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tv   Buy Me Love  BBC News  October 9, 2021 1:30pm-2:00pm BST

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variety of mechanisms for gathering up the views of others, the catholic people. so this is very difficult for a lot of bishops. however to do it? those mechanisms, structures, they are simple forms but it is not the case of real listening because the catch is, that although he bishops in their document say to all of us every voice will be heard, the neck sentences and we'd be bishops will what goes to rome — the next sentence. very interesting to hear you explain that to get your perspective on it, mary. how important is it to people that they feel they are being listened to in a meaningful way and that their thoughts will lead to meaningful change in this process, if people are to keep their faith, and to keep faith with the church? well, that is completely
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the question. that is why the small group of us, and we are only small, but we've taken a step of saying we don't have to wait. if we wait for the bishops to do it it could be a long long time. catholics can do it for themselves now. we have a responsibility to educate ourselves and a responsibility to support those bishops when we can, because we have just held a very successful one, with over a0 international speakers over a week, and every speech and talk can be heard if you just click on our website. it wasn't difficult, it was a lot of work, but it wasn't difficult. people are ripe for reform, and what they have to remember is that we are the catholics that haven't walked away because we are actually the church's get out ofjail free card. we need to be heard.
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let's ta ke let's take a look at the weather. the thug lingered, it was clip treacherous on the road, sure ci'm we are into autumn. i know treacherous on the road, sure ci�*m we are into autumn. i know it's a weekend but stick with us because i think those that have seen the cloud and rain today, tomorrow will have the dry sunnier weather. the raiders petering out as it crosses into the north and west of england and wales, and its mild even under the cloud, some sunshine to end the day northern ireland, still hanging on to the sunshine in the south and east. but this is a weakening feature. overnight it will introduce cloudy skies to southern parts, milder, less foggy, but not totally gone by the morning. much fresher further north and west end dryer, and there for the sunday we turned the tables and will see although many dry where we will have a lot of
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cloud in the south, there for the sun is looking like it will prevail across much of scotland, northern ireland, northern and western england and wales. this will drag its heels, a rather grey feel, the odd spot of drizzle, but fresher for most. just the odd shower and still quite a brisk wind across the far north of scotland. more in half an hour. hello, this is bbc news with annita mcveigh. the headlines... pressure grows on the uk government to help businesses facing soaring energy bills, as some of its own mps join industry bosses in asking for support. chinese president xi jinping vows to unify china and taiwan as heightened tensions over the island continue. translation: if china can be unified, all chinese _ will enjoy a happy life. if china can't unify,
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everyone will suffer. the united states and the taliban are holding face—to—face talks in their first meeting since the group seized control of afghanistan in august. women in the uk who are travelling home alone could soon be offered protection from a free mobile phone app. lukwesa burak will be with you from two o'clock. now on bbc news, it's time for buy me love. meghan mohan has been to kenya find out about the rise of so called �*love coaches�*, who claim they can help anyone find a lasting relationship. hello, everybody, how are you doing? this is your coach and your friend, robert burale. one minute with a coach. the coaching industry is projected to be worth $22 billion by 2022. it's one of the world's fastest growing industries. we stay on paths that are not our destiny. gurus are not new but in modern times it's grown
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to include the practical... she speaks japanese. and the unconventional. now the business and lifestyle coaching industry has a lucrative addition — love. what are you waiting for? the secret is, start now. and more and more single people than ever are paying for advice to find love. but are we just chasing a dream? or is it really possible to buy love and happiness? i'm your coach and your friend, robert burale. robert! hi, how you doing? hey, how are you? welcome. shall we do the, er... do this. robert burale is one kenya's most popular life and love coaches. he invited me to a day retreat he was hosting for women looking for a husband. what do you think the women are hoping to get to this course? first and foremost, they want to meet somebody who will be with them and they can live happily ever after, but some are also broken and they want answers. and you're hoping to fix them?
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yes. the question is, somebody would say, but i think i have what it takes, i have a good job, i have this and that, but how come it doesn't happen for me? so you're going to give them, kind of, hard, empirical advice to get the guy? right, absolutely. because some are making crazy mistakes. some because they believe the lie that when you get to 35, 40, that you've got to do it quickly. that's it. yeah, so any man who comes and says "come home", you rush home. "i want to sleep with you". ok, fine, he's a hunter, he got what he wanted, he's left. so, as much as we'll speak politely, my relationship angle of my business is called the naked truth. we'll also tell them some hard things. robert voiceover: the difference | between potential and manifestation is the information that we have. in other words, information is power. what you take in is what you give out. well, allow me to invite you on a journey. robert burale also hosts relationship and life coaching videos which get hundreds of thousands of views.
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so what happens in this room? this is just where, it's like a set where people can come and do digital productions here, tv productions. but more so a place we can come as men as just sit and have our own time. i don't do my videos from here, orfrom just head, i do my videos from deep within me. yeah. so when i look at the camera, i don't see the camera, i see a human being desperate for some word, to give them a jumpstart for their life. robert burale is holding his event in an exclusive hotel owned by kenya's vice president. so this will be the stage. so we'll be looking, everything is happening here and they're sitting facing us. we'll have a raised stage, we'll have the dj... so you're going to be here?
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i'm going to be here. i'll be one of the women sitting, sitting in one of the tables looking at you from here. yes, exactly. lessons is things men wish women would know. very simple things like if i'm here with my woman, and there are ten other men there, i must be the centre of her. everything about me is what she wants. like i want her to acknowledge me, i want her to agree with what i'm saying. it could be right, it could be wrong, but that's how man works. who are the kind of men that feel this way? where have you heard that men feel this way? trust me, it doesn't matter the financial background, the educational background, there's something that holds most men — if not all — it's the ego. the difference is, some react to it, others die with it, but every man has an ego. the woman is the neck, the man is the head. the man sees where you're
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going which is the vision, the man hears, the man says this is where i want us to go. but guess what? the woman is the neck, she has the power to turn where the head will go... that is from my big fat greek wedding. you've heard that before? was there a time when you weren't as good as you are right now? �*cause i'm hanging onto every word that you're saying and i'm just wondering if you've always been such a good speaker. there's what you call being a good speaker and that's all there is. but there's being a good speaker as you give life so when i speak, i speakfrom here. do i know how it feels to be hungry? yes, i do. do i know how it feels to own only one shut, oh yes i do. so when i speak, i'm like guys, let's go on this journey. we have to rise up together. jane will be attending the course.
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she's 32 years old and a single mum who works at a call centre. she's also a part—time local model. are you looking for a husband? if i get someone who really understands my schedule and understand where i'm coming from, or maybe someone who's going through the same things that i've gone through, then i think i can give it a shot. what if you learn nothing from it? what if you don't get to meet a guy at the end of this? would it feel like it's a waste? no. ok, it wouldn't feel like a waste because even if you don't get someone, at least you'll hear something that you'll remember for the rest of your life. according to the global coaching federation, an industry body, dating and lifestyle coaches have doubled in popularity and worth since 2015. a boom from an ever expanding online audience. robert burale is very aware of the power of his brand. this is what you call
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the backdrop banner — the huge one that we'll will put on stage. it's also brand positioning, brand visibility, but why black, you ask? why black? power. what does this brand say for women? well, first and foremost, this colour is very acceptable to the women. pink? pink is acceptable and that's why we've used my name in pink so that they can trust me. laughter. are you joking? no, i'm not! and how much is the course? it's 4,500 for a day seminar. and how much is that in, is that an expensive course? it is, for one day. normally when people have functions, if it's a day function, they'd charge 1,000 shillings. 2,000 shillings the very top. so 4,500 is not a small amount, but anybody who wants to grow must be ready to invest in themselves, knowledge is power. applied knowledge is wisdom.
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mary will also be attending robert burale's course. she's 35 and the oldest of five sisters. everyone else around you would expect you being the first born in your family, you're the one who's supposed to be married first. most pressure comes from the family — your parents, your grandparents, your uncles, aunties. they don't even know i've ever had a boyfriend. yeah. want to know what am i doing wrong or what is happening. why do you keep thinking that you're doing something wrong? i don't know because everyone else is...yeah. your mates, your friends, and some people tell me i'm choosy. i don't know if i'm choosy or what because, i don't know. so you're hoping that this is the answer to finding a husband. uh, i would say 50—50, maybe. i wouldn't give it 100%. it's worth a try, i would say. three of mary's younger sisters are all back at their parents�*
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home after the breakdown in their own marriages. so what do you think about marriage? do you think marriage is a good thing? no. no, it is not a good thing at all. marriage has never worked for us. we have tried, but... laughter. it has not worked. would you three like to get married again? yes, if i can find a good man, they're not all bad. like me, i would like to go there. you would like to do the course? yes! you would do it? yeah. at the top end of this billion—dollar industry, matthew hussey is one of the global stars who's amassed millions of followers across his social media. he's based in the us where the lifestyle coaching industry is the largest in the world. hello. hello, matthew, how are you? a booking at one of his lifestyle
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coaching retreats can cost several thousand dollars. with covid currently putting a hold on these real world events, hussey and his team are hosting a three—day virtual retreat that will cost participants $800 to attend. what would we expect to see in the seminar? my home has been turned into a live set and people will be tuning in. we have about 800 people coming in from all over the world. i'm someone who became known very much for helping people in their dating lives but the reason people would come to the retreat was because of the deeper reasons why maybe their life didn't feel as enjoyable as perhaps it should, they weren't making the progress they wanted to. for you, what would success look like? if someone approaches me on the street and says "i'm married because of you", that's great. if that's what you wanted and that's what you got, that's amazing. but by the way, i also want to make sure that through my work
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you're just as happy if you didn't find that. i'm just as happy for the breakups that i've been responsible for as i am the relationships i've been responsible for. a lot of women are still coming from �*get the guy'. and i think a lot of them are hoping that this is the key to finding a lasting relationship. i feel the weight of helping people, you know. i take it extraordinarily seriously and always have. do you ever feel pressure that you might be selling some vulnerable women a dream? i don't think i am selling a dream. i — i — i— for me, i'm definitely selling vulnerable people but i count myself as one of them. if vulnerable is defined by someone who's willing to ask for help or someone who's got something they want to solve in their life and is brave enough to try to solve it then that's my audience. and i don't believe that anyone can watch any of my videos and claim
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that i'm selling a dream. i think if anyone saw, if anyone actually watched my videos on youtube you'd see that i'm very, i'm very honest about what i think is possible. but if someone comes to me for dating advice, i want to help them be happy whether it works or not because it's not always going to work. back in kenya, it's the big day. some women have come from over 100 miles away to attend robert burale's event. thank you very much for coming. today we will talk to you ladies about matters relationships. some of you may realise you have been single, not because the men are not there, but you have been single because of your mistakes. the day starts with a series
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of speakers including shazmeen who kicks off with a group exercise to "expand your heart". so close your eyes... and i want you to be able to breathe into your heart. breathe into that little being that keeps you alive. inspirational music plays. as you look around this room with full vulnerability, because you have taken the time to come back home. applause. when burale asked me, "shazmeen, you have women who have been through so much in life, i want you to come and talk to them", i thought so hard about what i would talk about.
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so not only have i been coaching for nine years, worked on thousands of relationships, it was motivated because i went through a very similarjourney. and so after getting married i lived with my husband for five years in a very emotionally, verbally, physically abusive relationship. and during that time, i started to learn who i was. and so after leaving my husband after these five years, i divorced him, and then we began dating again. yes. we began dating again, and he turned around and sort of came back home to the essence of who he was as a man. not who he thought he should be... but we never, ever realise, sometimes we come in broken and we are hoping someone else would fix us. but in myjourney... i found shazmeen�*s story of returning to a partner who had physically and mentally
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abused her concerning, so i wanted to discuss it further with robert. so we have had a series of speakers this morning. yes, yes. what do you think about our first speaker who came on? shazmeen is a speaker extraordinaire. but she was speaking on stage with herformer abuser just sitting over there. and do you know what, i kept on looking at him and he kept on nodding his head, like "yes, i used to abuse her physically and mentally". that shows they have gone beyond and they have healed. but could someone think that the message from that would be, stay with your abuser and it might work out? because...femicide is a really big problem globally and people die from staying with their abusers. absolutely, absolutely. and one thing, you see, is the power of her story. she was lucky enough to get out and come back in. sadly some never get out,
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and if they get out, it is through a coffin. right. so this is the power of her story. we can never take away her story from her, but the one thing i was very impressed about and i was very careful to listen, she did not come out to tell people "go back". in fact the message i hope people take from shazmen is "i went out to find myself", and that is what ladies need to do. do they need to go back to some people, no — some, no. but for her, very lucky, has a great man who has turned around, and it's actually like a happily ever after. the second half of the day was the main event — the man himself. are you ready for this? i want to tell you some of the mistakes you make. robert burale took to the stage to tell women what men want and what they don't.
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we want to appreciate you, but we also want to enjoy some things in private. once the naked truths had been dispensed with, burale calls women onto the stage to ask them why they felt the need for the course. hello, how is everyone? mary starts. what is this that you can tell us, the ladies and anybody watching, that would help them, based on your own story? i dated someone back in 2012, who was very hot, when i say hot he was hot — sixpack, good—looking, everything. after three months, communication went boop, dead. so when i called him to inquire what was happening, this guy told me, you know what, my lifestyle has changed, my class has changed — what would that tell you as a woman? made you feel lower. very low. they guy lowered my self—esteem to a point that sometimes...
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i never dated for so many years, because ijudged every other man. why didn't you date, what did you think? i don't know, but i felt like i was not enough. based on what the first man had said? uh-huh. and i hope you understand that those words are not meant for you, because they are not true of you. but it is somebody who wants to bring you down to their level. applause. appreciate her please. jane had appeared to really embrace the day's speakers, and when it was her turn to take to the stage, she clearly had something on her mind that she wanted to share. it is like a wound. and the moment you don't let it heal, it will continue being biggerand biggerand it will affect your life. applause. thank you very much. before i go, i would like to say something. i have known robert for quite some
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time, but i don't know whether he knows this, but now because i have the opportunity, let me confess something. there was a time i wanted to commit suicide. and that night i had bought the drugs and everything, and, um... he had a facebook live, he was talking about, um... being on the ashes. so i was watching the episode, with my daughter, we were in bed, and god knows the next step, what will... i don't know whether it is by god's grace, in the middle of that facebook live, we fell asleep. and, the next morning... i didn't know where to begin.
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i was like, "oh, my god, i am alive". so i took the drugs and threw them away, so i prepared myself to go to work and i prepared my daughter to go to school. if you see me crying it's not because i'm broken, it is because i'm a strong woman. applause. continue encouraging people, robert, because you don't know, you are saving lives out there, with or without your knowledge. thank you very much. let's appreciate her, please. applause. all right, thank you. clears throat. we need the sanitiser please...
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i wanted to check in with jane after the event. she seemed to have gone into burale's event looking for tricks on how to meet a guy, but the day appeared to make her confront a lot more. i have a relationship, a new relationship with myself, because sometimes we tend to compromise, you know, we compromise a lot to take someone in, and i got to learn that if i am not good for them they are missing out. yesterday after the function, i came and gave her a notebook and she wrote something for me, likejust telling me, "mummy, you are beautiful, a great woman, i love you, just go to bed and relax". itjust made me feel good, it made me feel like i am the best,
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it made me feel at ease, it made me feel at peace with myself. yeah, and to know that she appreciates me, that made me feel like a superwoman, yeah. there are no guarantees offered when signing up for this kind of a course. but maybe it is not actually about the guarantee of love that people are signing up for. perhaps it is to stop the feeling of helplessness waiting for love to arrive, feel secure in who you are, or maybe even to stop looking altogether. so what have you learned from that course, though, how are you going to approach things differently? actually the most important take out from that course was... just be happy, make yourself happy, love yourself first, people give love out, but give it to yourself fully. don't panic, there is still time, there is still time. so i was told i am still young. ha!
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good afternoon this was taken in portland have now ago. the weather todayis portland have now ago. the weather today is a tale of two halves. this cloud is a weather front, the today is a tale of two halves. this cloud is a weatherfront, the rain still quite active but tending to weaken as it edges southwards and eastwards. holding on the sunshine
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once the morning fog cleared, cloudy skies but mild under the cloud because of the southerly wind, 19 or 20 and the sunshine. the clearer skies migrate across northern ireland for late sunshine and then in into other parts overnight. more cloud in the south means it will not be as chilly rats recently, not quite as extensive fog but still some first thing in rather grey start. probably no more than a spot of drizzle by that stage. sunday is mainly dry, just cloudy in the south. more sunshine for northern ireland, scotland, northern england, wales, the midlands, south west, eventually the sunshine breaks further south and east but are rather grey complexion for some.
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this help support. emma raducanu loses herfirst match, beaten in straight sets by the world number 100. beaten in straight sets by the world number100. environmentalist beaten in straight sets by the world number 100. environmentalist chris packham joins activists at buckingham palace, urging the royal
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