers _ be in place soon. we needed butchers any _ be in place soon. we needed butchers any processing - be in place soon. we needed l butchers any processing plants 12 weeks ago so it's essential we get stuff in their asaph. there are farmers are ready culling pigs because of overstocking, so we need them now. i'm very disappointed it is taken so long to come to
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this decision and arrangements. we, as farmers, should never be put in this position. this was not our problem. this is a processing problem and where been left to do with the whole emotional, and financial issues. , ., issues. the test now whether the badly _ issues. the test now whether the badly needed _ issues. the test now whether the badly needed foreign - the badly needed foreign workers want to come, and be operational, injust a workers want to come, and be operational, in just a few weeks. savidge, bbc news. now on bbc news, the bbc�*s gender and identity reporter, megha mohan, reports from kenya on love coaching. hello, everybody. how are you doing? this is your coach and your friend, robert burale. one minute with a coach. the coaching industry is projected to be worth $22 billion by 2022. it's one of the world's fastest growing industries. we stay on paths that are not our destiny. gurus are not new but in modern times it's grown to include the practical... speaks japanese and the unconventional. now the business and lifestyle
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coaching industry has a lucrative addition — love. what are you waiting for? the secret is, start now. and more and more single people than ever are paying for advice to find love. but are wejust chasing a dream? or is it really possible to buy love and happiness? i'm your coach and your friend, robert burale. robert! hi, how you doing? hey, how are you? welcome. shall we do the, er... do this. robert burale is one kenya's most popular life and love coaches. he invited me to a day retreat he was hosting for women looking for a husband. what do you think the women are hoping to get to this course? first and foremost, they want to meet somebody who will be with them and they can live happily ever after, but some are also broken and they want answers. and you're hoping to fix them? yes. the question is, somebody would say, but i think i have what it takes, i have a good job, i have this and that, but how come it doesn't happen for me?
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so you're going to give them, kind of, hard, empirical advice to get the guy? right, absolutely. because some are making crazy mistakes. some because they believe the lie that when you get to 35, 40, that you've got to do it quickly. that's it. yeah, so any man who comes and says "come home", you rush home. "i want to sleep with you". ok, fine, he's a hunter, he got what he wanted, he's left. so, as much as we'll speak politely, my relationship angle of my business is called the naked truth. we'll also tell them some hard things. robert voiceover: ti? difference between potential and manifestation is the information that we have. in other words, information is power. what you take in is what you give out. well, allow me to invite you on a journey. robert burale also hosts relationship and life coaching videos which get hundreds of thousands of views. so what happens in this room? this isjust where, it's like a set where people can come and do digital productions here, tv productions.
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but more so a place we can come as men as just sit and have our own time. i don't do my videos from here, orfrom just head, i do my videos from deep within me. yeah. so when i look at the camera, i don't see the camera, i see a human being desperate for some word, to give them a jumpstart for their life. robert burale is holding his event in an exclusive hotel owned by kenya's vice president. so this will be the stage. so we'll be looking, everything is happening here and they're sitting facing us. we'll have a raised stage, we'll have the dj... so you're going to be here? i'm going to be here. i'll be one of the women sitting, sitting in one of the tables looking at you from here. yes, exactly.
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lessons is things men wish women would know. very simple things like if i'm here with my woman, and there are ten other men there, i must be the centre of her. everything about me is what she wants. like i want her to acknowledge me, i want her to agree with what i'm saying. it could be right, it could be wrong, but that's how man works. who are the kind of men that feel this way? where have you heard that men feel this way? trust me, it doesn't matter the financial background, the educational background, there's something that holds most men — if not all — it's the ego. the difference is, some react to it, others die with it, but every man has an ego. the woman is the neck, the man is the head. the man sees where you're going which is the vision, the man hears, the man says this is where i want us to go. but guess what?
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the woman is the neck, she has the power to turn where the head will go... that is from my big fat greek wedding. you've heard that before? was there a time when you weren't as good as you are right now? �*cause i'm hanging onto every word that you're saying and i'm just wondering if you've always been such a good speaker. there's what you call being a good speaker and that's all there is. but there's being a good speaker as you give life so when i speak, i speak from here. do i know how it feels to be hungry? yes, i do. do i know how it feels to own only one shut, oh yes i do. so when i speak, i'm like guys, let's go on this journey. we have to rise up together. jane will be attending the course. she's 32 years old and a single mum who works at a call centre. she's also a part—time local model. are you looking for a husband?
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if i get someone who really understands my schedule and understand where i'm coming from, or maybe someone who's going through the same things that i've gone through, then i think i can give it a shot. what if you learn nothing from it? what if you don't get to meet a guy at the end of this? would it feel like it's a waste? no. ok, it wouldn't feel like a waste because even if you don't get someone, at least you'll hear something that you'll remember for the rest of your life. according to the global coaching federation, an industry body, dating and lifestyle coaches have doubled in popularity and worth since 2015. a boom from an ever expanding online audience. robert burale is very aware of the power of his brand. this is what you call the backdrop banner — the huge one that we'll will put on stage. it's also brand positioning, brand visibility, but why black, you ask? why black?
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power. what does this brand say for women? well, first and foremost, this colour is very acceptable to the women. pink? pink is acceptable and that's why we've used my name in pink so that they can trust me. laughter. are you joking? no, i'm not! and how much is the course? it's 11,500 for a day seminar. and how much is that in, is that an expensive course? it is, for one day. normally when people have functions, if it's a day function, they'd charge 1,000 shillings. 2,000 shillings the very top. so 11,500 is not a small amount, but anybody who wants to grow must be ready to invest in themselves, knowledge is power. applied knowledge is wisdom. mary will also be attending robert burale's course. she's 35 and the oldest of five sisters.
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everyone else around you would expect you being the first born in yourfamily, you're the one who's supposed to be married first. most pressure comes from the family — your parents, your grandparents, your uncles, aunties. they don't even know i've ever had a boyfriend. yeah. want to know what am i doing wrong or what is happening. why do you keep thinking that you're doing something wrong? i don't know because everyone else is...yeah. your mates, your friends, and some people tell me i'm choosy. i don't know if i'm choosy or what because, i don't know. so you're hoping that this is the answer to finding a husband. uh, i would say 50—50, maybe. i wouldn't give it 100%. it's worth a try, i would say. three of mary's younger sisters are all back at their parents' home after the breakdown in their own marriages. so what do you think about marriage? do you think marriage is a good thing? no. no, it is not a good
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thing at all. marriage has never worked for us. we have tried, but... laughter. it has not worked. would you three like to get married again? yes, if i can find a good man, they're not all bad. like me, i would like to go there. you would like to do the course? yes! you would do it? yeah. at the top end of this billion—dollar industry, matthew hussey is one of the global stars who's amassed millions of followers across his social media. he's based in the us where the lifestyle coaching industry is the largest in the world. hello. hello, matthew, how are you? a booking at one of his lifestyle coaching retreats can cost several thousand dollars. with covid currently putting a hold on these real world
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events, hussey and his team are hosting a three—day virtual retreat that will cost participants $800 to attend. what would we expect to see in the seminar? my home has been turned into a live set and people will be tuning in. we have about 800 people coming in from all over the world. i'm someone who became known very much for helping people in their dating lives but the reason people would come to the retreat was because of the deeper reasons why maybe their life didn't feel as enjoyable as perhaps it should, they weren't making the progress they wanted to. for you, what would success look like? if someone approaches me on the street and says "i'm married because of you", that's great. if that's what you wanted and that's what you got, that's amazing. but by the way, i also want to make sure that through my work you're just as happy if you didn't find that. i'm just as happy for the breakups that i've been responsible for as i am the relationships i've been responsible for.
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a lot of women are still coming from �*get the guy'. and i think a lot of them are hoping that this is the key to finding a lasting relationship. i feel the weight of helping people, you know. i take it extraordinarily seriously and always have. do you ever feel pressure that you might be selling some vulnerable women a dream? i don't think i am selling a dream. i — i — i— for me, i'm definitely selling vulnerable people but i count myself as one of them. if vulnerable is defined by someone who's willing to ask for help or someone who's got something they want to solve in their life and is brave enough to try to solve it then that's my audience. and i don't believe that anyone can watch any of my videos and claim that i'm selling a dream. i think if anyone saw, if anyone actually watched my videos on youtube you'd see that i'm very, i'm very honest
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about what i think is possible. but if someone comes to me for dating advice, i want to help them be happy whether it works or not because it's not always going to work. back in kenya, it's the big day. some women have come from over 100 miles away to attend robert burale's event. thank you very much for coming. today we will talk to you ladies about matters relationships. some of you may realise you have been single, not because the men are not there, but you have been single because of your mistakes. the day starts with a series of speakers including shazmeen who kicks off with a group exercise to "expand your heart". so close your eyes...
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and i want you to be able to breathe into your heart. breathe into that little being but keeps you alive. uplifting music plays. as you look around this room with full vulnerability, because you have taken the time to come back home. applause. when burale asked me, "shazmeen, you have women who have been through so much in life, i want you to come and talk to them", i thought so hard about what i would talk about. so not only have i been coaching for nine years, worked on thousands of relationships,
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it was motivated because i went through a very similarjourney. and so after getting married, i lived with my husband for five years in a very emotionally, verbally, physically abusive relationship. and during that time, i started to learn who i was. and so after leaving my husband after these five years, i divorced him, and then we began dating again. yes. we began dating again, and he turned around and sort of came back home to the essence of who he was as a man. not who he thought he should be... but we never, ever realise, sometimes we come in broken and we are hoping someone else would fix us. but in myjourney... i found shazmeen�*s story of returning to a partner who had physically and mentally abused her concerning, so i wanted to discuss it further with robert. so we have had a series of speakers this morning. yes, yes.
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what do you think about our first speaker who came on? shazmeen is a speaker extraordinaire. but she was speaking on stage with herformer abuser just sitting over there. and do you know what, i kept on looking at him and he kept on nodding his head, like, "yes, i used to abuse her physically and mentally." that shows they have gone beyond and they have healed. but could someone think that the message from that would be, stay with your abuser and it might work out? because...femicide is a really big problem globally and people die from staying with their abusers. absolutely, absolutely. and one thing, you see, is the power of her story. she was lucky enough to get out and come back in. sadly, some never get out, and if they get out, it is through a coffin. right. so this is the power
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of her story. we can never take away her story from her, but the one thing i was very impressed about and i was very careful to listen, she did not come out to tell people, "go back." in fact, the message i hope people take from shazmeen is, "i went out to find myself," and that is what ladies need to do. do they need to go back to some people, no — some, no. but for her, very lucky, has a great man who has turned around, and it's actually like a happily ever after. the second half of the day was the main event — the man himself. are you ready for this? i want to tell you some of the mistakes you make. robert burale took to the stage to tell women what men want and what they don't. we want to appreciate you, but we also want to enjoy some things in private. once the naked truths had been dispensed with, burale calls women onto
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the stage to ask them why they felt the need for the course. hello, how is everyone? mary starts. what is this that you can tell us, the ladies and anybody watching, that would help them, based on your own story? i dated someone back in 2012, who was very hot, when i say hot he was hot — sixpack, good looking, everything. after three months, communication went boop, dead. so when i called him to inquire what was happening, this guy told me, "you know what, my lifestyle has changed, "my class has changed" — what would that tell you as a woman? made you feel lower. very low. they guy lowered my self—esteem to a point that sometimes... i never dated for so many years, because ijudged every other man. why didn't you date? what did you think? i don't know, but i felt
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like i was not enough. based on what the first man had said? uh-huh. and i hope you understand that those words are not meant for you, because they are not true of you. but it is somebody who wants to bring you down to their level. applause appreciate her please. jane had appeared to really embrace the day's speakers, and when it was her turn to take to the stage, she clearly had something on her mind that she wanted to share. it is like a wound. and the moment you don't let it heal, it will continue being bigger and bigger and it will affect your life. applause thank you very much. before i go, i would like to say something. i have known robert for quite some time, but i don't know whether he knows this, but now because i have the opportunity, let me confess something.
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there was a time i wanted to commit suicide. and that night i had bought the drugs and everything, and, um... he had a facebook live, he was talking about, um... ..being on the ashes. so i was watching the episode with my daughter, we were in bed, and god knows the next step, what will... but i don't know whether it is by god's grace, in the middle of that facebook live, we fell asleep. and the next morning... i didn't know where to begin. i was like, "oh, my god, i am alive." so i took the drugs and threw them away, so i prepared myself to go to work and i prepared my daughter
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to go to school. if you see me crying, it's not because i broken, if you see me crying, it's not because i'm broken, it is because i'm a strong woman. applause continue encouraging people, robert, because you don't know, you are saving lives out there, with or without your knowledge. thank you very much. let's appreciate her, please. applause all right, thank you. clears throat we need the sanitiser please. i wanted to check in
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with jane after the event. she seemed to have gone into burale's event looking for tricks on how to meet a guy, but the day appeared to make her confront a lot more. i have a relationship, a new relationship with myself, because sometimes we tend to compromise, you know, we compromise a lot to take someone in, and i got to learn that if i am not good for them, they are missing out. yesterday after the function, i came and gave her a notebook and she wrote something for me, like, just telling me, "mummy, you are beautiful, you're a great woman, "i love you, just go to bed and relax." i don't know, itjust made me feel good, it made me feel like i am the best, it made me feel at ease, it made me feel at peace with myself. yeah, and to know that she appreciates me, that made me feel like a superwoman, yeah.
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there are no guarantees offered when signing up for this kind of a course. but maybe it is not actually about the guarantee of love that people are signing up for. perhaps it is to stop the feeling of helplessness waiting for love to arrive, feel secure in who you are or maybe even to stop looking altogether. so what have you learned from that course, though, how are you going to approach things differently? actually the most important take out from that course was... just be happy, make yourself happy, love yourself first, people give love out, but give it to yourself fully. don't panic, there is still time, there is still time. so i was told i am still young. ha!
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hello. a chilly start to friday across the north of the uk. we've had a cold front gradually working its way southwards through thursday. that's been bringing some outbreaks of rain. and as its name implies, behind it, we've got colder air, so likely to see a touch of frost through parts of northeast scotland and northeast england to start the day on friday. further south, still holding onto this milder air through parts of south wales and into southern england. and it's here we've still got that frontal zone through friday morning, so cloudier, maybe the odd patch of rain. most of that will have fizzled out. through the afternoon, the cloud should thin and break here. and for all of us, we should
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see some good spells of sunshine during friday. just more cloud pushing into northern and western scotland through the afternoon. temperatures lower here, just nine or 10 celsius the top temperature. certainly a fresher feel compared to friday. 13 to 15 celsius further south, perhaps 16 across southwest england. but it's a fine end to the day for most, late spells of sunshine before cloud piles in across the north and west of scotland overnight, also into northern ireland and western parts of england and wales too. further east is where we'll have the clearer skies and once again a cold night, particularly for northeast scotland and northeast england, where we could see a few pockets of air frost. but this brief autumnal chill doesn't last for long. as we head into the weekend, we've got further frontal systems approaching from the west. and with those, we'll see a return of the milder air across much of england, wales and northern ireland on saturday and eventually back up into scotland on sunday. so let's take a closer look at saturday, which overall will be a cloudier day compared to friday. most will be dry, the odd patch of rain, but some rain will arrive into northern ireland as we head
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into the late afternoon. temperatures starting to recover on saturday, but still a fairly cool feel across the far northeast of england and into scotland. and on sunday, this frontal system will slide its way across and begin to weaken — look what's happening out into the west. but on sunday, we're likely to see some showers, maybe some longer spells of rain. but come the afternoon, looks like the rain will begin to ease and we should see a few spells of sunshine developing. temperatures back up into the mid, if not high teens and starting to feel a little bit less chilly across scotland as well. but as we move into next week, it will be mild, yes, but we're also likely to see some frequent showers or longer spells of rain. goodbye.
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welcome to bbc news, i'm mark lobel. our top stories: donate the jabs you promised. as the world health organization urges rich countries to fulfil their pledges, we're in south sudan where coronavirus vaccination falls behind target. kova cs kovacs is meant to ensure that countries like south sudan would not be left behind and now it was hoped that one in ten would be vaccinated but only one in 500,000 sudanese have been vaccinated —— covax. deadly violence erupts in lebanon.
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six people are killed after gunmen attack a protest


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